Basketbawful

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Worst of the Night: December 10th, 2012

The Raptors: The Blazers went an NBA record 0-20 from deep, but that wasn’t going to stop them from beating the Raptors by 18 points, nor was the team having to recall Victor Claver and Will Barton from the Idaho Stampede. Claver got the start, along with Sasha Pavlovic, but still the Blazers triumphed, holding the Raptors to a pitiful 74 points.

Given all that the Blazers have been through with injuries and high draft expectations, it's not without a smidgen of irony that undrafted Wesley Matthews has been their ironman. His streak of 250 consecutive games, the 2^nd longest in the league after Westbrook, came to an end against the Raptors when he missed an NBA game for the first time in his career.

The Raptors could’ve use an ironman or two (especially if they came equipped with laser cannons), seeing that they lost Bargnani, Lowry, and Amir Johnson during the game. The first two went out with injuries, but Amir put a little more pizazz into his exit by throwing his mouthpiece at an official. I bet that display almost made Sheed wish he rocked a mouthpiece.

Dwane Casey summed up what everybody was thinking after the game. "I don’t know what happened with Amir. He kind of lost his mind there for a little bit." Ya think, coach?

The Purple Paupers: Without the royal presence of Tyreke Evans, the Kings didn't stand much of a chance against the suddenly decent Mavericks. It didn’t matter that Chris Kaman is playing on a glowing purple ankle, or that Shawn Marion missed the game with groin issues; the Purple Paupers were in town, so the Mavericks didn’t have to worry about a team being within 20 points of them for most of the game. Dallas said goodbye to blue Mondays with a 31-3 spurt, during which time their opponent missed 12 straight shots and turned it over 9 times.

Harden in street clothes: Linsanity returned to the NBA, but the stoic Spurs were unaffected. Unlike his previous career-high 38 points against the Lakers, Lin left the overtime empty handed, with the Spurs prevailing on the strength of Gary Neal’s career high 29 points and Tony Parker’s 1^st career triple double. Omer Asik hopped on the career-high bus, and rode it to his stop at 21 jump shot street.

The Pistons: The Sixers needed some good news after Dr. Bynum’s latest self diagnosis, and like he’s been doing all season, Jrue Holiday provided it. His 25 points and 8 assists were enough to propel Philadelphia past the mostly firing Pistons. Jrue was at his best in the 4^th quarter, when he scored a dozen points, appeasing the Philly fans and leaving the home crowd booing to the Lakers.

The Dirty Birds: The Hawks couldn’t work their Memphis magic on the Heat. LeBron hopped on his trampoline and came down with a 9 point win. For what it’s worth, Pookie’s 11-13 night was the best shooting percentage of his career. Apparently, like his crustacean teammate, he’s of the opinion that Sir Chuck should shut his mouth about aging superstars.

The Bobcats: Hometown kid Stephen Curry was kind enough to give the Charlotte fans something to cheer about, even if the Bobcats weren’t. He extended his streak of 20 point games to 8, while the Bobcats losing streak grew to the same number. Sesame street must have gotten the number 8 to sponsor the game, because the Cats shot 8 airballs, 4 from Byron Mullens alone.

The number 8 has haunted Michael Jordan ever since he took a break between three-peats to play baseball. The snowballing losses have Jordan talking to the bench during game breaks. Something tells me he’s using the motivational techniques that he pioneered on Kwame Brown. Unlike Kobe, his Airness is savvy enough to keep this from resulting in a $100,000 fine.

Alright guys, suck it to them

Lacktion:

Blazers-Raptors: It’s nice to have Will Barton back after his stint in the D-League. Barton used a full 11 minutes and 36 seconds to do what he does best, racking up a +2 suck differential with a foul and a miss. John Lucas the third scoffed at his rival, telling him, “I’m the new king of lacktion” with a +5 suck differential in 12 minutes and 3 seconds.

Warriors-Bobcats: Ken Bazemore amazed with his combined +1 suck differential and a Mario. Faithful companion Jeremy Tyler was right behind him with a 24 second Mario.

Sixers-Pistons: Arnett Moultree was inconspicuous during a 1.5 trillion.

Spurs-Rockets: Patty Mills came within 6 seconds of a 2 trillion, while James Anderson sported a 32 second Mario. On the opposing side, Cole Aldrich left no trace of his 110 seconds off the bench.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

this site is going downhill...

12/13/2012 11:40 AM