Jameer Nelson and Maurice Evans: I've said over and over this season that guard play was going to doom. Well, after the first two games of the Raptors-Magic series, I was left enjoying the salty taste of my own foot. But no more. Nelson (6 points, 2-for-8, 5 fouls) and Evans (zero points, 0-for-3, zero assists, 3 turnovers) finally lived back down to my expectations. Even worse, they got burned by T.J. Ford (21 points, 7-for-11) and Jose Calderon (18 points, 7 rebounds, 13 assists).

Rasho Nesterovic: The Yugoslavian Terror has been on fire since March -- and I have proof -- but he still got exiled to the bench and played only 10 minutes last night. His line: 2 points, 1-for-3 shooting, 1 turnovers, 4 fouls. Why the reduced role? Some say that putting Jamario Moon back in the starting lineup rejuvenated a listless Raptors team. Me? I think Bryan Colangelo got Rasho's Contract Year Phenomenon vibe and told Sam Mitchell to sit him. That way he'll be cheaper in the offseason. See, as a GM, you've always got to be thinking ahead...

The Cavaliers' butterfingeritis: The Wizards put the pressure on Cleveland, and the Cavs responded by turning the ball over 23 times. Those turnovers translated to 30 points for Washington. Ouch.

LeBron James: With the Washington crowd chearing "OVER-RATED," LeBron chuckled and then boned a freethrow. If I was a Cleveland fan, I would have preferred to see King James adopt a look of steely-eyed determination, sink the freethrow, and then go off on the Wizards. But that didn't happen, which kind of surprised me. Maybe the presence of an angry Soulja Boy took LeBron out of his game.

Wally Szczerbiak: The line: 6 points, 3-for-9 shooting, no three-pointers, 2 rebounds, 3 assists. And while Wally World struggles, the Cavaliers are still waiting for the guy who was supposed to be such a big upgrade from Larry Hughes to show up.

Ben Wallace: Can somebody -- anybody -- tell me how having Big Ben (5 points, 2-for-4, 5 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 turnovers, 2 blocked shots) for $15.5 million is better than having Drew Gooden for $6.4 million? Since I haven't picked on him in a while, I am morally obligated to once again point out that John Hollinger said of the Chicago-Cleveland trade "This one works, big time (for Cleveland)."

Daniel Gibson: I said he was going to need to step up and hit some big threes for the Cavs. He didn't (0-for-3).

Devin Brown: Amazingly, he was Cleveland's second-best player last night (10 points, 8 rebounds), yet he shot 2-for-8 from the field. That's the kind of night it was for the Cavaliers. Speaking of which...

Dwayne Jones: He was a mere two seconds shy of achieving a seven trillion. Even at six, it's still the highest trillion of the playoffs so far.

Gilbert Arenas: On a night in which almost everything went Washington's way, there was one little cause for concern: Agent Zero reinjured his surgically-repaired left knee. The Wizards claim that Arenas only has a bone bruise and he's listed as day-to-day. But still...it feels a little ominous, doesn't it?

DeShawn Stevenson: Yes. We get it. You can't feel your face. Or whatever. But did you have to steal Hulk Hogan's ear-move too? The Locksmith has officially gone from "mildly amusing" to "unbearably annoying."

But here's a question. What exactly is up with Stevenson's hand gesture? Caseta said: "Here's some material for your WotN: the announcers of the Cavs-Wizards game. Stevenson kept doing the 'can't feel my face' thing, and they kept talking about how no one can see him. They were thinking his gesture meant he was hiding or something. Quite annoying. especially after all the talk during the past couple of weeks. I wonder what they think Mutombo's wagging finger means...perhaps 'do you want to smell my finger ?'"

And this was Mike's response: "Actually, and I'm getting quite annoyed at this, the Hand-Waving-Infront-Of-The-Face gesture is 'You Can't See Me' started by one John Cena of WWE and The Marine fame. He started using it as part of his gimmick about two, two and a half years ago now. Those announcers were actually spot on. Everyone else who thinks that it means that he can't feel his face or he's cooling off his hot hand is just plain wrong."

Can we get a ruling on this? Has Stevenson ever explained it? Does anybody know?

Carlos Boozer: I guess Boozer is taking those Karl Malone comparisons pretty seriously? Remember the trail of broken bodies left behind by The Mailman? Well, last night Boozer decided to begin his own trail, starting with Carl Landry.

Mehmet Okur: He had a double-double (12 points, 11 rebounds), but he also missed 10 of his 13 shot attempts. And his bricklaying did not help Utah's cause.

Andre Kirilenko: He is Utah's X-Factor. When the Russian Rifle is on his game -- scoring, rebounding, passing, playing defense, doing all the little things -- the Jazz seem unstoppable. The only problem is, you never know which Kirilenko is going to show up: The do-everything defensive ace, or the can't-to-anything moper? Last night he was more or less the latter: 5 points, 2-for-7, 2 rebounds, zero assists, 2 turnovers, 1 blocked shot, and 4 fouls. How can such a useful guy be so useless in such a big game? Update! Dunpizzle had this to add: "More AK47 WotN - he had the audacity to try to win a 2nd straight game with a flop." Oh my stars and garters, he did. How did I miss that?! Have...have I become desensitized to Andre's flopping??


Some random Jazz fan: Memo to front row spectators everywhere: Bob Delaney will not tolerate your potty mouth. [From Odenized.]


Tracy McGrady apologists: An anonymous reader left this comment on yesterday's Tracy McGrady: Responsible for the world and all its woes post: "Well, last night was, pretty much, T-Mac's fault that the Jazz lost the game."

However, another anonymous reader begged very much to differ: "Uh, not based on what I see. Sure he brought the Rockets close, but he almost bricked the game at the end as well. It was Carl Landry's drawn foul that gave the Rockets a 93-86 lead (opposed to 92-86). Tracy's screwup offensive foul allowed the Jazz to to pull within 93-92 (opposed to 92-92). Then Landry's block saved the lead for the win (no OT). It's annoying that most media members just blindly give McGrady a free pass, other than maybe Tony Kornheiser on Pardon The Interruption. That's 'why y'all hatin' on T-mac so much,' because at some point seven first round exits has to mean something."

It should be noted that McGrady scored 7 points in the final 3:29 of the fourth, and those were very important points. However, the win wasn't all Tracy, as Lipsome123 pointed out: "I keep seeing things about T-mac being great in the 4th quarter...really?! 2-8 shooting, bad fouls, leaving Okur wide open for a three is good? He was saved by his teammates." Keep in mind too that the win hardly absolves McGrady of several seasons worth of big game disappearances. As JR commented -- fairly or unfairly -- "T-Mac is just a real life exhibition of learned helplessness. I think its gotten to the point where we have to recognise T-Mac as the bizarro Kobe." Personally? I'd like to see Tracy put an end to all that. Just not against my Jazz, please.

ESPN caption writers: Basketbawful reader Quinton sent this in an email: "Big Q here, lover, fighter, die hard rockets fan. Thought you'd be interested in ESPN mislabeling not one of our role players, but our star shooting guard as a center." He's not wrong. Here's ESPN's caption for the lead picture of today's WotN post: "Houston Rockets center Tracy McGrady loses the ball as he heads against Utah Jazz guard Ronnie Brewer (9) during the first quarter of Game 3 of a first-round NBA basketball playoff series Thursday, April 24, 2008, in Salt Lake City." Center? So what, does that mean Yao is out of a job when his foot heals?

Labels: Andre Kirilenko, Ben Wallace, box score madness, Carlos Boozer, Cleveland Cavaliers, DeShawn Stevenson, Gilbert Arenas, Lebron James, Orlando Magic, Rasho Nesterovic, Tracy McGrady, Wally Szczerbiak

DeShawn Stevenson: "I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them...." Oops. Sorry. Wrong story. But for the record, I did warn Stevenson. Who in their right mind would want to rile up LeBron James? Would you spit on a cop? Would you kick a rabid dog in the snout? Would you show up on Mother's Day and tell your mom to bake you a pot pie? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then congratulations: You're officially as stupid as the Locksmith.

According to the Wizards' medical staff, it's going to take five to six weeks for Stevenson's eyebrows to grow back after the way LeBron torched him last night: 30 points, 9 rebounds, 12 assists, and 2 blocked shots in the Cavaliers' 116-86 atomic blasting of the Wizards. That 30-point margin represents Cleveland's biggest margin of victory in 112 playoff games. Stevenson played okay -- 12 points (4-for-7), 2 assists -- but King James ate his lunch. The defining moment of this "rivalry" happened last night when Stevenson hit a three to reduce Cleveland's lead to 16 points and blew on his "hot hand." LeBron responded with a three of his own with Stevenson in the poster. Watch for yourself. [From Odenized.]


Gilbert Arenas: Agent Zero! Now...plain zero!! It's not enough that Gil had a bad game -- 7 points, 2-for-10 shooting, 3 turnovers, 4 fouls -- he further humiliated himself by getting an exceptionally stupid technical foul by giving Wally Szczerbiak a needless post-foul shove. I kind of expected better of Arenas. And don't forget that his "I think everybody wants Cleveland in that first round" and "We don't think they can beat us in the playoffs three years straight" comments provided plenty of bullentin board material for last night's beating.

Brendan Haywood: Just when we all thought that the Wizards couldn't possibly light a bigger fire under LeBron, Haywood proved us wrong by getting ejected for shoving James out of bounds to prevent a dunk. As fouls go, it wasn't that hard -- certainly not a "Kevin McHale clotheslines Kurt Rambis" or a Bill Laimbeer special -- but it was the kind of player-in-the-air hit that could have caused LeBron to fall and possibly injure himself. So it was dangerous and stupid. Great work, Brendan. Top notch. Update! Basketbawful reader Tonewise would like to remind everybody about Haywood's summer job.


Oleksiy Pecherov: The Ukrainian Nightmare rounded out Washington's night of woe by putting up a three trillion. Seems fitting.

Tracy McGrady: It's not that T-Mac didn't play well -- 23 points, 13 rebounds, 9 assists, 3 steals, and 2 blocked shots -- it's that he pulled off yet another of his infamous four quarter disappearing acts, scoring only 1 point on 0-for-4 shooting. McGrady is now 0-for-7 in the fourth quarter in this series. It's deja vu all over again. It's deja vu all over again. It's...oh, you get it.

After the game, McGrady explained that it was exhaustion, and not clutchshotitis, that caused his latest fourth quarter collapse. "I had no legs. I was on empty. Banging with Matt Harpring, trying to rebound, trying to make plays for my team, trying to score, playing 43 minutes. That's a lot."

That's true. It was a lot. And I watched the game: T-Mac really was tired. But his post-game analysis felt like just another McGrady excuse. I did everything I could, but my team couldn't win. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think great players make those kind of excuses. I remember after a bone-tired Larry Bird played almost every minute of the 1985 NBA Finals, somebody asked him why the Celtics lost. His reply? "We wanted to win. [The Lakers] just played better." He could have blamed exhaustion, or the fact that he had a chronic elbow injury (he did), or explained that he injured his shooting hand in a bar fight during the Eastern Conference Finals (it's true). But Bird wasn't an excuse maker. Neither was Magic. Or Jordan (during his pre-Washington days, anyway).

McGrady really is on the same level of Kobe and LeBron...through three quarters. But he is and seemingly will always be 12 minutes away from true greatness.

Doug Collins and (I think) Kevin Harlan: I don't know if it was a studio edict or they just feel sorry for the guy, but Collins and Harlan spent most of the first three quarters making excuses for McGrady's inevitable failure. They repeatedly said that McGrady was having a great game -- which he did, until the fourth quarter -- and stated unequivocally that a Rockets' loss would not be T-Mac's fault. It's like they knew what was going to happen so they needed to start the excuse-making early. Well, at any rate, it's nice to know that McGrady is the one superstar who can't be faulted for his team's losses. According to these guys, anyway.

Update! Magic Johnson: From JustinS: "Magic must have received the memo, too, because he couldn't shut the hell up about McGrady during the half-time and post-game shows. I loved Magic as a player, but he's one of the worst commentators ever. He's in the Reggie Miller/Jon Barry League of Bad." Thanks, Justin. I had meant to include Magic the first time around. And speaking of Reggie Miller...

Update! Reggie Miller: Reg continues to mangle the English language during live broadcasts, to regularly amusing effect. Nothing so far has been any more hilarious than what he said last night, as pointed out by Ronald Mexico Sr. in my NBA Closer column today: "Did anyone else hear Reggie Miller proclaim that LeBron James was 'coming at the basket with a full steam of head!' in the first half of the game last night? Honestly the best line of any announcer ever. Period. Even Emmitt Smith giggled after that one."

Luther Head: Poor Luther. While his former U of I teammate Deron Williams was kicking the Rockets' collective butt -- despite a sore butt of his own -- Head was having a not-so-good game: zero points, 0-for-4, 1 rebound, and a bunch of Cheerios in almost 12 minutes of lack-tion. I bet he really misses college.

Andre Kirilenko's offense: The Russian Rifle's barrel got jammed last night; he scored only 3 points on 1-for-8 shooting. But he played some pretty mean D on McGrady, especially in the third and fourth quarters. And I just love it when the broadcasters talk about how long he is.

Update! Bad officiating: I've gotten several emails and comments about the offensive foul that got called on Luis Scola near the end of the Jazz-Rockets game. And yeah: It was bad. Real bad. Extra shame on Andre Kirilenko and his phony flop. As dunpizzle said: "The Stern Button made its playoff debut in Houston. Kirilenko showing us what happens after a Ric Flair chop sealed the deal for Utah and discredited a huge game-tying three from Bobby Jackson." Actually, I don't think it was The Stern Button, because the league would have benefitted from Houston winning. More games = Bigger television revenues. But it sure was one lousy piece of shit officiating. You can see it at the 1:15 mark.


This is what a bitter T-Mac had to say after the game: "You can’t call that. I like (referee) Tony Brothers, but that was a bad call. Very, very bad call. Three points down, crucial point in the game and Kirilenko flops. He flops and you call a foul on that? It was a bad call." You're not wrong, Tracy.

Also, from quick at Deadspin: "In T-Mac's defense, the refs gave Utah that game. AK-47 looked like an extra in a Jet Li movie, the way he flew when Scola brushed him with a hand. It was absurd. Somebody needs to take that guy out back and shoot him with his own gun."

Labels: Andre Kirilenko, Brendan Haywood, DeShawn Stevenson, Doug Collins, Gilbert Arenas, Tracy McGrady, Worst of the Night