Basketbawful reader Jesse provided a nice little follow-up to the Duncan face post. The following video proves that the Duncan face is, in fact, a contagious disease...and all the Spurs have it. Hmm. It might be time to quarantine the greater San Antonio area before this thing spreads.

And just to prove I'm a good sport -- and an equal-opportunity cynic -- here are a few Duncan face copycats:

1. The "Gah! A giant spider is eating Shaq!" face. Because that foul was pretty freaking blatant, and now I have to watch a mutant insect crush Shaq in its enormous mandibles. [Also from Jesse.]

Nash face

2. The "Don't you know who I am?!" face. Because I'm LeBron James, bitch! [From Shrugz.]

LeBron face

3. The "Du verdammter Arschficker! Ich bin ein Berliner!" face. Because I really am a jelly doughnut, complete with a thin, doughy outside and a thick, gooey inside. [From anne.]

Dirk face

The rest of these are from The Spurs Report:

4. The Sheed face. Because he was doing it long before Duncan was. And that's Guaran-sheed.

Sheed face

5. The "I've grown a second, evil head!" face. Because oh my God, IT'S ALIVE!! (And it looks just like Kevin Garnett. Huh. That's pretty weird.)

Second head face

6. The "Ray-Ray don't play that!" face. Because he really doesn't play that. Never. Not even once.

Ray Ray face

7. The "I'm gonna rip the eyes out of your head and piss into your dead skull! You f***ed with the wrong Marine!" face. Because Popovich can be kinda scary.


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Blogger m. Alana said...
I lol'ed.

God, I can't wait for Coach Sheed.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
he'll get more technicals than all his players combined LOL

Blogger Tonewise said...
these photos are wkkd.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blogger stephanie g said...
This is a treasure trove of excellence.

"God, I can't wait for Coach Sheed."

I've seen people joke about it here and there and it's funny to think about how long he could actually remain in a game before being tossed or what sort of inspirational half time speeches he would give there any actual hint that he would even be interested in coaching? Or is it just a joke? Like imagining Reggie Miller as a color commentator or Charles Barkley as mayor or Arnold Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dirk isn't really a Berliner... he's a Wurzburger... with tripple cheese...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
speaking of the spurs and how "classy" they are, i really hope you watched game 2. towards the end there was one play where barbosa stripped the ball from ginobili and the ball went out off manu's foot. leaving aside manu's incredulous face, on a second replay from behind the suns's basket showed manu's move in slow motion.

while barbosa was cleanly stripping the ball from his hands, manu was already going into a flopping motion: his body was getting twisted looking sort of like the hunchback, his face was grimacing as if he was suffering unthinkable pain, had his eyes closed and limbs in an awkward position.

mind you, this was BEFORE any contact was made. manu was obviously getting ready to draw a little contact and exaggerate it in order to draw a foul.

wish i had an youtube video or at least a picture. it was absolutely grotesque and ridiculous. just another proof the spurs are the worst floppers in the nba.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
mr bawful, i´m sure you already know it, if not i think you´re gonna love it..

Blogger David Menéndez said...
Spoken like a true Suns fan, caseta. I wonder what you guys will say if the Suns go on to lose this series: I bet you're going to blame Stern and the referees somehow.

Just for the record, Bawful, some fans are collectively worse Duncan facers than the Master himself.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@pelusa lehein - just check the link on my name and read what i said about the suns - they lost the game themselves.

Now that this is out of the way, you have to be blind or in an advanced state of denial not to see that the Spurs are the biggest floppers in the NBA. Fuckin' Longoria said that Parker flops and that he told her he's laying on the floor a little longer to get the attention of the refs. The stupid bitch basically rated on her husband. So cut the "Suns fan" crap and stop lying to yourself.

The rule should be: when the player with the ball is going towards the basket, either you man up and stand your ground (no foul, offensive or defensive, is called) or jump for the block (if you jump straight up, no foul is called) or just get the fuck out of the way.

Offensive fouls should only be called when the players hit each others (elbows, forearms, knees and so on). Refs should just be careful not to let things escalate, but otherwise there should be entire games without an offensive foul called.


1. stops flopping. no more offensive fouls called, biatches will get out of the way, and "great defenders" such as nocioni, varejao, battier or posey will just be seen as what they are: not really skilled basketball players.

2. reduces the risk of injuries: undercutting a player is a dirty move that the floppers use too often. posey is a master at this.

3. make the game more spectacular by encouraging penetration and allowing athletic players to make use of their abilities. you want dunks, you'll get dunks.
you'll also get blocks, as defenses will have to adapt and try to block more shots instead of just flop and lie flat on their backs hoping the refs will bail them out.

4. reduces the number of interruptions thus making the game a little shorter and more alert.

5. could allow for a little hand-checking and a little more physical defense to compensate somehow and not put defenders at too much of a disadvantage.

6. makes the game more ... manly. and i don't mean that in a macho kind of way, but if i wanted to see a bunch of pussies flopping around, i could have watched the Wnba or the hustler channel.


1. Devin Ratface Harris might be out of the league, cause he's flopping even when he's practicing in a gym all by himself. And since I can't stand him, this could be listed as an advantage.

So you see, you can't go wrong with that. Now all we have to do is kidnap David Stern and force him to implement this rule so we can enjoy the game even more. Who's up for it ?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
garnett about to turn into a werewolf face

tim duncan's "yes, mr stern, timmy been a good boy" face
stern's answer: "then my present to you is the suspension of amare and some other random suns player"

and here's something for your man love theme:

"but their orange headbands hurt my eyes"
(watch felton, he's like "is this guy for real ?")

as for this one, i have no idea what it means, but he just looks goofy:

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I love that last one. Pop could definitely carry a CSI or NCIS like show just because he's such a badass. And how about that beard?