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| Gerald finds a way to make to boos go away |
The Bobcats' starters: On the surface a 2 point loss isn't too bad by Bobcat standards, even if it did come at home, and against the Cavaliers—one of the few teams in the league that actually has a worse record. At least the bench wasn't too blame; they scored 59 points, which left just 45 for the starters. That didn't compare well with the 87 points scored by Cleveland's starters. If nothing else, the Cats are to be commended for resisting the urge to get the hometown crowd's hopes up by building on their win over the Bulls and engaging in any kind of winning streak. Charlotte fans were given a far more dubious cause for celebration with the return of Tyrus Thomas, quite possibly the greyest silver lining since the Hindenburg crash only actually killed 36% of the airship's passengers.
The Nets and the Wizards: The Wizards get a mention because they lost the game, while the Nets are at a loss for excuses to justify needing two overtimes to dispatch the league's worst team. Wait, what am I talking about? Of course they have an excuse—it was P.J. Carlesimo's fault. Now that that's been settled, I'll move on.
The Raptors: Some teams just don't have any luck. This game could've occurred during any one of the many days DeMarcus Cousins sat out due to conduct detrimental to the team, but instead the volatile pivot boogied his way across the border and didn't return until he had amassed 31 points and a career-high tying 20 rebounds. Most of the credit for this belongs to Keith Smart, who has pioneered a new technique where DeMarcus Cousins, upon putting up young Shaq numbers, is allowed 20 minutes of screaming vulgarities into Smart's face.
The mood at Air Canada Center was even bleaker than usual after the game, as nobody could figure out a way to blame this embarrassing loss on Andrea Bargnani. A few fans were able to take perverse comfort in Sam Mitchell's recent revelations that management made him coddle Bargnani like a giant, #1 draft pick baby. In case your interested but don't feel like clicking on the link, Mitchell says Calderon wasn't coddled, and that's why he's been able to win ballgames lately.
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| Wherever that ball is going, it's not good for the Sixers |
The 76ers: I don't know what's sadder for Philadelphia fans, that the Sixers lost by over 20 points to the Thunder, or that there doesn't seem to be anything notable or surprising about that. Generally when teams are led in scoring by Nick Young off of the bench, it's either a really good night or a really bad one, and Friday's loss did absolutely nothing to dispel this notion.
The Grizzlies: Memphis sure could've used Zach Randolph and any potentially lingering angry feelings towards the team that drafted him, but the forward was unable to draw on any fading memories of Northwestern ostracism since he missed the game with an acute case of the dreaded flu-like symptoms. The end of the game must have had Memphis spectators also reaching for the nearest waste basket, as the Grizzlies missed their last 10 shots and let the visitors walk away with a 2 point win.
The Pacers: The Pacers were kind enough to only score 75 points in their trip to Boston, allowing the home team to snap their 4 game losing-streak and come away with a 19 point victory. KG rewarded them for their kindness by smacking Tyler Hansbrough in the face. Maybe it was because Tyler Hansbrough was the only Pacer who played worth a damn, or maybe it was just because KG likes smacking people in the face, but whatever the cause, the effect was an ejection for the Big Ticket. David West and Paul George practiced their synchronized swimming by each shooting 4-18, with neither player coming within the general vicinity of 18 points.
The Heat: The Heat couldn't come to the Midwest on Friday, so the Midwest came to them. The result was the same: a loss for the Heat and a whole lot of schadenfreude to go around. The Bulls crushed the Heat on the boards, enjoying a 20 rebound advantage. Joakim Noah, who still doesn't seem too fond of Lebron James, had this to say:
It always feels good to beat the Heat. And we get a night out in the city, so we're hyped right now.I get the feeling that Joakim likes visiting Lebron in South Beach a little bit more than he did in Cleveland. It's hard to believe that this is the same team that lost on New Years Eve to the Bobcats, at home no less, but then again beating the Heat doesn't seem like much of a challenge this week.
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| The Beard Supremacy |
The Bucks: James Harden was a one man Broped—minus the inefficiency; the bearded one scored 29 points on 18 attempts, while his freshly shaved rivals used 16 more attempts to score 28 combined points. Scott Skiles continued to demonstrate that he'll start any forward not named Ilyasova, this time opting for a one-two punch of Ekpe Udoh and Labia Mud Charm Toucher. John Henson was also denied from the starting lineup, but responded with 15 rebounds.
Utah and Phoenix: The Suns lost, at home, 80-87 against Jamaal Tinsley's Jazz. I'm nominating this match as the most depressing game of the night. I don't have too good of an argument for why; there's just something about a game where neither team scores 90, and both teams shoot 45% that I find particularly pathetic. You can't call it a defensive slugfest (unless you brought plenty of salt), and clearly neither team had much to offer in way of offense. It's just a game that should be stricken from the record, lest those who saw it are never able to regain their appreciation for basketball.
Antawn Jamison sighting: Against the mighty Clippers, Jamison played in his first game since D'Antoni decided he was more valuable to the team from the bench (back in mid-December). He responded with one rebound in 3 minutes and 15 seconds. Way to stick it to Pringles, Antawn.
The Lakers: C'mon, you didn't really think they'd win did you? I mean, they were playing the Clippers after all. The battle for LA's soul was fought and won by the Purple & Gold's former towel boys. Do you hear that? That's the sound of 3 million fair weather fans ordering a Chris Paul jersey.
Lacktion:
Cavaliers-Bobcats: DeSagana Diop fouled someone in his 1 minute and 48 seconds for a +1 suck differential.
Bulls-Heat: Mike Miller spent 10 minutes and 14 seconds on the court, and only came away with a +1 suck differential. Joel Anthony was awarded the same distinction in 7 minutes and 11 seconds.
Rockets-Bucks: The Bucks' Marquis Daniels indulged his masochistic tendencies and with a +3 suck differential in 3 minutes and 11 seconds. James Anderson of the Rockets watched Failure to Launch in his basement after fizzling his way to a +1 suck differential in 2:37. Greg Smith wasn't invited, despite going for a 2 trillion in the same time frame.
Jazz-Suns: According to the AP, Mo Williams appeared in this game for a 41 second Mario, but the folks at Basketball-Reference (who are far less prone to having their heads up their asses) say he hasn't played since December 22nd. It's therefore not without some skepticism that I report, Jeremy Evans went without statistical accomplishment for 2 minutes and 26 seconds.
Clippers-Lakers: Ryan Hollins of the Clippers may have only played for a minute and 10 seconds and earned a +1 suck differential, but he's still more popular in LA right now than Dwight Howard.Saturday:
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| It's like ballet, without music or grace |
The Timberwolves: They lost to a divisional rival, but honestly with Kevin Love breaking his hand again, that doesn't even make for a drop of sadness in their ocean of despair. Somebody's gotta convince these guys to try a purifying dip in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. And that someone is Prince, before he rides away on his purple motorcycle laughing.
David Kahn thought that he'd be merciful on the heart conditions of his fans, announcing recently that Love would be out for, 'a number of weeks'. Something tells me that it isn't a good number if he's afraid to get more specific.
The 76ers: The Sixers built on their weekend of inevitable and unremarkable defeats, losing to the Spurs by 23 points. No Spur had to put in a full half hour, unlike Dorrell Wright, who played 31 minutes and 26 minutes for Philadelphia without scoring a point. The only lead for the Sixers came on the game's opening basket, after that it was all Spurs. I was going to include the video of Ginobli shaking Evan Turner and driving for a dunk, but I found a mark of Zorro that was even more humiliating.
It's not every day that I have an excuse to use the word Nutmeg. Actually, scratch that, there's always an excuse.
The Bucks: The Broped kept struggling to live up to unrealistic expectations, while Roy Hibbert did something crazy and actually lived up to his. His 20 points tied a season-high, while his 15 rebounds did one better and set a season-high, and his 11 offensive rebounds rose all the way to a career-high. He also threw in 5 blocks for good measure. This game came exactly a week after his worst showing of the season, where his only positive stat in 20 minutes against the Hawks was a single rebound.
Brandon Jennings had a particularly rough night, converting on only 4 of his 15 attempts. Afterwards, Scott Skiles was strangely sympathetic towards his mercurial guard.
It's been tough on him these two nights with a back-to-back because he's had tough matchups these last couple games.Wait a doggone second here—is Scott Skiles, even momentarily, not being a Red Forman-esque hard-ass? Fire him immediately.
Rajon Rondo versus the NBA: Not that anybody particularly noticed or cared at the time, but Rajon Rondo did it again, and by "it" I mean he bumped a ref and got suspended. It's tempting to say that such an obviously intelligent player should be able to learn from his mistakes, but that misses the point—Rajon is a NBA Superhero, and like many a great NBA Superhero before him, sometimes he just can't help himself.
The Purple Paupers: The Kings came to Brooklyn and lost by 20 points. If you take away DeMarcus Cousin's 28 points and 11 rebounds, the rest of the team would've scored 65 points on under 35% shooting and only grabbed 30 rebounds. I think the solution to Sacramento's problems is pretty obvious: trade DeMarcus Cousins.
The Jazz: Despite having been given a Mario on Friday by the myopic AP, Mo William hasn't played since December 22nd, and after right thumb surgery he's expected to miss another 6 weeks. In case you don't know, that means over a month of the Jazz starting Jamaal Tinsley—unless of course their city wide search underneath highway overpasses turns up somebody drunk enough to try being their starting point guard.
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| Was it awkward for you too, baby? |
The latest team to benefit from this sad state of affairs was the Denver Nuggets, who watched Tinsley wheeze his way to 5 points (surpassing his season average) in the mile high atmosphere. The Nuggets have now won 21 games in a row when they reach 100 points, and on Saturday they climbed all the way to 110. You know what that means. 4 Tacos for a dollar!
The Warriors: It's nice that, despite their recent successes, the Clippers still find ways to play with a chip on their shoulders—nice, that is, unless you're not a fan of watching the Warriors being shoved slowly into a wood chipper. The Clippers, who were basically just spending the game in search of the perfect alley-oop, led 96-60 when Vinnie relented and pulled Paul and Griffin. Luckily that was not before Chris and DJ did this:
Or this...
I think they might've found that perfect alley-oop they were searching for... Mark Jackson was not amused, and during the next time out attempted to stare down the Clipper bench, Ivan Drago style. Jackson addressed this curious course of action, saying:
It was just a good old-fashioned heavyweight championship staredown. That's all...But they earned the right to celebrate, the way they played. So what you've got to do as a coach or as a player is just let it soak in and remember it.I guess his team (bloody Apollo Creed) was in no condition to make eye contact.
Lacktion:
Pacers-Bucks: Ben Hansbrough could've used his big brother's help as he fell 5 seconds short of a 2 trillion.
Celtics-Hawks: John Jenkins played 3 minutes and 19 seconds but didn't end up with any more stats than Ben Hansbrough.
Knicks-Magic: Chris Copeland realized that this lacktion section needed some more flavor, so he missed a shot and committed a foul and a turnover for a +3 suck differential in 4 minutes and 8 seconds.
Clippers-Warriors: Even though he was the active player who looked most like Dolph Lundgren, Andris Biedrens didn't have more to contribute in this heavyweight brutalization than a 4:1 Voskuhl in 3:37.
Sunday:
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| Cartier Martin shields his face as Lebron drives |
The Wizards: One look at the box score tells it all: the Heat's top performer was some guy named Lebron James, while the Wizards were led by international superstar Cartier Martin. Needless to say, the Wizards got their asses handed to them, in this particular instance by 28 points. Garrett Temple, possibly having been informed that he plays for the Wizards, eased off his recent quality play, ending up with 0 points in 32 minutes after missing all 7 of his shots. Jordan Crawford also attempted 7 shots, but he was fortunate enough to hit one of them; although judging by his less than 15 minutes played off the bench, that's about all the luck to come his way recently. Even Nene, usually the green oasis in the Wizards' desert of crapitude, only made 1 of his 6 shots.
The Heat provided their opponents with a classic gotcha game, creating the illusion that the two teams were competing before pulling away by scoring the final 21 points of the game while keeping the Wizards from scoring for the last 7 minutes. This loss was compounded for Washington fans by the recent knee injury of Robert Griffin III, which, unlike another Wizards loss, is something people actually care about.
The Bobcats, sorry force of habit, The Pistons: Playing at home, the Pistons found their undoing by committing twice as many turnovers and converting a dozen less freebies than the Carolina Cats. The Pistons led 82-79 going into the 4th quarter, but from then on they only scored 19 points, including in overtime.
The Suns: Let me ask you a serious question for a moment... Do you know who P.J. Tucker is? You're reading this blog, so it's a safe bet that you're a basketball fan. Can you close your eyes and picture P.J. Tucker? Well whether or not you can recall his face, P.J. Tucker is the player who led the Suns in scoring Friday night, and none of his teammates got closer to him than 5 points. This might have something to do with why they lost to the Grizzlies by 11 points, or it could all be a wild coincidence. It's hard to say. I bet you can picture Michael Beasley though, DNP-CD.
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| Well, at least they're getting along |
The Lakers: Pau Gasol's nose would not stop bleeding. The game couldn't go on until he could shoot his freethrows, but the bleeding wouldn't stop. An assistant held a towel beneath his nose as the blood kept flowing. His face grew paler, and you could tell by his expression that Pau had begun to wonder if the bleeding would ever stop. The Staples Center crowd could only sit and wonder the same thing—the game out of reach, the moment an awkward formality that ended with Gasol heading to the locker room and George Karl selecting Earl Clark to make the journey from the Lakers' bench to the free throw line. Clark made both free throws and joined Jordan Hill, also 2 points, as one of two Lakers to score in the 4th besides Kobe.
The night had begun with a rare sense of hope for Pau. At half time he had scored 11 points on 5-6 shooting—yet a glance at his final line, 11 points on 5-9 shooting, quickly shows how the rest of his evening went. And then he ran into JaVale McGee's outstretched elbow with his nose. The Lakers continued to play their game of chicken with logic, insisting on playing from the outside, despite the glaring disparity between Kobe and MWP making 16 of their 39 shots versus Pau and Dwight making 11 of their 16. Dwight also tied his career-high 26 rebounds, but for now it's his late missteps that feel more prominent. One such moment occurred immediately after his 25th rebound, when he took the last gasp of the Lakers, trailing by 4, and threw it directly into Javale McGee's outstretched hands. It was just that kind of a night for Dwight, who also turned what could have been a huge defensive block into a perfect pass to Gallinari, who was standing, '02 WCF Horry-like, in wait at the three point line. Hey Dwight, in the unlikely event that you're reading this, you might want to follow this link.
Lacktion:
Heat-Wizards: Chris Singleton of the Wizards accumulated no stats in 1 minute and 46 seconds.
Thunder-Raptors: DeAndre Liggins plays for the Thunder, which you can ascertain from his +1 suck differential in 2 minutes and 54 seconds.
Grizzlies-Suns: Tony Wroten and Josh Selby quit hibernating for long enough to become Mario Brothers. Wroten is to be commended however for grabbing a rebound in a mere 16 seconds. It's too bad that's all the time he got, seeing that he was on a 135 rebounds per 36 minutes pace.
Labels: Andrea Bargnani, Antawn Jamison, AP mistakes, Broped, Jamaal Tinsley, Keith Smart, Lakers Death Roll, Michael Beasley, Minnesota Timberwolves Injuries, Nutmeg, Rocky references, Rondo, scott skiles
The Milwaukee Bucks: How bad were the Bucks last night? Milwaukee coach Scott Skiles was so pissed about the manner in which his team fell behind 22 points by halftime, that he benched his team's two best players. From the AP recap:
Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut never took off their warmups in the second half of the Bucks' 94-84 loss to the Bobcats. The team's second- and third-leading scorers were benched after combining to shoot 1-for-10 and play little defense in a one-sided matchup of teams that figure to contend for one of the final Eastern Conference playoff spots.
"What do I need to say? We were 4-13 in our last 17 games, now 4-14 in our last 18," Skiles said. "Everybody has got to look at themselves right now."
Shocking? Yeah, I guess you could say that. Brandon Jennings could hardly believe it: "I was real surprised. I thought once we got it down a little bit, we were going to bring them back in, you know Bogut and Redd and them."
Nope.
It's a classic Skiles move. He doesn't accept bullshit. He expects all-out effort every night...or else. As he should. But NBA players aren't machines, and with the money they make and the associated sense of entitlement they feel, they begin to resent being driven like horses all the time. Their effort starts to slip a little, especially on defense. And the harder Skiles tries to retake control, the worse his team will play. I saw it happen when he was in Phoenix. I saw it up close when he was coaching the Bulls. When these things start to happen, it's usually the foreplay to him getting effed over by his players...and fired by his bosses.
Said Skiles: "It's not so much producing. It's body language and the way we look out there. The bottom line: this is the NBA. You have to produce. It's what pro sports is. And we need more consistent production out of our key players."
I so totally agree with those sentiments. I do. And I'd probably be the same kind of coach. But, at least in the NBA, that kind of hard line attitude can and will cost you your job. Only Phil Jackson, Pat Riley and Larry Brown could get away with being a ball buster to that extent. And even those guys are usually wise enough to pick their battles.
The New Jersey Nyets: Another night, another double-digit home loss for the New Jersey Nyets. Even Ji Jianlian's career-high 29 points could not save them. The Nyets actually kept things respectable until the fourth quarter, when they scored only 13 points on 6-for-18 shooting. Most of the Nyets' shots were long jumpers, and they got to the line only once in the final 12 minutes. The Thunder's defense got a lot of fluffing after this game, but come on, people. This is New Jersey we're talking about. They're 2-29 and have now lost 10 in a row for the second time this season. Shutting them down is a case of "dog bites man." Zzzzzzz...
Said New Jersey coach Kiki Vandeweghe: "I don't know if we ran out of gas or did they turn it up?" If by "if we ran out of gas" you mean "we suck," well, I guess that's your answer.
The Washington Wizards Generals: Losing to the Grizzlies doesn't earn an automatic bid for Worst of the Night anymore. They're actually...decent. (After they reach .500 or get over it, I'll dub them "halfway decent.") But Memphis was without Rudy Gay, their leading scorer (20.6 PPG). That should have evened things up, right? It sort of did. Washington forced the game into overtime. But we all them the Generals around here for a reason. You know why it went to overtime? Washington was actually up 102-100 with five seconds left. The Griz ran a helter skelter play in which the ball ended up in Zach Randolph ended up with the ball outside of the three-point line.
Now, Z-Bo is a great many things, but one thing he isn't is a three-point shooter. He's hit 28 percent of his treys over his career. And while I don't expect the Generals to know the exact percentage, I do think they should realize what shots you want Randolph to take. No, really. But instead, the defender crowded Randolph, which allowed him to slip past the defense for a drive on which he got fouled by Brendan Haywood with less than a second left. Z-Bo nailed 'em both, and it was onto overtime and another defining loss for the Generals.
Said Gilbert Areneas: "We just couldn't get a break." Indeed.
Speaking of Z-Bo, check out this factoid from today's Daily Dime: "Zach Randolph had 23 points and 13 rebounds on Monday and over his last five games he's scored 141 points and collected 91 rebounds. The last NBA player with as many points and rebounds in a five-game span was Shaquille O'Neal in February 1993, his rookie season."
Seriously....Zach Randolph for MVP?!
The Los Angeles Lakers: Earlier this season, I told Wild Yams in the comments section of a post that, when rested (i.e., not on the second night of back-to-backs), the Suns can play with anybody, and that they'll win at least one home game against the Lakers this season. Well, my thanks go out to the Phoenix players for making it happen in style. The Suns put a good old fashioned hurtin' on the Lakers, who are starting to look like the Fakers of old. It was 2006 all over again, as Phoenix outran, outshot and outhustled a bigger and more physical Lakers team.
But, really, that shouldn't have happened. Kwame Brown is long gone after all.
Derek Fisher went 1-for-7 against the vise-like defense of Steve Nash, Channing Frye (14 points, 11 rebounds) negated Andrew Bynum (14 points, 9 boards), and Amar''''''e Stoudemire (26 points, 11-for-17, 6 rebounds) outplayed Pau Gasol (13 points, 5-for-10, 5 boards), and Ron Artest was still out with a laceration to his head. Meanwhile, Kobe Bryant took 16 more shots than either of L.A.'s big men on his way to scoring a game-high 34 points before sitting out most of the final quarter. Do you think the Suns would rather have Kobe shooting jumpers from all over the floor or get pounded inside by the Lakers' frontcourt? Let me put it this way: that strategy hasn't changed since 2006.
Phil Jackson gets it...even if he was powerless to stop it. "I wasn't comfortable with my starters or my bench. I didn't like either group. Guys didn't play right. We had the inside game going for us, yet we just didn't attack."
Added Kobe Bryant: "They played much better than we did, in a nutshell. That's all it was. They executed very well in transition, we didn't get back and it gave them a lot of easy opportunities, and that broke the game open." Uh, according to the numbers, the Suns scored only 11 of their 103 points on the fast break. I'm just sayin'.
The Lakers are now 6-6 on the season against teams that are .500 or better.
The Boston Celtics: You think the Lakers are in trouble? At least they're losing to good teams. The Celtics now have back-to-back losses to the (gak) Clippers and the (erk) Warriors. Losses in which they basically hit the snooze button on defense. I mean, the Clips shot better than 50 percent against them, and the Warriors came back from an 18-point first half deficit to beat Boston behind Monta Ellis' 37 points (15-for-26 from the field, 6-for-8 from the line).
Let's face it. We all know how well the Celtics can defend when motivated. Having an 18-point lead against Gol_en State should have been more than enough. The absence of Paul Pierce doesn't not explain that kind of defensive collapse. Early in the season, Doc Rivers complained that his squad had developed a tendency to relax against lesser teams, which is something they hadn't done in the previous two seasons. Is that the Rasheed Wallace Effect? Because, seriously, that's what 'Sheed's Detroit teams always used to do. Think about it.
The Portland Ail Blazers: I pumped these guys up in my Worst of Christmas Weekend post, and then they lay an egg at home against the Sixers? Well, the injuries were bound to catch up to them. You think the Blazers expected to be giving significant minutes to frontcourt players like Dante Cunningham and Jeff Pendergraph? And by "significant" I mean "any."
As if by coincidence, Elton Brand exploded off the bench for a season-high 25 points on 11-for-16 shooting to go along with 9 rebounds. Oh, and in case you care, Allen Iverson played and shot a surprising 7-for-11. Maybe he's finally becoming an efficient player...
The Denver Nuggets: Yes, the Nuggets were still Chauncey Billups-less, but the Kings were Tyreke Evans-less, which should have more than evened things up...right? And maybe it would have, if the _enver _efenders had remembered to put a hand in the face of one Andres Nocioni. Noc went 6-for-7 from the field, including 4-for-5 from downtown. He finished with a team-high 21 points, including 7 in the decisive fourth quarter.
The Nuggets have now lost six consecutive road games, where they score 14 fewer points per contest than they do at home. Since it seems doubtful they're going to have homecourt advantage throughout the playoffs, that could be a problem. Said Aaron Afflalo: "At the end of the day we're going to have to get a win on the road. We need some more practice time to regain our focus on whatever it may be at the end of the day we have to do to get a win."
Seriously? More practice is the answer?
Lacktion report: As usual, Chris is on the case - not even the newest of Association members can hide from the ledger!!!
Bucks-Bobcats: Charlie Bell rang up four bricks (twice from Discovery Place) in 7:31 for a +4 suck differential! Meanwhile, Larry Brown and Michael Jordan had Acie Law wager one rejection and brick each for a +2 in 1:50.
Thunder-Nyets: Oklahoma City's Byron Mullens (who's taking a cue from Tim Duncan and denying his own status as big man) got off the Greyhound from Tulsa and made his Association debut tonight by mopping up some Goombas in a 40 second Mario!!!!
Generals-Grizzlies: DeShawn Stevenson fouled once for a +1 in 1:16.
Lakers-Suns: Earl Clark crunched out a brick, rejection, and giveaway to give Phoenix a celebratory +3 in 1:55.
Sixers-Blazers: Jrue Holiday vacationed in the land of lacktion tonight by bricking and losing the rock twice each, adding a foul and rejection to the itinerary for a +6 in 11:05. Fellow Philadelphian Jason Smith took a foul and giveaway himself to earn a +2 in 4:17 that also counts as a 2:0 Voskuhl.
Celtics-Warriors: As Gol_en State somehow played enough D to halt the C's, Don Nelson ended up in the rare position of bringing out a human victory cigar at the Oracle, lighting up Chris Hunter for a foul and turnover in 2:06 that scored a +2 as well as a 2:0 Voskuhl. Earlier, Doc Rivers attempted to stem the tide by having Brian Scalabrine foul once in 6:22 for a +1 that doubled as a Madsen-level 1:0 Voskuhl - his second straight game within the realm of bawful big men!!!
Labels: Boston Celtics, Denver Nuggets, Los Angeles Lakers, Milwaukee Bucks, Portland Trail Blazers, scott skiles, Worst of the Night
The Philadelphia 76ers: As if to add more misfortune to the Sixers' season of woe, Elton Brand suffered a shoulder dislocation after attempting to block a shot by Bucks forward
Now, here's a little theory I have. Let's assume Brand misses, say, a month. You just watch. Philly will start fast breaking again -- which was their bread and butter last season -- and go on a little mini-streak in Brand's absence. Seriously.
I'll tell you what: If anything, this incident proves that Zach Randolph is an upgrade (for the Clippers) over Elton Brand in one specific area. He will never, ever suffer a serious injury while trying to play defense. I promise you that.
Scott Skiles, anger machine: The thing I really appreciated about Skiles when he was coaching in Chicago is that he doesn't mince words. He tells it like he sees it. This is quite a departure from what I hear out of Vinny Del Negro, who talks about his team like he's deathly afraid of offending someone. Walking on eggshells might spare a few egos, but spare the rod, spoil the child, you know?
However, I've noticed that Skiles' disgust is growing with every game his team drops. It's like every loss is a Dixie cup full of rat droppings and bug parts getting poured down his gullet. Here's what he said after his team's latest loss: "We had a bunch of guys who looked like they didn't feel like playing from the opening tip. We were just heavy-legged, slow-footed. We couldn't get up and down the floor and had tremendous trouble guarding them. We got exactly what we deserved. I'm bewildered by my team. I've got a really bad taste in my mouth. It was a very poor all-around effort by us." I can kinda see where he's coming from, considering the team's two biggest investments -- Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut -- combined for 12 points (plus Redd shot 2-for-13 and Bogut had a game-high 4 turnovers). But still, it's awfully early to start alienating your team. Which, as we all know, is a Skiles specialty.
Danny Granger, reality defier: You might not know this since he's a Pacer and all, but Granger signed a five-year extension worth up to $65 million earlier this season. And, despite the big payday, he's gotten better. Much better, actually. Granger's currently averaging career highs in scoring (24.4), assists (3.2), blocks (1.4) and free throw percentage (88.2) while also chipping in 5.3 rebounds per game. Oh, and his PER has jumped from 16.7 to 20.1. Last night, he scored 13 of his game-high 41 points in the final six and a half minutes to lead the Pacers to victory. He also had 11 rebounds and 6 assists, and was 17-for-17 from the foul line. I guess not everybody suffers from the Contract Year Phenomenon.
And sure, he exploded against the Warriors' non-defense, but still...Indy was without starters T.J. Ford (left groin strain) and Troy Murphy (flu-like symptoms!). I mean, come on, the Pacers haven't had a step-it-up type player since Reggie Miller retired.
The Golden State Warriors: Did I mention they gave up 127 points and got pounded on the boards by a Pacers team that was missing two of its best players? Well, they did.
Corey Maggette: I read in the AP game notes that Maggette is still out with that strained right hamstring and that he's played in only 16 of the Warriors' 25 games. This reminded me of an email I recently received from Basketbawful reader Mark L, who claimed to have a new nickname for Mags: "They've started to call him 'Bad Porn' at various Warriors boards. Their justification? 'Sure, there's penetration and scoring, but are you really happy with what you're seeing?'" I loved this one so much that I wanted to lock it in my storage space and keep it from the rest of the world. Then I realized that the rest of the worlds' needs are greater than my own. There's not need to thank me. (But really, there is. So, you know, thank me and stuff.)
Bill Walton, man love quote machine: From Andrei: "Ok, I have a submission for either the 'quote machine' or 'man love' features, possibly both. On the pre-game show for the Celtics-Hawks game I just heard Bill Walton say 'Stuart, I love the little pretty boys' in reference to Chris Paul and Tony Parker. Anyone else pick up on that?" Yes. Gotta love The Walton.
Joe Johnson: Look, on the surface, it might look like there's a lot to criticize about the Celtics-Hawks game. Boston shot 44 percent and Atlanta shot 36 percent. The teams combined for 27 turnovers which is a lot for such a low-possession game. But the mitigating factor is that this was a rivalry game played with MAN-type intensity. In the end, the Celtics won it because, quite simply, they made the plays they had to make down the stretch (especially KG, who was 5-for-5 in the fourth quarter and also had a couple sweet assists to Kendrick Perkins and Rajon Rondo).
But still, the Hawks could have won this game if Joe Cool had played a little better. Johnson was 6-for-16 and only 1-for-7 from downtown, but his biggest boner of the night was blowing the second of two free throws with 2.7 seconds. Hitting it would have tied the game. Missing it, well, pretty much lost the game. He had been 7-for-7 before the clank. Said Johnson: "I had a chance to get us into overtime and missed the second free throw. I made the first one and some of the pressure was off." Some...but apparently not enough. The best/worst part: The Atlanta fans were chanting "M-V-P!" during Johnson's trips to the line. Speaking of of the fans...
Atlanta "fans": I noticed several Lakers jerseys/sweatshirts/whatever in the Atlanta crowd, including one Kareem jersey. What's up with that?
Glen Davis: From Chris: "Another gem from tonight's broadcast: the video from practice where Big Baby slipped on the Phillips Arena floor while in sweatpants and all. I wonder if that's going to be on YouTube any time soon." Not yet, alas. Almost (but not quite) as good as watching Baby fall on his face was hearing Mark Jackson freak out and say "Big Baby, you're better than that!" afterward. Uh, Mark, I don't know which Glen Davis YOU'VE been watching this season...
Ray Allen, unintentionally dirty quote machine: From Michael W: "Not sure if this qualifies as unintentionally dirty quote machine, but Ray Allen is credited with this little gem after the BOS-ATL match (via ESPN match report): 'Sometimes it seems as though it's a burden. That monkey grows. It's a good monkey though.' Better than a bad monkey, Ray. Or a monkey with a knife. Plus he shot 1-of-8 from downtown which surely qualifies for a Worstie." Yeah. He missed a lot of threes. But they were good misses.
Marvin Williams: Basketbawful reader Aram sent in this picture of M-Will giving Paul Pierce "The Bad Touch." Only Paul's face says that was "The Really Bad Touch."
The Toronto Raptors: Check out this smackdown from the AP game recap: "Down by 12 points after one quarter, the Dallas Mavericks knew better than to panic. Instead, they waited for the struggling Toronto Raptors to crack. It didn’t take long." Added Jason Terry: "We knew they blew a big lead the other night, so we didn't get down (after the first). We just said 'Keep grinding. If we can put some doubt in their mind they may fold,' and that's what we were able to do in the second and third quarter." And a little more from Devean George: "The whole team looked frustrated, some doubt started to come into their mind. They started off smoking, but it's a 48 minute game. When you see guys going, 'Not again,' that kind of feeds into the other team. We all kind of sensed that. They were really frustrated when things weren’t going right and we started making a run."
Okay, when opposing teams and even the Associated Press know they can count on you to collapse...that's bad. The dinos have now lost three straight and are 2-6 since Jay Triano replaced Sam Mitchell.
Chris Bosh: Did he struggle? Yeah, I guess you could call scoring only 12 points on 6-for-20 shooting "struggling." He also went 0-for-5 in the third quarter, which included a missed dunk. It was a performance, both individually and as a team that was well worth booing, but Bosh wasn't happy when that exact thing happened...
The Toronto crowd: Look, we all understand why you guys are happy. You live in Canada and your team sucks more than expected. But they can't rally if you don't support them. What the Raptors need now is love, sweet love, it's the only thing that there's just too little of. Just ask Chris Bosh: "If I want to get booed, I'll go on the road. It's really tense right now. When you're down three points at home and you're getting booed, that's kind of disheartening. Whether the crowd knows it or not, they play a big part in the game." Again, I understand the reasons behind the booing, but you know, he has a point.
The Utah Jazz's first quarter: Gak, what a bad start by the Jazz. They shot 3-for-19 (16 percent) -- which included streaks of six and later eight misses in a row -- and had 7 turnovers. And it took a Morris Almond jumper with 2.8 seconds left to avoid matching the worst quarter in franchise history. (Utah scored five points in the second quarter against the Lakers on December 1, 1981.) After that misguided mess of basketball, the Jazz found themselves down 27-7. Fortunately, they were facing...
The New Jersey Nets: Yes, my friends, they are who we thought they were. The Nets choked up a 22-point lead and ended up losing by 11 (and dropped to 4-8 at home in the process). It was the largest lead they've wasted since January 29, 2001 when they surrendered a 23-point lead to a 23-win Vancouver Grizzlies team. The Nets let the Jazz score 72 points on 64 percent shooting in the second half while getting outrebounded 53-36. Fail.
The Washington Wizards: Here are the facts. Do with them what you will. The Wiz scored 74 points on 33 percent shooting. They missed nine free throws and had only 13 assists (and 12 turnovers). They fell to 4-19, which makes them only two games better than the Klahma City Thunder. And Mike James is now their starting point guard. Yes, they suck. They suck bad. Speaking of James...
Mike James, quote machine: "I keep saying I'm grateful this is the Eastern Conference. You can be 10 games under .500 and still be playing for the eighth (playoff) spot." Uh, yeah, Mike...only you guys are 15 games under .500 and a full SEVEN games out of eighth place. But don't let little things like math and reality stand in the way of your delusions of mediocrity.
Rasheed Wallace: It has been said that 'Sheed plays better after getting T'd up. Well, he earned a tech last night and yet finished with 2 points on 1-for-8 shooting (including 0-for-4 from distance) and only 4 rebounds. So, you know, maybe what's known isn't what's known.
The Minnesota Timberwolves: Not that anybody expected them to beat the Cavs, but they still lost by 23 points at home. It was their 11th straight defeat and sixth in a row since Kevin McHale took over the coaching reigns. But since McHale thinks that bloggers are costing coaches their jobs, I'm not going to say anything.
Rashad McCants: The line: 0-for-8, 2 points, 3 fouls. He doesn't even deserve a one-liner. Meh, to you, Rashad. Meh, I say!
Eric Gordon: He earned "True Clipper" status last night by fouling Ben Gordon on a three-point attempt when his team was leading by 4 points with 20 seconds left. Ben hit the shot and the ensuing free throw to tie things up. The game went into overtime and the Clippers, naturally, lost. Gordon, who also committed a critical turnover in overtime, was not available for comment after the game.
By the way, after the loss, Timothy P sent me the following email: "Just wanted to say thanks for the curse...'By the way, has anybody noticed that Zach Randolph is fitting in really well with the Clippers? In point of fact, he's playing a lot better than post-surgery Elton Brand. And the Clips have won three in a row. Who knows? It could turn out that Brand leaving was a good thing for the other L.A. team.' You managed to write this the same day Brand did a flying pirouette over somebody's shoulder, landed upside down, and dislocated his own shoulder. But who knows? It could turn out that Brand getting hurt is a good thing for the Sixers."
Yeah. Sorry 'bout that Clippers fan. I know what it looks like, but I really wasn't going for the stat curse just 'cause I live in Chicago and support the Bulls and knew the Clips were coming into town last night. Really I wasn't...
Andres Nocioni: Noc forced a big turnover in overtime when he flopped to the floor while defending Zach Randolph. And the NBA said they were going to stop the flop! Z-Bo was pretty angry, both at the time and after the game. And so was Marcus Camby: "It's frustrating because everybody in the league, everybody in the building knows what he does. He flops, but he got the benefited of the call tonight so we just have to take this one on the chin and we have try to regroup and we have two more games on this road trip." No bitterness there. None at all.
Spurs versus Hornets: Chris Paul set an NBA record for getting a steal in his 106th straight regular-season game while Tim Duncan passed the 10,000 career rebound mark. So, yeah, history was made, but that did not make this a game worth watching. Ugly. I walked away to do some things and came back early in the second quarter...and it was 15-14. The Spurs also scored only 13 in the fourth. Painful. Like a giant cyst on your back that's about to burst. And then you realize it's filled with crawling insects.
Also, an anonymous commenter asked me to mention the following two bonus pooper scoopers: "Hey Bawful, in the next WotN can you mention the stat curse the commentators put on Matt Bonner. They were talking about his league leading three-point percentage only to have him go 1-8 from downtown and 3-15 altogether. Although in hindsight it is Matt Bonner, so it probably wasnt a stat curse just matt being normal. And also the random Hornets employee who wouldn't let the fans manning the CP3 steal count put it upto 106. He was standing there telling them not to do it. even while the fans were cheering CP3 and there was an announcement about him getting the record." Consider it mentioned, Mr. Anonymous. Also, d'you suppose that having Bonner attempt eight threes was really part of Pop's game plan? I tend to think not so much.
Manu Ginobili: Basketbawful reader Garron noted: "Great game. But, down by 4 with 30 seconds left he lost miserably on a jump ball against '6-foot on a very good day' Chris Paul." True dat. The only change I would make is "6-foot while standing on a couple decks of cards and maybe a small block of wood."
Evil Ted Addendum (spurs/hornets): At one point late in this game, Tyson Chandler was called for goaltending. It was a legit and fairly obvious call, so nothing horrible there...but Jeff Van Gundy proceeds with a mini-rant that sounds something like "I don't know how any human being could possibly detect goaltending...they should have balls that light up when they start on their downward arc...I seriously have no idea how a human could possibly call a goaltend..." I found it very disturbing to hear a commentator AND former coach say something so dumb about one of the most straightforward aspects of the game - ball going down, no touchie. Maybe Gundy just enjoys the sound of his own voice?
The Laction report: Basketbawful reader Chris was kind (or perhaps obsessed) enough to compile all the trillionaires, suck differentialists and Mario brothers of the night:
Even with ESPN cameras on for two games, it couldn't stop some of the best practitioners of lactivity from shining brightly (or is that "fading dimly" in this context), even in one of those two national games! And, being doubly inspired tonight, I decided to do a salary comparison between their on-court non-performance and their actual earnings, to see how much randomly standing on the floor, or negatively contributing to the team, can be worth.Kobe Bryant: While in the bathroom of the Lakers' locker room, Mamba asked Luke Walton where the nearest bathroom was. When Luke gave him a puzzled look in response, Kobe said: "I'm not looking for a toilet, you moron, I'm looking for a bathroom. Haven't you ever taken a bath? Apparently not. No wonder it smells like crap in here." And Luke began to cry.
(BTW, I still haven't decided what term is best for a suck differentialist -- a "vacuum" or a "lollipop", I think a "vacuum" has to especially suck, say have a double digit SD or more than 10 minutes of playing time with a SD, while a lollipop has a single digit SD in less than 10 minutes of playing time.)
Shawne Williams of the Mavs ($1,572,960 this year/$19,182.44 a game) was one field goal away from a +4 in a full 10 minute lacktion session -- about $5000 for each SD marker he accrued; on the other side of the court, Kris Humphries ($3,200,000 this year/$39,024.39 a game) was a +1 in 1:53 of playing time for the Raptors, his missed field goal squandering away a revenue-generating opportunity. Guess you can't trust Humphries with your 401(k).
The Wizards' JaVale Mcgee was a steal away from a +1 in 2:31 of lacktion - is that a "Non-Trillion Almost As Valuable As Others?" It did help contribute to a 14 point loss, though it did not make him wealthy. (In real dollars though, he makes $1,392,240 this year, which is $16,978.54 a game.)
CJ Miles for Utah, in trying to become a true lollipop, was a +4 in a whopping 6:28 of playing time -- as a starter! -- and while +/- is not considered for SD numbers, he was -12, truly making him a Minus Man. (6 players for the Jazz -- FOUR from the bench had double digit positive +/- numbers tonight.) I guess his sweet, sweet negative lacktivity was overshadowed by his team's depth. This year's salary for him is $3,700,000 or $45,121.95 a game -- so he earned a sugary $11,280.49 for every SD marker he racked up!
Cleveland steamrolled McHale's Navy of Conscripts (appropriate given Telfair's arsenal shenangians), having enough garbage time to bring out Darnell Jackson as the biggest lollipop of the night, with 6:53 of lacktion punctuated by a SD of +7! That's a ratio of over one bad play a minute! However, he cannot be blamed for the usual cries of "LeBron lacks a supporting cast" that inevitably lead to "LeBron to Somewhere Else in 2010, Says The Media Hype Train" - he is making a mere $450K this year, only $5487.80 a game - so his cap hit per SD point is $783.96, a real bargain in the league nowadays and an easily afforadble option for those looking for a waste disposal expert. Speaking of the conscripts from Minneapolis, Kevin Love scored a grand total of 0 points on 4 shots.
In typical fashion, Donald Sterling's squad serves as a breeding ground of nothingness, with Steve Novak providing a 30 second Mario (at $797,581 this season/$9726.60 a game, he has clearly found the secret to getting rich fast), while Clippers teammate Brian Skinner - 22nd overall pick by this team in 1998 -- chose to walk away from the treasure chest and stock options by blocking one shot, thus avoiding a +1 in three minutes of lacktion. (Skinner's sole blocked shot was probably his best effort in trying to show Mr. Sterling that the contract year phenomenon applies to him, as he makes $1,262,275 this year, or $15,393.60 a game. Wanna bet that's enough for Sterling and Dunleavy to give this guy another blank check?) Oh, and the Clips only successfully made one shot in OT, unsurprisingly losing.
While the big talk in the Crescent City was CP3's 106th consecutive game with a steal, he was not assisted by fellow Hornet Sean Marks, who chose to forego a possible payday of 9 trillion in favor of taking the role of team lollipop, with a +5 through three missed shots and 2 personal fouls. (Marks, clearly bad enough to not be assisted by the contract year phenomenon, is making $1,141,838 in the last year of his deal -- $13,924.85 a game, or more specifically, $2784.97 per SD point!) On the other bench, Fabricio Oberto gave the Spurs a 40 second Mario, at the price of $3,500,000 this year/$42,682.93 a game - one of THE most expensive Marios in memory.
Man, I am still in awe at earning $42,682.93 to just stand there for 40 seconds and then get back on the bench. No wonder he doesn't mind being "used in any role" as this article states.
It's amazing how this somewhat sabermetric analysis of lacktion can be really revealing -- and make you wonder how so many GMs in this league do not understand the stupidity of spending $42K a game, or $11K a SD point, to have someone take up roster space.
And did anyone else catch Stuart Scott in the midst of the ESPN broadcast describing the upcoming Spurs game as "redicufied," a completely new and meaningless word that seems straight out of the Lovetron Language Primer?
Labels: Andres Nocioni, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Joe Johnson, New Orleans Hornets, Philadelphia 76ers, San Antonio Spurs, scott skiles, Washington Wizards, Worst of the Night
Here is Part 2 of the 2007-08 NBA Worsties. This part runs roughly through December of 2007. And I do mean roughly.
Biggest waste of a hyped shoe line: Gilbert and his Gil2Zeros (or Gil20's if ya nasty). Not only did the guy beg Adidas for more attention in 2006 and blog about how elite this line was going to be, he also decided that it needed 17 special editions to be released throughout the season starting in December. What happened? He played exactly 13 games and had 2 knee surgeries allowing him to live up to an NBA Live curse if there is one and guaranteeing Adidas of a complete waste of resources. Hibachi! [Submitted and written by Kellex of Le Basketbawl.]
The end of the line for Ruben Patterson: Known in some (rather stupid) circles as "The Kobe Stopper," Patterson had averaged a career-high 14.7 PPG on 55 percent shooting during the 2006-07 season. (I have three words for you: Contract Year Phenomenon.) On August 29, 2007, the
Dan Fegan gets pwn3ed by Dan Ferry: Anderson Varejao's stubborn (and foolishly greedy) agent went toe-to-toe with Danny Ferry. And lost. One rival agent -- once he'd finished erupting in a pitiless "Muwahahahahahaha!!" -- said that: "Danny Ferry cleaned (Fegan's) clock." Varejao, after a lengthy and fruitless holdout, signed an offer sheet with the Charlotte Bobcats. The Cavaliers simply matched it, allowing them to retain Varejao's services at a price that was well below market value (not to mention $10 million per year less than Fegan was asking for). But hey, that's what Fegan gets for trying to get Greg Ostertag money, because let's face it: Varejao is no Ostertag.
Jason Kidd's mysterious migraine: Kidd missed the Nets' feeble 100-93 loss to the lowly Knicks due to what was reported to be a migraine headache. But rumor had it that Kidd was really suffering from a throbbing pain in his ass, that pain being the wretched awfulness of his team. Kidd, who has no history of migraine headaches, appeared to be upset about how badly his team sucked, and that certain teammates -- cough*VinceCarter*cough -- couldn't play through a little pain and discomfort. In a way, I can't blame him, because playing with Vince Carter would give me headaches too. But quitting on your team, even if it's only for a night, isn't cool. Naturally, this was a dark omen of things to come.
Paul Pierce joins the "No Fun" Police: Before a 113-103 road win over the Philadelphia 76ers, Paul Pierce apparently "scolded a couple of teammates in the locker room who [were] having too much fun and screaming to some music." Said Pierce: "We're trying to play a game." Pierce then admitted that, last season, he "spent too much time telling his younger teammates what to do, where to go, what to eat, how to dress." Wow. Who knew Pierce was such a Fun Nazi? Oh, right, these guys.
Shaq takes out his frustration on Joel Przybilla: During the opening minutes of a routine 112-106 road loss to the Portland Trailblazers, Shaq made one of his signature awkward lurches to the basket and headbutted Joel Przybilla, then fell on him and drove the basketball into his face. Przybilla got knocked out of the game for a while, but he returned in the second quarter and did a good job containing Shaq when the big man was actually in the game. (The Big Ham Hands got into foul trouble yet again.) Yes, the 2007-08 season marked the point at which Shaq could no longer overpower Joel Przybilla. Here's some video of the event.
LeBron proves (once again) that today's ballers are huge vaginas: King James, who looks like an unstoppable force of pure physical power, missed a few games in December with a sprained left index finger. This is what it's come to. Gone are the days when we could expect professional athletes to, say, play through the pain of a broken foot or maybe cut off their finger to stay in a game. Soon a case of cotton mouth or maybe a bad hair day will be all it takes to make it onto the injured list.
Al Horford gives T.J. Ford [Arnie voice] a pain in dah neck [/Arnie voice]: Yeah, I know it was an accident and everything, but Horford's foul on T.J. Ford looked pretty bad. Not only that, it ended with Ford -- who missed the entire 2004-05 season after neck surgery -- getting carried off the floor on a stretcher. I feel kind of like a jerk for saying this, but you know, Ford might not have gotten hurt if the refs had just made the call on what was a pretty obvious travel. I mean, he took three full steps after his last dribble.
Carlos Boozer declares war on Steve Nash's teeth: An "errant" Boozer elbow knocked out a chuck of Captain Canada's pearly whites, but it didn't prevent him from beating the Jazz with 29 points (10-for-12), 11 assists and 6 rebounds. Said Nash: "I just kind of took an elbow or something and it chipped off. So I get to spend some of my day off at the dentist, as luck would have it." Kudos to Nash for having a sense of humor about it. Had it been someone like Kobe Bryant or Lebron James, I'm sure the reaction and resulting press coverage would have been needlessly grim and melodramatic (e.g., "Despite the pain and anguish of a broken tooth, Kobe reached down deep and found the winner within, scoring a bunch of points and blah, blah, blah." Does anybody remember how Nash's tooth got broken the last time? That's right: An errant elbow from Karl Malone (as also noted by Nash after the game). Of course, Malone was an evil Laker at that time, but we know he was always a Jazz man at heart.
Andrew Bynum declares war on Fabricio Oberto's face: Bynum earned himself double technicals and an ejection for popping Fabricio Oberto in the face with an elbow. And it didn't happen in the heat of action; it happened during a dead ball situation while Oberto was making his way downcourt. What made the situation even more pathetic was how Bynum raised his hands after the fact to make it look like he didn't actually intend to hit Oberto, then actually complained about getting teched up (which earned him a second technical). Naturally, Kobe had to stick his nose into it, running downcourt to argue with the the ref. And of course Phil Jackson, ever the smug one, commented to the sideline reporter between the third and fourth quarters that the officials had "evened things out" between the two teams (since Duncan and Parker were out) by kicking Bynum out of the game. See, these are perfect examples of why it's so easy to hate the Lakers.
Tony Parker's sprained
Darko Milicic's ego (once again) hits an all-time low: 2007-08 was supposed to be Darko's breakout season. But after a listless performance against the Magic -- 4 points (2-5), 3 rebounds, 5 personal fouls, and several brutal posterizations by Dwight Howard -- the only thing broken was Darko's ego: "My confidence level right now is really low. It's horrible. It's weird. I'm with a team now that needs me, and has given me every opportunity to play. I've got a nice contract, but for some reason I can't even do the things I used to do. I don't know what's wrong with my game." Wow. I don't know how his confidence could possibly have gotten any lower than it was in Detroit, where the coach wouldn't play him and most of his teammates wouldn't even look him in the eye. But it happened.
Update! Jeff Foster punks a fan run amok: During a 93-85 Pacers victory over the Gilbert Arena and Caron Buter-less Washington Wizards, a crazed fan made it onto the court and managed to evade several
Pat Riley discovers the pain of, uh, pain: After a 106-103 loss to the Pacers, the Heat fell to 6-17. What did Riles have to say after his team's latest defeat? "There's a lot of pain. It's very painful. Sometimes you wonder. I'm not trying to get on a philosophical bent here, but when you're given everything that you've ever wanted in your profession, you wonder why that you feel such pain. You say why, why give me all this and make me feel pain?" Uh...what the hell? Seriously, that insipid rant is one of the most pathetic things I've ever read. Maybe it's just me, but I think that after winning 6 championships (1 as a player, 5 as a coach) and becoming a mega-millionaire, you officially lose all rights to whine like a little bitch unless a loved one is diagnosed with terminal cancer or you get sodomized by hillbillies during a rafting trip through Alabama. Once again, I'm just sayin'.
The continuing Fire Isiah movement: There simply was no escape for Isiah, not even on the Knicks bench.
Unhappy holidays from John Paxson: Somebody had to take the fall for the failed expectations of the Chicago Bulls, and everybody pretty much knew it was going to be Scott Skiles. But on Christmas Eve? Seriously? Yes, seriously. Merry freaking Christmas, Mr. Skiles. And you have to wonder how much of the blame Skiles really deserved. As Statbuster asked at the time: "Is Scott Skiles responsible for Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich, and Ben Wallace devolving into Juan Dixon, Steve Blake, and Michael Cage? Is Skiles accountable for the Kwame Brown-like work ethic of Tyrus Thomas? Was Skiles the one that dealt LaMarcus Aldridge for this guy?"
Then, on the day after Christmas, finally free of Skiles' iron-fisted tyranny, the Bulls once again put forth the kind of lackluster effort that got their coach fired and made Kyle Orton the talk of Chicago. Released from Skiles suffocating offensive sets, Luol Deng shot 5-of-15 and Andres Nocioni hit 1-of-11. Ben Wallace, who chafed under Skiles' Draconion rules, submitted a 2-point, 4-rebound gem while being totally outplayed by Matt Bonner (12 points, 9 rebounds). But despite their newfound freedom and the sense of hope it brought, the Bulls still got blown out by a Spurs team that didn't have Manu Ginobili and suffered through a poor game from Tim Duncan (8 points on 2-of-9 shooting and 5 turnovers). Yay, team. [Nominated by dumbgenius.]
We wear short-shorts: With the Lakers and Celtics both leading their respective conferences for the first time since the Bird/Magic era, the Lakers "honored" the moment by breaking out 80’s sized (or lack thereof) shorts. There are too many wrongs here to list…but I will:
1. The Celtics first laughed at the idea and then proceeded to literally beat the pants off the Lakers (and they gave a very accurate preview of things to come in the Finals with their physical presence. As a Lakers fan I was hoping they just lacked confidence because of the shorts and not because the C’s are physically intimidating...boy was I wrong!)
2. The baggy 00's era tops with tiny 80's era shorts look made it appear as though the Lakers came out in their boxers. Correct me if I’m wrong, but basketball is a sport not to be played in underwear.
3. Did I mention that the fans were laughing also? Save the sideshow antics for the Clippers and not the best and most physical team in the NBA.
4. They gave away tee shirts proclaiming, "I saw the short-shorts!!!" Really? Am I really going to wear a tee shirt of an ass-kicking that brags about seeing grown men in tiny shorts? (Here’s a pic of the tee.)
5. The Lakers quickly changed back into normal shorts at halftime. Unfortunately they were down 8 and never rallied. [Submitted and written by Craig from The Association.]
Labels: Al Horford, Andrew Bynum, Carlos Boozer, john paxson, Lebron James, Los Angeles Clippers, NBA Worsties, Paul Pierce, Ruben Patterson, scott skiles, Steve Nash
Until now, I've taken the Bulls annual early-season nose dive with a grain of salt. I chalked it up to the heavy reliance of jump-shooting combined with November rust, topped off with a crippling stretch of road games to accommodate a traveling sideshow. The past three years, the Bulls started off 9-16, 12-19, 3-9. We've been down this road before.I shrugged it off and casually said to the man they call Basketbawful, "If the Bulls are still under .500 in January, Skiles might be in trouble". In retrospect, that statement isn't entirely wrong. The Bulls are looking down the barrel of a sub-.500 December, and are coming off back-to-back losses by nearly 20 points. A 14-win January? Were the 2007 playoffs that long ago?
The question: Is Scott Skiles responsible for Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich, and Ben Wallace devolving into Juan Dixon, Steve Blake, and Michael Cage? Is Skiles accountable for the Kwame Brown-like work ethic of Tyrus Thomas? Was Skiles the one that dealt LaMarcus Aldridge for this guy?
To some people, the answer is yes. Scott Skiles is canned and there will be a little more bourbon in his egg nog tonight. That sound you hear is Isiah Thomas laughing. At all of us. Again. Happy Holidays!
Labels: assholes, Chicago Bulls, john paxson, scott skiles
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