Editor's note: This flow chart and the following breakdown (girls only) are the work of Basketbawful's own AnacondaHL. It was far too brilliant not to get its own post.

The Breakdown:

Jennifer Aniston: Gives the hometown girl feeling, maybe even a shade bitchy. Looks great at certain camera angles. Here's hoping Matt becomes the "Brad Pitt" and finds his "Angelina", or something. (Extra note: I don't find Angelina Jolie attractive really.)

Jennifer Connelly: Also looks GREAT at some angles, but not so much at others, hence explaining why Matt was usually confused at her advances.

Jennifer Garner: I don't think she's attractive, but some people think she is, so hence why Nancy got a full dose of Matt awkwardness.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: I think she's hot, and would be an upgrade over Aimee, and in my view, the decision between Latrisse and Susan was supposed to be close, had Matt not been numb and all.

Jennifer Morrison: Ah, now this is the sweet girl next door. Remember your reaction when she did this FHM photoshoot? My list really came together when I remembered her, especially the parallels with her character in House as a mild sauce Taco Bell Jennifer.

Jennifer Hawkins: Reserved as the hottest of the list, the most "California looking" (my apologies, Aussies). If you don't know who she is, perhaps a look back on Google Trends of Miss Universe 2004 will remind you (videos that may be found in links from this link may be NSFW).

J-lol: Again, I don't find her attractive, but she is "hot," and is the clear candidate for the category.

DVD Bonus: If I had to edit it for ver.2, I'd put Jennifer Hudson as Latrisse, probably move/recast Garner and Connelly, add the word "fugly" to Susan's friend, add a d20 next to Nathan and Ron, and move the word "Mat" over to the right bit just so you could get an eyefull of Vin Diesel tit. (Do you know how stupid it was to Google Image Search for a Mat picture? "Dutch actor" got nothing, "young Arnold Schwarzenegger" had too much hair, "bald actor" got lots of modern day Bruce Willis, I was about ready to query "bald young topless actor" before the final pic showed up. The pain I go through just for you guys.)

Part 12

Labels: amazing flow charts, college stories, guest author, Livin' Large