So, I decided to celebrate the opening weekend of the NBA playoffs by... getting sick. Yay me! Excuse me for a second. (Violent coughin fit) Don't worry, I'm not contagious. However, I am feeling worn down, so I'll try to keep it brief today.
Quick basebawful link: you really ought to read this fantastic piece by SI's Joe Posnanski that breaks down Tony La Russa's mind-boggling overmanagement in the Cardinals' epic 20-inning loss to the Mets this weekend. Sometimes the articles just write themselves.
Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
"Cup check!" "But it's basketball! I'm not wearing -- AAAAH!!!!"
Eight people were taken out by Varejao, and five more by his hair
This is the first proof in fifteen months that Derek Fisher actually is alive
"Damn, this game is boring. I wonder what's for dinner... any ideas Jameer?"
"I dunno, Coach!"
All The Games: (All times Eastern) Bulls at Crabs - TNT, 8:00pm Crabs lead series 1-0
I have to say I'm a bit surprised, but Shaq -- as old and slow and insane as he is now compared to his glory years -- had a significant impact on Game 1. His physical play got Joakim Noah in foul trouble, and he bloodied Brad Miller's lip while frustrating and annoying both guys. In related news, the Bulls were out-rebounded 50-38 and let the Crabs pull down 13 offensive boards. Just imagine what would have gone down if The Big Icy Hot Patch Mummy could move faster than a 105 year old woman using a walker.
Oh, and speaking of Joakim Noah... When asked when asked how he might spend the remainder of a chilly, cloudy day downtown after their first game loss, he said: "I don't know about Cleveland, man, there's nothing going on. It's bad." Come on, Joakim. That's not true. There's plenty to do!
(I would also embed the second Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video, but the authors disabled embedding, so just click here)
Jazz at Nuggets - TNT, 10:30pm Nuggets lead series 1-0
At first I thought Utah could give Denver a good fight and make this an exciting series. Then Mehmet Okur's Achilles' tendon decided to tear like a piece of perforated notebook paper. That means the Jazz will have to give meaningful minutes to lacktion report regulars Kosta Koufos and Kyrylo Fesenko. Good God.
What a huge coup! Pumaman is now relegated to being, well, Pumaman.
I've seen this movie before.
Fucking basketbawesome, he may have just become my favorite player from the class of 2003. Some Jazz fans are losing their shit
Did I just actually hear the booth praise Mike Brown for "making adjustments?" Isn't that praise supposed to go to Coach/His Royal Crustacean Highness LeBron himself?
actual Carmel commercial
Melo, the common demonimator of our hearts.
From the ESPN game preview for tomorrow. "Biorhythms"
That's called "playing the Jazz." They want to draw as many fouls as they can by playing a physical game and then flopping when you try to match their physicality.