There's very little that's right with this picture

Intimidation: The Knicks and the Heat came into last night's TNT game, not as fearsome titans ready for battle, but as a team that just lost to the Wizards versus a team that needed a J.R. Smith buzzer-beater to get by the Bobcats. But as of yet David Stern has not fined anybody for making the league look diluted.

The Knicks might've made this one more convincing if Melo didn't lacerate his hand diving for a loose ball. The forward later speculated, "I'm gonna have to take some time off from diving in the stands". Somewhere, George Karl is smiling at that one.

The Blazers: Roy Hibbert had as many missed shots as points, 10, but that didn't stop the Blazers from losing. Paul George stayed hot with 22 points and the Pacers only missed 1 free throw. In the end, Portland simply couldn't withstand giving over 12 minutes each to Joel Freeland and Will Barton. The lacktion section frequenters combined for 0 points.

The T-pups: The Boston Celtics felt the need to put some sense back into the world and snapped Minnesota's 2 game winning streak. Garnett remained unbeaten against the team that he's the all-time leader for in virtually every positive statistical category. His undefeated record might have been challenged if the T-pups would've converted on more than 14 of their 30 free throws.


Steph demonstrating how much space the D is giving him

The Piston backcourt: The Thompson and Curry combo outscored their Detroit counterpart by 42 points, Greg Monroe didn't reach double digits, and David Lee had a 20/10 game. Oddly enough, this merely led to a 7 point victory for the Warriors who gave up season highs to Tayshaun Prince and Rodney Stuckey.      

The trials of Varejao: The safest bet in the NBA continued to pay off, as the Cavs lost again and Varejao extended his streak to 10 straight games with at least 15 rebounds. Judging by his 4 for 16 accuracy, the psychological toll of the streak has started to effect the Brazilian's shooting. Of course, he was still listed as the team's top performer. Anyone who thinks that shooting 25% for a night is gonna stop Varejao from outclassing his teammates, clearly hasn't been watching the Cavs this year, and is therefore a very lucky person. It was the kind of game for the Bulls where Donald Sloan could lead the team in scoring, and they would still win by 10 points. 

The Bucks: Tony and Monta (Tony Montana) traded, 20 point, 10 assist nights. With Monta opting for inefficiency as a shooter, 5-15, and Tony narrowly avoiding a triple bumble in the bathtub with a chainsaw, 7 turnovers. The Spurs told the Bucks a long time ago not to fuck with them, and they controlled the game with a 53-36 advantage on the glass.

Monta knows where this is going

The AP, typo machine: This game took place shortly after David Stern had remarked his $250,000 fine was "appropriate". Maybe that's why the bench felt extra-motivated to demonstrate watching them isn't so terrible as to necessitate severe monetary penalties. The bench contributed 13 assists, but you wouldn't know it from listening to the Associated Press.
Even with Neal starting in place of an injured Danny Green, San Antonio's bench had 40 points, 25 rebounds and 13 rebounds, and
And...? And, get your shit straight AP. There are people starving in Amsterdam, you know? At least, I can somewhat relate to the author of the article, who's clearly an Ilyasova fantasy owner.
Ilyasova scored eight straight points for the Bucks in a two-minute span late in the first quarter, besting his season average of 6.9.
Ah, Ilyasova. Even in success you find failure, and then some more failure. 

Whoever was guarding Al Jefferson: Big Al went off for 31 points and 15 rebounds, despite reportedly having such a sore back that he struggled to put on his socks. It was his best game of the young season, and unsurprisingly it came against the Magic. I've often suspected that dominating the post-puma Magic is less difficult that putting on a pair of socks, and now I have proof. When you factor in that the next highest scorer in the game was also on Al's team, it's really no surprise the Jazz emerged triumphant from this 87-81 shitfest.

Bargnani is moonlighting in this Jack in the Box commercial

Raptors who aren't named Kyle Lowry: The Raptors wasted a '73 Tiny Archibald from Kyle Lowry, against the Kings, no less. In 1973, Tiny Archibald averaged 34 points and 11 assists per game, which were the exact numbers Lowry put up on Wednesday. He joined James Harden as the only other player to accumulate such statistics this year, although both Tony Parker and Jrue Holiday have come close.

How did the Raptors piss away such an impressive performance from their point guard? Maybe Andrea 'Zuckerman' Bargnani knows, 8 points, 3 for 14. If he doesn't know, I'd ask Valanciunas, because Jonas had a matching 3 points and 3 rebounds. I'm gonna excuse Ed Davis and Mickael Pietrus for not being named Kyle Lowry, since they both played well.

The Zeke Child: For a game at least, a DNP-CD for the Zeke-child seemed to appease the scorned spirit of Sacramento.

Teams playing LA teams: The Pelicans and the Mavericks lost to their rivals from LA by a combined 38 points. The Mavericks bore the worst of it, losing by 22 to the Clippers, and having Vince Carter listed as their top performer. Ouch. Lamar Odom got his revenge for getting paid to not play well, grabbing 11 rebounds, his season high and something he never did in a Maverick uniform. 

Lacktion:
Knicks-Bobcats: James White of the Knicks appeared for 8 seconds earning himself a Supermario.
Pacers-Blazers: Joel Freeland was tall enough for a 3:1 Voskuhl in 12 minutes and 45 seconds. 
Celtics-Pups: The other Celtics made no room at the inn for Kris Joseph and his +1 suck differential. Leandro Barbosa was a human blur again during his 4 second Supermario.
Warriors-Pistons: The contrastingly named pair of Ken Bazemore and Jeremy Tyler were once again brothers of the Mario variety. Each player logged 37 seconds. 
Spurs-Bucks: John Henson shot his best friend, before realizing he was now his brother in law, with a +2 suck differential in 2 minutes and 6 seconds. 

2 Comments:
Anonymous matt said...
!!! BAWFUL ALERT !!!

Javale McGee never fails to amaze. Here he is with yet another completely boneheaded play:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bIzDVFM50ok

Blogger Barry said...
Watching the Nuggets is always worth it, not only because they play fun to watch basketball but with McGee there, anything could happen.

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