The Atlanta Hawks: Well, for starters, Carlos Boozer dunked on them.
No, seriously. Boozer flushed it. Left handed.
At this point, between his slump and the torn toe ligaments, getting dunked on by Boozington is like letting an 80-year-old grandmother go over the top on you in an arm wrestling match.
Chicago's defense through three quarters: For the first 36 minutes, the Hawks shot 53 percent from the field. And, actually, Chicago's D let the Atlantean's knock down 56 percent of their two-pointers (33-for-59) and convert an astonishing 15 of their 18 attempts at the rim. Good thing the Hawks were broke from three-point range (1-for-12).
Chicago's defense on Jeff Teague: Little dude flat out kept the Hawks in this game by scoring a team-high 21 points on 8-for-11 from the field and 5-for-7 at the line. He also had a team-best 7 assists and went 5-for-5 at the rim. Atlanta might have had a chance if not for the following four factors:
Factor 1 -- Joe Johnson: The 120 Million Dollar Man once again played like a third or fourth banana...assuming that banana had been half-peeled and left in the sun for a couple hours. Joe finished with 15 points on 6-for-15 shooting in 41 minutes. He was 1-for-5 from downtown and had only 3 assists and 2 rebounds. Still, Johnson wasn't half as bad as...
Factor 2 -- Jamal Crawford: Crawford was instant offense last night, minus the "instant offense" part. In 27 minutes of PT, Jamal managed just 2 poitns on 1-for-9 shooting (0-for-4 on threes). Note that Keith Bogans outscored Crawford 11-2 last night. I'm just sayin'.
Factor 3 -- Atlanta's fourth quarter offense: During the final 12 minutes, the Dirty Birdies scored only 15 points on 5-for-16 shooting. They committed 5 turnovers -- including one shot clock violation -- and got 2 shots blocked. They jacked up four three-pointers and made zero of them.
Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau went with a fourth quarter lineup of D-Rose, Lu Deng, Omer Asik, Ronnie Brewer and Taj Gibson. That unit straight up shut the Hawks down. It probably didn't help that -- because Atlanta has no bench -- Hawks coach Larry Drew had to play Horford, Johnson and Teague 40+ minutes each. And Smith played 39 minutes.
Factor 4 -- Atlanta's fourth quarter defense on Taj Gibson: The fact that Derrick Rose (33 points, 9 assists, +17) torched the Hawks with 11 points and 3 assists in the fourth quarter isn't all surprising. But Gibson also lit 'em up for 11 fourth quarter points. THE RISE OF TAJ!
Luol Deng, poster boy: Uh, Lu, you don't need to get out on him. Trust me, you want Josh Smith shooting jumpers.
Carlos Boozer versus Josh Smith: Cat fight!
Not sure what that was all about, really. It sort of looked like Boozer thought Smith was going to come down on him and stuck out a protective arm...only Smith landed safely and walked right into Boozer's 'bow.
Said Smith: "I dunked the basketball and I go to turn and he just cleared me with an elbow to the jaw. Nobody is going to do that to me. I don't care who you are. I'm a man first."
Wow. That line was so macho, the woman sitting across from me on the train just grew a tuft of chest hair.
Josh Smith's shot versus Omer Asik's hand: Get out, Josh. Get out.
Benny the Bull: Hey! That's a waste of some perfectly good popcorn.
Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report: Pape Sy and Rasual Butler went mining in 65 seconds each for a 1.1 trillion payday.
Labels: 2011 NBA Playoffs, Atlanta Hawks, Carlos Boozer, Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Omer Asik, Worst of the Night
The Atlanta Hawks: Look, I hate to say I told you so -- oh, who am I kidding...I love saying I told you so! -- but the Atlanta-Orlando series proved beyond a shadow of a doubt what I've been saying since the preseason. Specifically, that the Hawks were, at best, a second tier team.
There's no particular shame in that. And, frankly, it should have been obvious looking at the roster. Their captain and best player is a volume shooter who relies on a steady diet of isolation plays...and that's what their offense is based on. Well, that and running, when they can. That never quite happened against the Magic. In the "Broom Game," Atlanta managed only 6 fast break points.
And as for their All-Star/All-NBA team leader, Joe Johnson, he saved his worst for last. Joe averaged 13.4 points a game on 32 percent shooting over his last seven playoff games. Facing almost certain elimination, Johnson went out and scored only 14 points on 5-for-15 shooting. He also bricked a couple free throws and went 1-for-6 from downtown. In fact, his last shot attempt -- maybe his last ever as a member of the Hawks -- was an air ball from 25 feet out as the shot clock was about to expire.
Not what you'd call a storybook ending. It was more like one of those M.Night Shyamalan movies with the twist ending that leaves you feeling confused, disappointed and full of self-hate.
If Johnson does flee Atlanta this summer, the fans might not be all that upset about it (well, until the team falls into complete ruin next season, anyway). As the AP recap put it: "[Johnson] was booed by the home crowd at the start of the game and got the same treatment when he went to the bench with 3:51 to play. The fans were still miffed that he said didn't care if they 'showed up or not' after they heckled the team in a 30-point loss on Saturday."
I know this will shock and astound you, but Joe doesn't give a shit: "It doesn't bother me, man. I've got thick skin. I've been booed louder than that."
As for the Hawks, the were -18% in 3P%, -15% in FGP, -10 in assists, -7 in rebounds and of course -14 in total points. Speaking of margins of defeat, the Hawks conspired to help the Magic set a new playoff record for playoff asskicking: Orlando had the largest margin of victory in any four-game sweep in NBA postseason history (+25.3 PPG).
Reality check: The Magic and Hawks finished second and third in the Eastern Conference...but the Dirty Birds suffered the most bawful four-game pimp slap in league history. Think about that. Let it soak in. Now read this mea culpa from Scoop Jackson (via chris):
Dear Atlanta Hawks,Couldn't you almost hear the Journey music playing while you were reading that?
Thanks.
That's the only word that feels appropriate. That's the only word ESPN will let me use without violating the language code set in place for moments just like this.
Thanks for making me look like an idiot for publicly picking you to win the East.
Yes, I said "publicly" and yes I did that. Back In January, I went out of my way to tell anyone that wanted to listen that I believed the team from the ATL was going to be the last one standing in the NBA East when it was all said and done.
Over Boston, over Cleveland, over the Orlando Magic.
Now I look like the last comic standing...without any jokes.
This is worse than when I was fooled into picking the New Jersey Nets in 2005 to win the whole thing. Now I know how Rod Blagojevich and Steve Bartman must feel everyday.
So Hawks, my squad, thanks for making me look more of a damn fool.
From here on out, I don't need your help. I can do that all by myself.
Thanks for nothing.
Scoop
Joe Johnson: See above. And for the hell of it, here are 10 reasons Joe Cool isn't a superstar. For my money, there's just one reason, and it's called "This series."
Okay, okay. One more dis for "iso-Joe" from Basketbawful reader and Suns fan Clifton: "Joe Johnson hasn't changed a bit since the Suns refused to give him all that dough he wanted. Just like getting rid of Marion, it's taken a little while for it to bear fruit, but boyyyyyyyy does that ever look like a good move now. People seemed surprised at his bitter comments about the Atlanta fans after Game 3, but we heard pretty much the same song here in PHX that summer when he was lobbying for his new deal. And, sure enough, as the money nears its end, Joe shows his true colors once again."
Josh Smith: If the NBA gave out MVP awards for teams that just got swept, Smith would probably receive one for this series. But...according to the game notes in the AP recap: "Smith, who ranked third in the NBA with 2.14 blocks a game during the regular season, had only two blocks in the entire series against the Magic."
I'm just sayin'.
Mike Bibby: 11 minutes, 4 points, 2 assists. Let me put it this way, if I was out to eat and my steak came out this done, I'd send it back to the kitchen and then leave the restaurant and never come back. Unless it was to burn the place down.
Mike Brown: Basketbawful reader Will pretty much said it all: "There's no way on God's green Earth that Mike Woodson can come back next year. Rashard just hit a three to put Orlando up 21 and the camera cuts to him looking like a cigar store Indian. I wasn't sure if he had a pulse. The Hawks need someone who knows about that orange sphere called a basketball."
Stan Van Gundy, quote machine: "If we're better than you, we're going to win most of the time."
Vince Carter, quote machine: "Guys are just focused. It's unbelievable to see. This is my opportunity for a championship."
Don't worry, everybody. I don't think Vag Carter will be joining the "Antoine Walker Memorial Team of Players Who Didn't Deserve to Win a Title But Did Anyway." The Magic are getting a lot of buzz for sweeping through the first two rounds, but let's be honest: They had two very favorable matchups. I think they're going to get a wakeup call in the next round. And even if they do reach the Finals, I can't see their outside game beating the Lakers' inside game.
The Utah Jazz: After dismantling the Denver Nuggets in the first round, the Jazz were feeling pretty good about themselves. Deron Williams dubbed himself the best point guard alive and the Mormon Musicians felt they had a very real chance to upset the Lakers. And hey, they could have stolen a game in L.A., and the third was certainly up for grabs. But once the buzzer sounded after that Game 3 loss, you could just tell Utah was finished.
"We just can't beat these guys" might as well have been written on their foreheads in magic marker. Okay, that sentence would probably only fit on Carlos Boozer's giant forehead, but still. I read somewhere that Utah's practice the day before Game 4 felt like a funeral, meaning the Jazz had lost this one before it ever began.
They're called "motions," and the Jazz were going through them.
The Lakers built a 22-point lead in the first half. Utah went on one of those "Hey, let's not totally humiliate ourselves, guys" runs in the third quarter before slowly and rather quietly succumbing to the inevitable 111-96 loss.
The only Jazz starter who finished with a positive plus-minus score was Kyrylo Fesenko (+9). The rest of them were a combined -56. What does that tell you?
Said Williams: "We're a playoff team and they're a championship team. They're just better than we are. ... We all were discouraged. It was kinda deja vu. It's always hard to get down 10, 12 points against this team and try and come back."
Doesn't this kind of remind you of how the Suns used to regard the Spurs? A handful of solid efforts that came up short followed by a depressed and discouraging playoff elimination. Speaking of discouragement, the Jazz seemed became increasingly intimidated by L.A.'s size as the series progressed. By Game 4, all it took was a handful of early blocked shots by the Lakers' bigs to scare Utah out of the paint for what seemed like the rest of the game.
Oh well. Like Lance Armstrong said in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story: "Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life."
Carlos Boozer: This very well might have been Boozer's final game with the Jazz...and it was the kind he'd probably rather forget, no matter how many illegal chemicals and household cleaning agents are required to induce memory loss. Carlos finished with 10 points on 4-for-11 shooting and committed a co-game-high (with Williams) 4 turnovers (the Lakers had six as a team) before fouling out of the game with 3:31 left.
What's worse, his power forward counterpart, Pau Gasol, erupted like a volcano set off by some evil genuis's giant underground drill: 33 points (12-for-18 FGs, 9-for-11 FTs), 14 rebounds, 2 assists and 2 blocked shots. And that wasn't an aberration. Gasol made Boozer look tiny all series long. Not only that, he was regularly outplayed by his backup over these final four games. In Game 4, Paul Milsap scored a co-team-high 21 points (8-for-14) off the bench. Of course, Milsap also had a game-worst plus-minus score of -29. So maybe that's a bad comparison.
As for the future, Carlos doesn't want to talk about it right now: "I'll figure it out later. It's too soon for all that talk. Right now we're disappointed that we lost and our season is over. All the free agent talk, we'll talk about it in July."
Deron William: From Basketbawful reader phelan: "So Lakers advance with a sweet of the Mormom Musicians. Granted, it's the Lakers and everybody knew LA was going to go on, but still, D-Will needs to get into the WotN somehow just for dooming...no, STARBURYING his team when he said he's the best point guard in the league. It's like a stat curse...without needing any stats!"
Indeed, Deron followed in Stephon Marbury's footsteps from Starbury's last trip to the playoffs as a starting point guard: A four-game sweep...although Marbury was broomed by the New Jersey Nyets, which is a little worse. It was after this head-to-head postseason loss to Kidd that Marbury proclaimed his best-point-guard-in-the-NBA-ness.
Getty Images: I can say with complete sincerity that my life would have been much more complete without ever seeing a picture of Adam Morrison in his underwear. Thanks for the nightmare fuel, Getty Images. Next time, please send a rusty utensil capable of ripping my eyes from their respective sockets.
Things we dismiss as "coincidence": From Basketbawful reader Mike T:
I have always maintained that the J.A. in J.A. Adande stands for "Jack Ass." I must have been really bored at work to even read his Lakers propaganda, but I'm glad I did because I came across this:For the record, here was what I wrote:
"Pau Gasol had 17 rebounds. Artest made 4 of 7 3-pointers. It kept the Lakers right in the game and allowed Bryant and Fisher to go all 'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom' on the Jazz with two killer 3s in the final minute."
He even included a link to the YouTube video of Mola Ram.
I'm amazed that Adande reads Basketbawful (I didn't think he had good taste), but I'm not surprised at all that he stole this from your May 3rd description of Kobe's treatment of Utah.
As a long-time Jazz fan, I'm not sure how much I have to say about this one. It was like watching a rerun of a television show you hate. Utah fell behind early, the Lakers' bench let them back in, and then Mamba went all Mola Ram on the Jazz.Like Adande, I provided a YouTube video of Mola Ram ripping out a heart. But I'm sure it's just a crazy random happenstance.
Lacktion report: About the only "good" thing that came out of the Lakers-Jazz game was some lacktion for chris to report on:
Lakers-Jazz: Josh Powell produced a pair of fouls and bricks each in 3:32 for a +4 suck differential that also garnered a 2:0 Voskuhl.
For the Mormon musicians, Kosta Koufos and Othyus Jeffers finished up their concertos with a coda lasting 99 seconds -- Koufos hitting a high note worth 1.65 trillion, and Jeffers bricking once for a +1.
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Carlos Boozer, Deron Williams, Joe Johnson, Los Angeles Lakers, Mike Bibby, Orlando Magic, Stephon Marbury, Utah Jazz
Atlanta's end-of-the-third-quarter defense: This shot really was the beginning of the end for the Hawks last night:
Granted, it was a tough shot. But Orlando inbounded the ball with less than six seconds left in the quarter. Atlanta only applied token pressure when Jameer Nelson started pushing the ball upcourt. Hell, Joe Johnson was backpedaling sideways before Nelson even got to him. That's not fundamental defense, folks. If the Hawks had pressured the ball handler, they might have avoided a pretty drastic momentum shift. Instead...
...oh, and speaking of Joe Johnson...
Joe Johnson: Schooled:
In addition to his flat-footed defense, Joe Cool shot 5-for-16 and scored only 2 points in the fourth quarter, during which the Hawks were outscored 28-15. What's more, there's decent evidence to suggest that Atlanta's "iso-Joe" offense is killing their offense in the playoffs.
Atlanta's fourth quarter offense: Check it out: jump shots, turnovers and more jump shots. Of course, Orlando's offense was also pretty jumper-centric, but the Magic were hitting their shots. Not to go all Hubie Brown on you, but you can't win on the road in the playoffs by shooting nothing nothing but jumpers.
Atlanta's defense: Even though the Hawks kept things close, the reality is this: Teams usually lose games when they give up 112 points on 56 percent shooting. And unlike the Bobcats, they haven't been able to contain Dwight Howard or get him into early foul trouble. Pumaman played 39 minutes and finished with 29 points and 17 rebounds while going 8-for-9 from the field and 13-for-18 from the line.
And he did that with a busted nose.
For some historical perspective, Dwight Howard became the fourth player in the last 40 years to have at least 25 points and 17 boards while shooting 85 percent in a playoff game. The other guys were Shaq, Wilt and Wes Unseld.
Man, who looks this stuff up??
Speaking of which, the Magic have compiled the fourth highest scoring differential (+57) in the first two games of an NBA playoff series. Of course, their 43-point win in Game 1 kind of padded that stat, but still.
One last historic fail: Howard, Nelson, Rashard Lewis and Vince Carter all scored 20 or more points...and that was the first time the Magic ever had four players score at least 20 points in a playoff game.
Atlanta's offense: Um...41 percent shooting? Probably not gonna get it done. Also, the Hawks had only 4 fast break points. I thought this team was built to run?
Dwight Howard, quote machine: "I'm human. It's not like I'm built of metal. They did to me like they did the Wolverine. I bleed. I break bones."
By the way, I had to include this video of Dwight mocking LeBron's chalk toss:
Mike Bibby: This guy is done. Finished. Kaput. Mike Woodson played him only 14 minutes, and Bibby finished with 3 points and an assist. Dude looks like he's ready for the 50 and over league.
The Bizarro Logic for All-NBA Teams: Okay, so...the starting guards on the All-NBA First Team are Mamba and Pookie, and the starting backcourt for the Second Team includes Deron Williams and Steve Nash. Look, what NBA team starts two shooting guards? Or, for that matter, two point guards? How about designing the All-NBA Teams the way actual NBA teams are assembled? I know this isn't a new thing...but it still bugs me.
Oh, and Amar''''''e isn't a center!
Lacktion report: And now chris presents his "Is anyone even watching this series??" lacktion report:
Hawks-Magic: You get the feeling that Mike Woodson would love to just declare the series over after two games, and apparently so does Zaza Pachulia - four fouls in 7:04 earned a +4 suck differential and a 4:0 Voskuhl! Randolph Morris also meowed into the Voskuhl section tonight by garnering a 3:1 ratio in 5:59 by countering a board with a brick and three fouls.
For the alchemists, Ryan Anderson celebrated another clinical victory by fouling and bricking once each in 2:05 for a +2 that also earned a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl. Also sucking it up tonight was Brandon Bass, whose low note of the game came in just 62 seconds with a brick.
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Jameer Nelson, Joe Johnson, NBA playoffs, Orlando Magic
The Atlanta Hawks: Man...I really wish I would have saved that story where I peed my pants while sitting next to the girl I had a crush on for this game. But, in all honesty, how could I have seen this coming? How could anyone? This was a failure so epic that the term "epic fail" doesn't feel anywhere near strong enough. No human words quite do this one the injustice it deserves. If a normal blowout is a kick to the groin, this would be the equivalent of someone repeatedly kicking said groin until all that was left was a bloody, oozing puddle of genital soup. Chunky brand, of course.
In fact, here's a quick two-minute "highlight reel" from last night's game:
Said Mike Bibby: "It's embarrassing. They embarrassed us."
Added Zaza Pachulia: "They made a run and they never looked back."
Yeah, you could say that, Zaza.
The Magic outscored the Hawks 60-21 over the second and third quarters. They led by as many as 46 points before settling for a 114-71 victory that made me feel dirty, like I'd just watched 48 minutes of German torture porn.
Orlando was +18 on the boards and +22 in points in the paint. The Magic scored 26 points off 16 Atlanta turnovers. Seven of those turnovers were forced during the Hawks' 10-point second quarter. Atlanta's "top performer" was Zaza Pachulia (12 points, 7 rebounds, 5 fouls).
What does that tell you?
According to ESPN Stats & Information, Orlando's 43-point win was their second-largest margin of victory in a playoff game all-time and tied for the second-largest margin of victory in NBA history in Game 1 of a best-of-seven series. It was the Hawks' second-worst loss in their postseason history...the worst being a 58-point beat down by the Lakers in 1956. Of course, that was well before the Hawks moved to Atlanta.
Here's the top five largest margins of victory in Game 1 in NBA postseason history: 47 (Magic over Celtics in 1995), 47 (Lakers over Spurs in 1986), 43 (Magic over Hawks 2010), 43 (Lakers over Mavericks in 1984), and 41 (Bulls over Knicks in 1991).
That's right: This was the third-biggest Game 1 drubbing ever.
If you're an Atlanta fan -- and I'm really freaking sorry if that's the case -- the biggest disappointment isn't the loss itself or even the historic margin of defeat. It's gotta be the fact that the Hawks just gave up. There was a mental downshift during the third quarter where you could tell the Atlanta players had started going through the motions. And although I guess that's human nature -- let's face it, they weren't coming back from 40 points down -- there's something to be said for going down swinging, you know, trying to establish some forward momentum for the next game.
But that's not what these Hawks do. They aren't one of those mentally tough, high basketball IQ squads. Their focus and effort levels vacillate from game to game, which is why they're such a lousy road team, and why a weakened Milwaukee team pushed them to the brink in the first round, and why I have never taken this team very seriously.
Jamal Crawford: Ah, yet another game that reminds us why this is Jamal's first trip to the NBA playoffs. Despite logging the second-most minutes of the game (34), Mr. Sixth Man finished with only 5 points on 1-for-11 shooting. What's more (or, more accurately, less), he finished with twice as many combined fouls and turnovers (6) as rebounds and assists (3). His plus-minus score was a game-worst -35.
Al Horford: Not only did he go 1-for-7 from the field, but Horford eaten alive by Pumaman (21 points, 8-for-10, 12 rebounds, 5 blocks and only 3 fouls).
Joe Johnson: Yeah, I know. I could keep listing Hawks players until I got through their entire roster. This is the last one, I swear. Johnson -- the supposed leader of the Hawks -- went 4-for-11 and finished with a game-worst 5 turnovers. Not only was his offense off, but he killed the team's offense by forcing too many isolations and holding the ball for way too long. Which, sure, is what he always does...but the effect was worse than usual, as his second-worst-of-the-game plus-minus score (-29) attests.
Mike Woodson: Forget the fact that he presided over the wrong side of one of the worst-ever ass kickings in NBA history...that was bad enough. But did you see Woodson's press conference? Mike looked like he was about to fall asleep. What he should have been was pissed. Pissed that his team almost got eliminated by the Andrew Bogut-less Bucks. Pissed that his team quit on themselves and him last night. I would have had more respect for Woodson if he'd gone all Dennis Green on the press corps:
Something like this would have worked too:
Instead, dude acted like he'd just lost a particularly puzzling game of chess: "It was an ugly game for us. I wish I knew what happened." I'm sure your players and fans wish they knew you had a pulse, Mike.
Stan Van Gundy, quote machine: To be frank, the Magic probably needed a cold slap of reality after this game, and Van Gundy was more than happy to provide it: "I told them that [Wednesday] I will have for them virtually every time in NBA playoff history that a team had a blowout win, came back and lost the next game. You've got to forget what happened."
The Utah Jazz: Here's a dirty little secret women try to keep from men: Size actually does matter. And the poor Jazz...they're just too tiny.
As big as Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum look against most teams, they look like friggin' giants next to pretty much everybody on the Utah roster except Kyrylo Fesenko, and that guy was trash (1-for-7, 3 rebounds and 4 fouls in 17 minutes). Seriously, the way Gasol and Bynum buzz past Fesenko makes it look like Kyrylo just got zapped with a Medusa head, Clash of the Titans-style (or God of War-style). That guy would lose a foot race to Stephen Hawking, even if Hawking was tied to a boat anchor and covered in cement.
Anyway, the Jazz grabbed 19 offensive boards but still got outrebounded 58-40. The Lakers scored 64 of their 111 points in the paint as Gasol and Bynum combined for 39 points (on 14-for-20 shooting), 29 rebounds and 7 blocked shots. Even Lamar Odom (11 points, 4-for-4, 15 rebounds, 3 blocks) had his way inside.
If the Lakers could have held onto the ball -- they committed 20 turnovers for 26 points going the other way -- this might have been a blowout.
Said Utah coach Jerry Sloan: "Their rebounding tonight was just something we could not handle. I don't like to use the word 'disheartening.' I thought our guys played extremely hard to try and stay in the ballgame."
Oh, they tried, all right.
Carlos Boozer: His 20/12/4 seems pretty good until you realize he went 9-for-21 and got six of his shots swatted, stuffed or otherwise dismissed. Four players (Bynum, Gasol, Mamba and Odom) rejected Carlos, and he had attempts sent back by Odom and Gasol on the same possession. For perspective, the blocks against Boozer represent almost half of L.A.'s 13 shot blocks. The Jazz, by contrast, had exactly 4 blocked shots as a team. And don't even get me started on Boozer's interior defenselessness.
Deron Williams: Apparently, Mr. "I'm The Best Point Guard in the League" Williams is too good to walk to the locker room these days...
Nice sweater, by the way. Williams didn't look too hot against the Lakers last night: 15 points, 4-for-16, 2-for-6 from downtown, 9 assists, 3 turnovers, 5 fouls. Not horrible...but not exactly best-at-his-position-y either. I think Deron got spoiled by the _enver _efense in the first round.
Ron Artest: Rumor has it Crazy Pills had ball boys searching through all the garbage cans and trash dumpsters around the Staples Center...looking for his jump shot. Despite the fact that he apparently forgot to shoot -- he's 7-for-42 from downtown during the playoffs -- that didn't keep Artest from chucking up seven threes last night. He only made one of 'em, though.
So...what's the deal?
Said Ron-Ron: "I don't know. I feel great. I don't really know. I just have to keep playing basketball."
Vinny Del Negro: Not to dogpile on the poor guy, but an anonymous commenter sent this in and...it's worth a watch:
Lacktion report: It's a sad day for chris and the rest of us here at Basketbawful: Mario West played last night but does not appear in this report. Alas, the lacktion show must go on...
Hawks-Magic: Jason Collins negated one field goal and board in 4:30 with three fouls and a giveaway for a 4:3 Voskuhl.
Jazz-Lakers: Josh Powell must've felt like King Koopa's last moments in his castle tonight: two fouls and one giveaway in just 56 seconds for a Mario and a +3 suck differential that also notched a 3:0 Voskuhl!
Labels: Al Horford, Atlanta Hawks, Carlos Boozer, Deron Williams, Jamal Crawford, Joe Johnson, NBA playoffs, Ron Artest, Utah Jazz, Worst of the Night
Thanks to Dan B. for sending in the pic.
Mindless violence: By now, most of you already know what happened to Carl Landry, but here's a quick recap in case you don't: Landry's car was sideswiped and then struck by another car. When Carl got out to inspect the damage, two men confronted him and one of them shot at him. Twice. Fortunately, he was only grazed on the left calf -- 'tis but a flesh wound! -- and so he should only miss one to three weeks of action. Look, I get the whole road rage thing. As a Chicago driver, I can't tell you how many times I've fantasized about shooting (or hanging, or electrocuting, or dropping a giant anvil on) some dude or dudette that just cut me off, but that's where it ends: In fantasy. By the way, quick quiz: Biggest douchebags on the road, BMW drivers or Mercedes drivers? Discuss.
The Sacramento Kings: After three straight near misses against the Thunder (99-98), Crabs (126-123) and
More telling, though, was this quote from Josh Smith: "We didn't want to lose to a team like Sacramento. No offense to them, but (after) beating New Orleans and Utah, teams who are on top of the Western Conference, we didn't want to let ourselves down by losing this game." Ouch.
Joe Johnson: Considering how ridiculously hot the Hawks were last night -- not to mention the fact that they were playing a patsy -- it's hard to fathom how Joe Cool shot 8-for-21 and finished with more turnovers (6) than rebounds (4) or assists (5). Maybe he didn't get a hug before the game.
Home cookin': Okay, so the Magic-Crabs game was pretty awesome and pretty intense. Too bad some lousy officiating spoiled the ending. LeBron had just put the Crabs up 95-93 with a clutch three-pointer -- in front of the Orlando bench, no less -- but the Magic were denied a chance to tie it up when Dwight Howard was called for...a three-second violation. Cleveland ball with 30 seconds left on the clock. Still, not all hope was lost for the Magic, assuming they could get a defensive stop. Of course, they did not: James was "fouled" while shooting by Courtney Lee. King Crab calmly sunk the two freebies, which pretty much sealed the deal.
And, of course, you just KNEW that Stan Van Gundy was going to have something to say about that three-second call after the game: "You won't see that call again. That, I guarantee you. You will not see, with the game on the line, a three-second call in the last 10 seconds. That's part of the reason they're 30-1 at home. They're a very good team, and when you get calls like that (expletive), you're in pretty good shape." Hey, that call was made in the last 30 seconds, not the last 10, Stan. See, this is why I hate frontrunners...
All kidding aside, Superman also spoke out against the black-and-white striped Kryptonite: "I was very surprised. I was in the lane and I got out. It seemed like their bench or their coaching staff got into the ref's ear about me being in the lane. Instead of letting the refs make the call, I guess the bench made the call."
Rashard Lewis: You know, despite those calls, the Magic had a really solid chance to steal this game. Sadly, Lewis boned it for them. He was second on the team in shot attempts but went 3-for-15, including 0-for-8 from downtown. And lest you think that he had "a" bad game, here's a quote from Ben Q. Rock of the Third Quarter Collapse: "In the last week (four games), he's shot 11-of-46 from the field, including 3-of-27 from three-point range, with all 3 of those makes coming in the same game. He picked the wrong time to enter a shooting slump, because with a normal Lewis, Orlando probably wins this game." Live by the three, die by the three.
Here's a little extra puzzlement from Basketbawful reader CP3 for MVP: "I was just looking at the Magic-Cavs box score in which the Cavs won 97-93. On the Magic's side, Dwight Howard took the least shots out of all the starters with 8. He made 5 of them. Rashard Lewis took 15 shots, almost double what Dwight took, and made 3 (!). Surely you'd go to the arguably best big man in the game a bit more often. The Cavs on the other hand were quite comfortable on their superstars shoulders, as he led the team in minutes, field goal attempts and makes, 3pt makes, free throw makes and attempts, rebounds, assists, turnovers, steals, blocks and points."
The Boston M.A.S.H. Unit: The Celtics were already missing Kevin Garnett, Glen "Big Baby" Davis, Tony Allen and Brian Scalabrine. Then they lost Leon Powe (who played only four minutes) after he bruised his right knee in a collision with Ben Gordon. That's five guys missing from the regular rotation, one of whom is the team's defensive lynchpin. Oh, and Ray Allen hyper-extended his right elbow and Rajon Rondo aggravated his ankle injury. Other than that, the Celtics are the picture of health. So in that light -- or should I say growing darkness -- it's not too surprising that Boston's defense utterly collapsed against the Bulls. Chicago scored 127 points, which is the most given up by the Celtics this season, while shooting 53 percent from the field. John Salmons matched his career-high by scoring 38 on 14-for-20 shooting. And down the stretch, the Bulls got a key offensive rebound (by Brad Miller), a reverse slam (by Salmons), and four layups (by Miller, Salmons and Derrick Rose). That's what typically happens to depleted teams in end-game situations...but that doesn't make it any less bawful.
Doc Rivers: Getting bounced in the last 30 seconds probably didn't help his team. But it wasn't Doc's fault. He was baited into getting tossed. Just ask him: "[Bill Kennedy] stood there and goaded me and goaded me and goaded me and stared at me. Look at the film. I actually walked away. He asked me, 'Where do you want the ball?' And I said, 'Ask them,' talking about our players. That's my right to say that, and I walked away. He stood there and stared me down and stared me down and goaded me until I turned around and said, 'What?' That's when I got thrown out of the game." Yeah, uh, Doc, I watched the game and it kinda sorta looked like there was a lot more talking going on than that. But I'm sure you were complimenting Bill on his shoes or something.
Bill Walker: From Basketbawful reader Mark L: "I was at the Bulls/Celtics game tonight. This seems WotN worthy. Upon entering the game with about 4 minutes left in the 1st quarter, Bill Walker promptly picked up three fouls. Bill goes bye-bye for the rest of the half. He came back in the game with about the same amount of time remaining in the 3rd quarter. He goes ahead and picks up another foul within 20 seconds of entering the game. (He shoulderblocked Brad Miller, then pulled back with the expression of "Oh shit, don't call that please!" all over his face) About a minute after foul numero 4, Bill picks up a technical. How, you may ask? After the whistle blew on a foul, good ol' Billy took it upon himself to try to posterize Brad Miller." Bill's basketball IQ is off the charts. But that's only because the charts don't go low enough to measure it.
The Dallas Mavericks: Richard Hamilton ("aggravated groin problem"), Rasheed Wallace (calf) and Allen Iverson (back) were all out of action. So it's not surprising that Detroit entered the fourth quarter down by 16. The Pistons then outscored the Mavs 37-23 in the final period and nearly stole the game. And this happened in Dallas, by the way. But Dirk Nowitzki was all "What me worry?" after the game: "Hey, stuff happens in this league. We'll take the wins as we can get them." And see, THAT'S the attitude that keeps Dirk from taking over the league. That general sense of This-is-good-enough-ness that just oozes out of him...and the rest of the team, for that matter. Which is why I just don't feel good about the Maverick's chances in the playoffs.
Some other numbers: Dallas outshot Detroit 56.7 percent to 42.4. So why'd they almost allow a monumental comeback? The Pistons crashed the boards for 17 offensive rebounds. It's a little thing we like to call effort.
Me: That Kevin Love sure is tearing sh*t up. He had 17 points (7-for-11) and 19 rebounds against the Spurs last night. You know, I might have been wrong about this guy...
The Washington
The Los Angeles Lakers: They outshot, outrebounded and out-assisted the Sixers. They just didn't outscore them. Philly overcame a 14-point fourth-quarter deficit and Andre Iguodala hit a three-point bomb at the buzzer to steal the Lakers' lunch money.
Okay, technically, Iggy had a hand in his face. But did that look like the kind of intense, game-on-the-line defense you'd expect from a championship contender? And, uh, did I mention that the Lakers had a foul to give? Said Phil Jackson: "I don't know if Trevor fully understood when I said we had a foul to use, because he did not use it. We don't like to use a foul, especially when they catch and shoot. But when you handle the ball -- and he took his time -- then it's time to use it." Whoopsie. Let's not forget, also, that L.A. let Donyell Marshall's corpse come in and nail three critical three-pointers in Philly's fouth-quarter comeback. Oh, and this was a home game for the Lakers. I'm just sayin'.
Kobe Byant: Mamba scored only 11 points and was limited to only 32 minutes of PT due to foul trouble. His other numbers: 5-for-15 from the field, 5 boards, 5 assists, 5 turnovers, 4 fouls and 3 blocked shots against. Random note: Kobe has missed 10 or more shots in 12 of the Lakers' 14 losses.
The Los Angeles Clippers: Let me get this straight. Baron Davis, Marcus Camby, Chris Kaman and Zach Randolph are finally all available...and the Clippers are still who we thought they were? Shocking. I could give you some analysis, but let's just say they played like crap and lost, okay? Here's your official postgame quote from Mike Dumbleavy: "A big game from Monta Ellis and I thought their bench killed us. They shot the ball really well; that's what they do. We didn't make them play defense on enough possessions." My favorite part of that quote is the "we didn't make them play defense on enough possessions" part. That's pretty hard to believe when a team attempts 97 shots and 36 free throws. But it's also totally true.
Lacktion report: No McDonald's commercial quotes this time. Just Chris and his continuing brilliant lacktion coverage.
Kings-Hawks: Thomas Gardner tended to his arboretum of awful stats tonight with a downtown-brick suck differential of +1 in 1:44 for Atlanta.Adam Waddell: This is why white guys shouldn't dunk:
Magic-Cavs: After a recent slump away from his All-Lacktion form, Tarence Kinsey seems to have sharpened his pincers again, at least by ESPN's understanding (which credits him with a Mario of indeterminate length). Yahoo however doesn't seem to think that this seafood-themed non-contribution ever occurred...one of the few times that a boxscore discrepancy has ESPN showing generosity in the name of lacktators everywhere.
Pistons-Mavs: Amir Johnson fouled twice for a +2 in 1:26.
Wizards-Jazz: Ronnie Price was charged with +3 via two giveaways and a foul in 3:18.
Bulls-Celtics: Gabe Pruitt and JR Giddens are fast becoming the lacktion duo for other negative stat chasers to hunt down, as the pair pressed the on button on a sluggish R.O.B. for an eight second stint as Super Mario Brothers! (Oh, and in a sign that the C's were not playing at their best, former trillionaire champion John Salmons was the leading scorer for Chicago. No, really.)
Sixers-Lakers: Theo Ratliff's block in his 4:21 denied him a suck differential, but not a 2:0 Voskuhl after fouls. Meanwhile, DJ Mbenga threw a right hook at a piggybank filled with 1.75 trillion in currency.
Thanks to Evil Ted for the link.
Devin Harris: Only the New Jersey Nets could NOT play but STILL lose big. (Okay, I suppose the Clippers could probably do it too.) It looks as though Harris will be sidelined indefinitely with a sprained left shoulder and strained deltoid muscle. Mind you, the Nets are currently 12th in the East and their playoff odds are looking grim. (A 2.7 percent chance of making the postseason is bad, right?) And Devin, as I like to remind everybody, is the guy who said "We knew we were going to be a playoff team" less than 20 games into the season. Now he won't even be around to try and make it happen. This may very well be one of the most damning stat curses I've seen in recent years.
The anti-Twitter sentiment: From Basketbawful reader dunkside: "Can I get a mention on the WotN for all those criticizing Charlie Villanueva for twittering? I mean really...how is that different from speaking to a teammate about no matter what or taking a piss? He took 2 freakin' minutes to text a message. It's not like he wasn't listening to coach Skiles. He did listen and he also ACTED on what he was being told. He took it upon himself to play better in the second half. He said 'I gotta step up' and he actually did it. And his team won. If I was Skiles, I'd tell him to twitter things like 'I'm gonna pull down 20 boards tonight' or 'I'll block 10 shots' before every game. Whatever gets him motivated. Don't you wish McGrady would have twittered 'I'll get to the 2nd round and not piss my talent away' about 5-6 years ago?"
I more or less agree with you, dunkside, but I also see the larger picture. Charlie used it as motivation. But I'm guessing that if halftime twittering caught on, not just on the Bucks or around the league, there would be lots of guys just screwing around and wasting time/losing focus/whatever. So Skiles had to make an example of Charlie to keep things from potentially getting out of hand. I've read countless stories about players making phone calls or sending texts when they're supposed to be practicing or listening or what have you. Coaches try to cut that stuff out, because most of the time it's a distraction, both for the players and his teammates. The only thing
Labels: Boston Celtics, Devin Harris, Joe Johnson, Los Angeles Clippers, Los Angeles Lakers, officiating, Sacramento Kings, Worst of the Night
In all honesty, I could probably just nominate the entire All-Star Weekend for a "Worst of." Millions of people vote for the All-Star starters, approximately 100 times that many people bitch and moan about who did or didn't make it in, and then NBA fans as a collective unit either dismiss or openly hate the game as well as all the side-events and hoopla that surround it. Plus, the players do the same thing. They go on and on about this or that teammate who should have gotten in, and then the guys who DO make it more or less sleepwalk through the three-day gala. I've never seen so many people care so avidly about something they couldn't care less about. But, since my pact with the Devil forces me to provide the masses with free comedy, here we go:
Dwyane Wade's fashion sense: If you watched the Rookie Challenge, you probably noticed that Steve Urkel was an assistant coach for the rookie team. But here's the thing: Jaleel White would have had to have taken an Andre the Giant-sized dose of HGH to fill out like that. (Plus, I'm pretty sure he served me at T.G.I. Friday's this weekend.) No, it was actually Dwyane Wade, who apparently got dressed by running through Bozo the Clown's closet at full speed with his eyes closed. The ensemble included a blue sports coat over a yellow v-neck sweater with a bow tie and glasses. Explained Wade: "It was a combination of a lot of different things. It was a tribute to one of my assistant coaches in Miami -- Keith Askins. He wears a bow tie. So I told him during the season, 'I'm going to show you how to wear it.' Also, I just wanted to try something new, being conservative. I brought the glasses because I was a coach so I thought I would look smart." Well, uh, misery accomplished, Pookie. Of course, it would turn out that Wade's outfit was only the second-worst clothing choice of the weekend. But more on that below.
Bill Laimbeer: Ugh. I would have rather seen him in D-Wade's outfit...even if Wade was still in it at the time:
When I see Karl Malone these days, I think: "Man, I hope I look that good when I'm his age." When I see Bill, I think: "If I ever look like that, I hope someone will shoot at me. And shoot to kill." This isn't the other fashion faux pas I was referring too, by the way. Keep reading. (P.S. Yes, I know this is last year's picture of Bill. I couldn't get one from this year. Can anybody help me out?)
The Rookie Challenge: The rooks actually have two wins in this series, in 2000 and 2002. (And get this: Dirk Nowitzki, a former regular season MVP, and Paul Pierce, last year's Finals MVP, were both on the sophomore team that lost in 2000.) But the sophomores still have an 8-2 edge in the series and, as of this weekend, now have seven straight wins. I'm just saying, it's getting a little sad. If you saw a beaver caught in a bear trap, wouldn't you set it free? You know, after you stopped laughing at all the "beaver" jokes you were going to tell your friends later? Of course you would. So please, David Stern, end the slaughter of our rookies. If LeBron's rookie team couldn't win and this year's exceptionally talented class couldn't break through, it's just an exercise in futility. Why not pit the rookies against the D-League All-Stars, as some people are suggesting?
All-Star HORSE, er, GEICO: Most of you already know how I detest the ridiculous renaming of this competition -- why not just call it something more appropriate, like TAMPAX or VAGISIL? -- but the contest failed in more than just its name. Look, I would have booed that game of HORSE/GEICO if I'd been forced to watch it at my weekly pickup league. The fact that NBA stars were bricking their way through that contest was enough to bring Pistol Pete back to life just so he could die again, only this time of shame and embarrassment. Kevin Durant eventually warmed up enough to make it mildly interesting in that "watching a spider slowly suck the blood out of a dead fly" kind of way. But that wasn't enough to save it.
I suppose the game was semi-doomed from the start, probably for a couple reasons. First off, when the NBA held HORSE games back in the 1970's, the winner got $15,000. I know it may not sound like a lot these days, but according to Basketball-Reference.com, Pete Maravich made $600,000 in 1978-79...so that $15K represented a pretty sizable bonus. I couldn't find out how much prize money Geico was putting up for this year's competition, but relative to Joe Johnson's $14,232,566 salary, the winnings would have had to be in the $350,000 range to equal the Pistol's prize for winning 30ish years ago. Since I seriously doubt Geico paid out that much, I'm guessing that the money wasn't exactly a motivator.
Secondly, today's players are all wacky about pride and respect. Don't get me wrong. So were Pistol Pete, Bob McAdoo and all those guys HORSEing around in the 70's. But go back and watch one of those old HORSE showdowns. You can tell they took it seriously. Durant, Johnson and O.J. Mayo played with a kind of mock casualness so that, if/when they lost, they could just shrug their shoulders and say it was no big deal. That way, they wouldn't lose face. But while I'm sure it helped Johnson and Mayo sleep a little better that night (and shrug off all the trash talk), it certainly robbed the game of anything remotely resembling intensity. And personally, I think some intensity would have made them shoot a little better. But what do I know?
Tony Parker's skillz: There's no shame in losing the Skills Challenge to a rookie, not when that rookie is Derrick Rose. There is, however, more than a little shame in getting bounced in the first round with a course time of 50.8 seconds...a full 17.5 ticks after Rose. But it gets better (or worse for Mr. Longoria): That finish made TP the proud owner of the two slowest times ever recorded in Skills Challenge history. (He slogged through the course in 45.5 seconds in 2003.) Duncan face!
The Slam Dunk Shamockery: Let's face some facts: Nate Robinson shouldn't have won it, okay? Yes, he's a freak of nature and it's amazing that a man who's only four feet tall can slam dunk a basketball with enough force to create tiny alternate realities full of four-foot men who can dunk. But his winning slam -- which will probably go down in NBA history as the "Kryptonite Dunk" -- was a shamockery. Watch:
Like Reggie Miller immediately pointed out, Nate didn't jump over Dwight Howard; he used his off arm to vault off of Howard's back. Why not just let Robinson use a trampoline? Or wires? Or let George Lucas CGI the dunk? Freaking Howard dunked on a 12-foot rim and then almost slammed it home from the free throw line. Dwight won this contest. It was the biggest rip-off since 2006 when -- surprise, surprise -- Robinson beat Andre Iguodala despite the fact that it TOOK HIM 14 TRIES to complete his final slamma-jamma (it took Iggy only two tries).
Look, I know the little guys are always the sentimental favorites, but come on. Oh, and by the way, Rudy Fernández got totally hosed by the judges. Bet if he were half a foot shorter he would have won it.
Craig Sager: At least Dwyane Wade was (I guess) trying to be funny. But Craig Sager -- who's long been known for his rather horrific sense of fashion -- hit a new, all-time low, even for him: Pink sports coat with a red hanky, pink and white striped shirt, blue tie with purple polka dots and red pants. So hideous that Kevin Garnett told him to burn it as soon as he got home. I can only hope for the sake of our children’s eyes that Sager took KG's advice.
Phil Jackson: I guess that P-Jax didn't get the memo that the All-Star game is intended to be a fun and entertaining exhibition of basketball for the fans. Dude single-handedly spoiled whatever fun might have been had by employing a friggin' ZONE DEFENSE for most of the game. Really, Phil? A zone?! It's the f'ing All-Star game! Who the frick wants to see a zone?! Seriously, that made me so angry I would like to spend the rest of my life punching Phil in the face and/or groin. Instead of nifty passes and impressive dunks, we got to watch the Eastern Conference All-Stars brick away from the outside (8-for-35 from downtown).
Said KG: "Well I felt like [the three-point shot] was the only option. It was the first All-Star game I've seen that you couldn't into the paint, and that was odd. I'm sure they had a strategy for winning. ... It's a weekend for entertaining and high-flying, I don't think people want to see zones and all that." No kidding. Added Dwight Howard: "I think on defense they played a zone, so we couldn't get to the rack. It was tough for us to get into the paint. It seemed like they had Shaq, Yao and Amare and Tim (Duncan) and everybody in the paint loaded up."
Look, I understand that the point of any game is, in most instances, to win. But that's not the goal of the All-Star Game. The point then is to wow a fanbase that is becoming increasingly angry and disconsolate every year. Instead of trying to make the people happy, Jackson put his own desire to win-win-win ahead of everything else. Congrats, Phil. I'm glad that operation to remove your shame gland was such a glorious success.
Dwight Howard: First he was the prop that propelled Nate Robinson to the 2009 Slam Dunk Championship. Then he was the prop that propelled Shaq to become co-MVP of the All-Star game. Way to stand in the right place at the right time, Dwight.
The MVP selection: Kobe got a co-nod for gunning (a game-high 23 shots). Shaq got a co-nod for dunking and that sweet give-and-go. But what about Chris Paul? He ran the show and amost finished with a triple-double (14 points, 7 rebounds, 14 assists) plus 3 steals. But All-Star MVP selection is almost always about scoring, so what did anybody expect? Still, the role that the point guards play in this game is always underrated.
Update! Chris's lacktion report: Joe Johnson had probably one of the worst ASG performances of all time, on the heels of being first eliminated in HOR...er...GEICO with a missed granny shot: In 21:38, he bricked four times (three pieces of masonry from downtown), took a rejection, and gave the ball away to the West on FIVE occasions. That's a suck differential of...+10. Wow.
And when the East lost by 27, being a -28 lacktator is absolutely bawful. Bawful enough that his local paper found his scorelessness worth writing about. Johnson's line was so sleep inducing that CP3 tried to use him as a pillow. But Paul was kind enough to play hot potato with Johnson. On the other hand, Chauncey Billups' new defensive appproach to another poor entry from the Atlanta all-star into the key has Shaq dumbfounded.
Labels: All-Star Game, Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade, Joe Johnson, Nate Robinson, Phil Jackson, Worst of the Weekend
The Philadelphia 76ers: As if to add more misfortune to the Sixers' season of woe, Elton Brand suffered a shoulder dislocation after attempting to block a shot by Bucks forward
Now, here's a little theory I have. Let's assume Brand misses, say, a month. You just watch. Philly will start fast breaking again -- which was their bread and butter last season -- and go on a little mini-streak in Brand's absence. Seriously.
I'll tell you what: If anything, this incident proves that Zach Randolph is an upgrade (for the Clippers) over Elton Brand in one specific area. He will never, ever suffer a serious injury while trying to play defense. I promise you that.
Scott Skiles, anger machine: The thing I really appreciated about Skiles when he was coaching in Chicago is that he doesn't mince words. He tells it like he sees it. This is quite a departure from what I hear out of Vinny Del Negro, who talks about his team like he's deathly afraid of offending someone. Walking on eggshells might spare a few egos, but spare the rod, spoil the child, you know?
However, I've noticed that Skiles' disgust is growing with every game his team drops. It's like every loss is a Dixie cup full of rat droppings and bug parts getting poured down his gullet. Here's what he said after his team's latest loss: "We had a bunch of guys who looked like they didn't feel like playing from the opening tip. We were just heavy-legged, slow-footed. We couldn't get up and down the floor and had tremendous trouble guarding them. We got exactly what we deserved. I'm bewildered by my team. I've got a really bad taste in my mouth. It was a very poor all-around effort by us." I can kinda see where he's coming from, considering the team's two biggest investments -- Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut -- combined for 12 points (plus Redd shot 2-for-13 and Bogut had a game-high 4 turnovers). But still, it's awfully early to start alienating your team. Which, as we all know, is a Skiles specialty.
Danny Granger, reality defier: You might not know this since he's a Pacer and all, but Granger signed a five-year extension worth up to $65 million earlier this season. And, despite the big payday, he's gotten better. Much better, actually. Granger's currently averaging career highs in scoring (24.4), assists (3.2), blocks (1.4) and free throw percentage (88.2) while also chipping in 5.3 rebounds per game. Oh, and his PER has jumped from 16.7 to 20.1. Last night, he scored 13 of his game-high 41 points in the final six and a half minutes to lead the Pacers to victory. He also had 11 rebounds and 6 assists, and was 17-for-17 from the foul line. I guess not everybody suffers from the Contract Year Phenomenon.
And sure, he exploded against the Warriors' non-defense, but still...Indy was without starters T.J. Ford (left groin strain) and Troy Murphy (flu-like symptoms!). I mean, come on, the Pacers haven't had a step-it-up type player since Reggie Miller retired.
The Golden State Warriors: Did I mention they gave up 127 points and got pounded on the boards by a Pacers team that was missing two of its best players? Well, they did.
Corey Maggette: I read in the AP game notes that Maggette is still out with that strained right hamstring and that he's played in only 16 of the Warriors' 25 games. This reminded me of an email I recently received from Basketbawful reader Mark L, who claimed to have a new nickname for Mags: "They've started to call him 'Bad Porn' at various Warriors boards. Their justification? 'Sure, there's penetration and scoring, but are you really happy with what you're seeing?'" I loved this one so much that I wanted to lock it in my storage space and keep it from the rest of the world. Then I realized that the rest of the worlds' needs are greater than my own. There's not need to thank me. (But really, there is. So, you know, thank me and stuff.)
Bill Walton, man love quote machine: From Andrei: "Ok, I have a submission for either the 'quote machine' or 'man love' features, possibly both. On the pre-game show for the Celtics-Hawks game I just heard Bill Walton say 'Stuart, I love the little pretty boys' in reference to Chris Paul and Tony Parker. Anyone else pick up on that?" Yes. Gotta love The Walton.
Joe Johnson: Look, on the surface, it might look like there's a lot to criticize about the Celtics-Hawks game. Boston shot 44 percent and Atlanta shot 36 percent. The teams combined for 27 turnovers which is a lot for such a low-possession game. But the mitigating factor is that this was a rivalry game played with MAN-type intensity. In the end, the Celtics won it because, quite simply, they made the plays they had to make down the stretch (especially KG, who was 5-for-5 in the fourth quarter and also had a couple sweet assists to Kendrick Perkins and Rajon Rondo).
But still, the Hawks could have won this game if Joe Cool had played a little better. Johnson was 6-for-16 and only 1-for-7 from downtown, but his biggest boner of the night was blowing the second of two free throws with 2.7 seconds. Hitting it would have tied the game. Missing it, well, pretty much lost the game. He had been 7-for-7 before the clank. Said Johnson: "I had a chance to get us into overtime and missed the second free throw. I made the first one and some of the pressure was off." Some...but apparently not enough. The best/worst part: The Atlanta fans were chanting "M-V-P!" during Johnson's trips to the line. Speaking of of the fans...
Atlanta "fans": I noticed several Lakers jerseys/sweatshirts/whatever in the Atlanta crowd, including one Kareem jersey. What's up with that?
Glen Davis: From Chris: "Another gem from tonight's broadcast: the video from practice where Big Baby slipped on the Phillips Arena floor while in sweatpants and all. I wonder if that's going to be on YouTube any time soon." Not yet, alas. Almost (but not quite) as good as watching Baby fall on his face was hearing Mark Jackson freak out and say "Big Baby, you're better than that!" afterward. Uh, Mark, I don't know which Glen Davis YOU'VE been watching this season...
Ray Allen, unintentionally dirty quote machine: From Michael W: "Not sure if this qualifies as unintentionally dirty quote machine, but Ray Allen is credited with this little gem after the BOS-ATL match (via ESPN match report): 'Sometimes it seems as though it's a burden. That monkey grows. It's a good monkey though.' Better than a bad monkey, Ray. Or a monkey with a knife. Plus he shot 1-of-8 from downtown which surely qualifies for a Worstie." Yeah. He missed a lot of threes. But they were good misses.
Marvin Williams: Basketbawful reader Aram sent in this picture of M-Will giving Paul Pierce "The Bad Touch." Only Paul's face says that was "The Really Bad Touch."
The Toronto Raptors: Check out this smackdown from the AP game recap: "Down by 12 points after one quarter, the Dallas Mavericks knew better than to panic. Instead, they waited for the struggling Toronto Raptors to crack. It didn’t take long." Added Jason Terry: "We knew they blew a big lead the other night, so we didn't get down (after the first). We just said 'Keep grinding. If we can put some doubt in their mind they may fold,' and that's what we were able to do in the second and third quarter." And a little more from Devean George: "The whole team looked frustrated, some doubt started to come into their mind. They started off smoking, but it's a 48 minute game. When you see guys going, 'Not again,' that kind of feeds into the other team. We all kind of sensed that. They were really frustrated when things weren’t going right and we started making a run."
Okay, when opposing teams and even the Associated Press know they can count on you to collapse...that's bad. The dinos have now lost three straight and are 2-6 since Jay Triano replaced Sam Mitchell.
Chris Bosh: Did he struggle? Yeah, I guess you could call scoring only 12 points on 6-for-20 shooting "struggling." He also went 0-for-5 in the third quarter, which included a missed dunk. It was a performance, both individually and as a team that was well worth booing, but Bosh wasn't happy when that exact thing happened...
The Toronto crowd: Look, we all understand why you guys are happy. You live in Canada and your team sucks more than expected. But they can't rally if you don't support them. What the Raptors need now is love, sweet love, it's the only thing that there's just too little of. Just ask Chris Bosh: "If I want to get booed, I'll go on the road. It's really tense right now. When you're down three points at home and you're getting booed, that's kind of disheartening. Whether the crowd knows it or not, they play a big part in the game." Again, I understand the reasons behind the booing, but you know, he has a point.
The Utah Jazz's first quarter: Gak, what a bad start by the Jazz. They shot 3-for-19 (16 percent) -- which included streaks of six and later eight misses in a row -- and had 7 turnovers. And it took a Morris Almond jumper with 2.8 seconds left to avoid matching the worst quarter in franchise history. (Utah scored five points in the second quarter against the Lakers on December 1, 1981.) After that misguided mess of basketball, the Jazz found themselves down 27-7. Fortunately, they were facing...
The New Jersey Nets: Yes, my friends, they are who we thought they were. The Nets choked up a 22-point lead and ended up losing by 11 (and dropped to 4-8 at home in the process). It was the largest lead they've wasted since January 29, 2001 when they surrendered a 23-point lead to a 23-win Vancouver Grizzlies team. The Nets let the Jazz score 72 points on 64 percent shooting in the second half while getting outrebounded 53-36. Fail.
The Washington Wizards: Here are the facts. Do with them what you will. The Wiz scored 74 points on 33 percent shooting. They missed nine free throws and had only 13 assists (and 12 turnovers). They fell to 4-19, which makes them only two games better than the Klahma City Thunder. And Mike James is now their starting point guard. Yes, they suck. They suck bad. Speaking of James...
Mike James, quote machine: "I keep saying I'm grateful this is the Eastern Conference. You can be 10 games under .500 and still be playing for the eighth (playoff) spot." Uh, yeah, Mike...only you guys are 15 games under .500 and a full SEVEN games out of eighth place. But don't let little things like math and reality stand in the way of your delusions of mediocrity.
Rasheed Wallace: It has been said that 'Sheed plays better after getting T'd up. Well, he earned a tech last night and yet finished with 2 points on 1-for-8 shooting (including 0-for-4 from distance) and only 4 rebounds. So, you know, maybe what's known isn't what's known.
The Minnesota Timberwolves: Not that anybody expected them to beat the Cavs, but they still lost by 23 points at home. It was their 11th straight defeat and sixth in a row since Kevin McHale took over the coaching reigns. But since McHale thinks that bloggers are costing coaches their jobs, I'm not going to say anything.
Rashad McCants: The line: 0-for-8, 2 points, 3 fouls. He doesn't even deserve a one-liner. Meh, to you, Rashad. Meh, I say!
Eric Gordon: He earned "True Clipper" status last night by fouling Ben Gordon on a three-point attempt when his team was leading by 4 points with 20 seconds left. Ben hit the shot and the ensuing free throw to tie things up. The game went into overtime and the Clippers, naturally, lost. Gordon, who also committed a critical turnover in overtime, was not available for comment after the game.
By the way, after the loss, Timothy P sent me the following email: "Just wanted to say thanks for the curse...'By the way, has anybody noticed that Zach Randolph is fitting in really well with the Clippers? In point of fact, he's playing a lot better than post-surgery Elton Brand. And the Clips have won three in a row. Who knows? It could turn out that Brand leaving was a good thing for the other L.A. team.' You managed to write this the same day Brand did a flying pirouette over somebody's shoulder, landed upside down, and dislocated his own shoulder. But who knows? It could turn out that Brand getting hurt is a good thing for the Sixers."
Yeah. Sorry 'bout that Clippers fan. I know what it looks like, but I really wasn't going for the stat curse just 'cause I live in Chicago and support the Bulls and knew the Clips were coming into town last night. Really I wasn't...
Andres Nocioni: Noc forced a big turnover in overtime when he flopped to the floor while defending Zach Randolph. And the NBA said they were going to stop the flop! Z-Bo was pretty angry, both at the time and after the game. And so was Marcus Camby: "It's frustrating because everybody in the league, everybody in the building knows what he does. He flops, but he got the benefited of the call tonight so we just have to take this one on the chin and we have try to regroup and we have two more games on this road trip." No bitterness there. None at all.
Spurs versus Hornets: Chris Paul set an NBA record for getting a steal in his 106th straight regular-season game while Tim Duncan passed the 10,000 career rebound mark. So, yeah, history was made, but that did not make this a game worth watching. Ugly. I walked away to do some things and came back early in the second quarter...and it was 15-14. The Spurs also scored only 13 in the fourth. Painful. Like a giant cyst on your back that's about to burst. And then you realize it's filled with crawling insects.
Also, an anonymous commenter asked me to mention the following two bonus pooper scoopers: "Hey Bawful, in the next WotN can you mention the stat curse the commentators put on Matt Bonner. They were talking about his league leading three-point percentage only to have him go 1-8 from downtown and 3-15 altogether. Although in hindsight it is Matt Bonner, so it probably wasnt a stat curse just matt being normal. And also the random Hornets employee who wouldn't let the fans manning the CP3 steal count put it upto 106. He was standing there telling them not to do it. even while the fans were cheering CP3 and there was an announcement about him getting the record." Consider it mentioned, Mr. Anonymous. Also, d'you suppose that having Bonner attempt eight threes was really part of Pop's game plan? I tend to think not so much.
Manu Ginobili: Basketbawful reader Garron noted: "Great game. But, down by 4 with 30 seconds left he lost miserably on a jump ball against '6-foot on a very good day' Chris Paul." True dat. The only change I would make is "6-foot while standing on a couple decks of cards and maybe a small block of wood."
Evil Ted Addendum (spurs/hornets): At one point late in this game, Tyson Chandler was called for goaltending. It was a legit and fairly obvious call, so nothing horrible there...but Jeff Van Gundy proceeds with a mini-rant that sounds something like "I don't know how any human being could possibly detect goaltending...they should have balls that light up when they start on their downward arc...I seriously have no idea how a human could possibly call a goaltend..." I found it very disturbing to hear a commentator AND former coach say something so dumb about one of the most straightforward aspects of the game - ball going down, no touchie. Maybe Gundy just enjoys the sound of his own voice?
The Laction report: Basketbawful reader Chris was kind (or perhaps obsessed) enough to compile all the trillionaires, suck differentialists and Mario brothers of the night:
Even with ESPN cameras on for two games, it couldn't stop some of the best practitioners of lactivity from shining brightly (or is that "fading dimly" in this context), even in one of those two national games! And, being doubly inspired tonight, I decided to do a salary comparison between their on-court non-performance and their actual earnings, to see how much randomly standing on the floor, or negatively contributing to the team, can be worth.Kobe Bryant: While in the bathroom of the Lakers' locker room, Mamba asked Luke Walton where the nearest bathroom was. When Luke gave him a puzzled look in response, Kobe said: "I'm not looking for a toilet, you moron, I'm looking for a bathroom. Haven't you ever taken a bath? Apparently not. No wonder it smells like crap in here." And Luke began to cry.
(BTW, I still haven't decided what term is best for a suck differentialist -- a "vacuum" or a "lollipop", I think a "vacuum" has to especially suck, say have a double digit SD or more than 10 minutes of playing time with a SD, while a lollipop has a single digit SD in less than 10 minutes of playing time.)
Shawne Williams of the Mavs ($1,572,960 this year/$19,182.44 a game) was one field goal away from a +4 in a full 10 minute lacktion session -- about $5000 for each SD marker he accrued; on the other side of the court, Kris Humphries ($3,200,000 this year/$39,024.39 a game) was a +1 in 1:53 of playing time for the Raptors, his missed field goal squandering away a revenue-generating opportunity. Guess you can't trust Humphries with your 401(k).
The Wizards' JaVale Mcgee was a steal away from a +1 in 2:31 of lacktion - is that a "Non-Trillion Almost As Valuable As Others?" It did help contribute to a 14 point loss, though it did not make him wealthy. (In real dollars though, he makes $1,392,240 this year, which is $16,978.54 a game.)
CJ Miles for Utah, in trying to become a true lollipop, was a +4 in a whopping 6:28 of playing time -- as a starter! -- and while +/- is not considered for SD numbers, he was -12, truly making him a Minus Man. (6 players for the Jazz -- FOUR from the bench had double digit positive +/- numbers tonight.) I guess his sweet, sweet negative lacktivity was overshadowed by his team's depth. This year's salary for him is $3,700,000 or $45,121.95 a game -- so he earned a sugary $11,280.49 for every SD marker he racked up!
Cleveland steamrolled McHale's Navy of Conscripts (appropriate given Telfair's arsenal shenangians), having enough garbage time to bring out Darnell Jackson as the biggest lollipop of the night, with 6:53 of lacktion punctuated by a SD of +7! That's a ratio of over one bad play a minute! However, he cannot be blamed for the usual cries of "LeBron lacks a supporting cast" that inevitably lead to "LeBron to Somewhere Else in 2010, Says The Media Hype Train" - he is making a mere $450K this year, only $5487.80 a game - so his cap hit per SD point is $783.96, a real bargain in the league nowadays and an easily afforadble option for those looking for a waste disposal expert. Speaking of the conscripts from Minneapolis, Kevin Love scored a grand total of 0 points on 4 shots.
In typical fashion, Donald Sterling's squad serves as a breeding ground of nothingness, with Steve Novak providing a 30 second Mario (at $797,581 this season/$9726.60 a game, he has clearly found the secret to getting rich fast), while Clippers teammate Brian Skinner - 22nd overall pick by this team in 1998 -- chose to walk away from the treasure chest and stock options by blocking one shot, thus avoiding a +1 in three minutes of lacktion. (Skinner's sole blocked shot was probably his best effort in trying to show Mr. Sterling that the contract year phenomenon applies to him, as he makes $1,262,275 this year, or $15,393.60 a game. Wanna bet that's enough for Sterling and Dunleavy to give this guy another blank check?) Oh, and the Clips only successfully made one shot in OT, unsurprisingly losing.
While the big talk in the Crescent City was CP3's 106th consecutive game with a steal, he was not assisted by fellow Hornet Sean Marks, who chose to forego a possible payday of 9 trillion in favor of taking the role of team lollipop, with a +5 through three missed shots and 2 personal fouls. (Marks, clearly bad enough to not be assisted by the contract year phenomenon, is making $1,141,838 in the last year of his deal -- $13,924.85 a game, or more specifically, $2784.97 per SD point!) On the other bench, Fabricio Oberto gave the Spurs a 40 second Mario, at the price of $3,500,000 this year/$42,682.93 a game - one of THE most expensive Marios in memory.
Man, I am still in awe at earning $42,682.93 to just stand there for 40 seconds and then get back on the bench. No wonder he doesn't mind being "used in any role" as this article states.
It's amazing how this somewhat sabermetric analysis of lacktion can be really revealing -- and make you wonder how so many GMs in this league do not understand the stupidity of spending $42K a game, or $11K a SD point, to have someone take up roster space.
And did anyone else catch Stuart Scott in the midst of the ESPN broadcast describing the upcoming Spurs game as "redicufied," a completely new and meaningless word that seems straight out of the Lovetron Language Primer?
Labels: Andres Nocioni, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Joe Johnson, New Orleans Hornets, Philadelphia 76ers, San Antonio Spurs, scott skiles, Washington Wizards, Worst of the Night
Andre Iguodala: Philadelphia's leading scorer (19.9 PPG) has a total of 20 points on 5-for-24 shooting in two playoff games against the Pistons. In last night's blowout loss, he managed only 4 points on 1-for-9 from the field. In my preview for this series, I said: "In the two (regular season) games Philly won, Andre Iguodala scored 22 and 25 points...Iggy's got to score for the Sixers to stay competitive." And what do you know? Last night he didn't score and they couldn't stay competitive. Dismissed as coincidence. Seriously, though, Iguodala needs to become more aggressive and really take it to the Pistons in Game 3. This means more drives and fewer jumpshots (seven of his nine FGAs last night were jumpers). Which should be easier, since the Sixers will be at home (which always curtails the opposing team's hands-on defense).
Andre Miller: He did decent job scoring the basketball (14 points, 6-for-11) but not passing it (3 assists, 3 turnovers). I also noted in my series preview that: "Andre Miller has to keep the offense running." He's much more valuable to his team as a playmaker than as a scorer (although his scoring his important too). He can't let Detroit turn him into more of a scorer than a setup man.
Philly's defense: I know they ran into a buzzsaw, because the Pistons were determined to redeem themselves after losing Game 1. But still...no club should be allowed to shoot 55 percent as a team in the postseason. This is the playoffs, man. The playoffs.
Mike Bibby: Bibs played pretty poorly in Game 1 -- 5 points, 2-for-10 shooting, 1 assist, 2 turnovers -- much to the raucous delight of the Celtics' home crowd. His response? Well, Bibby uncharacteristically fired a few volleys at the Boston faithful: "They are fair-weather fans if you ask me. They were kind of loud in the beginning (of Game 1), but a lot of those fans are bandwagon jumpers trying to get on this now. I played here last year, too (with the Sacramento Kings), and I didn't see three-quarters of them. They're for the team now and they might get a little rowdy, but that's about it."
Those were stupid words delivered at the worst possible time, and Boston center Kendrick Perkins couldn't believe it: "He said what? Coming off a 2-for-10 night shooting, you'd say something like that, too." Of course, Bibby -- already on a roll -- couldn't let that one go: "I don't know where (Perkins) got this tough streak from. His stat line was worse than mine. Anybody else, I might take a little (bit differently). Until he does something in his career, for him to come at me like that, it kind of upsets me."
Was he ever. Mikey-boy was so troubled by Perkins and his unfair comments that he went out and shot 2-for-7 and had 1 lonely assist. That'll teach that loser, Mike! Meanwhile, Rajon Rondo out-veteren-ed Bibby for the second straight game (12 points, 6-for-11, 6 rebounds, 8 assists, 4 steals). It got so bad that Atlanta coach Mike Woodson to replaced Bibby with bench monkey Acie Law IV. (And it should be noted that Law hit as many field goals in 21 minutes as Bibby has in Games 1 and 2.) The Boston Bandwagoneers noticed this, of course, and not only cheers for Bibby's return ("Whe-eres Bib-ee?") but also let him know where he ranks in the point guard food chain ("Ron-do's be-tter!" )
And you know what? Bibby still wouldn't shut up.
After the game, Bibs again went after both Perkins ("I thought he tried to hit me a couple of times, but I didn't really feel it.") and Celtics fans ("They know who they are. If they took offense, they must be part of it. I guess they are all bandwagon jumpers."). Keep talkin', Mike. Just keep on talkin'...
Josh Smith: Smith certainly played poorly enough to warrant WotN consideration -- 3-for-13 shooting, 5 turnovers, 5 personal fouls -- but the real reason he's here is because of something that happened less than a minute and a half into the game. Smith committed a hard foul on Paul Pierce in which he took Paul Pierce down, landed on him, and then rolled over his head. And I'm sorry, but you cannot tell me that occurred purely by accident. Pierce had to leave the game for a while, but it didn't effect the outcome. We'd probably have heard a lot more about this play if it had.
Joe Johnson: The Hawks' captain scored 11 points -- about half of his regular season average -- on 4-for-10 shooting, and he had 5 turnovers to only 1 assist. Now he knows how the captain of the Hindenburg felt.
Update! Mario West: Basketbawful reader friesenth gave me the following reminder: "You forgot to mention Mario West and his 31 seconds of zero-for-everything lack-tion." Indeed I did. Sorry.
Tony Allen: The low point last night for the Celtics was Allen's three trillion.
The Enver Nuggets: The Lakers scored 122 points on 50 percent shooting. Kobe went off for 49 points and 10 assists. And the Nuggets' defense -- which relies on ramble-scramble action and forced turnovers -- took the ball away from L.A. only 11 times. I said this over and over and over during the regular season: Enver uses a gimmick defense that cannot work consistently against disciplined teams. Which the Lakers (and most other playoff teams) are. And yet all sorts of people wanted to argue with me because they Nuggets ranked in the top ten in defensive efficiency. So...where are all those people now? Hello? Anybody out there? And for the record: According to Hollinger's latest stats, the Nuggets rank next to last in defensive efficiency during the playoffs (ahead of only Dallas). That sound you just heard was checkmate.
Kenyon Martin: This is what I wrote in my NBA Closer column today: "Assume that you're on a team that barely squeaked into the playoffs. Further assume that your team is perhaps hopelessly overmatched no matter what you do. Now assume you're facing off against the opposing team's best player, and that player is Kobe Bryant. Do you a) Pull a Shane Battier and work your butt off on D while quietly hoping for the best, b) Clothesline his arrogant ass, or c) Talk some smackity-smack to get him mad? Of course, the right answer is a, the righter answer is b, and the idiot's answer is c. Guess which one Kenyon Martin chose?" In other news, Kobe scored 49 points and the Lakers routed the Nuggets. But speaking of Kobe...
Kobe Byrant: Warning!! Kobe lovers should turn back now, or skip ahead to the next entry. If you are a Kobe lover and can't help but read the following criticisms, then please answer the embedded questions before going off on your own diatribe.
Leave it to the Mamba to use a brilliant game as an excuse to exude arrogance and classlessness...again. This was Game 2 of a first-round series. I repeat: Game 2 of a first-round series. Great players on great teams don't freak out about playing well in the first round, particularly in non-deciding games. I mean, other than Michael's crazy jumping-in-the-air celebration after hitting The Shot over Craig Ehlo in Game 5 of Chicago's first-round series against the Cavaliers, can you ever remember Jordan getting all smug about crushing some hapless eighth seed? And even in that example, Michael was at that time a five-year pro who had only ever won a single playoff series. Kobe's a 12-year veteran who's been on three title teams.
Yet there was Kobe, doing his fist pumps, flexing his biceps Hulk Hogan-style, blowing smoke off his fingers like he was poppin' caps, and screaming in primal rage. He also popped his jersey about 40 times after a made shot. Seriously. Watch the video. I know he's excited and everything, but is all that crowing really necessary? Does a (potential) MVP need to act that way? I mean, has any other NBA legend -- Bird, Chamberlain, Hakeem, Jordan, Kareem, Magic, Malone, Oscar, Robinson, Russell, Stockton, West -- ever rubbed a spectacular performance in his opponents' noses this much during an early game of a first round series? That's the exclusive province of guys like Chuck Person. You kind of don't expect that crap from an MVP candidate. Well, unless that candidate is Kobe.
(And for the record, I predicted this would happen.)
Update! Doc posted the following comment to this post: "Those are fair criticisms of Kobe. But why not weigh in against Garnett as well? He spent the fourth quarter pulling the same moves (screaming into the air, raising his arms to the crowd, shaking his head threateningly) against a sub-.500 playoff opponent that the Celtics were beating by 20. This is after Garnett had been shooting around 36% from the field. Kobe at least turned in a dominating all-around performance against a 50-win team, who were within 5 at one point of the fourth quarter. Can't argue with you that he has a real hard time exhibiting class, but those standards should be applied across the board, especially when the other guy in question is your MVP choice."
Those are good points, Doc. I'm slightly abashed to admit that I stepped away from the fourth quarter of that game to do a few things...so I didn't see KG's antics. For the record, I wouldn't have appreciated them. There is one caveat, though, which is tha Garnett has acted that way for most of his career: Winning, losing, up 20, down 20, in big games, in meaningless games. It's part of that whole intense "wildman" persona he uses to amp up his game. It just seems more like a natural behavior -- like a tea kettle letting off steam or a dog humping your leg -- than what Kobe did. You get the feeling that KG can't contain his freakosity; when Kobe does it, he's clearly trying to show his opponents up.
Update! George Karl: Once again, my oversights are corrected by a reader. Rob Mahoney from Upside and Motor had this to say: "Wait, you put Kenyon Martin and the Nugs on Worst of the Night, but no mention of George Karl? No love for the mastermind who decided Martin and Edward Najera were good covers for Kobe? I honestly think his Karlness would be offended that you wouldn't feature him in a post about the worst of the NBA." Far be it from me to offend somebody who took the "D" out of Enver.
Steven Hunter and Ira Newble: One of the hidden subplots of the Nuggets-Lakers series is the duel between lousy roleplayers. Hunter and Newble each had a one trillion last night.
Reggie Miller: Rob S. let us know that Reggie continues to give color commentary lessons in the Knave's English: "I'm just watching the Lakers-Nuggets game and there's about 4 minutes left in the third and Reggie Miller just said, 'Kobe garnishes a lot of attention,' like Kobe is a sprig of cilantro or something. One might suspect he meant to say Kobe GARNERS a lot of attention, but at this point I really don't think Reggie even knows what he means to say. Awful." As a long-time Pacers fan, I officially have no comment. (Although my unofficial comment is, "Gak.") Update! Another Miller-related tidbit from Austen: "How about an extra 'Worst of the Night' bit for Reggie Miller for that idiotic bit during the Nuggets-Lakers game regarding the Celtics/Lakers Finals Matchups. He went through three minutes worth of stats only to have his final point be 'so as you can see, having that #1 Seed is a real plus!' No s***, Sherlock!"
Update! ESPN, TNT, NBA TV, and ABC: More from Austen: "Another Worst of the Night should go to ESPN/TNT/NBA TV/ABC for completely ignoring the Jazz/Rockets series once the Jazz won that first game. Ever since then (and I noticed this last night), whenever the commentators would remind everyone of the games coming up the next couple of days, the next in the Jazz/Rockets series would be conveniently left out. The commentators wouldn't mention it, and there wouldn't be a line of text about it on the screen, either. I know the Jazz have this series sewn up and the league despises the Jazz in general for being a small market team knocking out big market teams, but this series still has 2 games left! I wonder if this is as insulting to Rockets fans as it is to this Jazz fan."
Labels: Andre Iguodala, Andre Miller, Denver Nuggets, Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Kenyon Martin, Kobe Bryant, Mike Bibby, Philadelphia 76ers, Reggie Miller, Tony Allen
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