The Indiana Pacers: This team has suffered several heartbreaking losses this season. On Friday night, they suffered another one, courtesy of Dirk Nowitzki. Take note of how the video closes on a dejected Larry Bird.


Mind you, Dirk shot pretty poorly (10-for-26) and was only 2-for-10 in the second half until he hit the game-winner. I guess the Pacers just naturally raise the clutchocity of their opponents or something. The Pacers have now lost three in a row at home. And it may not even be home for much longer.

Danny Granger: I know he's really good and all that, but 18 points on 26 shots? They're called teammates, Danny. Use 'em.

The Toronto Craptors: The Craptors hadn't played since Monday -- a 26-point loss to the Bobcats in Charlotte -- but they didn't accomplish anything with that time off, unless they unlocked a couple new songs on Guitar Hero, because the Bobcats traveled to Toronto to deliver another double-digit loss. The Craptors have now lost nine of their last 10 games and 45 of their last 69.

Quick note from Basketbawful reader Benjamin: "Feel free to ridicule my beloved Craps mercilessly -- they deserve it -- but Chris Bosh did record the first Dantley I've ever noticed, with 35 points on eight field goals and 19-for-20 from the line." Indeed he did.

The Miami Heat: Dwyane Wade is playing so well that it's tempting to think that the Heat are better than they actually are. But even though they aren't, they should at least be good enough to eke out a road win against a team that was only 14-19 at home and was down an All-Star. But on Friday night, they were not, falling to the Nets because of dual off-the-bench blitzkriegs by Chris Douglas-Roberts (career-high 18 points) and Jarvis Hayes (18 points, 8-for-12). Said Wade: "We understand the position that we are in. Guys have to start playing with a little more urgency." And that position is: Not yet a lock to make the playoffs.

Jamario Moon: Maybe Moon is one of the guys Wade was talking about. He logged only 11 minutes, finishing with zero points (0-for-3) and a rebound. Oh, and two of those misses were blown dunk attempts that came within the first 90 seconds of the game. As an anonymous commenter put it: "Isn't this the same guy who participated in the dunk contest like a year ago? The same one who said that he knew how to put on a show cause he played with the Globe Trotters? Weird. I always thought the Globe Trotters finished their dunks."

The New York Knicks: Holy wow. It really doesn't get much more bawful than losing by 27 points at home to the worst team in basketball, does it? And mind you, the Kings came into the game 0-28 against the Eastern Conference. The loss was so humiliating that Mike D'Antoni broke into nervous, near-hysterical laughter after the game when somebody asked him about the team's playoff chances. And of his team's star-studded craptacular, D'Antoni said: "We can't make a shot, we don't have legs to get by people and we don't have legs to stop anybody. Just nobody has any physical presence."

The most damning quote, though, came from Sacramento's Kevin Martin: "We played together and we took advantage of their lack of effort." Reality check: When a player from a 15-win team casually mentions how his squad took advantage of another team's lack of effort...that's pretty sad.

Larry Hughes: The line: 3 points on 1-for-8 shooting. He is so much who we thought he was that I cannot for the life of me believe that he hasn't been on the Clippers yet. I promise you that one day he will be. Mark my words. Speaking of which...

The Los Angeles Clippers: All season long, Mike Dunleavy Sr. has bemoaned the many injuries that have plagued his team, which is fair enough, I guess. But check the box score and you'll notice that everybody is in attendance these days, but the results are stunningly the same. Maybe even worse. The Pistons -- minus Rip Hamilton (groin), Rasheed Wallace (calf), Rodney Stuckey (flu-like symptoms!) and Allen Iverson (back) -- demolished them in Detroit. Will Bynum scored a career-high 22 points and matched his career-best six assists. Antonio McDyess had 24 points and 17 rebounds. Tayshaun Prince added 23 points and a career-high 12 assists. Freaking Kwame Brown lit the Clips up for 14 points (5-for-6) in 27 minutes as the Pistons shot nearly 56 percent as a team and won by 18 after trailing by 12 in the first half. Said Dunleavy: "At one point when we had a 10-point lead we should have had a 20-point lead. Our bigs didn't control the paint like they should have and gave up too many easy buckets around the basket." He sure does love pointing fingers, doesn't he?

Tony Parker: By the numbers -- 25 points (12-for-23), 7 rebounds, 8 assists -- he was the Spurs' Player of the Game against the Celtics. But TP also missed four free throws in the final minute...of a three-point loss. Toss in a couple bonkaroos by Michael Finley and the Spurs missed their last six fouls shots in the final two and a half minutes.

Paul Pierce: Watch him get his atoms smashed by Bruce Bowen, then snag Bowen's shorts (at the 18-second mark). I probably wouldn't have noticed the shorts-grab if Basketbawful reader Plonden hadn't mentioned it. Oh, and thanks to the anonymous commenter who provided the link.


Rajon Rondo: Hey, Rajon. Nice defense. Taking tips from Mike D'Anonti or something?


The Minnesota Timberwolves: Their 19-point loss to the Rockets dropped them to 3-16 since Al Jefferson's season-ending knee injury.

The Washington Wizards Generals: I know it goes without saying that they lost, but check out this tidbit from the AP recap: "Last year, Carmelo Anthony had a career night against the Washington Wizards. This time, J.R. Smith and Chris Andersen took their turns. Smith scored a season-high 40 points, Andersen had a career-high 18 points to go along with 11 rebounds and six blocks and the Nuggets beat the Wizards 116-105 Friday night for their fifth straight win." Hey Washington, J.R. Smith and the Birdman called. They said "thanks" for being in their posters.

George Karl, quote machine: Regarding Smith's big game: "J.R. was pretty good. Pretty efficient. He was a nice horse." Wait...what was that last part again? Yes, he said it.

The Philadelphia 76ers: Uh, Philly, you know you're just a small handful of losses from missing out on the playoffs, right? 'Cause the effort in Oakland -- shooting 38 percent, letting the Warriors shoot almost 57 percent and missing 9 free throws -- was purty bawful.

The Warriors' rebounding: Golden State would have destroyed the Sixers if they'd been able to grab a rebound. As it was, Philly hauled down 25 offensive boards, which was scary close to the Warriors rebounding total of 37.

Kenny Smith: Got this email from Joe H: "Does Kenny Smith get a WotW mention for walking into George Wallace's hour and fifteen minute show 30 minutes late with his 'posse'? I was at the show last night at the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas. The venue probably seats around 200 people and is set up like an old school lounge. George was killing it when in comes Kenny, his wife, and his posse along with Toni Braxton, her sister and their 'people' -- about 15 people total. Being the VIPs that they are, they strolled through the middle of the room and plopped down right in front. Funny thing is that George pulled Toni Braxton up on the stage and had the audience cheer for her, but gave no shout out to the Jet at all. I was sitting about 12-15 feet away from him and thought it was him, but wasn't completely sure until the show ended and I took the opportunity to say hello. When he stood up he was definitely not the 6'3" he is listed as on Basketball-Reference.com. I'm 5'10" and he couldn't be more than 2 inches taller than me, if that." Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Kenny Smith has a posse?!

Friday lactivity report: Here's Chris's lacktion update, with some bonus material:

First off...an interesting note about the Kings-Knicks game, in which the Kings broke their season-long losing streak to the Eastern Conference.

Spencer Hawes was interviewed by Grant Napear afterwards and admitted that his performance against the Bobcats was the "worst of his career." I guess that means that his 7:2 Voskuhl that night really was an accurate measure of his ineffectiveness as a big man! Hey, GMs and basketball statgeeks, you listening!?

And on to the lacktion report:

Bobcats-Raptors: Juwan Howard's single giveaway and duo of turnovers provided him a +3 suck differential in 5:17 for the Bobcats, while Jake Voskuhl lives up to his name again with a Madsen-level Voskuhl of 2:1 (foul and giveaway against a singular board) in 3:08. Voskuhl was joined in the lacktivity department by fellow Craptor Jason Kapono, who bricked from downtown, gave up the rock once, and fouled twice for a +4 in 12:50.

Clippers-Pistons: Mike Dunleavy really wants to make the most of his copy of Duck Hunt, as he barked wildly at two lacktators. Alex Acker (35 seconds) and DeAndre Jordan (22 seconds with one board) provided the Clips with Nintendo love as Mario Brothers!

Likewise, the Wii is looking rather popular as the favorite half-birthday gift for residents of Grosse Pointe Shores, with Walter Sharpe cutting out a 35-second Mario for the Pistons (which somehow included one made field goal). The individual segments in WiiFit probably last longer than that!

Jazz-Thunder: Jarron Collins took one foul in 1:28 for a +2 that also nothced a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Grizzlies-Hornets: Hamed Haddadi had his way with on-court treasure, taking home a 1.3 trillion. On the other side of the court, New Orleans's Devin Brown bricked twice from beyond the arc for a +2 in 1:19. And Melvin Ely's one assist in 5:58 wasn't able to overcome a foul for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Celtics-Spurs: The blockbuster Patrick O'Bryant trade seems to have had the opposite effect for the defending champions, who have confidently dragged out their human victory cigars more often since the transaction. In a close conquest of the perennially contending Spurs, Doc Rivers paid homage to the original Final Fantasy by giving Bill Walkers a 6 second Super Mario to use up all of his health points.

Not to be outdone, Gregg Popovich inserted a Game Genie into his Americanized Famicom as "Jumping" Jacque Vaughn flashed on and off to the whims of the Reset button, scoring a 1-second Super Mario of his own!!!

Wizards-Nuggets: Jason Hart heaved a hopeless shot attempt from downtown for a +1 in 2:28.

The Atlanta Hawks: Oh how the Hawks fans wanted to rub that seven-game winning streak in my face. But it's like I said: They're a pretty impressive team...at home. But they're a shadow of that on the road and that's going to doom them in the playoffs. Trust me. As if to prove my point, Atlanta found themselves down 40-16 with 8:56 left in the second quarter against the Crabs on Saturday night. And as the game went on, so did the implosion: Coach Mike Woodson picked up technical fouls in the second and third periods and was ejected by official Joe Forte with 6:30 left in the third period. Mike Bibby and Josh Smith were also hit with technicals in the third period. Woodson compounded his mistake by refusing to speak with reporters after the game and forcing assistant coach Larry Drew to talk to the media. Bibby, meanwhile, was making noise about appealing the fine that goes along with a tech, and Al Horford was telling people (correctly) that they need to shut the hell up. "We shouldn't even be talking to the refs. We have to go out there and play. The Cavs are the best team in the league, so we need to go out and play. Until guys understand that, we're going to be going through this." Pretty much, yeah.

Note: After this game, the Hawks have four more in a row at home. (They had only five road games on their March schedule.) So look for them to win three or four of those games, after which I'm sure I'll be hearing more noise from the Atlanta faithful.

Mike Brown, unintentionally dirty quote machine: From Tom: "Not sure if this gem made it into the national media; I stumbled upon it on Cavs.com: 'We did a nice job contesting shots and, on our backside, protecting one another, sinking the bodies, feeling the bodies and not allowing them to get a ton of drives.'" This...quote wasn't about a group experience in a Mexican jail, was it?

The Charlotte Bobcats: A 25-point home loss to the Pacers? Really?! It's kind of hard to believe this is a team fighting to make the playoffs. No wonder their fans were booing them, particularly during the third quarter, when they shto 3-for-19. But it wasn't just lethargic offense. Jarrett Jack blasted them with 31 points -- 2 points off his career-high -- on nearly perfect 13-for-14 shooting. And mind you, he sat out most of the fourth quarter.

Raymond Felton: He was the poor lad victimized by Jack's scoring onslaught. But does he feel bad about how his defense pretty much cost his team the game? Of course not. "You can't guard nobody who shoots 13-for-14 from the field. He was hitting everything: threes, mid-range, get to the basket. It was tough. He had a great game tonight." Sigh.

The New York Knicks: They played better against the Magic in Orland than they did against the Kings at home, but the outcome was the same: A loss. Their fourth straight, which kind of jams a dagger in the heart of their playoff hopes. Said Nate Robinson: "We've got to go 13-0 if we want to win and make it to the playoffs. But anything is possible." Yeah. Anything except that.

Larry Hughes: According to the AP recap: "Larry Hughes left the game in the second quarter with a jammed left big toe but said it was not serious." Whew! Thank GOD it's not serious.

The Memphis Grizzlies: An 18-point home loss to the Celtics isn't so unbelievable. What is a little wacky is how it happened: Via a career-high 24 points on 8-of-11 shooting from Glen "Big Baby" Davis. I mean, Baby, he, he just, he owned the Grizzlies. Owned 'em. Think about that.

Darko Milicic: Welcome to Big Baby's poster, Darko.


You know what's really sad? I would absolutely and without hesitation want Davis on my team over Darko. Not even a question.

The Chicago Bulls: In my experience, when something seems like it's too good to be true, it usually is. Such was the 14-point halftime lead the Bulls had over the Lakers on Saturday night. The capper to Chicago's strong first half was this buzzer-beating three by John Salmons to end the second quarter. As soon as that shot went down, I thought to myself: "They Bulls CANNOT play any better than that in the second half." And it turned out that I was right.

Painfully so. Chicago developed a terminal case of butter fingers and committed turnover after turnover -- they finished with 23 -- and the Lakers took advantage, scoring 27 points off those miscues. L.A. had trimmed that 14-point lead to six (87-81) by the start of the fourth quarter and then the wheels came off completely. Joakim Noah got called for a three-second violation on Chicago's first possession. Less than a minute later, Sasha Vujacic stole a pass from Kirk Hinrich. A little over a minute after that, Lamar Odom intercepted Derrick Rose. Luke Walton stole Ben Gordon's pass on the Bulls' next possession. A little while later, Ben Gordon was called for traveling. Rose lost the ball (to Jordan Farmar) on the next possession. Then Brad Miller had a pass swiped by Odom.

The next thing you know, the Lakers had ripped off a 21-6 run to open the quarter…all while Kobe Bryant (28 points, a game-high 7 assists and a game-high 5 steals) was watching from the bench. And L.A. never looked back. Said Rose: “We were turning the ball over and when you do that in this league, anyone will beat you.” Especially when that “anyone” is (depending on whom you ask) the first or second-best team in the league.

Ben Gordon: Nobody on the Bulls was more careless with the ball than Gordon, who lost the rock seven times while shooting 5-for-14 and missing six of his eight three-point attempts. It's not really BG's fault, though. I stat cursed him at By the Horns on Friday. Sorry 'bout that, Ben.

The Milwaukee Bucks: Another team "fighting" for that eighth and final playoff spot in the East. Only, after their 96-84 home loss to the Trail Blazers -- which featured the Vanilla Godzilla chasing down Ramon Sessions and stuffing Ramon's fast break layup attempt -- Milwaukee has dropped 11 of 15. Worse yet, this was the final game of their season-high six-game home stand...and they finished two up and four down. They're only a game and a half behind the Bulls, but I'd say it's probably safe to stick a fork in them. (And if I end up stat cursing the Bulls by saying this, I promise to drink a full bottle of some industrial cleaning solution.)

The Washington Wizards Generals: Okay, so get this: The Suns put some defense clamps on the Generals in their 128-96 win. I am not kidding. Said Antawn Jamison: "They put a zone on us and we acted like we've never seen a zone before in our lives. Once we didn't play well against their zone, we let it affect the way we got back defensively." Huh. I guess that's why Phoenix shot 55 percent from the field and on three-pointers. Oh, and Basketbawful reader Timbo was kind enough to send in photographic evidence of Washington's _efense:

That's call "spectating," not "defending."
Shaq, quote machine: On passing Moses Malone to become the number five scorer in NBA history, 4,008 points behind Wilt Chamberlain: "It was good, but I'm still kind of disappointed in myself. Mathematically, I've missed three years worth of games and I missed 5,000 free throws. If I was there, I'd probably be No. 2 or No. 3 right now. It shows I've been consistent at what I've been doing and the next guy is my illegitimate father -- Wilt Chamberlain -- so just like in Star Wars, hopefully I can catch up to my father." The interesting thing is, if Wilt's number of sexual conquests is correct, he could very well be the Shaq daddy of the Shaq Daddy. Which brings up another point: With all the many kids by multiple baby mamas that have been produced by the likes of Calvin Murphy and Shawn Kemp, the fact that Wilt didn't accidentally produce dozens of little Wilts stands alongside the 100-point game and the 50 PPG season in his personal pantheon of great accomplishments. Memo to today's NBA players: If Wilt could wrap it, so can you.

But wait, there's more! Basketbawful reader Hellshocked noticed this quote...and a little more: "I'm not sure if you caught this quote by Shaq, but I humbly believe it to be Worst of the Weekend material. The article is dated March 21st and in it Shaq discusses how he could easily average 20-10 until he's 42 years old. Seeing how The Big Statistician is averaging 18 and 8.6 with great difficulty at the tender age of 37, I'd say even 10 and 5 is a stretch at 40."

And here is the quote of which Hellshocked speaks: "If I get one last deal then, yeah, [I could catch Wilt Chamberlain]. The way [head athletic trainer Aaron Nelson] has me feeling, I could average 20 and 10 until I'm 41 (or) 42. Easily." But he's not playing for the next contract or anything...

Steve Nash: Nothing bad, just a funny picture sent in by Basketbawful reader Janae. Hm. I bet I'd have already done a "Nash Face" post if the Suns would have actually won a title or two.

Saturday lactivity report: Chris had a hot date with Sally Lacktion, and let's just say she put out.

Hawks-Cavs: With Mario West mistakenly pressing "Select" to procure an unwanted board against the Crabs, fellow Atlantan Solomon Jones wisely took up the slack and pressed A and B together for an 8-second Super Mario!

Pacers-Hornets: Roy Hibbert had an assist and a block in 7:45 as a starter, but a five-brick performance capped with a rejection led to a 3:0 Voskuhl via fouls! He wasn't the only big man to blandly barge in tonight, as despite three assists, Indiana teammate Rasho Nesterovic earned a slight Voskuhl of 4:3 in 12:10 (three fouls and a giveaway against one made field goal and one rebound).

Lakers-Bulls: Shannon Brown has become Phil Jackson's favorite method of getting mentioned in Nintendo Power Magazine, with a 33 second Mario this time around! Aaron Gray also showed his appreciation for Tetris with a 50-second Mario of his own.

Blazers-Bucks: Charlie Bell of Milwaukee's M.A.S.H. Unit rang up two bricks and two blocks against for a +4 suck differential in 9:37!

But the big news from this matchup was the bewildering bench performance from the elder statesman of the Association, Greg Oden. The declining reflexes of advanced age no doubt contributed to four giveaways in 9:26; such clumsy hands along with five whole fouls against one made field goal and three rebounds led to one of the largest Voskuhl matrixes of the season, at 9:5!

Selective officiating: From Thom: "Please, please, PLEASE mention D-Wade's two 'blocks' at the end of ABC's Sunday Afternoon Pistons-Heat matchup. He hacked Afflalo on a three and absolutely raped Stuckey when he was driving to the basket. To top it off, he got free throws because he flopped on a jumper before those AND the ball went above the cylinder on Jermaine O'Neal's go-ahead put-back. That's a 9-POINT SWING. To top it off, they show the replay on the Stuckey drive and Breen mentions the amount of contact on the play, and Van Gundy just goes 'That's NBA basketball.' That tool bag complained about every foul the Pistons got. God, I hate watching the 'stons when they're on national tvl. I'm absolutely livid." Seriously, Pookie would have had to poke Stuckey in the eye to foul him any more than he did.


Of course, Wade didn't see it that way: "I told Stuckey on the way out of the timeout that I knew they were to do that—I know his tendencies. I stayed solid and didn’t get into his shot fakes, so I was able to get the block." Yeah, okay. I'll tell you one guy who felt there was contact: Pistons coach Michael Curry, who flipped out enough to get ejected. "We wanted Stuck to attack the basket, and that's what he did. I thought he was fouled on the play, and that's what I was complaining about." It was a fair complaint.

The San Antonio Spurs: Tony Parker didn't miss four free throws down the stretch, but the Spurs still lost their second straight loss at home and their third in four games overall. And the defeat was extra crippling as the Rockets took over the division lead as well as second place in the Western Conference. To twist the knife a little, the guy who really killed them was Luis Scola, who nearly had an Animal Style Double-Double (19 points and 17 rebounds) and scored 5 points -- including the go-ahead bucket -- in the final 30 seconds. Scola, you may remember, was the guy San Antonio pretty much gave away to save a little cash.

Luis Scola: Yeah, I know. He was Houston's POG and all that, but, as our good friend The Belgium Waffle noted in an email: "He was beaten by Matt Boner [sic] OFF THE DRIBBLE." That really shouldn't have happened unless Luis was asleep or had two broken legs.

The Fabulous Oberto: You know Chris is going to cover this in the lacktion report, but Tom of The Dream Shake wrote in to say: "Quick note: Fab Oberto got literally one second of playing time today, and put a trillion across the board. How awesome would it have been, though, if he had managed to have one of any statistic during that time frame?" It would have been totally awesome, because then John Hollinger might have had to explain why Fabby's PER jumped after a one-second stint.

Tracy McGrady: From the AP recap: "The Rockets have made their surge without McGrady, who had season-ending surgery on his left knee nearly a month ago. Since McGrady's last game on Feb. 9 -- when the Rockets were 4 1/2 games back of San Antonio -- Houston has won 16 of 20 and now trails only the Lakers in the West." All I can say is that if the Rockets make it out of the first round without Knee-Mac, it'll be sweet retribution for the way he jerked them around this season.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: Remember how I mentioned the 'Wolves were 3-16 since Al Jefferson was lost for the season? Make it 3-17 after their 97-90 home loss to the Thunder. And that final score is deceiving. Minny trailed by as many as 32 points and had to outscore the Thunder 37-13 in the fourth quarter to make it close. After the game, Kevin McHale called his team's effort "unacceptable." Added McHale: "I can give you 50 excuses. I can give you all kinds of stuff, but the bottom line is you've got to go out there and play."

The Los Angeles Clippers: From the AP recap: "The Raptors had lost nine of 10 coming in but had little difficulty handling the Clippers, leading by as many as 28 in a runaway fourth quarter. Toronto collected a season-high 57 rebounds while Los Angeles had only 34." Can the Clippers apply for federal disaster relief? They need it. They also need to fire coach Mike Dunleavy, who said: "I'm disappointed, I thought we got outworked. We shot 38 percent from the field and we got two offensive rebounds. That, to me, says we didn't battle well enough in the paint. Other than Zach Randolph, our starters couldn't really make shots." Forget those AIG bonuses, can't congress do something about Dunleavy? Amazingly, the Clips are only considering relieving him of GM duties.

CBS Sports headlines: From Cam: "I just want to bring your attention to this CBS Sports Headline: 'Bosh puts up double-double; Raptors continue to surge.' This 'surge' includes one win in a row against the Clippers after losing 8 of 9 coming into it." Yeah, but to be fair that really IS a surge for the Craptors. It's all relative, you know?

The Golden State Warriors: It was the best of times, it was worst of times. On Friday, the Warriors shot a season-best 56.5 percent against the Sixers. On Sunday, they shot 30 percent in the first half and 39 for the game. The Hornets went up by as many as 23 in the third quarter and were up by double-digits for most of the fourth before Golden State pulled off one of those classic "let's make it look like the game was closer than it really was" runs in the last couple minutes. Said Stephen Jackson: "We waited to play too late. You can't wait and play too late against a good team like that. They kept us out of the game." That's veteran savvy right there.

The Sacramento Kings: With the East Coast Monkey finally off their back thanks to that Friday night win over the Knicks in New York, the Kings reverted to form at home against the Sixers, falling behind 35-17 in the first quarter. They made a run of sorts in the fourth but never got any closer than 11. As a result, Sacramento finished the season 1-29 against the Eastern Conference. The Clippers had the previous worst interconference record at 1-21 in 1986-87. Yes, that's right: The Kings outsucked the Clippers in an All-Time category. HISTORICAL FAIL. Said Jason Thompson: "I don't think because we finally won a game against the East that we got comfortable. I just don't think we had that same edge and energy that we had on the road." That makes no sense. But whatever. By the way, Philly shot nearly 60 percent from the field. Hand in the face anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Mickey Perry, unintentionally dirty quote machine: I got this email from Yiping, a faithful reader from Singapore: "I know Basketbawful is an NBA blog, but you have highlighted some March Madness stuff in the past couple of days. I think this is the best one-liner unintentional dirty quote that I've ever read so far. This one's from this CNNSI.com article from the Kansas-Dayton game. The quote is from Mickey Perry of Dayton, talking about Cole Aldrich and his triple-double: 'He's just so big down there.' First thing that came to my mind was: I have to email this to Basketbawful. I hope you enjoyed this one-liner as much as I did." Yes, yes, I did.

Dwyane Wade's "Irish": Received this nomination from Ishlifyhead from Manila: "This article from Ira Winderman just reeks of all kinds of dirty. It's a bit late but still worth a read. From the title 'Wade doesn't get his Irish up' to 'guard Daequan Cook returning after missing two games following oral surgery, Cook took a blow to the left side of his face at the end of Tuesday's practice from forward James Jones that again put his availability in question. Cook ended the session with an ice pack wrapped about his left cheek.' I'll leave it up to you to further comment. I'm still pretty shocked and speechless about how the Heat hold their practice. I don't know who to nominate. Should it be Winderman for the title? Wade for not getting his Irish up? Cook for having oral surgery and taking the blow? Or Jones for giving the blow? Screw it. Maybe you can nominate all of them." I'll go with Wade. If he wants to be MVP, he's GOT to do something about his Irish.

Sunday lacktivity report: Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory. Stare at Chris's lacktion report instead.

Heat-Pistons: James Jones generically bricked from downtown for a +1 suck differential in 11:22, while teammate Jamaal Magloire negated a steal and block in 12:14 with a 3:0 Voskuhl via fouls and two bricks from the charity stripe!

Rockets-Spurs: Glen Hill climbed onto a foul and two bricks in 6:36 for a +3. But in a weekend of celebrating the greatest gray plastic electronic box to ever come from Japan, fellow San Antonio resident Fabricio Oberto may have topped the cake with a Pokemon Gold cartridge, as he expensively secured a 1-second SUPER MARIO!

Thunder-Wolves: Damien Wilkins may share the same first initial and last name as the more famous Dominique, but his elite skills come in the financial arena and not the contributory aspect of basketball, as evidenced by today's payout of 1.9 trillion.

Warriors-Hornets: Rob Kurz cued up a 2.7 trillion for Team Nellieball.

Sixers-Kings: Theo Ratliff's fame for his expiring contract reflects his fiscal aptitude, and tonight was no exception for this human victory cigar's reputation with a 2.45 trillion given to Philadelphia. Meanwhile, Calvin Booth phoned in a 1.05 trillion.

Labels: Worst of the Weekend