Damn. (Via SI Vault)

The weekend's over, and back to the work week we go. To help wind down after a long day at work, watch this clip from the 1994 MTV Rock 'n' Jock basketball game. Skeets linked to it the other night, and it made me smile, if for no other reason than wondering whatever the hell happened to Dan Cortese.

Quick NBA2K10 My Player career update:
1) I checked the "NBA.com Headlines" section for news about my growing discontentment with my team. (Apparently the Hawks, the Bobcats, and the Pistons are interested in trading for me! The Spurs haven't acted yet, but I'm looking forward to averaging a double-double for an awful team.) In the meantime, I saw the following headline: "T-Mac Ready to Play." Yes, Knee-mac's even been injured in my game.

2) In transition, I brought the ball down the left side and began to penetrate, but saw my hole closing, so I kicked out to Tony Parker at the top of the key. I was able to keep driving after the defense broke down, so Parker was able to dish it back inside to me. However, he forgot that I am hopelessly white, and we all know white men can't jump. (Woody Harrelson told me so; it must be true!) Despite this knowledge, Parker lobbed the ball high into the air, trying to initiate an alley oop. Needless to say, the ball sailed a full foot over my hands and out of bounds. And you wonder why our team chemistry is rated 37%...

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
Hat tip to Shayan of Mediocre Forever for many of the following pics. What's really interesting is that I went through and picked out almost the same exact pictures as Shayan before he e-mailed several of these over to us. Great minds think alike and all that jazz I suppose.

The Heat do not look very pleased...

Ladies and gentlemen, your Clippers coaching staff.

You know what? I'm posting another pic of Dunleavy just because he makes me smile.

Not shown: Nike officials rappeling down from the rafters to "confiscate" this guy.

Yikes, there must be something really scary behind the camera. Maybe it's a video of the Raptors playing?

Cheer up, guys. Playing for Memphis isn't that bad, is it?

It's okay, he's French, he's allowed to look like that.

Eric Gordon knows it's always a good idea to stretch before you try to ride a Manu. Wait, what?

Is this some sort of ninja attack, a weird form of man love, or did Gordon just get confused and think Manu was a bull?

Nationally Televised Games:
Hornets at Mavericks: The Hornets just snapped a three game winning streak by dropping one at home to the Knicks. The Knicks! Now they have to go on the road (which hasn't been good to them this season) and play the Mavs? Oh, my.

All The Other Games:
Pacers at Magic: If I told you the Magic have lost two straight, and the Pacers have won two straight, how long would you have to stop and think before you realized I was right?

Warriors at 76ers: The Sixers can't put up points right now. However, they get to play a team composed mostly of temporary workers from Labor World and a couple Frankensteined corpses. And yet they'll still probably somehow manage to lose 13 straight.

Celtics at Grizzlies: 'Sheed is 8-for-17 from downtown over the last five games. Wait, what? Meanwhile, Memphis's head coach is named Lionel. How can his players ever take him seriously? We need to give him a nickname, and fast. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thunder at Nuggets: Is it just me, or does "Thunder/Nuggets" sound like a really bad trip to the bathroom after eating too much crap and drinking too much beer during halftime at the game?

Timberwolves at Jazz: The Jazz have won their past two games, beating the Magic and the Lakers. Now a home game against an awful team. Trap game? ...Nah. The Timberpups are that bad.

Wizards Generals at Clippers: Oh, my God. Well, this gets my vote for Basketbawful Game of the Night. Will the Clippers continue to be who we thought they were? Hard to say. They actually have a better record than Washington right now. (Seriously. Look it up if you don't believe me.)

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Blogger John said...
LOL thunder nuggets

Blogger Unknown said...
lol my dude is on the pistons and it looks like it still suffering fallout from the AI saga. chemistry is at 0% and trade rumors are swirling for charlie v, prince, gordon and rip
doesnt help that they promoted my 6'8 SG from the d league about 2 weeks from the all star game and put him straight into the starting line up and have since still only been about .500 from that time, even though i got 25 double doubles and 11 triple doubles lol

Blogger Dan B. said...
Sean -- Yet another example of why I love NBA2K10's My Player mode. It's so ridiculous, it's actually kind of realistic. Doesn't that sound like something an NBA team would actually do?

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Is it just me or does the guy with the "I Dunked On LeBron" poster look like Shawn of the Dead?

Also, is it just me or does Manute Bol look like the alien from the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind?

Blogger Wild Yams said...
BTW, that Manute/Spud pic makes me think of this rather disturbing pic of Dirk and Earl Boykins.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Bavetta's diggin' the man-love in that last pic, with a guido style fistpump.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
NEWS ALERT: ahaha TJ Ford just hit his first 3 of the season tonight.

Blogger DC said...
The Yahoo sports shop is apparently still trying to sell surpluse Jermaine O'Neal Pacer-era jerseys. Here's more proof of this transgression. I guess it's either a very expensive lousy joke Christmas gift for your favorite Pacer fan, or simply a pricey way to get onto straightcashhomey.net.

Anonymous Shayan said...
"did Ariza and Artest switch places, Face Off-style?" LOL nice. And I pray that the Raptors don't lose when the Nets roll into town...I mean it can't get any lower than losing to the Nets this season..

Blogger Boris Tilov said...

Blogger chris said...
Boris Tilov: NOT quite a 7 trillion - I think he pulled down a foul or giveaway or something for a +1! Still, we're now up to what, 124 players who have accrued lacktion at least once this season?!

The Association: where amazing happens.

Blogger BJ said...

Two words, one question -- Twenty. Three. Turnovers?!?!?

Adding a nice cherry to a heaping bawful sundae, Coach Carlisle, quote machine; "We need," said the coach of the 18-7 Mavericks, "to not always make hard work out of sex."

I'm not dead sure what that even means.


"It's like, no disrespect, but [Golden State's] Mikki Moore gets the start and I don't. Not that he's not a good player, but, definitely."

-- Sixers forward Elton Brand on being considered a bench player early in the second year of an $80 million, five-year deal.


Blogger Hilary said...
I can't decide whether this commentary from the Celtics' broadcasters is Basketbawful, Basketbawesome, or merely honest and incisive:

Mike Gorman: Zach Randolph has played very well for this team.

Tommy Heinsohn: And they like him as a person, which is, um... *unique.*

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Basketbawful, you're so immersed in NBA2K10 that you even became the unintentionally dirty quote machine of the night: "In transition, I brought the ball down the left side and began to penetrate, but saw my hole closing, so I kicked out to Tony Parker at the top of the key."

Blogger Dan B. said...
Anonymous -- To be fair to Mr. Bawful, he didn't say that, I did. (Bawful himself would have come up with something even dirtier to say, and it would have been on purpose. Come on, you know that.) But can you blame me? We're so immersed in unintentionally dirty quotes in the NBA, it's almost impossible to NOT start talking like that. Before long, I'm going to start shouting useless coaching catch phrases at people in work meetings.