Superstar material right there.
On our very first Worst Of The Night this season, commenter Lord Kerrance had this to say about the Boshmallow's personal hubris upon his successful attachment to the "Heatles" -
From the Toronto Star:
"Really, it’s all about being on TV at the end of the day," the five-time all-star said Tuesday. "Seriously. A guy can average 20 and 10, and nobody really cares. If you don’t see it (on U.S. national TV), then it doesn’t really happen."
Glad to know that nationally televised double-single counts. Looking forward to many more.
I replied...
I think we HAVE to do a CB4 Nationally Televised Double-Single Tracker now.
Everyone with me? :D :D
Despite encouragement by The Other Chris, Lord Kerrance worried about a stat curse from our preemptive smackdown of the 7th most important member of the South Beach triumverate...but we needn't have fretted.
It turns out that he indeed was setting the tone for a mist of mediocrity, one which can now be quantified!
---
Listed below are CB's nationally televised games (whether in the US or Canada) and the critical statline for this elite pillow forward - whether he earned double-digits in one category or less, or not.
10/26
Heat-Celtics (TNT)
Not a single double - he did go a mere 3-11 from the field though!
10/29
Magic-Heat (ESPN)
10 boards, 11 points - double-double
11/11
Celtics-Heat (TNT)
15 points - single-double!!!!!!!!!!
11/13
Craptors-Heat (TSN - nationally televised in Canada LOL)
12 points - single-double!
11/17
Suns-Heat (ESPN)
35 points!...and nothing else. Single-double.
11/24
Heat-Magic (ESPN)
21 points - single-double!
12/2
Heat-Cadavers (TNT)
15 points - single-double
12/10
Heat-Warriors (ESPN)
16 points - single-double
12/17
Heat-Knicks (ESPN)
26 points - single-double
12/23
Heat-Suns (TNT)
23 points AND 11 boards - double-double
12/25
Heat-Lakers (ABC)
10 assists, 27 points - double-double
1/13
Heat-Nuggets (TNT)
24 points - single-double
1/15
Heat-Bulls (WGN)
17 points, but
1/30
Heat-Thunder (ABC)
20 points - single-double!
2/3
Heat-Magic (TNT)
13 points - single-double
2/13
Heat-Celtics (ABC)
10 boards, 24 points - double-double
2/16
Heat-Craptors (TSN2 - nationally televised in Canada!)
25 points - single-double
2/24
Heat-Bulls (TNT)
2/27
Knicks-Heat (ESPN)
12 boards, 20 points - double-double
3/3
Magic-Heat (TNT)
13 points - single-double
Final Conclusion
Like a Bosh, 13 single-doubles and one less-than-single double performance (out of 20 nationally televised games) CAN'T be wrong, can they? And with one of his double-doubles resulting from having 11 bricks, this means that 70% of his nationally televised performances are middling-or-worse.
Maybe there was something to the idea that he played better rollerskating in obscurity on a bad team...just maybe.
Labels: Chris Bosh, Epic Fail, Miami Heat, overrated, pillow forward, single-double
57 Comments:
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Heat-Bulls (TNT)
11 bricks - single-double!!!!
Are you trying to hide six of his bricks?
I expect full disclosure in all brick-related matters.
To be fair, there are a lot of good rebounders on our team and he leads us. LeBron and Wade each get 7. Mike Miller gets around 5. Ilgauskus's corpse still can board.
My wife suggested Likea Bosh is a "flower forward".
I was going to suggest "cower forward", but someone beat me to it in the previous thread.
--We talkin' bout practice? --
When asked if he ever missed any days at work, "I never missed a shooting day, maybe a re-hersal day, but... but... we talkin' bout practice!"
Pure gold!
Hope somebody is recording that shit and can post the vid.
One point guard had 6 shots vs 13 assists.
The other had 17 shots vs 1 assist.
Guess who was who, and which team won.
BUT BOSH WITH A 17-14 SUCK IT BAWFUL!
You think he read this post?
Puffy Forward
Pooh-bear Forward
Also, yeah - it's tough to be a Heat fan nowadays. Luckily, since I have no official affiliation with Miami, I can just sit back, relax, and enjoy some other fine teams, who do not suck balls.
(can't take credit for that one)
Mladen: He's been the red rocket for years. It's bawfultastic.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like LeBron got most of his stats in garbage time. OK, the entire game was garbage time, but I mean the part where the trash was being compacted into a cube by an industrial strength press.
The best defense is the power of brain sucking:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/games/2011030517/gallery/im:urn:newsml:sports.yahoo,getty:20050301:nba,photo,30faf4b73f061018eaafbc516a3daf69-getty-basket-britain-new-jersey-raptors:1
tonious35
1) Craptors suck. Doesn't matter that they played in Europe. Today. and yesterday. They suck (t)here as much as ever...or even more.
2) Nyets (njets) also suck. As Miša (M. Prokhorof)would say: 'oh bljad'
3) Anyone interested in League Pass access? I'm up until morning...well, not too often. +7 hours are usually too much. If yea, email p6hjakonn@hotmail.com
1) the craptors suck. Even in London. May be it is because London also sucks. (Though not as much as Glasgow or...well...the craptors)
2) The Nyets (njets) also suck. As Miša (M. Prokhorov) would say: 'oi bljad. Nahui mne nada bõla etava jebannava kluba pakupit?'
3. Anyone interested in League Pass access? Being in Europe, I hardly ever use it (yawn, sleep)
If yes, shoot me an email: p6hjakonn@hotmail.com
Before: "Carrrrlos Arrrrrrrroyo!"
After: "Carlos Arroyo!"
P.S. I hope the Celtics play this at their games now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYH9LzAzR3E
What the hell is going on? Did I die and go to spur fan heaven?
Somebody sold his soul, that's what happened. I'm guessing Tony Parker...
I know, right? He needs to stop being so kind and considerate and start jacking up more shots- his team needs him!
LeBron had an open FT line pull up if he wanted. But I guess going right at Noah with a left handed layup brick is a better idea.
And when it was over, Spoelstra said some in the Heat locker room were moved to tears.
"Just to come up short again and again, it hurts," Bosh said. "We all want to win. We all want to win very badly."
Why do you think Bosh keeps crying? Do you think Lebron and Dwade paddle him after every loss?
http://twitter.com/WindhorstESPN
"Spoelstra said some Heat players are crying in the locker room at the moment. "
Then 30 minutes later
"Bosh said he was not one of the guys crying but that he almost did. "
Time for the internet detectives to figure out who the leaky eyes belong to!
that is all.
poty.
On Lakers-Spurs - Lakers look impressive, really? After getting 65 in the first half, they couldn't crack 100 against the Spurs BENCH. Phil Jackson has to put the starters back in after Duncan, Parker, and Ginobili had long-since checked out. Yeah, that's not happening in the playoffs. I was just waiting for the inevitable meltdown. ABC didn't disappoint, highlighting some goof named "Bob" who was another innocent victim of Ron Artest, and interviewing Magic (who clearly wasn't in postseason form, my god he was huge).
I'm mostly kidding, btw, the game was over at halftime and everyone in the building knew it.
"The Miami Heat are exactly what everyone wanted, losing games," Wade said. "The world is better now because the Heat is losing."
Via Ball don't lie.
What a giant salty vagina. Can we keep him away from the razors and get him some Linkin Park? Please?
Every team that defeats Miami losses the immediately next game...
New York took 'em and then lost at Orlando...
Orlando won on Thursday, and then lost to the Bulls...
And San Antonio whipped their asses and then took a beating from L.A. ...
Has the "Evil Big Three" mastered the forces of Karma???
Anyone else nearly laugh at Wade's woe-is-me attitude at the post-game conference? "“This is what everyone wanted. The world’s better now because the Heat are losing." Like, does this asshole believe they're being victimized in some way? You're 3 of the top-10 players in the league and you danced and shouted your way through the most over-the-top introduction with that embarrassing stage and smoke machine bullshit back in the summer. Fuck you, D-Wade.
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lho57kQNhu1qzb7vjo1_500.png
thank you, much appreciated.
Of course Vag Carter goes and bonks the last two freebies after "earning" said foul and a chance to tie up the game. Vincent Lamar Carter, indeed.
The Heat? 5-12 in games decided by 5 points or less. 'Nuff said.
And Dwayne Wade's pity party is pathetic. What is he, 17, on the internet and complaining that no girls like him? You wanted the spotlight, you wanted to compete for championships - or bask in the glow of your own enormous egos, haven't figured out which yet - guess what, media scrutiny comes with that. Look at the Lakers for fuck's sake. Every time Kobe sneezes, the internet goes bananas. You made your fucking bed, now lie in it. Or lock yourself in your room, cut yourself and listen to Elliott Smith.
Ya mean that a goofy bowtie does NOT make people fall in love with you? Whodda thunk it!??!?!?!
Let's face it: nobody likes the Heat (except the usual a$$ lickers), everybody doubts them and drools at every single loss.
So... what would happen if it was MJ? He would cry and bitch about how nobody likes him???
Or would he punch some teamate in the face and drop 50 for the next 10 games?
Let's see who is who...
PS: I won't even mention Chris Posh, he is just a third fiddler... like Boozer, West...
*echo*
I saw one very quick replay and it was impossible to tell what happened. I'll go check it out on nba.com.
Regardless, the Heat:
a) Put themselves in that position at the end of the game by collapsing in the second half, again.
b) Put themselves in that position by not rebounding the free throw.
c) Still had a chance to win the game from both of their all-world players.
Yeah, it probably was a terrible call. But it's easy to play the coulda/woulda/shoulda game. If the Heat still had a 6 point lead at that point, who cares if the refs blow a call?