"No, I'm not the best player in the NBA. Kobe Bryant is the best player. I don't care about the NBA Those days are over with."
"I'm going to set up a foundation for the world. I'm going to take the money and start building cities all over the world. I'm a comet. My man told me I'm a comet. I said, 'I’m a comet?'"
"My kids are like: Daddy, why are you on the bench? Why ain't daddy in the game?"
"I had to overconversate."
"Where would I want my jersey retired? Boston."
"Chris Paul, he got power and he slither, he slither...he move real silky like a snake."
"I'll be a bum for seven dollars and a blowjob? Hahahahaaha. They tryin to put me in a box! Its impossible!"
"Jeanie Buss, I love her with all my heart. I’d take my heart out and give it to her. That’s how ill she is. I love that lady."
"I love Canada. Ohhhh Can-a-da.... I love that song. I love your anthem. I love hearing it. Its fresh."
"You've gotta thank 'em for a bowel movement. You've gotta thank 'em for a bowel movement."
"Am I jealous of Tracy McGrady and Jason Kidd? Jealous of what?"
"Marbury you suck and won't win a championship? Ok, you still talking about basketball and I'm talking about LIFE."
The game takes place in a post-cyberpocalyptic New York called "Neo New York", after a "chaos dunk" causes the death of millions.
Twelve years prior to the game, Charles Barkley, in an attempt to impress his son Hoopz Barkley, performs a Chaos Dunk -- and inadvertently kills almost everyone present. As a result, basketball was made illegal and nearly all great players were killed in "The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041" (a.k.a "B-Ballnacht").
In 2053, another Chaos Dunk rocks Manhattan, killing fifteen million, and the blame falls on Charles, who is believed to be the only human capable of performing the Chaos Dunk. With the help of the Ultimate Hellbane, Charles escapes his pursuers: the B-Ball Removal Department, led by ex-NBA all-star Michael Jordan. Charles follows Ultimate Hellbane through the B-Ball Catacombs to the tomb of LeBron James, discovering that the Ultimate Hellbane is actually Balthios - the Octoroon great grandson of LeBron James. James contacts Charles from the B-ball dimension, offering him a warning which tells him to "seek the Cyberdwarf."
Turns out, there were at least two cameras rolling Monday night when Crawford dunked on James during a pick-up game here at the LeBron James Skills Academy. It was a two-handed jam, the kind that would've circulated quickly on YouTube. But Nike officials eliminated that possibility shortly after the dunk happened by allegedly confiscating tapes from various cameramen.Wait, what? Mr. Check My $tats, Mr. Look-At-Me-I'm-The-MVP doesn't want video circulating on YouTube of him being jammed on by some college kid?! I can't tell you how NOT shocked I am. Let's just say that sound you just heard certainly wasn't my jaw hitting the floor. Between this situation, the egomania t-shirts and that whole "I'm a winner and winners don't have to shake hands" thing, LeBron sure is coming off as kind of a douche lately.
Freelance photographer Ryan Miller was one of the cameramen shooting the game.
He told CBSSports.com that Nike Basketball Senior Director Lynn Merritt took his tape.
"He just said, 'We have to take your tape,'" Miller said. "They took it from other guys, too."
Worth noting is that there is no policy against filming at the LeBron James Skills Academy, and Miller said he had been filming all day without incident. Nobody ever told him to stop. Nobody ever said there was a problem...until after Crawford dunked on James.
"LeBron called Lynn over and told him something," Miller said. "That's how I knew his name was Lynn. LeBron said, 'Hey, Lynn. Come here.'"
Minutes later, Miller said Merritt demanded his tape.
"There's nothing I can think of besides LeBron just not wanting it online," Miller said. "It's a good story to tell people, I guess. But then again, I'm kind of pissed. I lost my tape."