DeSagana Diop: The Man The Mavericks Should Not Have Given Up had yet another sucksational game last night: Zero points (0-for-0), 3 rebounds, 1 blocked shot, and 5 fouls in 9 minutes of lack-tion. For the record, those are Greg Kite-like numbers.

Vince Carter: Half-Man, Half-I-Hate-Physical-Contact led the Nets with 26 points, but it took him 23 shots to get there. And according to the shot chart, 18 of those attempts were jumpers...seven of which were catapulted from at least 27 feet out. I'll give him a mulligan on the 42-footer he launched at the end of the second quarter, but that doesn't change the fact that he's not even trying to take it to the rim anymore.

Sacramento Kings: Well, it had to happen at some point. Some unlucky team was going to hand the Miami Heat their 10th win of the season, and that unlucky team was the Kings. And they did it in truly craptacular fashion, scoring 11 points in the third quarter on 2-for-20 shooting en route to a 21-point blowout.

Ron Artest: If you haven't already read about Ron Artest's soon-to-be-famous "They were trying to get government cheese, and I'm Kraft" quote, you have now. Now that Mike Bibby is out of the picture, Artest finally has the chance to be the Big Cheese in Sacramento. But last night, he was just the Big Cheez Whiz, shooting 3-for-14 and getting lit up on defense.

Pat Riley: I know it's been a long time between wins, but that doesn't really explain the following post-game quote from Riles: "I feel like a mosquito in a nudist colony. I know what to do. I just don’t know where to start." And I feel like a dog in a backyard trying to decide whether or not to eat my own poop.

The Cleveland Cavaliers' end-of-game defense: LeBron James hit a layup with 5.9 seconds left, after which the Bucks inbounded to Michael Redd, who drove unmolested down the length of the court before hitting the game-winning shot at the buzzer over the outstretched hands of Wally Szczerbiak. Said LeBron: "There's nothing you can do about that. The guy made a 35-footer fading away." Well, first of all, it was a 27-footer, and second of all...nothing you can do about it?! There were less than 6 seconds left in the game. They knew Redd would have to take the ball at least 70 feet and take a quick shot, so why not double-team him or use a full-court press to get the ball out of his hands. Why give the opposing team's best player a chance to win the game?

Wally Szczerbiak: Not only did he get immortalized in Redd's poster, Wally World shot 5-for-18 from the field. You know, when the Cavs acquired him to fill Larry Hughes shooter/scorer role, they didn't intend for him to actually shoot like Larry Hughes. How's that PER comparison looking now, Mr. Hollinger?

Yi Jianlian: Haven't heard Yi's name in the highlights lately? There's a reason for that. He sucks. Last night Yao's heir scored 2 points (0-for-1) in 15 minutes of off-the-bench lack-tion. Kwame Brown and Andrea Bargnani had better look out...Yi is starting to eye the "Worst Draft Pick Ever" crown.

ESPN's NBA Playlist: Can you find Waldo in ESPN's playlist of videos from last night's NBA action? Here, let me help you...


Raja Bell: On a night in which his team shot almost 60 percent from the field, Raja missed all his two-point field goal attempts and hit only 3-for-12 overall. Didn't Shaq say he was going to make Raja the best shooter in the league? He's only 8-for-29 in the four games he's played with the Big Cactus.

Kwame Brown: From starting center to DNP-CD in just one game.

Marc Iavaroni: After his Grizzlies got caught in the Suns' bear trap, the former Phoenix assistant said: "I think they were just trying to outscore us." There's some crack analysis, huh? First off, it's the Phoenix Suns. Secondly, isn't the goal of every basketball game to outscore your opponents? Just checking, but I'm pretty sure that's the case.

Utah Jazz: There is no excuse whatsoever for a Western Conference playoff contender and division leader to lose to the Minnesota Timberwolves. For today, I am ashamed to be a Jazz fan.

Antoine Walker: You'll notice he hasn't been on the Minnesota roster for a few games. That's because Fatoine wants the T-Wolves to buy him out so he can go get more playing time for a contender. You might be tempted to think that last sentence was the result of all the glue I sniffed this morning, but I promise you that it's the God's honest truth.

Fickle Fate: Yao Ming, injured again, this time with a stress fracture in his left foot. It's not easy being a giant, it just isn't. And it looks like Yao may require surgery to implant a couple screws in his foot to hold the bones together. I'm guessing that wouldn't do a lot to improve his already limited mobility. I can't tell you how much Yao's injury saddens and disappoints me.

The Washington Wizards: The Wiz scored a franchise-low 23 points in the first half, shot 31 percent for the game, and received a 94-69 spanking from the now Yao-less Rockets. Remember all those "They're playing so well without Gilbert Arenas" stories? Man, that seems like a long time ago.

DeShawn Stevenson: The Locksmith followed up his first-ever game-winning shot with an ugly 5-point, 2-for-12 performance. I guess he celebrated a little too hard the night before.

Dikembe Mutombo: The ancient center had this to say after starting in place of the injured Yao: "I believe I set the tempo early and everybody just followed." Now, don't get me wrong, because Mount Mutombo played pretty well for an old guy. But well past the point of setting tempo, unless it's for a funeral march. Edit: Oops. I was wrong. He really did set the tempo.

Seattle SuperSonics: It's not so much that they lost -- I stopped expecting anything out of the Sonics months ago -- it's that they let Austin Croshere beat them (14 points, 6-for-6 shooting, all in the second half). You can never trust a team that gets beaten by Austin Croshere.

Al Harrington: He scored 5 points on 2-for-9 shooting last night. That's not his worst game of the season, but it is a reminder that the Harrington-for-Dunleavy Jr. swap has -- so far -- been a bigger benefit for the Pacers than the Warriors. And that's bad.

Kelenna Azubuike: This second-year man out of London, England was last night's one trillion award winner. Congratulations, Kelenna!

Derek Fisher: Fish was a big part of the Lakers' resurgence earlier this season, but he's been The Forgotten Man in L.A.'s offense since the Pau Gasol trade. And last night's 2-point performance was the first game this season he failed to hit a single field goal (0-for-4).

Labels: Antoine Walker, Cleveland Cavaliers, DeSagana Diop, Dikembe Mutombo, Pat Riley, Ron Artest, Sacramento Kings, Seattle Supersonics, Utah Jazz, Vince Carter, Wally Szczerbiak, Washington Wizards