The rest of the game wasn't any prettier

Cleveland: The Suns were the latest team to play the hit new game show Who Wants to Beat the Cleveland Cavaliers. Varejao continued building his case for martyrdom, contributing 20 points and 18 rebounds in another dreary loss. Jermaine O'Neal fell a point short of scoring in double digits for 6 straight games. That wasn't a joke, he actually had a scoring streak going.

Jared Dudley, Grizzly slighting machine: Dudley may have slighted the Grizzlies, but he was right about one thing in the following quote, the Suns are not the best team in the West.
We're not Oklahoma City. We're not the best team in the West, but we can play better and we can come home above .500.
I don't know if Dudley doesn't know the Griz have the best record because of not checking the standings lately, or maybe he just figures 'let's not kid ourselves'. Either way, if I was Dudley, I wouldn't be expecting my yearly Christmas card from Zach Randolph. 

Fruit Basket Alert: A donation basket was passed around the Phoenix locker room after the game. The lucky planned recipient this time, is none other than Kyrie Irving, who the Suns wanted to thank for breaking his left index-finger. Scola spoke with Basketbawful reporters after the game.
I really don't know if we could've gotten this win if Kyrie was playing. So we wanted to make sure to thank him for his timely injury. All the guys were really nervous about the record, (the Suns avoided their worst road start in 10 years with this win) so this win was huge. Maybe now, we can all get some sleep without constant prank calls from Dan Majerle. 
At this point Scola excused himself from the interview, so he could grab a large piece of raw meat. He then walked over to an open fire and shoved his fist and forearm into the flames. He stood there cooking his meal intently, with sweat forming on his brow and a look of excruciating pain on his face. At this point, one of our reporters, a middle-aged bespectacled gentleman in a fedora hat, asked Scola if he wouldn't want a skewer of some sort. Scola made a grunting noise and charged him, causing the reporter to run in terror. As he looked back, he saw that Chris Kaman had followed the scent of burning meat to the fire, and the two large men were battling each other for the hunk of meat, presumably mammoth, that lay smoldering in the flames. 


$16 million would bring a smile to your face too

Money well spent: In Tuesday's win against the Mavericks, the two largest salaries for the 76ers were being paid to Andrew Bynum (playing with his hair) and Elton Brand (playing against them). It was a bold strategy. Surprisingly, it actually paid off.

The Mavericks: Elton Brand got in a 17 point revenge game against the team that amnestied him, but the 6ers were able to escape with the night's last laugh. Both Philadelphia forwards felt pretty comfortable facing Dallas, as the Thaddeus-Turner tandem only took 26 attempts to tally 42 points. But Philadelphia couldn't have done it without a big 10 points from frequent lacktion contributor Maalik Wayns. Maalik is the only 6er making under half a million this year. With all the money being spent on inactive and opposing players, I'm sure the front office was glad to get a little bang for their buck.

The Raptors: This time it was the Houston Rockets who took it upon themselves to demonstrate that life is easier when you're playing Toronto. Lin and Harden combined for 40 points, 22 assists, and 6 steals. Bargnani bounced back from the worst game of his career, inverting his 12 attempts into 21 points; but as we've seen before, the Raptors don't tend to win when Bargnani plays well. Then again, when a team is 3 and 12, they don't tend to win at all.   

The Kings: Kevin Love dropped the 20/20 bomb. When the smoke had cleared, John Salmons had lost an ear, and the Timberwolves had their first win in 6 tries.

The Lakers: It looked like the Lakers were on their way to a Hollywood Ending, despite having played a sloppy, unbalanced game against the Pacers, where neither team reached 80 points. Kobe stuck a 3 pointer, giving him 40 points, and the Lakers the tie. But then they forgot the court has two baskets, and this happened:



 
At least in pickup ball, the primary defender usually makes some effort to stop the ball. Sometimes too much switching is clearly a bad idea, kinda like expecting Pau Gasol to stop driving point guard.

Lacktion:
Suns-Cavs: Kendall Marshall missed once in 2 minutes and 33 seconds for a +1 suck differential. While an opposing Cavalier, Donald Sloan, went for a cool 3 trillion.
Rockets-Raptors: Linas Kleiza's 2 fouls, 1 brick, and 1 turnover netted him a +4 suck differential in 5 minutes and 8 seconds. For the Rockets, Terrence Jones and Donatas Motiejunas became on screwball Mario brother comedy in 1:03 a piece.
 
2 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
What happened to the font? What?! Tell me!

Blogger dmillika said...
I'd say the Spurs getting fined is as bawful as it gets.

Stern, all Napolean-complex bitch status.

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