Om nom nom nomEddy Curry's early inspiration, at least in the "gaining weight" department
(via Andy Gray's SI Vault)

Welcome to your Thursday night edition of BAD. Instead of spending time wondering how the hell Dollar Beer Night didn't result in a sellout, let's start off with a great article on the completely-screwed-up Knicks. To summarize: Jared Jeffries is a cap killer for no apparent reason, and Eddy Curry's gigantic contract is only appropriate for the size of his gigantic ass. Neither player is realistically tradeable, of course. And the Knicks are now interested in... Knee-Mac??? What a team. Oh, and did I mention Nate Robinson is still getting paid to sit around and do nothing but make sure the bench doesn't float away? And they recently signed an aging 7 foot stiff free agent with a history of bad knees? Yikes.

Your Quick NBA2K10 Update:

Seriously, buying this game has to be one of the best ways to get rid of $20 burning a hole in your pocket, because I've played it 20 times as much as any other game I've bought in the past five years. My Player mode is only slightly less addicting than heroin, and thankfully it doesn't have quite as many nasty effects on your health.

I finally bit the bullet and decided to change the clock from 5 minute quarters to 8 minutes. Because 2Ksports are too lazy to bother patching the PC version until next month at the earliest, I had to basically hack the game to do this. (Easy to do with instructions in the 2ksports forums, but still) At least now the scoring pace is much more realistic. Remember, bad clock management results in a faster pace and higher scoring than real life in the same time frame. Every team is running a bastardized version of 7SOL. Plus the extra time means it's much easier to get an A+ teammate rating to help gain skill points, because I can actually play smarter ball! I don't have to try too hard and make stupid mistakes trying to force things now. However, I still lose games because my teammates still suck. Stop standing flat-footed in the paint on defense, guys! Seriously, cut it out.

It's early April in my game, and we're now 11 games back from the Lakers in the Western conference, but still holding onto a playoff spot. That may not last much longer, since we've lost something like 8 of our past 9 games. The last loss was just heartbreaking. I was in a back-and-forth battle with the Thunder all game long. The lead kept changing hands, nobody got more than a 5 point lead at any point, and both teams were shooting well from the field for the most part. I cut to the left and back to the right for a quick and easy layup with 1.6 seconds left on the clock to give us a two point lead. The Thunder called their final timeout to draw up an inbounds play. Apparently, they stole some of the fan-submitted plays from the Wizards contest, because this was just bawful. Their inbounds play was to have James Harden run back to almost the half-court line, lazily lob the ball to him, and have him jack up a three from 40 feet at the buzzer. And he swished it (Antoine Walker would have been proud). I, meanwhile, just shook my head in disbelief. Oh well, at least I finally got to dunk the ball again in an actual game instead of just while practicing in shoot-around. That was nice.

So anyway, back to real basketball...

Light schedule of games tonight, as is the Thursday night norm. We've gotta make sure we're well rested for the horrendously bawful games scheduled for tomorrow night. Nyets/Raptors! Kings/T-Wolves! Clippers/Knicks! Worst of all, Generals/Warriors on national TV! But before we go into the future, let's take a quick trip back to last night before returning to the present. It's like a half-assed version of A Christmas Carol, or maybe Scrooged without the Bobcat Goldthwait appearance... (Can we get Bobcat to write on our blog? He's a fun guy, and I'm sure he has nothing better to do with his copious amounts of spare time)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Sorry. Seeing Kobe catch a basketball with his face makes me smile.

John Kuester


Kurt RambisDouble facepalm.

Larry Brown Larry isn't asking for a time-out. He's asking for a gun so he can shoot his team.

Rick Adelman" What? You mean the mock-neck black undershirt isn't cool?!"

Stan Van Gundy Ron Jeremy begins to give Jason Williams some pointers on "the 'biz"

Vince CarterHey, Vince, I recognize that pose. You watched a Madonna video last night, didn't you?

Vince Carter
Nationally Televised Games:

Magic at Heat: The battle of Florida tourist traps! Which vacation destination will prevail? Orlando's great on the road, but you know the whole second-night on a back-to-back thing... Throw in Jameer Nelson being injured, and ...yuck.

Suns at Trailblazers: The Suns' long time on the road finally gets a break after this game; ten of their next dozen games are at the US Airways Center. Also, this game is 87% less interesting without the Greg Oden Watch. But oh well. Steve Nash on TV! Steve Nash on TV!

All The Other Games:

Knicks at Bulls: Well, this very definately is our Basketbawful Game of the Night. Fun fact: the Bulls are shooting 39.7% from the field in their past five home games. All I can say for this game's watchability is thank God for Mike D'Antoni's defense.

Labels: , , , , , ,

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I might order some pizza tonight.

Blogger Bakes said...

Even better if that knucklehead delivers.

Blogger Glenn said...
I must get the number for that pizza place.

The AZ Republic posted that the Suns have lost 16 straight times they've been on TNT. Definite lulz right there.


Blogger chris said...
You know your career is considered to be on ice when you're getting a retrospective Sports Illustrated vault piece on you, like Jonathan Bender did THIS YEAR!

Blogger jim said...
Let the TNT curse END tonight, for the love of all that is rational...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
jim: FFFUUUUU I totally forgot about that.

Pre-emptive "welp".

Anonymous Knicknamer said...
Unrelated to this post, but while I was driving I came to a nickname revelation. Can we dub Elton Brand as Elton Bland? Yeah, his game is that boring.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
As an Elton Brand fantasy basketball owner, who still hates himself for leaving Josh Smith on the board, I approve of this nickname.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
D'Antoni-tastic: Knicks broke record for most 3's attempted in a half with 29. Record is 49, gogo

Blogger Dan B. said...
Well, looks like I was (sadly) right about this Magic/Heat game being ugly for the Magic.

GC2 -- I forgot all about the Suns TNT curse! Damnit.

Knicknamer -- I'm cool with rebranding him (see what I did there?) Elton Bland.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Damn. Only finished with 47 attempts. But 6 man rotation, first night on back to backs, just wow.

Chicago was 3-9 from the three.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Portland really likes flopping to get charge calls jesus

Blogger jim said...
SWAC ALERT: Danilo Gallinari: 6-17, 6-15 3pts.

Keeeeeeeep chuckin' it there, boy.

Anaconda: I'd be angrier about the flops if the Suns hadn't got a bunch of calls that went their way early. I wonder if that's the refs' way of building up a buffer so they can call bullshit calls on Phoenix late...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Yea, Dudley had an egregious flop too. I think everyone's just confused on how to work these refs. Though Portland is collapsing well on the inside, almost too well (to the point that even the announcers wondered why they'd double team Frye down low, leaving STAT a clear path for the dunk).

But oh my lord Przybilla topples over at the slightest touch, then goes up with extra touching for every rebound.

And as I type this, there were atleast 3 more questionable calls, against either team. Just wow.

Blogger jim said...
Well... damn... 17 in a row.

I'm thinking that inside of 4 minutes nobody but Nash should ever shoot unless they are WIDE WIDE open off of one of his passes.

Blogger chris said...
AHL: I'd like to nominate your fourth sentence from your 11:59 PM comment as your Unintentional Dirty Quote Of The Day.

BTW, yeah, I saw the Suns were doing well most of the night (was actually watching the Sharks game and taking care of some other stuff, after numbing my brain significantly with what looked like the expansion-era Magic out there!) and then I turn it back to TNT for the last minute and see that, indeed, the Turner Network Curse continues. Ouch.

So does Dick Bavetta have some shares invested in Time Warner? ;)

Blogger Boris Tilov said...
Yo, Bawful, you missed one of the most Bawful things to have occurred all night: with minute or so left in overtime, Kobe made a drive that drew a blocking foul on Bogut. In fact, it was a walk, a charge and a Bawful percentage shot all rolled into one. Bogut was there first, feet planted, and Kobe got the call. Of course, he gets the garbage to drop, and goes to the stripe for one. That put the Lakers within one, and THAT is why they one that game. Because Kobe got the All-Star call. I'm sick of that kind of basketball, and the lack of gonads to call a charge (or not call anything!) that perpetuates it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ Dan B

Could you give the link to the instructions in the 2ksports forums so that I can hack my game as well?


Blogger Dan B. said...
Anonymous -- Here's the forum thread with instructions. Very detailed, step-by-step, so it should be easy to follow.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Josh - you just landed close to one of my favorite Barkley quotes, from his days in Phoenix:

Reporter: Charles, what do you think about the Knick's inability to score? [the Suns blew out the knicks by over 20 points with a final score of something like 110-84]

Sir Charles: Man, those knuckleheads couldn't score by themselves in an open gym.

Bawful and I lived on that quote for about two months.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I've always been fond of the Charles quote in his TNT era: The only thing Kobe and Jordan got in common is that they're both black.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Simmons on Nash-D'Antoni from his column today: "Nash [is] having a vintage Nash season and reinventing the whole "D'Antoni's offense made Nash" argument to the point that you could make a much better case that Nash made D'Antoni"

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
From Dallas Morning News, via Truehoop: "Jason Terry has a unique commentary on defenses he is seeing this season. Terry is gettng more attention since he became the NBA's Sixth Man of the Year. 'I haven't seen any looks where I've been buck-naked, wide-open,' Terry said.
Considering Terry is an expert in the 30 foot money shot AnacondaHL diagrammed up, it's no wonder teams fear him getting buck-naked.

Blogger Beez Kneezy said...
Dunking in My Player mode is very rewarding.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
AnacondaHL - It seems like Barkley has changed his mind about Kobe then, since last night he said something like Kobe's not Jordan, but he's right there. However, my favorite part of Inside the NBA last night was Kenny and Charles laughing at Paul Pierce for faking that "injury" in Game 1 of the 2008 NBA Finals. "Fake Willis Reed" is a good nickname for Pierce :)

Anonymous Knicknamer said...
@ Dan, your witty response got me haha.

So Elton Brand doesn't become Elton Bland? Sigh, it's ok.

I shall return with more!

Knicknamer, up up and away!

Blogger Dan B. said...
Knicknamer -- I dunno, Elton Bland is pretty solid. Predictable, but in a good way. I'll probably use it if I ever have reason to talk about him. Unfortunately, I never have any reason to (appropriately enough).

Blogger chris said...
Dan B. - One reason to talk about him is in comparing him to Jon Koncak!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Wild Yams - I saw that, it was hilarious. "That's like one and a half minutes of game time?!". It's currently second with 17% of the vote, let's hope it doesn't win...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Well with the way Kobe's playing now and buttering up the media, I found myself nodding with Charles's new, less sarcastic comment on Kobe. It's going to take a "Giants vs 18-0" type miracle to deny the Lakers of the trophy this year.

I'm still bitter that the Lakers can dominate so hard, while the Suns have already lost a ridiculous amount of "shoulda won, coulda won, but let it slip away" games already this season. Every time Earl Clark makes the lacktion report, a piece of my soul dies. And every missed layup that reminds me of Shawn Marion, ughh.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Anon - I believe it actually was something like a minute and a half of game time. That's what's so funny about that clip, cause they show him appearing to be in so much agony, then he gets carried off the floor and then put in a wheelchair, and then less than two minutes later he comes skipping out of the locker room and plays with no ill effects for the rest of the game or the series (and in fact wins Finals MVP). He musta watched The Karate Kid or something the night before. It's great to see the TNT guys making fun of him for that.

AnacondaHL - I'm curious, what is Kobe doing now with the media that he hasn't done in the past? I tend to have a warped view of his relationship with the media because I've seen him interviewed so much by the local media here in LA over the years that I lack the perspective a lot of people have when they only see him interviewed by national media. The only real thing I've noticed that seems different about him lately (and this is probably just in local media coverage) is that when he's quoted in the papers a lot this year, they almost always have to bleep out his swearing. That seems to be a new thing with him this year. He doesn't do it in TV interviews, of course, just when he speaking to beat reporters. I can see the change in Kobe's play, I'm just not aware of how he's "buttering up the media" more than he used to.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Oh yeah, on the Suns and them losing close games, IMO it's because Steve Nash doesn't step up enough in crunch time. It's not because he can't step up in crunch time (cause IMO he's one of the best crunch time players in the game), but rather that he just so rarely chooses to, or only does in situations like last night, when it's arguably too late. Steve Nash lives for the assist, and that is great and it's what makes the Suns go, but he's also an incredible scorer when he wants to be, but he rarely seems to embrace that. If Steve Nash would just take over games down the stretch the way that guys like Kobe, LeBron and Wade do, then the Suns would win a lot more of those close games. Going to Amar'e over and over in crunch time the way they did last night is just not the best way to play. This has always been a big criticism I've had of Nash, and I think it's why he's never been to The Finals (cause execution down the stretch is what playoff basketball is all about). He has the ability to take over games, he just doesn't have the desire to do so.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Yams: I could choose to go into detail on this, but I think it's easier just to sum it up by saying Kobe raped a teenager, everyone is somehow okay with this, and has been utilizing his wife and daughters since to rebuild his image.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Man, that was caustic. I do have a serious question though: other than just blatantly hating Kobe, why is anyone so convinced that he actually did rape that girl? Was there some evidence that was presented or leaked which convinced you of his guilt? I paid extra-close attention to that whole case when it was going on (I'm a Laker fan, after all), and it seemed to me like everything that ever came out made it seem less and less likely that the girl accusing Kobe was telling the truth. Them finding evidence of her having had sex with at least two other people when they did the rape exam, her telling the police she never told him to stop, her having set up the whole meeting in advance with Kobe, nobody having heard or seen anything to give credence to her claims, her wanting to stay in the room when Kobe asked if she'd like to go out and take a hot tub with him, etc. Her then telling the police she'd refuse to testify forcing them to drop the case before it went to trial didn't help her credibility either, IMO. Neither did her then subsequently hitting Kobe up for money with a civil suit. I mean, none of us knows what really happened there, I'm just curious why some people are so convinced that he actually did it.

For myself, I'm not "okay" that he "raped a teenager", I just doubt that a rape ever took place. If evidence had ever come out that made it look like he did, I'd have wanted him to be locked up for the maximum allowable years. It just seemed, as the case went on, that it was more likely to that the girl was using that situation to extort money from a high-profile wealthy guy. Like I said, none of us knows what happened.

As for his wife and kids, he's certainly not the only sports or NBA star to have them there at the games. If he's using them to soften his image, he got that move from many, many other athletes who bring their kids up to the podium for post-game pressers and all that. Hell, Eddie House had his son hanging out on the bench with the Celtics during the games back in 2008.

I dunno, I guess Kobe will always be one of the most polarizing guys in sports. People who hate him will always hate him and always look for the most evil thing with him and will always assume the worst, and people who love him will shut out all the negative things about him. I only care about him as a basketball player, same as any other person in the league. I don't really care what kind of a person he is or what he does in his personal life (as long as the courts don't have a problem with what he does). I think he's got a lot of talent, but he's got some flaws as well, and I like to think I'm fair in discussing both.

Blogger jim said...
Yams: My take on the Kobe situation is that the whole thing was just a lot more complicated than the result turned out to be. Bottom line--sexual assault is a huge category of violent crime/behavior, and it could very well be that while he might not have "raped" her in the sense that we might think of when we hear the term used, there could have been something that went on that crossed a line of consent, but would have been impossible to uphold in court without clear, indisputable evidence. And, like you said, the more details that came out, the less clearcut the situation seemed.

While it's certainly within the realm of possibility that the girl was flat-out trying to extort money from him, it's also just as possible that once things reached a certain point she changed her mind--in which case, while it would have been hard to prove in a court of law, would have been a violating experience.

Again, that's just speculation on my part, because none of us really know what went on. In general, sexual assault is a lot more widespread--and covers a lot more situations--than we often think it does, so that's where my opinion comes from.

I've no love for Kobe, but I'd also like to think I treat him rather fairly in discussions. Just don't ask me to discuss him the night after the Suns play the Lakers, natch.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
As I said before, I have no idea what went on (none of us do). I just don't know why anyone would assume he's guilty unless they just hate him so much that they hope that he really did rape someone. Everything about his accuser was fishy, from her having semen from multiple partners in her when they examined her, to her having tried to kill herself twice prior to the event, to her having been hospitalized for being "a danger to herself" and being on anti-psychotic medication, to her changing her story a couple times and admitting to having exaggerated some aspects of what she said at first, and finally with her refusing to testify. Why refuse to testify at that point? All that stuff was already out there, as was her name, so why make the accusation but then decide instead to go after Kobe financially while simultaneously telling the cops she wouldn't testify? Since she was the only alleged witness, her refusal to testify torpedoed her own case. And since all that negative stuff was already out there about her, what did she have to lose at that point? Unless of course she was concerned an innocent verdict would kill her civil case. Generally rape victims don't say "I don't care if he goes to jail, just so long as he pays me."

So that's why I ask: for anyone who does believe Kobe raped her, what did you see or hear which convinced you of it?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Granted, the defense lawyers did an excellent job revealing how over-the-top crazy the girl was, that still doesn't change her blood DNA on his shirt, and the parts of the story revealed by both sides. A beautiful correlation for causation switch, swept up by the out of court money settlement.

And I'd be hesitant to assume that the choice to testify would seem so easy or straightforward. In fact, why not turn it around. If Kobe himself knew he was innocent, why not go to court to prove it? As fun as this bias and arguments with semantics is, I'm inclined to believe the "both sides were in the wrong" scenario, which is generally the case.

As for the wife and kids move, which by the was Kobe made it seem more forced and artificial more than any athlete before him imho, just because people did it before doesn't make it right.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
AnacondaHL - Regarding the wife and kids, keep in mind you're saying that bringing his wife and kids to games is in some way an awful thing, and that just because others have done it doesn't make it right. Just read that back to yourself and ask what exactly you're so upset about.

As for Kobe wanting to go to civil court to clear his name, my guess is his lawyers told him that if he did so, it would probably drag on for a while and it would cost him a lot of money in legal fees to do so. In the meantime he'd continually be in the media dealing with it, and being that it's a civil suit she wouldn't have to show anything "beyond a shadow of a doubt". Civil cases are much easier to win than criminal ones. Kobe's other option was to just give her some money and it would all be over. Considering he's worth hundreds of millions of dollars, it's not surprising he'd just take that option. It's also possible his wife may have told him he had to take that option because she was done dealing with it. It's perfectly understandable why Kobe would just pay the money and be done.

However, it's not understandable at all why his accuser wouldn't want to try to put him in jail if he did in fact rape her. The only reasons I can think of for why she wouldn't want to see the case against him go forward are either that she was worried about her reputation being sullied under cross examination, or because she was worried an innocent verdict would kill any chance of her getting paid through a civil suit. Since her reputation had already been destroyed in the media, that only leaves the other option. Connect the dots.

As for the blood, it's quite possible (and not even that rare) that there might be blood shed during completely consensual intercourse, especially if Kobe is as big as his accuser was reportedly heard bragging about at a party two days later.

Like I said, I have no idea what happened there, and as such I certainly don't have enough evidence to know whether Kobe did or didn't rape her. The police and prosecutors couldn't gather enough evidence to make a case against him, so it was never brought to trial. In light of that, I fail to see how you somehow can know for sure that he did rape her. I'm sorry but your being so sure about his guilt (when none was proven) seems to be coming more from you just disliking him so much that if he was a rapist then it would help you justify your negative feelings for him. I really feel sorry for you if that's the case. It's probably best for us to just agree to disagree on this one, cause I don't really have much else to say if that's your position.

Anonymous Shiv said...
@ Yams:

I don't think anyone is CONVINCED that Kobe raped that girl. IMO, he didn't. It's just fun getting under Laker's fans skins by calling him a rapist.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Ugh, the patented WildYams wall of text attack.

Let me just say that, if it's not obvious already, I put value in the "how/why" more than the simplified black-and-white "did" type argument, in both situations. Obviously, I don't think bringing your family in itself is bad, nor do I know with 100% certainty that Kobe put his penis in some orifice of a teenager. But the how/why intrigue me.

Civil cases are easier to win? Tell that to OJ =D

And no one knows how much the money settlement was, in anyone's assumption about what could have been a cheaper option. It makes more sense to assume the out of money settlement in this case was more expensive, due to the assumption that going to court would require time that the superstar did not have.

Connect the dots? I already said "I'm inclined to believe the "both sides were in the wrong" scenario, which is generally the case.". Even your own words describe this, among your other Kobe defense what-ifs. (P.S. the blood was found to probably not be menstrual blood, it's ok Yams we all know you just like to talk about Kobe's size)

tl;dr: Shiv's spot on. Delicious is the Laker bias.

Anonymous Lucas said...
I still laugh to this day after learning that Kobe bought his wife that gigantic diamond ring. Apparently it's ok for Kobe to stick his dick in another woman, as long as a shopping spree is involoved in the aftermath.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Lucas: It's actually not just gigantic. While diamonds are some of the most common rocks on the Earth and should be cheap (don't get me started on this!), the "Kobe special" as it's now called is a 8-carat purple diamond, which we can only assume is natural due to its absurd $500,000/carat price. Of course they can be synthesized now, but natural blue, green, and red diamonds are actually quite rare which justifies their high price.

Oh right, here's a picture of it.

Anonymous Lucas said...
Anaconda: I just vomited in disgust after seeing that picture. Thanks for wasting a perfectly good lunch :)

Anonymous tabman8 said...
Uh, I realize this discussion has died, but let me chime in anyway and say that one of the reasons people think Kobe may have been guilty of sexual assault is his own statement released as part of the agreement to dismiss the criminal case. This is certainly one of the biggest reasons I have doubts about his innocence. Here's the relevant part of his own statement:

"I also want to make it clear that I do not question the motives of this young woman. No money has been paid to this woman. She has agreed that this statement will not be used against me in the civil case. Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did. After months of reviewing discovery, listening to her attorney, and even her testimony in person, I now understand how she feels that she did not consent to this encounter."