Oh, so the Association wants to offer these fools 99% ($74 million) of a $75 million development cost to build a new arena in Sacramento that was agreed to months ago?  Where the River City did EVERYTHING asked of them and then some?



Nope.

Not good enough.

Spare me the platitudes, George, Gavin, and the other bankrupt family members who have had to sell their party casino, beer distributorship, and anything of value as they continue to chase their hope of being Anaheim's attache.

So what are fans in the Sacramento Valley supposed to do now?  Throw their money at this family and hope they have a change of heart (yeah right)?  (Well, they did have a change of heart...to what they really wanted to do in the first place.)

Hope that 29 other owners will be able to prevent them from leaving in this blatant ploy to shore up their own finances at the cost of the Paupers' longest-running home city?

Accept the 2002 Western Conference Finals as a legitimate sporting result?

What else can really be said at this point, the fans did their part, Mayor Kevin Johnson did his part, the NBA was willing to reduce the Maloofs' obligations to negligable...and here we are.

This chapter in the saga is the textbook definition of bawful, ladies and gentlemen.

Labels: beer, conspiracy theories, failure, fan loyalty, historical fail, hypocrites, infamy, Maloof brothers, megalomania, owned, Sacramento Kings, Seattle Supersonics, why don't I have a rich uncle

To nobody's surprise, there is yet another story about the Wade/LeBron/Bosh situation on an NBA website. This Tim Povtak article on NBA Fanhouse is another example of some of your generic "this Heat team will be really good" fare. However, what's this?

Editor's Note: Because of a transcription error, an earlier version of this story contained an incorrect quote from Dwyane Wade. The full and accurate version of the quote is contained in this story. We deeply regret the error.

Wait, what? What could be so bad?

Courtesy of tweet by Pete Gaines, here is a screen capture of the original story:


...Okay then. Wow. Way to be sensitive there, D-Wade. I think the national Terror Alert Level just went up from yellow to a-kinda-sorta-orangey-yellow. And I'm sure conspiracy theorists have already decided D-Wade was somehow involved in the September 11th attacks.

So, Fanhouse claimed there was a "transcription error." Not really sure how you can have a transcription error that egregious slip through the editors, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt. So what was the actual quote, NBA Fanhouse?

"Plus, there's going to be times when we lose 2-3 games in a row, and it seems like the world has crashed down. You all are going to make it seem like the World Trade is coming down again, but it's not going to be nothing but a couple basketball games."

Oh, because that's so much better without the parenthetical "(Center)."

Labels: conspiracy theories, Dwyane Wade

In a turn of events only slightly less devastating than season-ending knee surgery, Greg Oden now has a frohawk. Or maybe the frohawk has him. I'm hoping Steve Blake follows suit and sports a Red Rooster.

Were you wondering why the Jerry Stackhouse trade'n waive was red flagged by the NBA, but it's perfectly fine to dust off an assistant coach or a stay-at-home dad to throw into the deal? You weren't the only one.

Candace Parker is leaving college early to play in the WNBA! But if they go three games without a dunk or a wardrobe malfunction, I'm going back to my Fresh Prince reruns.

Patrick Ewing and Hakeem Olajuwon are on their way to becoming 2008 Hall of Fame inductees, but did everyone forget about Jon Koncak? Of course not!

Charles Barkley appeared on the CNN Situation Room and blasted political conservatives, calling them "fake Christians". Ann Coulter would later appear on NBA Inside Stuff and blast the "fake Charles Barkley".

Did you have a lousy Valentine's Day? It could have been much worse.

Labels: bad contracts, bad haircuts, Charles Barkley, conspiracy theories, halftime shows, Jon Koncak, Valentine's Day, WNBA

Are you wondering exactly why Tracy McGrady was left off the All Star Team? It's not a snub of Manu Ginobili proportions like you might suspect. Snubbed or not, T-Mac had no intention of setting foot in the Big Easy since day one.

Rewind back to 2007. New Orleans was announced as the location for the 2008 ASG, and Tracy McGrady immediately wanted nothing to do with it. And based on the increase in violent crimes in New Orleans and the shitstorm surrounding Las Vegas '07, it was somewhat understandable. Whether he watched too many depressing Spike Lee documentaries or had a bad experience with a Frozen Hurricane and a drunk college co-ed we're not sure, but I wouldn't rule it out.

Fast forward to January 2008. The All Star Game is right around the corner, and Tracy McGrady has a firm grip on the second guard spot in the West, with nearly 10% more votes than the third place Allen Iverson. Suddenly McGrady, with his paltry 22 ppg, 5 assists and 5 boards a night, wants to surrender his spot to a more deserving player, which the rules won't allow.

Then, later that same week, T-Mac cites a nagging knee ailment that, although it ain't so bad now, may cause him to shut it down four weeks from now. Despite the fact that, since that debilitating knee ailment occurred, McGrady is still playing 36 minutes a night and has missed only one game (out of 11). And that one game was missed with flu-like symptoms! Something's fishy here.

The NBA heard T-Mac's waambulance and quietly scratched him from the ASG altogether. But don't ever expect them to say that. The official NBA ASG site shows that, over a 10 day period after paper balloting was closed, Allen Iverson mysteriously surged and overcame the 10% deficit and won by a measly 0.9% (10,400 votes). Despite the fact that T-Mac started in 2006 and 2007, the reserve selection committee also took the hint and decided to let Tracy "rest" and ice down his sore vagina knee, ending his seven game All-Star streak and selecting Brandon Roy and David West.

Even though the New Orleans Hornets play in front of dozens of fans every night without altercation, the Big Easy is apparently something to be very, very afraid of. And Tracy McGrady's unnatural phobia of Harry Connick Jr., voodoo parlors and crawfish etouffee has led to one of the great All Star non-appearances in league history.

Labels: All-Star Game, conspiracy theories, Tracy McGrady

Is the prestige and adulation of the NBA All-Star Game just not your thing? Would you rather spend your time looking into new hair-care products or making poorly timed trade demands? No need to conjure up a mysterious hip ailment or get caught urinating in a Wendy's dumpster, here are a few proven, sure-fire ways to get completely ignored every January. Rest up, your team has three busy months of losing to worry about.

You are The Man...The 6th Man. As long as Gregg Popovich is alive, Manu Ginobili will never go to the All-Star Game again. Popovich always insists on keeping Manu's minutes down, presumably to keep him fresh (i.e. he gets so amped at times he may spontaneously combust), but to the casual fan this means a lack of talent. But if someone hid the Mentholatum vapor rub, rendering Michael Finley, Brent Barry and Bruce Bowen unable to move, you'd see that Ginobili is quietly having an insanely good year. Sit down for this: 4th among shooting guards in assists (per 48 mins), 3rd in points and 2nd in steals, while shooting 40% on threes and an NBA Jam-like 74% in the clutch! Kobe Bryant, you can't do that.

But practical-minded coaches can be the downfall of many a great player. What if Phil Jackson decided to keep Michael Jordan "fresh" during the 90's? Pigeons would be pooping on a Scottie Pippen statue in front of the United Center. I trust that Ginobili will be tossing back some brews with guys like Ricky Pierce, Detlef Schrempf and Toni Kukoc, and having a good laugh. Because exhibition games are for suckers.

Your Teammates Suck. Al Jefferson is having the break-out year many people expected, but there was no doubt whatsoever that Al would be completely ignored. Great players on crappy teams are largely overlooked because people are fully aware of the "Ugly Friend" effect: you might look awesome only because your teammates are terrible.

Believe it or not, Zach Randolph was a completely respectable player as recently as last year. But a 24 point, 10 rebound campaign was nowhere near enough to hide the fact that the Blazers were working on 50 losses (and Zach had outstanding warrants). And Shareef Abdur-Rahim goes without saying (a steady 20 point, 9 rebound, 50 loss guy in Vancouver for 5 seasons).

The "Ugly Friend" effect was so effective back in 2001, it even fooled Bulls GM Jerry Krause, causing Elton Brand to be traded for pennies on the dollar. Those pennies being Tyson Chandler, then PJ Brown. And yes, I'm still bitter.

You have no endorsements and magazines ignore you. Make no mistake, the All-Star Game can be a shameless popularity contest, and if you don't market yourself, the NBA won't market you. The tide turned when BJ Armstrong started alongside Kenny Anderson back in 1994. Now, at this point in time, is Jason Kidd, with his advanced age and sub-37% shooting, a better option than Michael Redd?

Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony were voted as starters this year, but the last two league MVPs had to be named as reserves. Think about that.

Labels: All-Star Game, conspiracy theories, Manu Ginobili, NBA marketing

Legitimate MVP, or simply the poster boyfor a vast white-wing conspiracy?
white-wing conspiracy (wit wing kuhn-spir'-uh-se) noun. The theory that there is a vast positive bias -- be it unconscious or calculated -- given to white basketball players by the mostly white media. Some people believe that this prejudice led directly to Steve Nash's back-to-back MVP awards as well as his overall reputation as an NBA savior.

Usage example: [Some snark from Hardwood Paroxysm] "Jon Barry does a bit of instant history and he's part of a vast white-wing conspiracy to supplant black NBA stars of the past with Nash and his army of Canadian clones."

Word Trivia: After the Boston Celtics defeated the Detroit Pistons in Game 7 of the 1987 Eastern Conference Finals, Dennis Rodman flatly stated that Larry Bird was ''very overrated'' and that Bird had won three consecutive MVPs only ''because he was white.'' When asked if he agreed with Rodman's assessment, Isiah Thomas said, "'Larry Bird is a very, very good basketball player, but I'd have to agree with Dennis. If he was black, he'd be just another good guy.''

That one ridiculous comment almost destroyed Isiah's reputation, and he claimed afterward that it was only a joke (and we all know how honest Isiah is). But many a truth is said in jest, and the truth is that Isiah and a lot of other people felt (and probably still feel) that Bird received undue attention and accolades because of his relatively pasty complexion. Those people and their present-day counterparts also believe that Nash's chalky hue is largely responsible for the praise and recognition that's doted on him by the white-washed press corps. Is a little achromatism all it takes to own the NBA?

Just ask John Stockton. He had several years in which his numbers were on par with or better than Nash's, and he even led the Jazz to the NBA Finals in '97 and '98. But the white-wing conspiracy must have failed, because Karl Malone won Stockton's MVPs. Okay then, maybe we should ask Jason Kidd. Oh, but he's only half white. Maybe that's why he lost the 2002 MVP to Tim Duncan , who happens to be all black. And I forget, how many MVPs did Kevin McHale, Tom Chambers, Chris Mullin, Jeff Hornacek, Detlef Schrempf, Mark Price, and Tom Gugliotta win between them? That's right: Zero.

I'm not saying Nash's skin color might not have been one factor amid many others, but I do think it was a very small factor that paled (get it?) in comparison to other more important factors...like winning. This particular conspiracy theory -- like most others involving the NBA -- is wildly overblown.

Labels: conspiracy theories, Isiah Thomas, Jason Kidd, John Stockton, Larry Bird, skin color, Steve Nash, Word of the Day

In 1984, Bird and the Celtics were the firstvictims of Stern's dark machinations.

As I noted in The Stern Button post, officiating controversies and conspiracy theories have dogged David Stern for the last several years. Looking back, I couldn't help but wonder when it all began. Was it the Dwyane Wade Freethrow-A-Thon in the 2006 NBA Finals? Was it when the Kings got jobbed in Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals? Was it when the Jazz got hosed in Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals? Was it when the Suns got 64 freethrows in Game 7 of the 1993 Western Conference Finals? Or was it the entire second half of Michael Jordan's career? Surprisingly enough, it was none of those. Turns out, the conspiracy theories started in Year 1 of the Stern Regime.

Stern was named Commissioner of the NBA on February 1, 1984. He took the helm of a league beset by fan disinterest, financial problems, and drug scandals, yet he righted the ship almost instantly. Of course, Stern had a little help from fate and circumstance. First, the 1984 NBA Finals featured a classic seven-game showdown between Larry Bird's Boston Celtics and Magic Johnson's Los Angeles Lakers. Then, over the next couple seasons, a new crop of soon-to-be superstars entered the league: Charles Barkley, Hakeem Olajuwon, John Stockton, Karl Malone, Michael Jordan, and Patrick Ewing to name a few. Further sweetening the pot was the fact that the Celtics and Lakers met in the Finals again in '85 and '87. By the time Jordan's popularity took off in the late '80s, the league was suddenly speeding headlong toward globalization.

It sure seems like Stern was the beneficiary of being in the right place at the right time. Or was he? In retrospect, the good times clearly started with the '84 Finals, which was the ignition point of the Bird/Magic Era. I was recently rewatching Game 7 of that series -- one of the best championship matchups of all time, by the way -- and I was surprised to hear Tommy Heinsohn say, "By challenging the commissioner, I think [Bird] was trying to get the refs on his side." Dick Stockton followed that cryptic statement with the following explanation: "You heard Commissioner Stern...hearsay that someone heard David Stern say that the league wanted a seven-game series, and of course Larry Bird went to town with it." [You can listen to it here; the comments start around the 2:35 mark.]

Eh? I was intrigued. Unfortunately, a simple Google search failed me, so I started poking around The Boston Globe's online archives*. On June 11, 1984, the Globe ran an article written by Dan Shaughnessy called Bird: NBA Wanted 7. After the Celtics lost Game 6, Larry Legend was pissed, but not at the Lakers or his teammates. He was steamed at the Commish.

"Stern told a fan that the NBA needed a seven-game series, that the league needed the money. When the commissioner makes a statement like that to a fan, you know it's going to be tough. When Stern makes a statement like that, things are going to happen. You just don't make statements like that and not expect anything out of it. He's the commissioner and he shouldn't be saying anything like that. The NBA wanted a seventh game because they wanted to make more money and they got their wish. There is no reason for me to lie. He said it. He's a man and he'll live up to it. He may say he said it in jest. But I'm out there trying to make a living and win a championship."

Those were some pretty strong words from Bird**. Was there any validity to the claim? It's hard to say, since Game 6 is the only game of that series I haven't seen. But I can tell you this: The Celtics were in control for most of the game, leading by four after one quarter, by six at halftime, and by 11 with 3:59 left in the third quarter. But then things turned around in a hurry, as the Lakers outscored the Celtics 46-24 the rest of the way, enjoying a 35-17 advantage*** at the line and winning 119-108 despite Bird's 28/14/8. [This information comes from the Boston Celtics 1984 Championship Official Souvenir Book.]

On June 12, 1984, the Globe ran another Shaughnessy article called Riley: Script Is Written For Lakers' Victory. It's mostly a bunch of hippe talk**** from Pat Riley, but it does give a brief follow-up to Bird's anti-Stern comments.

According to Shaughnessy: "NBA commissioner David Stern chose not to issue any statement in response to Larry Bird's charge Sunday that Stern wanted a seventh game because the league needed the money. Stern's office said the commissioner was 'unreachable,' and no one there knew his exact whereabouts. However, NBA spokesman Brian McIntyre spoke with Stern. 'David said Bird's comment is ridiculous. Like every fan in America, he has been looking forward to a seventh game. It's a dream matchup, and everybody has wanted to see a seven-game series since Day 1.'"

It's interesting that Stern chose not to confront Bird's comments head on (and what's up with the "no one knows his exact whereabouts" stuff...what, was he on Air Force 1?). It's even more interesting that he didn't fine Bird or the Celtics; these days, those comments would be worth 100K or more in fines. It wasn't at all surprising, however, that Stern dismissed Bird's claims as "ridiculous," since that's his buzz word of choice whenever any kind of criticism is leveled against him.

Was there a conspiracy? Did Stern have a little chat with the refs before Game 6 about the league's need for a seventh game? We'll never know for sure. But it is, nonetheless, a fascinating piece of historical trivia that Stern never had even a single year as NBA Commissioner without at least one officiating controversy.

* The Boston Globe charges $2.95 per archived article. That seems a little steep to me.

** Of course, this is the same guy who called his own teammates "a bunch of sissies" after the Celtics got blown out in Game 3. Then, when asked if his team had played any better in their Game 4 comeback victory, Bird said, "Yeah, we just played like a bunch of women tonight." Yikes.

*** Did the C's get a few makeup calls in Game 7? Maybe, maybe not. But they had a 51-28 freethrow advantage in that final game.

**** Going into Game 7, Riley guaranteed the Lakers would win. "It's destiny. I believe in the Fates, and I think it's our time. I think the script is written for us to win." This is the kind of motivational crap that Riley's famous (and infamous) for. It sounds brilliant when he's right, and idiotic when he's wrong. In this case, it was the latter for Riley, since the Lakers lost the game 111-102.

Labels: Boston Celtics, conspiracy theories, David Stern, fake Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA Finals, Tommy Heinsohn

Portland, Seattle and Atlanta all coming out on top of the 2007 Draft Lottery was a far more unlikely outcome than anything the Orlando Magic pulled off in 1993. Going in, you knew one of the mid-level teams had a decent chance of sneaking into the top three. But the chances that Memphis, Boston and Milwaukee -- all three of the worst teams in the league -- would all be pushed out of the top three were almost nil. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but they were still pretty damn low.

Labels: conspiracy theories, NBA Draft