Man Love, Digital Style
Vinsanity involved in virtual man love? Shock!

It's a very special President's Day edition of the NBA 2K10 My Player Diary! Before we get going, you need to watch this quick, erm, history lesson on George Washington. (Warning -- Audio is NSFW)

Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's get into my virtual basketball career. Because it's sure as hell more exciting than the Dunk Contest was, and slightly less bawful than the airball display known as the Celebrity Game, or that final inbounds play the Western All-Stars attempted.

Random Pics and Video:

Assorted lowlights and highlights from this stretch of games
(Includes a blocked dunk and TWO shots clanked off the side of the backboard!)

Van Gundy rocking a clip-on tie
Van Gundy wearing a tie? What the hell??

Back to looking like an unmade bed
Okay, that's better.

Game Log:

Hawks 80 at Magic 103
My line: 49 points, 4 rebounds, 7 assists, 4 steals, 4 turnovers
Summary: This was a fairly uneventful home game. We basically led the entire game, and aside from me being a turnover machine thanks to a couple of passes just plain slipping out of my hands (my player isn't good at passing while in the air yet...), not much happened. Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal managed to get called for offensive 3 seconds near the end of the 1st quarter AND at the beginning of the 2nd quarter. Also, in the 3rd quarter, I broke loose for a short jumper, maybe 8 feet. It caught iron and bounced out, but Stan Van Gundy was happy with my shot selection. Clark Kellogg in the booth, however, berated me and said: "That was an ill-advised shot, no question about it." I am so conflicted.

Celtics 109 at Magic 106
My line: 51 points, 2 rebounds, 10 assists, 8 steals
Summary: Oh man, this is an example of what annoys me about NBA 2K10. Sometimes, like the Madden series, this game just goes into what Bill Simmons calls "Eff You" mode. It just decided it did not want me winning this game. My teammates' interior defense was even more non-existent than usual. Rajon Rondo unleashed 21 assists on me. Rashard Lewis shot 3-for-10, and Vince Carter shot 1-for-10. And I couldn't even stop Vinsanity -- he did almost all of that shooting when I was on the bench. I went to the bench in the 2nd quarter with us down 5, and came back just two minutes later down 38-24! I began risking fouls late and hassled Rondo into turnovers late to rally back, but it was just not meant to be.

Magic 111 at Jazz 91
My line: 44 points, 5 rebounds, 9 assists, 3 steals, 5 turnovers
Summary: My five turnovers is a little deceptive. One was lost because Dwight Howard turned his back on me after I threw the ball in his direction. One was the result of a charge. And the best one? I missed a layup and, thanks to uncalled contact, I fell to the floor and had trouble standing back up. I got called for an offensive 3 second violation for lying on the ground in the paint! Oh, and Stan Van Gundy decided to sit me in garbage time before I could get my 10th assist for the double-double. Thanks a bunch, Coach. I want to stat pad for a better contract! Also noteworthy: Eric Maynor put up a 0-for-3 shooting performance and lost 2 turnovers in 4 minutes. Fail.

Magic 109 at Timberwolves 105
My line: 49 points, 5 rebounds, 10 assists, 5 steals, 2 blocks, 2 turnovers
Summary: Deceptive final score -- we dominated the Timberpoops all game, but I sat for a long, long while in garbage time and the T-Wolves starters owned our human victory cigars to make the margin of victory smaller.

Magic 106 at Lakers 107
My line: 53 points, 3 rebounds, 8 assists, 6 steals, 1 block, 5 turnovers
Summary: Larry Hughes sighting! He somehow landed on the Lakers in my game. Like the game against the Celtics, this was another Eff You game. My bench let me down. My teammates let me down both when I was on the floor (turned their backs on my passes, bumbled passes, no defense) and when I was off the floor they just plain sucked. I wanted to pull a Sprewell and strangle them. I went to the bench down by two points late in the game, and came back just a few seconds later down 95-88! I managed to pull off two clutch steals on back-to-back possessions to make it close, but Rashard Lewis missed the game winner. I was double-teamed at the perimeter, and he was my only open shooter, and he barely hit the side of the rim. Just awful.

Magic 112 at Clippers 92
My line: 36 points, 1 rebound, 9 assists, 11 steals
Summary: Wow. This game was painful. I was hoping to drop like 75 points or something in a revenge game, but I COULD NOT buy a bucket (I blew wide open layups, etc.). I had to settle instead for setting an Orlando franchise record with 11 steals. Baron Davis, consider yourself my bitch. (I even forced him into an over-and-back violation in the first quarter, which does not count as a steal, but is still a forced turnover) Most of these steals were just the result of cutting off passing lanes rather than poking the ball loose. Yeah, that's Clippers basketball for you.

Spurs 106 at Magic 103
My line: 40 points, 2 rebounds, 8 assists, 5 steals, 3 blocks
Summary: Vanilla Godzilla! Yes, Joel Pryzbilla ended up in San Antonio once I left town. So disappointed I didn't get to play along side the Vanilla Godzilla. :( But anyhow, this game was also sad. My teammates decided to not show up again, and the game totally was in Eff You mode from the start. Dwight Howard and his bawful hands bumbled so many easy passes under the basket when he was just jogging along the baseline. In a sad but funny bawful moment, I stole the ball right by the halfcourt line, and while gaining control of it... I got called for a backcourt violation. Vinsanity decided to play his trademark defensive style... and fouled jump shooters on consecutive possessions, and then he also turned the ball over on a charging call at the start of the 3rd quarter. Meanwhile, I could not hit a shot the entire second quarter. I missed six or seven consecutive layups. They weren't blocked, I just flat missed them. However, my teammates couldn't hit shots either, so I was forced to try and get something going. I shut down Tony Parker and got three blocks against him that helped turn around our momentum, and I started hitting shots late (I still only shot 48% for the game when I normally average over 60%), but it was too late. We closed it to the 104-103 score and got a defensive stop and timeout with 7 seconds left in the game, leaving us with a chance to win. However, we wasted that chance when Jameer Nelson got a 5 second call! He couldn't inbound the ball even though I was WIDE OPEN. I died a little inside.

Grizzlies 102 at Magic 117
My line: 44 points 1 rebound, 9 assists, 8 steals
Summary: I didn't write any notes on this game for some reason, so I guess it wasn't very eventful. The most noteworthy occurance? I clanked a shot off the side of the backboard on a baseline jumper. Later in the game, OJ Mayo did the same exact thing.

Latest Transactions:
We traded Corey Brewer straight up for Luis Scola. Also, the rumor mill says Jameer Nelson might be traded soon. He's not very happy, and several teams are looking at him.

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Blogger Xscape said...
that benching part is just awful. once i scored 48pts in the first half (also 3 assists and our score was 54), i was hoping to beat that 75 pts milestone, but i started third quarter on the bench, and i often got benched whenever i enter the game so i finished with 71... damn. btw im playin with a pf in new jersey with 8min quarters, and we own the leauge.;)

Anonymous winnetou said...
Impressive numbers. I get the feeling I'm doing something wrong. Playing an all-around PG now with the Mavs; averaging 20 ppg, 13 apg, I'm usually not even the top scorer, but a frequent player of the game selection. At least the team record looks good and I'm doing well in the all-star/mvp votings.
Regarding benching, the worst part for me are the dozens of out-in swaps in the 4th quarter, usually at every dead ball.
By the way, what made you all pick your jersey numbers? (#42 in memory of Douglas Adams here)

Blogger Jason D said...
Dan B,

I know what you mean with the game going into Eff You mode, bloody annoying as well. I play as a PG for the Lakers (took over from Fisher after 4 games, ha) and whenever I play against the good teams in the league (we're tied 3rd out West, Jazz and Blazers are ahead of us. Out East, Bobcats and Pacers are on top...) Kobe shoots the ball whenever he touches it AND takes over PG duties, with the inbounding player always passing to him!! I think he's just pissed that he's not the leading scorer anymore though lol. Not to mention it seems like my teammates completely ignore me on some plays as well.

Also, do you know the best way to upgrade your player? I've noticed that upgrading his mental skills seems to raise his overall rating ridunkulously quickly but offensively it takes forever.


The Nets own your league?! What kind of Bizzaro world are you from?

Blogger Aaron said...
Is anyone else having weird stuff happen like the New York Knicks leading the Eastern Conference and being one of the best teams in the league?

Blogger ponderguy said...
Loved it. How many games into the season are you?

Blogger Dan B. said...
winnetou -- Be a bastard. You have to ball-hog if you want to get ridiculous stats. I mean, it's not real life. There aren't any real repercussions for pissing off your teammates since they're just AI. I usually take 30-35 shots per game. As for my number, I got assigned #95 when I was on a team in an online league for a racing game back in about 1998 or so, and I just stuck with it in everything I've played since then.

Jason D -- Yeah, my teammates are very prone to ignoring me. That's why I chose to be a point guard. It's the only way to make sure I actually get a lot of touches on offense.

Aaron -- The standings were halfway normal in my first season. However, in this season, they're all out of whack. The Lakers and Celtics are both scrapping just to be in playoff contention while the usual bottomfeeders are up front.

Amandus -- I don't know exactly how many games, but it's the week before Christmas in this virtual season.

Anonymous darkcoupon said...
I think this game is in permanent Eff you mode...I'm playing as a defensive C for the Jazz averaging 18pts 12rebs 4asts 2stls 4blks in 8 minute quarters. Every time I'm benched, usually for 2-5 minutes at a time, the score goes from +10 to -20. Could be the fact that Kosta Koufos and Chris Mihm are my backups, but how does any team get a -30 in 5 minutes? I don't think the Nyets are even capable of that. Not to mention the fact that virtual Carlos Boozer and Paul Millsap both think they're 3 point shooters and jack shots up every time they're open behind the line.

Aaron - In my game OKC won the western conference and the Lakers were a lottery team in the 09-10 season.

Blogger Unknown said...
Good read, as usual.

That whole "get a steal around midcourt and get called for over-and-back" bit has happened a few times to me, but I suppose I've never found it that annoying. I think it's because I haven't gotten used to the idea of possession yet. If Virtual Dick Bavetta called a backcourt on me after I'd gotten the swipe and was going up for a layup...then the rage would ensue.

I'm stuck with 2K9 for the time being, so I've yet to enjoy the career mode in 2K10. Can you call for passes? That might save you from another Jameer Nelson meltdown -- I usually have player lock on for my center, and after getting tired of watching five-second violations, I'd start calling for inbounds plays and setting up the offense myself, as a 6'10" big. Might help, if the game will let you.

Blogger Dan B. said...
darkcoupon -- Your backups are Kosta Koufos (he who got a DNP-Coach's Decision in our Null-Star game!) and Chris Mihm??? Jesus.

Also, isn't there a bug with the second patch for the console versions that causes people to jack up inappropriate treys? Is that maybe why you're seeing that problem from Boozer and Millsap?

Chris -- Yes, you can call for a pass in My Player mode. However, your teammate doesn't necessarily have to listen to you! You sometimes get stuck in the "call for pass" animation for a few seconds, which isn't good when you need to jump or something. Also, if you aren't open, etc., you can get yelled at for "bad call for pass" and your teammate grade goes down, or if you call for a pass too many times in a row, you get nailed for "excessive call for pass." But yeah, that's why I got fucked on that five second call -- even though I was wide open and calling for the pass, Jameer Nelson just sat there and daydreamed about what team he might be able to get traded to. I hope he DOES get traded I can hard-foul him or just dunk on his ass sometime.

Anonymous darkcoupon said...
Dan - Scary isn't it? Chris Mihm somehow made the team in training camp, along with Melvin Ely and Maceo Baston. The virtual Jazz GM then cut CJ Miles, and traded Ronnie Brewer for Danilo Gallinari who was then packaged along with Kyle Korver in a blockbuster trade for T.J. Ford. No surprise we ended the season 42-40

That bug could explain it, I'm playing on a 360 and noticed that my matchups will jack up treys when left open behind the line as well.

Anonymous OneZero said...
I played for the Magic too, but no Nelson on my team

instead, I have Ariza,Brewer,Webster as my bench.
plus Vinsanity, D12 as the starter, so yeah..a lot lot of alley oops there..

as a PG, my #1 tip to you all is to INCREASE MID RANGE SHOOT. my player is really2 damn good now, I can hit mid range(83),3pt shot(99),Layup(95),dunk(80)

yes, even with a mid range of 83, its good enough, as long as it is an open look. I even dont bother increasing it. so thats number 1

oh and Im on january 2011, 2nd season, 1# mvp candidate. my Magic record is about 30ish-1 (one loss because I was slacking against Cavs IN their home court)

so yeah, doing well, im like an enchanced CP3 with a superb 3pt shot, and just added dunk to my arsenal

the game does go to EF mode sometimes but I didnt save load games at all, and so far only one losses and the rest are mostly blowouts.
I dont know about you Dan, it's just too easy playing with the Magic, that I even consider changing team just for the challenge.

I manage to beat elite teams quite easily, and I LOVE playing against RONDO, hahahahahaha.....

average: 33 pts(1st in league), 11.5 ast(1st in league), 61% FG,45% 3pt fg, in 8 minute quarters

Blogger Xscape said...
Jason D,

actually its my second season and im 90 overall player. also we got Rudy Gay from free agency before the start of the season. moreover, devin harris' ratings are too exaggerated and brook "cryin pose" lopez is a pretty effective center.

well, but you are right anyway, cause this team became champions in my first season too, that was really weird.))

btw im not a nyets fan "thanks God"), just have chosen it cause they had a really weak pf spot.

Blogger Dan B. said...
OneZero -- I actually did better when I was playing for the Clippers prior to getting traded early in this season! I have trouble on the Magic because my backups are awful, Dwight Howard can't catch a fucking pass and just shuts down and turns the ball over whenever he gets double teamed, and Vinsanity makes me want to heave a brick through my TV. So basically I have to do everything myself on offense. And did we cover yet the fact that the Pumaman is an awful defender and his blocked shots almost always result in open jumpers when the AI recover the ball? Ugh. I hate this team. BTW, good call on the midrange jumper. Mine's in the low 80s, and yeah, when I'm open, it's pretty much automatic. If I miss a couple, I just need to score a few easy buckets in the paint to get back on a scoring streak, and then I can start nailing jumpers again. (I CANNOT understate how important it is to get your Consistency to 99 as soon as you can. I'm only a 76 overall at this point because of the stupid no-drills-during-the-season bug on the PC, but I'm an almost unstoppable scoring machine once I make a couple of buckets because of that consistency letting me get on hot streaks really easily)

And I also love playing against Rondo -- you can play off him because you know he won't put up treys, and he likes to gamble on passes and gets careless with the ball. He's super quick on defense, so you have to use ball movement and try to use traffic against him to create space to shoot, but it's not impossible or anything.

BTW, my next big improvement in my game? I'm sinking all my skill points into the three point shot. It's up to like 68 now (which helps not only my treys, but my long 2s as well). That really has opened up my game since the defense has to be prepared for me to shoot from anywhere now.

Anonymous winnetou said...
Dan B.: totally agree with the consistency rating, but even with that, my 99 3pt still allows me to miss too often for my taste. Maybe my mediocre medium shot rating has similar influence to the 3-pointer->medium effect you described.

While we're discussing ratings, does anybody else have a yellow -rating? Had -5 at the start of the second season, it's now at -4 (in January...). The official forum only offered speculation that it was related to disappointment about playing less than 12 minutes/quarter (and less mpg as a result).

Anonymous Anonymous said...
how do you change the quarter length? do you have to do it before you start??

Blogger Dan B. said...
Anonymous -- If you have the Xbox360/PS3 version of the game, quarter length changes were added in the first patch, and you can change it in the options somewhere (the presentation menu perhaps?). If you are playing on the PC like me, you will need to hack the game to change quarter length since we still haven't gotten a patch. Instructions on how to change quarter length are detailed in this thread. It's actually pretty easy, and you only have to do it once, and you can do it in the middle of your career.

winnetou -- Remember, even the best three point shooters in real life still miss quite a few of them. It's hard to hit from downtown. Your midrange jumper probably should be improve to help your overall shooting performance (it's a blended thing, it's not just that your shot performance instantly improves tenfold when you get behind the arc), but also you might need to improve your shot off the dribble and your shot in traffic, and make sure you hit a couple shots in a row before attempting a trey.

Also, I think that the yellow -rating is exactly that. You are losing a slight bit of skill because your player isn't completely happy.

Anonymous oyam said...
hey bawful, i think you need to post this's disturbing...

Blogger Dan B. said...
oyam -- Oh yeah, I saw that picture earlier and had planned on posting it in my next post. Classic.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Has the Taco Bell ad with Charles Barkley been addressed yet on this site? If not, I think it needs to is the most surreal thing I have ever seen. I know it's more related to tacos than basketball but god is it strange.

Anonymous OneZero said...
thats one freaky picture, maybe the Germans are planning secretly to try take over the NBA? lol

hey Dan,

let me ask you, whats your team chemistry? mine is 100% which might explain a lot.

and no, my D12 does a good defense,maybe an occasional hiccup yeah, but my teammates gets bucket quite easily so it negates the opponent's scoring run. also, he catches my pass and just viciously dunk it hard, that's my D12. He is the league leader with 68% fg. I'm sure he grabs every rebound just like yours at least.

Vince and Rashard are deadeye shooters in my team, they just need to be OPEN, once they started bricking, thats where I usually decide to take over and score. Also, they pass to each other during fast breaks, man is that team chemistry? or is everyone on yours dies that too?

also, I play almost the entire minutes (actually 7 min quarter), my 2 backups are generic players from within the game, so I play almost the entire time,we are yet to blow big leads and lost,lucky me I guess.

right now its 36-1,I dont know, it feels too easy, almost all games are blowouts.

here's a tip
I use 2 ways to score:
one is dribble penetration, if I'm open enough I just dunked on em'(or layup) or look for someone open and kick it out for a shot(Vince,Rashard).

second, is to use screen for an open shot (usually my reliable 99 3pt shot)by passing the ball to the wing player and then running towards him,thus losing my marker from the screen created by my wing and knocks down a shot in which I hope to be a 3 pointer.

and if I get stuck? pick and roll with Howard, he picks,he rolls,he catches, he dunks. It's pretty useful.

Blogger Dan B. said...
OneZero -- I think our chemistry is 88% or so. My teammates don't get buckets easily. Vince Carter is just awful on my team most of the time (he's been recovering from an injured hand in my game), and Rashard is off more often than he's on it seems like. And we almost never get fast breaks unless I'm running them becaue my teammate lollygag around when they get the ball in transition, then pass back out to the perimeter and stand around. The one play in the video I uploaded where they pass it down to me for the fast break dunk? That was decidedly the exception.

I play around 27 minutes in a 32 minute game, but almost every time I come out of the game, my lead shrinks or we get further behind.

Dribble penetration for layups or kick-outs is my bread-and-butter. I try setting picks for my teammates, but they never seem to want to go in the direction I anticipate. I have better luck with trying to draw a doubleteam, then passing the ball to the open man. (Whether he makes that shot or not is a different story) Also, Howard never, never does what I want. He will not drive to the basket with the ball in his hands. The only way I can get him to score is to feed him the ball when he's directly underneath the hoops, or he'll sometimes get a putback dunk. He's a great rebounder, but that's about all he does for my team.

Blogger Rogue said...
Basketbawful, huge tip for you. I used to get frustrated with the random generated score from the cpu too when benched. Then I realized that if just let the game play, the scores end up fine. No 15 point swings on scoreboard in 30 seconds. It does take more time but it is worth it to enjoy the game. The only time I let the cpu forward/generate the game is when there is a 20 point blow out.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Rogue -- Intriguing... Thanks for the heads-up. I may have to try this in my next close game. (I'll of course post my results in the next diary entry)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
First off I want to say nice site. and second the benching thing is bad but what I hate more is that big men if they're open they'll shoot a 3 and 90% of the time they miss obviously.