Carlos Arroyo: Where's Jameer Nelson when you really need him? Carlitos was an Albatross on offense (zero points, 0-for-5 shooting, 4 assists, 2 turnovers) and had his lunch eaten by Mo Pete (19 points, 7-for-9 shooting, 6 rebounds).

Dwight Howard: From Odenized: "The announcers bring up a good point. Dwight Howard is a threat to everyone's health: Tony Battie, Jameer Nelson, Brian Cook (broken knuckle yesterday), and now Chris Paul! Is Dwight Howard a player assassin?" Watch the video and decide for yourself. (Hint: The answer is "yes.")


Mike James: Hey you! Yeah, Mr. DNP-CD, you! How's it feel down there at the end of the Hornets' bench? But you'll always be able to relive your glorious 20 PPG season at basketball-reference.com. So you have that going for you.

New Jersey Nets: Uh, somebody needs to tell them that playing defense is part of making the playoffs. Actually, don't bother. It's probably too late, anyway.

DeSagana Diop and Trenton Hassell: Diop -- whom I've been asked to refer to as "Lasagna Slop" -- had a face-rocking line of zero points (0-for-0) and one foul in three and a half action-intolerant minutes. But at least his name isn't "Trenton." Hassell played only 36 seconds and contributed nothing but a turnover. Dallas is only 1550.78 miles from East Rutherford -- according to Mapquest, anyway -- but it's never seemed farther away. For them at least.

The "Detroit Pistons": My first instinct is to say that the Minnesota fans didn't pay to see a starting lineup that included Rodney Stuckey, Jarvis Hayes, and Theo Ratliff. But then again, after what they've been through this season, that group probably looked like the Eastern Conference All-Stars.

Minnesota Timberwolves: They choked up a 21-point second-quarter lead and eventually lost 94-90 to the "Pistons" despite the fact that Chauncey Billups, Rip Hamilton and Rasheed Wallace didn't even play. Oh, and they let Rodney Stucky play "Fourth Quarter Assassin" by dropping 12 of his career-high 27 points in the final stanza to steal the win.

Craig Smith, quote machine: The T-Wolves forward said: "We’re very disappointed we let this one go. We really beat ourselves by letting them back into the ballgame." No arguments here. Although I think you should have mentioned that your 2-for-10 shooting probably contributed to your team's collapse. But maybe I'm just picking nits. I mean, Ryan Gomes (3-for-10) and Rashad McCants (1-for-9) were just as guilty as you were.

Zach Randolph: I couldn't not mention this: New York's "big man" blocked his 13th shot of the season last night. In 61 games. Holy Christ. You'd think somebody his size would wander into that many blocks by accident. But Isiah wants you to know that Zach wasn't close to being dealt at the trade deadline or anything. As far as anybody knows.

Donnie Walsh: Hey, he doesn't know what the future holds, okay? Wait, what?! He is getting hired by the Knicks after all? Which means he was probably interviewing while still working for the Pacers? No way. I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you. Actually, I kind of am. I thought Walsh had a little more class than that. But then again, Indiana has become a black hole for class the last few years, sucking it into some kind of parallel dimension where it's ritualistically tortured and destroyed. So okay, I'm not shocked anymore.

Larry Hughes: The line: 2 points, 0-for-6 shooting, zero rebounds, zero assists, 1 turnovers, and a "game over" benching with 7:08 left in the third quarter after he blew a layup and clanked an 18-foot jumper on consecutive possessions. Ben Gordan might not be smiling on the outside, but I guarantee you that he's smiling on the inside. (Although, based on Ben's 9-point, 3-for-8 shooting night, he really shouldn't be.)

Update! Benny the Bull: This just in from TrueHoop. The Chicago mascot sniped Kevin Garnett and James Posey from behind with a t-shirt cannon during the closing minutes of the Celtics/Bulls game. According to the Boston Herald report: "Garnett initially had to be restrained by a member of the officiating crew as Benny stood a safe distance away." Huh. What happens when a mascot pees themselves in terror? I guess we'd have to ask Benny that question today. This incident would have been a little more surprising if Benny hadn't gotten into a fight on The Jerry Springer Show earlier this season. Kudos to Posey (even though he sucks) for finding some humor in the situation. "I don’t know. I feel threatened. I don’t feel safe. They really have tough love here, but it was definitely an inside job. They made the mascot do it. I got hit in the back walking away. That spot on my back is sore. I might have to get treatment on it." Of course, I'm only assuming he's kidding.

Doc Rivers: I'm not saying he shouldn't be playing his big guns at all, only that he should try to work a little more leisure time into their schedule. I mean, that's why Danny Ainge signed Sam Cassell (14 minutes) and P.J. Brown (DNP-CD) for, right?

Golden State Warriors: You guys do want to make the playoffs, right? Because last night's banana peel slip against the Spurs makes me think you have a fishing trip planned. That's slightly unfair -- after all, they already have three more wins in a more competitive conference than they finished with last season -- but still. Their offense went wrong (37 percent shooting, only 8 assists to 13 turnovers), they got gangbanged on the glass (54-37), and the Spurs shot their defense full of wholes (55 percent from the field). The sad thing is, you can't exactly say they played badly, because they stuck to their usual game plan...it just didn't work. Let's face it, the Warriors live and die by a certain philosophy (a.k.a., Nellie Ball). And with the way these Western Wars are going, it looks like their headed for the "die" part.

Raja Bell: Let me put on my Hubie Brown mask. "If you're playing for a seven-deep team on the second night of an exhausting back-to-back series with a fast-paced team like the Denver Nuggets, and there's playoff positioning at stake, you cannot afford to get yourself thrown out of the game. It's careless and irresponsible. Your team needs you." Seriously, Raja. WTF?! Just for fun, and in case you haven't seen it, here's The Raja Flop.


Phoenix Suns freethrow shooting: I'm not even going to comment on the home cooking that may or may not have (it did) led to the Nuggets 47-26 advantage in freethrow attempts, but I will mention that the Suns missed 12 of the foul shots they did get. Yes, I'm looking at you, Shaq (2-for-9).

Tracy McGrady: T-Mac great game (32 points, 7 rebounds, 4 assists) ended the same way so many of his other great games have ended: With McGrady gonking a buzzer-beating jumper that would have won the game. (It's probably also worth mentioning that he shot 12-for-31 and had 5 turnovers.)

Reggie Theus, quote machine: After his Kings beat the Rockets and damaged their chances of winning the Western Conference, the Sacramento coach said: "It’s nice that we can play a role in the Western Conference. The guys understand we have a role to play. If our role is to muck it up, that’s what we’ll do. It gives us something to play for and it’s a big win for us down the stretch." Wow. Way to aim high, Reggie.

Update! Damned fools: More breaking news from TrueHoop. Okay, seriously...who gets into a fight at an autograph session? Rashard Lewis fans, apparently. Lewis and his family were taking in a show at the Medieval Times in Kissimmee when a group of teenagers asked for his autograph. One thing led to another and a "mini-riot" broke out. The police were called and they soon restored order. Fortunately for everyone involved, the only casualties were a cell phone and a camera memory card. Nobody got arrested. Lewis said he was only trying to give his fans some love. "I was just trying to be a nice guy." That'll teach him that nice guys finish last in Medieval Times mini-riots.

Labels: Detroit Pistons, Doc Rivers, Donnie Walsh, Dwight Howard, Golden State Warriors, Larry Hughes, Phoenix Suns, Raja Bell, Tracy McGrady, Zach Randolph

Something's wrong in the Valley ofthe Sun. And Nash is pissed about it.
The Suns suck. Relatively speaking, of course. I mean, they're still one of the league's elite teams. At 24-10, they have the best record in the Western Conference, and the third best record in the NBA, behind only Boston (29-3) and Detroit (26-8). In truth, they're only a couple victories off last season's 61-win pace; after 34 games last year, the Suns were 26-8, en route to the league's second-best record. But there's something wrong, something off about the team. I really believe that.

I'm no John Hollinger, but I decided to do a basic statistical comparison, determined to find the smoking gun:


Well, okay. Wow. No smoking guns there. The Suns' scoring and shooting numbers are nearly identical to last season. Their assist and rebounding numbers are up slightly, as are their steals and blocked shots. Alrighty then, let's look at what the Suns' opponents are doing this season:


Now we have something to go on. Teams are scoring and (especially) rebounding better against the Suns this season. Just for the hell of it, let's look at the Suns' differentials:

So the Suns' biggest problem (and I'm not the first person to mention this) seems to be rebounding, where their negative differential has dropped from -2.3 to -5.6. And in case you were wondering -- and even if you weren't -- the answer is yes: The Suns have the worst rebounding differential in the league. Only the Golden State Warriors (-5.3) are nearly as bad on the boards; the next closest team is the Clippers (-2.8).

The Suns really miss Kurt Thomas. And not just his numbers. They have rebounders; Shawn Marion is pulling down 10.1 rebounds per game, and Amare Stoudemire is grabbing 9.1 per. What they miss is a big man who plays solid interior defense, who's willing to put a body on people and mix it up in the paint. Stoudemire may be averaging 2.3 blocked shots per game, but he's a paratrooper; he likes to fly through the air and send shots into the crowd. He's not a physical player. Every team needs at least one big man who likes the rough stuff, even if that player doesn't contribute in obvious ways. Take Portland's Joel Przybilla. His 4.6 PPG and 6.9 RPG aren't going to get him onto the All-Star team, but his toughness inside the paint is a game-changing element for the Blazers.

The Suns don't have that toughness inside. Physically or emotionally. We all know Shawn "I think it's time for me to move on" Marion wants more money and more acclaim, preferably elsewhere. It's as if his $16,440,000 salary (good for 12th in the league and 1st on his team) isn't real, and his four All-Star appearances and two All-NBA Third Team honors never happened.

Stoudemire, as everybody knows, wants to be The Man in Phoenix. He leads the team in PPG (22.0) and FGA (14.0), but he also gets visibly frustrated when he isn't getting his shots. Amare claimed that he missed the Suns' 45-minute practice on Sunday because his kids were ill, but the reality seems to be that Stoudemire himself was sick about only getting 11 shots in Saturday's tough 118-113 loss to the New Orleans Hornets. In that game, Stoudemire went shotless in the third quarter, and then went shotless again for the final six minutes of the game until a last-second three-point attempt. After the game, he punched his palm and told reporters, "We've got to all get on the same page!"

Steve Nash is still Steve Nash, the best point guard in basketball (although Jason Kidd is still a triple-double machine, and young guys like Chris Paul and Deron Williams are hot on Nash's heels). But he doesn't command the respect, or fear, of other great players have. Scottie Pippen might have secretly hated Jordon, and envied his position as the Bulls' Alpha Dog, but he never seriously tried (or expected) to supplant him, just as Kevin McHale and James Worthy had no misconceptions about their respective places in the pecking order behind Larry Bird and Magic Johnson. For whatever reason, Nash's teammates -- Marion and Stoudemire at least -- don't have the same level of reverence for their two-time MVP. After Stoudemire's missed practice, Nash said, "If that stuff is going on, it needs to be stopped or else we can kiss it goodbye, because you can't win at this level if you don't have great chemistry and you don't pull for each other. If you're worried about your shots or about yourself or making excuses and pointing fingers at other players, that's for losers."

Bird, Jordan, and Magic used to say stuff like that, and their teams (usually) responded. After the Celtics lost to the Lakers by 33 points in Game 3 of the 1984 NBA Finals, Bird called his teammates (and himself) "a bunch of sissies." The next game, Kevin McHale clotheslined Kurt Rambis, Bird hip-checked Michael Cooper into the stands, and the Celtics beat the Lakers in overtime (after which Bird, assessing his team's improved performance, said, "Yeah, we [only] played like a bunch of women tonight."). I just don't see the Suns reacting the same way to Nash's sometimes frequent critiques.

I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the Suns did respond to Nash's tough love. After all, they came out on Monday and dropped 137 points on the Nuggets. Marion hit five three-pointers on his way to a season-high 27 points. Stoudemire got 13 shots and had 20 points and 10 rebounds. Even the much-maligned Marcus Banks got into the game, and into the act, scoring 23 points (7-for-8) in almost 20 minutes of action.

The question is: Will it last? Are the Suns chemistry issues over? I doubt it. Marion will become a free agent at the end of this season. The Suns clearly haven't decided what they want to do with him, and he knows that. Marion doesn't know whether he wants to remain loyal to the Suns or seek more money and glory somewhere else, and the Suns know that. Stoudemire wants to be The Man on his team and one of the best centers in the league, but he doesn't want to to the dirty work (blocking out, getting physical inside, laying the wood on the opposing team's big men) that centers are supposed to do. And Nash, well, no one really knows how long he's going to hold up. Meanwhile, Raja Bell's health has been spotty and his numbers are down. Leandro Barbosa has taken a small step back this season, and Boris Diaw has taken a huge leap back. Nobody knows how long Grant Hill's body is going to hold up (although the Suns are no doubt praying for a miracle "Bill Walton in 1986" season from him). And nobody knows whether D'Antoni will ever feel completely comfortable utilizing his bench.

I know I might be overreacting. The Suns are still good. Really good. Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe seeing them get mandhandled twice by the Lakers got me too worked up. And maybe seeing the chemistry and joy in Portland reminds me of how much fun the Suns were having during their big winning streaks last season, and the season before that, and the season before that. I guess, in the end, I just want a little more fun in the Suns. Is that too much to ask?

Quick fixes: Personally, I think Kerr should trade Marion (before he bolts in the off-season) for a sturdy, defense-oriented big man, and move Stoudemire to the power forward position (which is his natural position). Then you can slide Grant Hill to the small forward (as long as his body holds up), and play Nash and Bell at the guard spots. Play Brian Skinner as much as you can, even if he isn't putting up big numbers. And D'Antoni needs to develop a set rotation.

Update: Is Shawn Marion just too good for the Suns? The gentlemen at Hardwood Paroxysm think so. And you know what? They may be right.

Labels: Amare Stoudemire, Boris Diaw, Leandro Barbosa, Mike D'Antoni, Phoenix Suns, Raja Bell, Shawn Marion, Steve Nash, sucking

Does it really take that many armsto restrain Steve Nash? Seriously?!
I can't believe Phoenix pulled off that win last night.

The Spurs did almost everything right. They set the tempo. They clogged the lane. They ran out at the three-point shooters. They worked the ball around and continously got high-percentage shots. They dominated almost the entire game and held double-digit leads for long stretches of the third and fourth quarters. The Suns made a run -- as everybody knew they would -- but when the Spurs pushed their lead back to 97-92 with a couple minutes to go, I figured it was over.

Guess I was wrong.

How'd the Suns do it? Well, first off, they got a little road cookin' in that all the critical calls went their way in the 4th quarter. There were some iffy charges and at least one ticky-tac "and 1" in which Leandro Barbosa clearly initiated the contact with Tony Parker. But even more telling is the fact that Tim Duncan got called for travelling twice. Now mind you, both calls were absolutely correct. He shuffled his feet. But Duncan always shuffles his feet...it just doesn't get called, certainly not in the 4th quarter of a home playoff game. But they got him last night.

Of course, even though the Suns got a lot of favorable whistles night, I'd like to point one thing out. You know those handchecking rules that David Stern enacted to free up perimeter players and fast breaking teams? Apparently those rules apply to everybody but the Spurs. They handcheck on every possession. In fact, I think Steve Nash should stencil some hand outlines on his jersey so it's easier for Bruce Bowen to remember where to grab on.

Anyway, it's funny how a few calls here and there will get a team going. Because to tell you the truth, the only Suns player who looked like he really believed they could win during the second half was Steve Nash. The rest of the team looked scared and tentative. Guys were even passing up shots. It was kind of embarrassing, and I think Nash looked a little pissed off about it. But once the whistling winds of change started blowing their way, the Suns got that "We Believe" look in their eyes.

Then it was just a plain, old-fashioned gut check, symbolized by not one, but two behind-the-back passes from Steve Nash to Amare Stoudemire for layups (and not easy ones), the second of which gave the Suns their first lead since it was 38-37 in the first half.

But even when the game was basically decided, the Spurs chose not to go down quietly. That's when Robert Horry -- who for the last few years has been playing the role of the "lovable grandpa" everybody can count on -- channeled his inner Bill Laimbeer and blasted Nash out of bounds. It was a sucker punch worthy of Ric Flair, but I'll give Horry some credit. He didn't pull a Bruce Bowen, which is when you cheapshot somebody, then adopt a look of purest innocence and pretend it was unintentional. No, Horry pistol-whipped Nash and gave him a look like, "That's right, I did that to you."

It's hard to say what Horry's intention was. It sured seemed like he was trying to bait somebody into a fight, which almost happened when Raja Bell charged onto the scene. And of course Nash's teammates on the bench, primarly Stoudemire and Boris Diaw, jumped to their feet and onto the court. Now we have to wait and see if those players get suspended. Yeah, they violated the letter of the law (no leaving the bench during altercations), but not the spirit of the law (which is to prevent brawls). Personally, I think it would be unfair of Stern to suspend anybody on the Suns, particularly after the brutality of Horry's hit and all of Bowen's dirty little tricks. We'll see.

Great win for Phoenix, though. They regained home court advantage and now they [CLICHE ALERT!!] once again control their own destiny.

Labels: Bruce Bowen, NBA playoffs, Phoenix Suns, Raja Bell, Robert Horry, San Antonio Spurs, Steve Nash, Tim Duncan