TNT doesn't take advantage of Barkley's compulsive gambling like they used to

The Nadzghouls: It's a good thing that Charles Barkley didn't make a bet to kiss an animal's buttocks on this one, as he has been known to do. As it turned out, it was the Heat who had no chance against a Knick team without Melo, losing the game by 20 points on their home floor. Raymond Felton and Steve Novak were unable to feel their faces, combining for 10 threes. Fayton was succinct in his appraisal of the game. "It was fun", he said.  I bet.

Although, I doubt everyone had a good time. That is unless, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh really enjoy each having 3 field goals and combining to shoot 6-25. With 31 points, 10 rebounds, and 9 assists, LeBron James looked around imploringly, but no teammate was scoring well enough to give him that last assist for a triple-double. 

After the game, Barkley gave the excuse that Pookie was getting old, which evidently was not the case before this game. Such is the power of the 2012-13 New York Knickerbockers. As the AP put it, "Another Knicks-Heat game, another 20-point Knicks win". Yup, that Mayan apocalypse is right on schedule.

Woodson is closer to Ray than any Heat player

Satisfaction: The Suns organization was kind enough to write the jokes for us. By losing on Satisfaction Guaranteed Night, they pretty much insured that anyone who wanted to poke fun at their ineptitude would get a chance. An evening worth of forced Rolling Stones references and occasionally dirty jokes followed.

I must confess, I only watched parts of this game. Turner Classic Movies was playing the Third Man, and although I've seen that movie several times, I still couldn't resist it's allure at the expense of this live sporting event.

The announcers sounded like they also would've liked to flip to another channel. Whenever I'd check in on the game, they'd invariably be talking about football or high school memories etc...  In the end, the contest was decided by the 'who has OJ Mayo' factor.

Of course, David Stern comes away from all this with more egg on his face. Only a week after fining the Spurs, the same TNT time slot is given to the Suns vs. the Mavericks, a match-up that nobody's cared about in at least half a decade. To make matters worse, the timing of this failed bush-league promotion had the effect of making the entire league look desperate for the nation's attention, which I'm sure this game was unable to arouse.

Despite the fact that Tiago Splitter has a higher PER than all but 1 player on either team, the league has yet to fine itself for trying to make the country watch this game.

Who doesn't wanna see Carter vs O'neal in 2012?

Lacktion:

Heat-Knicks: Heat sharpshooter James Jones zeroed in on a 2 trillion. For the Knicks, Chris Copeland composed his own symphony of silence in 2 minutes and 18 seconds.