I thought Dwyane Wade was supposed to be a snazzy dresser?
(stephanie g brings us an explanation: "Detective Wade is on the case, starring in a '40s style film noir. Can he find his missing team mates, fend off the Boston mob all the while not succumbing to the mysterious femme fatale? They could call it...actually, The Miami Heat would work surprisingly well.")

Very short on time today. Apologies for the briefness of this post. But at least I have a valid excuse. There is, however, no excuse for this jersey foul.

The past 24 hours have been great for NBA people swearing on live national television. Behold:

Insightful analysis from the TNT crew

You're new to this, aren't you, Lawrence Frank?

(The best part of Frank's foul language escapades this morning? It gives us an excuse to have the Charles Barkley clip in two consecutive posts. It gets funnier each time I watch it, so this has to be a good thing.)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

D-Wade and Q-Rich recreate the scene where Ty Webb puts his arm around Judge Smails near the end of Caddyshack

Does Al Horford have a second job as a pimp? It looks like he's used to keeping bitches in line

Man, Mike Woodson looks pissed

I understand your pain, Scott

Alvin Gentry's response when we asked him if he wanted to watch last night's Heat/Celtics game

All The Games:
Bobcats at Magic - TNT, 7:00pm
Magic lead series 1-0

Dwight Howard and Vince Carter were both up in the middle of the night before Game 1 of this series. They were calling and texting each other, overanxious for the start of the playoffs. Vag Carter says no more late-night chats before games. He laughed and said "I try to sleep some times." During games, obviously.

Spurs at Mavericks - TNT, 9:30pm
Mavericks lead series 1-0

I picked up a milk carton and saw Richard Jefferson, George Hill, Keith Bogans, and Roger Mason's game all on the "Missing" section. (How did they fit all of that on there?) If found, please alert Gregg Popovich. Thanks.

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Blogger stephanie g said...
Whenever I hear Alvin Gentry he sounds like a stereotypical psychologist or counselor. Given his team's fragile ego, that's probably a good thing.

Detective Wade is on the case, starring in a '40s style film noir. Can he find his missing team mates, fend off the Boston mob all the while not succumbing to the mysterious femme fatale? They could call it...actually, The Miami Heat would work surprisingly well.

Blogger Dan B. said...
stephanie g -- The Miami Heat... Nicely done. Post updated to include that. Also realized I forgot to say something about the two Youtube clips I embedded, so that's been added as well.

Blogger Boris Tilov said...
Nice story man, felt like I was there.

Also, Reggie Miller is a perennial douchebag, all the way back to that bullshit flailing he did on his jumpshots. Now he has a belly button tramp-stamp. Fuck him, never did like his game. When Teyshaun blocked him, I went crazy. No one I woulda rather seen in that poster.

His passive aggressive smug crap against Marv doesn't surprise me, and I've been noticing too.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
40' style noir? He looks like a cross between Inspector Gadget and the tablecloth at a cheap Italian restaurant.
In honor of the two clips, they could call his film Why the Fuck Is The Y In The Wrong Place?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Pookie wants none of Q's huggery right now. All I can say is all the Titos on the Miami Heat better thank the Basketball Gods they play with Wade and not Mamba.

Blogger Will said...
The Bobcats have 30 points at the half. It looks the '97-'98 Jazz could have a challenger to their "crown".

Blogger Dan B. said...
That's not in the book -- Inspector Gadget! Good call. That's all I'll think of now whenever I see D-Wade.

Blogger Will said...
I think it's the red trim, but that coat makes me think of a soviet officer. All he needs is one of these to complete the look.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Not sure if this has been posted yet, but a Chinese basketball player gives a light headbutt to Charles Gaines, Chinese player then got knocked to the ground with an open handed slap by Gaines http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sAAYU2nPxY

Blogger Preveen said...
You guys act like you never saw the outfit D-Wade wore when he coached that rookie-soph game. Man looked like Steve Urkel, for chrissake!

Anonymous Barry said...
I saw that D-Wade pic...and I though of Sgt. Pepper. I can't say it looks all that bad on him though.

Blogger JimmySlattery said...
"hay penny" - ha'penny, short for "half-penny". Old English

I want to see DWade with the matching band-aid for that outfit.

It's the finishing touch of the gingham check shirt with that community theatre Gilbert and Sullivan-operetta Royal Guardsman jacket. Then he tops it all off wiht the plain grey tie becuase, you know, you wouldn't want to look like a damn fool

Anonymous Milt said...
That wardrobe app on Wade's My Touch 3G phone doesn't appear to be working too well.