So, I decided to celebrate the opening weekend of the NBA playoffs by... getting sick. Yay me! Excuse me for a second.
(Violent coughin fit)
Don't worry, I'm not contagious. However, I am feeling worn down, so I'll try to keep it brief today.

Quick basebawful link: you really ought to read this fantastic piece by SI's Joe Posnanski that breaks down Tony La Russa's mind-boggling overmanagement in the Cardinals' epic 20-inning loss to the Mets this weekend. Sometimes the articles just write themselves.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

"Cup check!"
"But it's basketball! I'm not wearing -- AAAAH!!!!"

Eight people were taken out by Varejao, and five more by his hair

Well, I guess this is a better way to stop a nosebleed than what Beavis and Butt-head tried

This is the first proof in fifteen months that Derek Fisher actually is alive

"Damn, this game is boring. I wonder what's for dinner... any ideas Jameer?"

"I dunno, Coach!"

All The Games: (All times Eastern)
Bulls at Crabs - TNT, 8:00pm
Crabs lead series 1-0

I have to say I'm a bit surprised, but Shaq -- as old and slow and insane as he is now compared to his glory years -- had a significant impact on Game 1. His physical play got Joakim Noah in foul trouble, and he bloodied Brad Miller's lip while frustrating and annoying both guys. In related news, the Bulls were out-rebounded 50-38 and let the Crabs pull down 13 offensive boards. Just imagine what would have gone down if The Big Icy Hot Patch Mummy could move faster than a 105 year old woman using a walker.

Oh, and speaking of Joakim Noah... When asked when asked how he might spend the remainder of a chilly, cloudy day downtown after their first game loss, he said: "I don't know about Cleveland, man, there's nothing going on. It's bad." Come on, Joakim. That's not true. There's plenty to do!

(I would also embed the second Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video, but the authors disabled embedding, so just click here)

Jazz at Nuggets - TNT, 10:30pm
Nuggets lead series 1-0

At first I thought Utah could give Denver a good fight and make this an exciting series. Then Mehmet Okur's Achilles' tendon decided to tear like a piece of perforated notebook paper. That means the Jazz will have to give meaningful minutes to lacktion report regulars Kosta Koufos and Kyrylo Fesenko. Good God.

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Blogger Ash said...
Shaq is officially the REAL Superman!


What a huge coup! Pumaman is now relegated to being, well, Pumaman.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Suns in a tight playoff game, Nash hits a ridiculous pull up 3, Amare can't defend, Nash turns it over, Amare drops a pass that practically bounces off his chest, then he discovers he can't dribble or post up and gets it swiped again.

I've seen this movie before.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
DAN B: QUICKLY EDIT THE POST! The Carmelo Anthony troll video that aired over the weekend has been found!

Fucking basketbawesome, he may have just become my favorite player from the class of 2003. Some Jazz fans are losing their shit

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Also, I could watch those Cleveland videos all day.

Blogger chris said...
Speaking of the Crabs...

Did I just actually hear the booth praise Mike Brown for "making adjustments?" Isn't that praise supposed to go to Coach/His Royal Crustacean Highness LeBron himself?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
ahahaha, okay my bad, I linked the wrong thing

actual Carmel commercial

Blogger chris said...
AnacondaHL: I demand that that Melo video shows up on the next Bawful post. Stat.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I'm waiting on a HQ version of it, but it'll do for now. I'm still investigating whether Carmelo actually had a hand in making it, or if it was just a hilarious fan that bought a commercial spot, or what. There's a little disclaimer in there that says "Sponsered by Jordan". And also a big fail to my wireless keyboard for selectively not registering keys!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Just 30 seconds ago they played the commercial. God I really need to learn how to rip video/gifs off Windows Media Center.

Melo, the common demonimator of our hearts.

Blogger JHaas said...
All I have to say is: "I'm Italian, I like macaroni," Del Negro said. "I'm hoping I can get a few boxes after the game. I love pasta."

Blogger Unknown said...
"You can never predict. I mean, I thought we played hard. I just thought we didn't quite have that spark that we needed," he said. "I don't know -- biorhythms." -Steve Nash
From the ESPN game preview for tomorrow. "Biorhythms"

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Every Nugget starter with at least 5 fouls. At home.


Anonymous Anonymous said...
@7:02 Anonymous:

That's called "playing the Jazz." They want to draw as many fouls as they can by playing a physical game and then flopping when you try to match their physicality.