Three Kings
The official 2008-09 Sacramento Kings defeat stock photo.

Thanks to Dan B. for sending in the pic.

Mindless violence: By now, most of you already know what happened to Carl Landry, but here's a quick recap in case you don't: Landry's car was sideswiped and then struck by another car. When Carl got out to inspect the damage, two men confronted him and one of them shot at him. Twice. Fortunately, he was only grazed on the left calf -- 'tis but a flesh wound! -- and so he should only miss one to three weeks of action. Look, I get the whole road rage thing. As a Chicago driver, I can't tell you how many times I've fantasized about shooting (or hanging, or electrocuting, or dropping a giant anvil on) some dude or dudette that just cut me off, but that's where it ends: In fantasy. By the way, quick quiz: Biggest douchebags on the road, BMW drivers or Mercedes drivers? Discuss.

The Sacramento Kings: After three straight near misses against the Thunder (99-98), Crabs (126-123) and Wizards Generals (106-104), Sacramento reverted to form and lost by 22 in Atlanta. Using a hybrid defensive style based on the systems employed by Doug Moe, Paul Westhead, Don Nelson and Mike D'Antoni, the Kings managed to give up 119 points on nearly 56 percent shooting. If the Hawks hadn't gotten a little careless with the ball -- they committed 19 turnovers for 29 points going the other way -- the Sactowners might have lost by 40. The defeat dropped them to 0-27 against Eastern Conference teams and 4-30 on the road this season. Said Kevin Martin: "We stopped playing together tonight, and this is happens when you play selfish basketball."

More telling, though, was this quote from Josh Smith: "We didn't want to lose to a team like Sacramento. No offense to them, but (after) beating New Orleans and Utah, teams who are on top of the Western Conference, we didn't want to let ourselves down by losing this game." Ouch.

Joe Johnson: Considering how ridiculously hot the Hawks were last night -- not to mention the fact that they were playing a patsy -- it's hard to fathom how Joe Cool shot 8-for-21 and finished with more turnovers (6) than rebounds (4) or assists (5). Maybe he didn't get a hug before the game.

Home cookin': Okay, so the Magic-Crabs game was pretty awesome and pretty intense. Too bad some lousy officiating spoiled the ending. LeBron had just put the Crabs up 95-93 with a clutch three-pointer -- in front of the Orlando bench, no less -- but the Magic were denied a chance to tie it up when Dwight Howard was called for...a three-second violation. Cleveland ball with 30 seconds left on the clock. Still, not all hope was lost for the Magic, assuming they could get a defensive stop. Of course, they did not: James was "fouled" while shooting by Courtney Lee. King Crab calmly sunk the two freebies, which pretty much sealed the deal.

And, of course, you just KNEW that Stan Van Gundy was going to have something to say about that three-second call after the game: "You won't see that call again. That, I guarantee you. You will not see, with the game on the line, a three-second call in the last 10 seconds. That's part of the reason they're 30-1 at home. They're a very good team, and when you get calls like that (expletive), you're in pretty good shape." Hey, that call was made in the last 30 seconds, not the last 10, Stan. See, this is why I hate frontrunners...

All kidding aside, Superman also spoke out against the black-and-white striped Kryptonite: "I was very surprised. I was in the lane and I got out. It seemed like their bench or their coaching staff got into the ref's ear about me being in the lane. Instead of letting the refs make the call, I guess the bench made the call."

Rashard Lewis: You know, despite those calls, the Magic had a really solid chance to steal this game. Sadly, Lewis boned it for them. He was second on the team in shot attempts but went 3-for-15, including 0-for-8 from downtown. And lest you think that he had "a" bad game, here's a quote from Ben Q. Rock of the Third Quarter Collapse: "In the last week (four games), he's shot 11-of-46 from the field, including 3-of-27 from three-point range, with all 3 of those makes coming in the same game. He picked the wrong time to enter a shooting slump, because with a normal Lewis, Orlando probably wins this game." Live by the three, die by the three.

Here's a little extra puzzlement from Basketbawful reader CP3 for MVP: "I was just looking at the Magic-Cavs box score in which the Cavs won 97-93. On the Magic's side, Dwight Howard took the least shots out of all the starters with 8. He made 5 of them. Rashard Lewis took 15 shots, almost double what Dwight took, and made 3 (!). Surely you'd go to the arguably best big man in the game a bit more often. The Cavs on the other hand were quite comfortable on their superstars shoulders, as he led the team in minutes, field goal attempts and makes, 3pt makes, free throw makes and attempts, rebounds, assists, turnovers, steals, blocks and points."

The Boston M.A.S.H. Unit: The Celtics were already missing Kevin Garnett, Glen "Big Baby" Davis, Tony Allen and Brian Scalabrine. Then they lost Leon Powe (who played only four minutes) after he bruised his right knee in a collision with Ben Gordon. That's five guys missing from the regular rotation, one of whom is the team's defensive lynchpin. Oh, and Ray Allen hyper-extended his right elbow and Rajon Rondo aggravated his ankle injury. Other than that, the Celtics are the picture of health. So in that light -- or should I say growing darkness -- it's not too surprising that Boston's defense utterly collapsed against the Bulls. Chicago scored 127 points, which is the most given up by the Celtics this season, while shooting 53 percent from the field. John Salmons matched his career-high by scoring 38 on 14-for-20 shooting. And down the stretch, the Bulls got a key offensive rebound (by Brad Miller), a reverse slam (by Salmons), and four layups (by Miller, Salmons and Derrick Rose). That's what typically happens to depleted teams in end-game situations...but that doesn't make it any less bawful.

Doc Rivers: Getting bounced in the last 30 seconds probably didn't help his team. But it wasn't Doc's fault. He was baited into getting tossed. Just ask him: "[Bill Kennedy] stood there and goaded me and goaded me and goaded me and stared at me. Look at the film. I actually walked away. He asked me, 'Where do you want the ball?' And I said, 'Ask them,' talking about our players. That's my right to say that, and I walked away. He stood there and stared me down and stared me down and goaded me until I turned around and said, 'What?' That's when I got thrown out of the game." Yeah, uh, Doc, I watched the game and it kinda sorta looked like there was a lot more talking going on than that. But I'm sure you were complimenting Bill on his shoes or something.

Bill Walker: From Basketbawful reader Mark L: "I was at the Bulls/Celtics game tonight. This seems WotN worthy. Upon entering the game with about 4 minutes left in the 1st quarter, Bill Walker promptly picked up three fouls. Bill goes bye-bye for the rest of the half. He came back in the game with about the same amount of time remaining in the 3rd quarter. He goes ahead and picks up another foul within 20 seconds of entering the game. (He shoulderblocked Brad Miller, then pulled back with the expression of "Oh shit, don't call that please!" all over his face) About a minute after foul numero 4, Bill picks up a technical. How, you may ask? After the whistle blew on a foul, good ol' Billy took it upon himself to try to posterize Brad Miller." Bill's basketball IQ is off the charts. But that's only because the charts don't go low enough to measure it.

The Dallas Mavericks: Richard Hamilton ("aggravated groin problem"), Rasheed Wallace (calf) and Allen Iverson (back) were all out of action. So it's not surprising that Detroit entered the fourth quarter down by 16. The Pistons then outscored the Mavs 37-23 in the final period and nearly stole the game. And this happened in Dallas, by the way. But Dirk Nowitzki was all "What me worry?" after the game: "Hey, stuff happens in this league. We'll take the wins as we can get them." And see, THAT'S the attitude that keeps Dirk from taking over the league. That general sense of This-is-good-enough-ness that just oozes out of him...and the rest of the team, for that matter. Which is why I just don't feel good about the Maverick's chances in the playoffs.

Some other numbers: Dallas outshot Detroit 56.7 percent to 42.4. So why'd they almost allow a monumental comeback? The Pistons crashed the boards for 17 offensive rebounds. It's a little thing we like to call effort.

Me: That Kevin Love sure is tearing sh*t up. He had 17 points (7-for-11) and 19 rebounds against the Spurs last night. You know, I might have been wrong about this guy...

The Washington Wizards Generals: Take a gander at these postgame comments from the Jazz. Deron Williams: "I don't think it was our best effort." Kyle Korver: "I didn't think we played particularly well tonight." Carlos Boozer: "It wasn't the prettiest game. It was a little ugly." Jerry Sloan: "That's one of the things you always have to be concerned about is are the playoffs important enough for you to go after it? We can talk about it all we want, but sometimes our effort doesn't look like that." And mind you, this was after a game in which they held the Wizards Generals to 35 percent shooting, forced 18 turnovers and won by 15. That's how bad Washington is: It feels like an abject failure when a team doesn't beat them by at least 20.

The Los Angeles Lakers: They outshot, outrebounded and out-assisted the Sixers. They just didn't outscore them. Philly overcame a 14-point fourth-quarter deficit and Andre Iguodala hit a three-point bomb at the buzzer to steal the Lakers' lunch money.

Okay, technically, Iggy had a hand in his face. But did that look like the kind of intense, game-on-the-line defense you'd expect from a championship contender? And, uh, did I mention that the Lakers had a foul to give? Said Phil Jackson: "I don't know if Trevor fully understood when I said we had a foul to use, because he did not use it. We don't like to use a foul, especially when they catch and shoot. But when you handle the ball -- and he took his time -- then it's time to use it." Whoopsie. Let's not forget, also, that L.A. let Donyell Marshall's corpse come in and nail three critical three-pointers in Philly's fouth-quarter comeback. Oh, and this was a home game for the Lakers. I'm just sayin'.

Kobe Byant: Mamba scored only 11 points and was limited to only 32 minutes of PT due to foul trouble. His other numbers: 5-for-15 from the field, 5 boards, 5 assists, 5 turnovers, 4 fouls and 3 blocked shots against. Random note: Kobe has missed 10 or more shots in 12 of the Lakers' 14 losses.

The Los Angeles Clippers: Let me get this straight. Baron Davis, Marcus Camby, Chris Kaman and Zach Randolph are finally all available...and the Clippers are still who we thought they were? Shocking. I could give you some analysis, but let's just say they played like crap and lost, okay? Here's your official postgame quote from Mike Dumbleavy: "A big game from Monta Ellis and I thought their bench killed us. They shot the ball really well; that's what they do. We didn't make them play defense on enough possessions." My favorite part of that quote is the "we didn't make them play defense on enough possessions" part. That's pretty hard to believe when a team attempts 97 shots and 36 free throws. But it's also totally true.

Lacktion report: No McDonald's commercial quotes this time. Just Chris and his continuing brilliant lacktion coverage.

Kings-Hawks: Thomas Gardner tended to his arboretum of awful stats tonight with a downtown-brick suck differential of +1 in 1:44 for Atlanta.

Magic-Cavs: After a recent slump away from his All-Lacktion form, Tarence Kinsey seems to have sharpened his pincers again, at least by ESPN's understanding (which credits him with a Mario of indeterminate length). Yahoo however doesn't seem to think that this seafood-themed non-contribution ever of the few times that a boxscore discrepancy has ESPN showing generosity in the name of lacktators everywhere.

Pistons-Mavs: Amir Johnson fouled twice for a +2 in 1:26.

Wizards-Jazz: Ronnie Price was charged with +3 via two giveaways and a foul in 3:18.

Bulls-Celtics: Gabe Pruitt and JR Giddens are fast becoming the lacktion duo for other negative stat chasers to hunt down, as the pair pressed the on button on a sluggish R.O.B. for an eight second stint as Super Mario Brothers! (Oh, and in a sign that the C's were not playing at their best, former trillionaire champion John Salmons was the leading scorer for Chicago. No, really.)

Sixers-Lakers: Theo Ratliff's block in his 4:21 denied him a suck differential, but not a 2:0 Voskuhl after fouls. Meanwhile, DJ Mbenga threw a right hook at a piggybank filled with 1.75 trillion in currency.
Adam Waddell: This is why white guys shouldn't dunk:

Thanks to Evil Ted for the link.

Devin Harris: Only the New Jersey Nets could NOT play but STILL lose big. (Okay, I suppose the Clippers could probably do it too.) It looks as though Harris will be sidelined indefinitely with a sprained left shoulder and strained deltoid muscle. Mind you, the Nets are currently 12th in the East and their playoff odds are looking grim. (A 2.7 percent chance of making the postseason is bad, right?) And Devin, as I like to remind everybody, is the guy who said "We knew we were going to be a playoff team" less than 20 games into the season. Now he won't even be around to try and make it happen. This may very well be one of the most damning stat curses I've seen in recent years.

The anti-Twitter sentiment: From Basketbawful reader dunkside: "Can I get a mention on the WotN for all those criticizing Charlie Villanueva for twittering? I mean is that different from speaking to a teammate about no matter what or taking a piss? He took 2 freakin' minutes to text a message. It's not like he wasn't listening to coach Skiles. He did listen and he also ACTED on what he was being told. He took it upon himself to play better in the second half. He said 'I gotta step up' and he actually did it. And his team won. If I was Skiles, I'd tell him to twitter things like 'I'm gonna pull down 20 boards tonight' or 'I'll block 10 shots' before every game. Whatever gets him motivated. Don't you wish McGrady would have twittered 'I'll get to the 2nd round and not piss my talent away' about 5-6 years ago?"

I more or less agree with you, dunkside, but I also see the larger picture. Charlie used it as motivation. But I'm guessing that if halftime twittering caught on, not just on the Bucks or around the league, there would be lots of guys just screwing around and wasting time/losing focus/whatever. So Skiles had to make an example of Charlie to keep things from potentially getting out of hand. I've read countless stories about players making phone calls or sending texts when they're supposed to be practicing or listening or what have you. Coaches try to cut that stuff out, because most of the time it's a distraction, both for the players and his teammates. The only thing

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Blogger Cortez said...
"You will not see, with the game on the line, a three-second call in the last 10 seconds."

Ah, yes. Just what the game needs. More selective rule enforcement!

How about telling your dumb-ass center to be aware of his position on the court and the time allowed in certain areas on the court.

Or how about having said center develop an credible jumpshot so that he isn't automatically compelled to camp out in the 3 second area.

It's a crying shame that a professional basketball player shoots the ball like it's a god-damned lead boulder.

Less weight lifting, more skill development.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Now I'm REALLY officially an author of BasketBawful. My idea was stolen, and made even lamer!

Steve Nash as Luke from some lame blog.

And just how desperate is the situation for Suns fans now:

Mavricks Fail Campaign.

Yes, I looked at the logo about 4 times before I finally got the joke.

Blogger Cortez said...
"You know, I might have been wrong about this guy [Kevin Love]..."

Trust me, you were right.

I remember LaBradford Smith scored 30+ on Jordan.

Who is LaBradford Smith you may ask?


Blogger XForce23 said...
About the BMW/Mercedes question: Neither. Winner is clearly the moms in the giant SUVs, by a landslide.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
No (man) love for Gerald Green? He's was credited with 1 second of playing time last night, but the Mavs shoved him into the court when there were 0.9 seconds left to end the half. Surely a a [Mario < 1] of this magnitude deserves a mention.

As for Kevin Love? He's strong, slow, groundbound and undersized. He is a gifted rebounder but his shooting touch is erratic and is far too slow in the post for someone with his lack of size. He will only get better and should be a 16-11 type of guy in the league, but he still plays the exact same position as Minnesota´s franchise cornerstone. He'd be a perfect complement to Al Jefferson at 7 feet but at 6´8 he's redundant.

Blogger Michael Hsu said...
Mercedes driver hands down. It's no contest. There are so many BMWs in South Cal, that if you play the averages some of them have to be non douches. However, that can not be said about Mercedes drivers.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Today's post was cut short at the end.

The problem isn't the refs calling 3-second violations at the end of games, is it? Rules are rules, right? The problem is the rules are dumb and no one likes them. Then you add in selective enforcement and you want to strangle a cute animal.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I respectfully disagree with your assessment of K-Love. He has that Dennis-Rodman like ability to simply BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE for the rebound.

I'm not saying he can jump like Roddy, and I'm not saying he can sport the wedding dress or date Madonna (although he may be in-line for that... who knows), but the guy seems to know where the ball is going to go and he gets there.

So, maybe he won't be Hakeem, or even Ewing, or even Rik Smits, but he may be the next Rony Seikally, and you HAVE heard of him! (I probably spelled his name wrong, but oh well)

Blogger Cortez said...
"...but he may be the next Rony Seikally."

Only in his dreams.

...or on a really bad team where he could also blackmail his coach into making him a top 3 offensive option.

With an unagile 6'8" frame he'll NEVER have the physically ability to score and rebound like R.S. night to night.

The best he can hop to be is a good rebounding tool on a good team. Similar to a Tyson Chandler.

With that said, I actually like Love. In my mind...

Great basketball players who happen to be great athletes > Great athletes who happen to play basketball.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
That white guy doing the backflip is my hero. Pull that one out in a dunk comp and you'll win for sure.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

keep in mind love is putting these numbers up as a rookie. hes only gonna get better

Blogger Raf said...
"Chicago scored 127 points, which is the most given up by the Celtics this season, while shooting 53 percent from the field."

Didn't they also score a season high against Orlando too?

I'm just saying, those are two things you hang on your fridge.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The ending of the Lakers/Philly game was embarrassing- exactly what is wrong with the NBA clutch time: both shots were just dribbling around the perimeter and jacking up a low-percentage contested three. Hey, but at least Iggy confirmed that it's HIS team! (You mentioned that Kobe was shooting blanks all night, but Iggy had missed all 7 of his previous 3-point attempts that night...)
Is "clutch" just a period of time in the game where you hope bad shots go in and referees don't make any calls?

Blogger Raf said...
"Chicago scored 127 points, which is the most given up by the Celtics this season, while shooting 53 percent from the field."

I could be wrong but didn't the Bulls also score the season high against the Magic?

I'm just saying, that's something to display on the Chicago player fridge.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Your comment about "white guys shouldn't dunk"... you know, just because you happen to be white (and admittedly can't dunk) doesn't mean you get to stereotype the rest of the white people on this planet. Are you saying that Brent Barry shouldn't have ever dunked?

Comments like that are analogous to statements like:

-Black people shouldn't swim

-Asian people shouldn't play sports

-Latinos shouldn't play basketball

And other ridiculous statements of non-fact. But like most white people, you feel it only necessary to insult other white people. I haven't heard you attribute Yao's getting stuffed by the rim to his being Asian. That would be RACIST!! (GASP!!)

But it's cool to beat on this guy (who made the steal in the open court and the dunk- a hell of a play I don't care what color he is) because he's white and therefore shouldn't attempt a dunk?

Hmm. I thought you were better than that. I'll be impressed if you even let this post on your comments section.

Blogger chris said...
hellshocked: Wow, I didn't see THAT Super Mario listed on the Yahoo or ESPN boxscores. Hmm. We might need photographic proof!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
It's ok, guys, let me take this one.

- Internet tough guy smug words and passive-aggressive challenge? Check.
- Plentiful incorrect arguments? Check.
- Being offended? Check.

Congratulations, Anonymous, you are a generic stupid person on the Internet! And you are also white.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
White people shouldn't post.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"And you are also white"

BURN!!! :D

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Can't believe Yahoo is trying to rob Tarence Kinsey of his Mario! He did indeed play a whole 0.9 seconds at the end of the first quarter. I have to wonder if he's set a record for fastest fall from starter to sub-1 seconds of playing time.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Is the Marbury Effect in full effect? I know he can't be directly to blame for all of the injuries and bad luck on the Celtics but... oh wait... but isn't that just what the Marbury Effect is? Supernatural ability to destroy teams, even without any rhyme or reason aside from his mere presence?

Blogger Cortez said...
"keep in mind love is putting these numbers up as a rookie. hes only gonna get better"

He's only going to get better.

...unless he has just about reached the maximum of his physical abilities.

I'm going with the latter.

"It's ok, guys, let me take this one."

Thanks. That was one hell of a rant to what was clearly a joke.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
About Love, and rebounders in general. Rebounding is 90% mindset and hustle. You can bust your ass and it won't necessarily make you a better shooter, or ball controller, or anything else, but rebounders (and defenders - note how many of them are good at both ends) are good because they are ALWAYS looking for the damn rebound.

Once they find it, they remember the rest:
1) Box out
2) Get your arms (elbows) up over the other guy's arms
3) Never stop going after the ball

The Round Mound of Rebound was an athlete, but how did a 6'5" guy get so many rebounds? Pure effort and ass. Lots of phat ass that he pushed into other players junk to move them out of the way.

Love has that mindset - go for the ball. Every time. And I totally dig that. I hope it's consistent, and that he improves his offensive game in the post. I want to find another really good post player before I die (say what you will about McHale the GM/coach/ruiner of dreams, I think he's still the best post player of all time, just barely ahead of Olajewon).

Blogger chris said...
Jen: Well, him being a starter was anomalous to begin with...he has sharpened those pincers much of the season to poke out small segments of time like none other. A year or two more of this and he will be one of the all-time greatest lacktators ever.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
BadDave: +1

Where have all the good young post players gone? I can't even name one... (/sad face)

Everyone with a post game is over 30 or retired or both.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wally World is out for 3 weeks minimum! Does this spell utter disaster for the Cavs?? I think it might!!!

How about Troy Murphey...He is sporting a bad ass post up game. Or Dirk. I think Dirk really set the tone for this transition as his style was so unconventional at the time...or you can blame AI...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Photographic evidence of Gerald Green's Mario. Unfortunately I don't have a screencap of the clock at 0.9 when he was shoved in there (and I stress the term shoved in there because the guy was smiling sheepishly and through my sleep-haze looked positively embarrassed)but a Mario is a Mario.

Yes, rebounding is mainly about desire which is why Kevin Love excells at it, but the reason the worm is probably the best ever is because he never ever stopped moving. He not only had a knack for knowing where the ball was going, but he was athletic enough to get there ahead of time, through or around traffic. Kevin Love isn't fast enough or quick enough off his feet to be the next Rodman, but he can be a Paul Silas type.

I'm not sure his post game will ever be more than serviceable and sporadic because of his lack of length and athleticism, however.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Btw, Al Jefferson is a very good young post player. Probably the only one.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Zonker... you were joking right? Troy Murphy COULD have a post-up game, and so COULD Dirk (and he shows flashes on occasion), but they're both in love with the jumpshot and so will never be as good as Ewing or Smits.... or even Barkley... or Gary Payton....

Blogger chris said...
Hellshocked: Thanks! What site is that from? I guess I'll have to add it to my daily checks of Yahoo and ESPN as a verification source...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
was this post left unfinished or did i miss something ?

"Coaches try to cut that stuff out, because most of the time it's a distraction, both for the players and his teammates. The only thing"

i'm kinda surprised no one noticed it yet, but i guess nobody managed to read to the end. short attention span much ? (although i think i lost them at "short")

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I knew I forgot something. In the kings vs bobcats game all 5 of the kings blocks came against gerald wallace. And they came from 4 different kings players. I wonder if it ever happened before that a team has at least 5 blk by at least 3 different players and they are all against the same player. It's like a block gangbang or something.

Don't get me wrong, I do like gerald wallace's game, but i found this funny (as in kinda weird), especially since he's pretty athletic so he should be harder to block than, say, adam morrisson's shot.

As a sidenote i noticed that tyrus thomas also gets quite a lot of his shots blocked, as does dwight howard and the same goes for other athletic players. Could it be that because they are so athletic they attempt more acrobatic/difficult shots thus putting themselves more often in the position to get their shots blocked ?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The white dude dunk WASN'T from a Dunk Competition? I thought it was coz he clearly stopped dribbling BEFORE the 3 point line

Rich Muhlach

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Chris: No problem. It's from the official NBA website (

Blogger Rubes said...
So I know it is easy to pick on the Griz. I fully expect them to be on the site each and every day. However they do not belong on your Wotn list for blowing a 10 pt lead at home to denver. They played great and deserved the win, but the 4th quarter was decided by the refs. The best example is at the 2:06 mark when Balkman bear hugs Gasol. Foul? Haha of course not, it's a jump ball. Hopefully you can get video evidence.

Blogger Andy said...
Thought I'd highlight this bit from the Wizards - Clippers sucktacular (which I'm privileged enough to get on CSN):

3rd quarter, Andray Blatche is dribbling right side just past the half court line and goes behind his back, faking his defender big time. However, he proceeds to bumble his dribble around for a few seconds before throwing a lazy, crosscourt, underhand pass which is easily intercepted. Clippers going the other way throw an alley-oop to Eric Gordon, who lets it slip harmlessly between his fingers for another turnover.

The Clippers also get an extra dose of suck for letting Antawn Jamison look like Magic Johnson out there in the first quarter, throwing a no-look pass and getting 4 assists (he averages 1.9 on the year). The Wizards also look like they're afraid getting anywhere near Steve Novak, who has at least 6 threes so far, only one of which I've seen contested in any way.

Blogger Drake said...
Hubie Brown can't seem to stay away from unintentionally-dirty quotes. From last night's Rockets-Pistons game:

"...he SPLITS it, and shoots it right in Scola's face"

- talking about a replay of Rodney Stuckey's drive to the hoop during overtime, but may very well be talking about a climatic scene in some gay porno

Hubie also had another gem in double overtime which I can't remember that well. It went something like "he scored in his defender's face".

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
Andrew Bynum isn't at Jefferson's postup skill level yet, but he's getting there and he's over three inches taller with longer arms. Pau is also a pretty damn good postup player, and he's only about 27 years old.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Regarding Kevin Love: people in the advanced stats communities are fogging their computer monitors over Love's absurd rebounding rate. Why is it called rebounding rate when it should be called rebounding percentage? I dunno. But if you make a list of players who have ever had what he's doing right now his name sticks out like a sore thumb.

Nonny troll: Dude, us white people love making fun of other white people for how white they are. It's funny because we rule the world and subjugate other peoples. Well, for now anyway. Check back in a couple years.

dunkside: I mentioned it in my post up there. I guess you didn't read everything? Oh snap!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think Tyrus Thomas and Dwight Howard (and you can add Greg Oden and Emeka Okafor to the list) get their shots blocked so often despite being so big and athletic because of how mechanical their offense is. They´re slow, ackward post players which minimizes their athletic gifts. They don't really have secondary moves when their go-to is taken away, so if a good shotblocker is able to withstand the initial shoulder-into-chest impact they just have to time their jump in order to stuff them since they know exactly what's coming.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Zonker - look, Murphy's not bad in the post, but I'm talking about a really good post up player. Someone that can do all of the following:

1) Get position consistently
2) Catch tough feeds
3) Do any 4 of the following moves: the baby hook with either hand, the scoop, the turnaround, the up-and-under, jam it from 4 feet out, the dream shake, the spin-around, the drop step, and pass it when triple-teamed or more.
4) Rebound on both ends
5) Master the tip-in
6) Shoot a 10-12 foot jumper
7) Shoot at least 75% FT

Those things make for a real post player. Nowadays I just see a hook with the dominant hand or a turnaround. BORING. And ineffective, unless you happen to be the.00001% of athletes that can consistently bang a turnaround with a hand in the face. And frankly, even those folks aren't as efficient as post players.

Go watch some vintage video of these people (just to name a short few): Kevin McHale, Hakeem Olajewon, Charles Barkely, Karl Malone (early stages), Lew Alcindor Jr., Elgin Baylor, Moses Malone, The Admiral, Charles Barkley, Bill Walton, Bird, and Magic.

All of those guys had could meet my requirements. Oh, I should probably add for requirement 7) do all of the above without traveling. :)

There isn't one player in the league now that can do all of that except MAYBE Duncan. And he just doesn't much anymore.

Blogger Junior said...
After the complaining from Van Gundy, the refs let a goaltending from Howard become a ego-ectomy that Sessions will never forget

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Al Jefferson fulfills all your criteria there, BadDave. Despite his limitations (can't pass out of double teams, can't play a lick of defense) the guy is a complete throwback in the post.

Some of the players you mentioned afterwards, like Olajuwon, Barkley and David Robinson, don't meet all of your requirements though. They're phenomenal players and I'm not questioning their skill level at all, but their offense consisted mainly of them facing up, not posting up.

Hell even Karl Malone couldn't perform 4 of those moves you mentioned. Not to the letter.

BadDave: I picked Troy because we were discussing here several day's ago who he took and made only shots from the 3 point line. That's his thing as most 5 and 4 rarely go out to play D that far from the basket (which Dirk has exploited so well at least early in his NBA career and what some people expected Darko Milic to do).

I would add two more players to your list: Gary Payton (although he was playing PG and probably doesn't cover all 7 points and Webber (back in his Kings days).

Regarding your comment about the current NBA post-up players: yeah, we saw what happened to Jermaine O'Neal ...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ stephanie g
you have my apologies, fair lady.

and my comment about short attention spans was tongue in cheek. i couldn't care less if others read the entire post or not since it's their time and their choice.

reagarding rebounding rate/percentage:

rate = a certain quantity or amount of one thing considered in relation to a unit of another thing and used as a standard or measure

AFAIK rebounding rate generally refers to rebounds/minute while rebounding percentage refers to rebounds grabbed by the player divided by total available rebounds (while the player was on the floor, obviously)

rebounding percentage is usually a better measure of rebounding prowess because it's not influenced by things like pace of play or teammates and opponents % percentages. for example i'd argue it would be easier to grab more rebounds while playing with or against the knicks or suns or warriors or any other fast paced team that jacks up shots than with or against the spurs, cavs, blazers or hornets, teams who walk up the ball and usually try to take only good shots.

PS: word verification: RATED. as bill simmons would say, i'm not even making this up.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Hellshocked - fair enough. He can, but just doesn't quite compare to that list so far. Jefferson is probably getting a lot of mentoring from Frankenhale.

I declare shenanigans on the claims for Malone, Hakeem and the Admiral. (Barkely - ok, but he was just bad ass). Karl could do a turnaround, the spin-and-scoop, the up-and-under and the jam. Hakeem could do just about all of those moves, though I should declare that it's Hakeem in his prime. So could Robinson - I remember in college watching a game with Bawful in our room and Drob was just a post arsenal. I wish I could remember that exact game.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wasn't trying to say Jefferson is as good a player as anyone on that list, clearly he isn't and won't be until he starts making his team mates better. He just has a genuine post game, probably the only young player in the league I could say that about. I'm one of the 2 people (Herman Munster being the other) who don't think the Garnett trade was as one-sidedly disastrous as it has been made out to be. Minnesota got a 20-10 guy (only 5 or 6 of those in the league) who relies on skill rather than elite athleticism to get his points, which means he'll be 20-10 for the next 15 years. If they weren't so incompetent at drafting they'd already be an ok, scrappy squad with a future.

I'm a bit of a young'in, and started watching NBA basketball relatively recently (compared to you guys), but from what I saw of Hakeem (my favorite center, btw) his entire game was based on his ability to drive and hit the midrange jumper. Even when he caught the ball in the post he usually faced his man up and drove which set up his amazing dream-shake. His skill level and agility is off the charts, but I never considered him a grind-it-out type of post player. Same for the Admiral and the Mailman, to lesser extents. I'm not knocking them as players, I just don't think they were prototypical post-men.