Mamba says: "Bloargh!"

Update! Whoops. Forgot to thank Sky Flakes for today's pic.

Rashad McCants: Khloe Kardashian -- otherwise known as the little sister of that chick who's famous for reasons my human brain can't begin to fathom -- has officially broken up with McCants. This is how she announced the split on her Web site: "I wanted you all to be the first to hear the news that as of last night Rashad and I are no longer together. Relationships are hard enough as it is when you live in the same city, and he's in a different city everyday for games. Our time together was just so limited because of both of our schedules that we decided it is best not to be in a committed relationship. The last seven months have been great and we will definitely remain close friends."

Rashad: YOU'VE BEEN FRIENDED. That's great on Facebook, bad from somebody you used to form the beast-with-two-backs with. The news must have been pretty hard for McCants to take, particularly considering that he can't get off...the Timberwolves' bench: He's logged 12 DNP-CDs in Minnesota's last 13 games. Rejected first by Kevin McHale, then by the kid sister of a B-List (or maybe even C-List) celebrity. Ouchies.

McCants is apparently expressing his heartbreak on (surprise!) his Facebook page. During this ordeal, his relationship status went from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated" to "In an Open Relationship." And the "interests" section of his profile read: "that's who my relationship is with...MONEY." It seems he also posted: "F**k you [haters]. My status is Star Status." Okay then. He did attempt to set the record straight on his own official site, just so we didn't think Khloe broke up with him because he was cheating on her during his time "in a different city every day."

Awesome doesn't begin to describe how I feel about the sheer amount of drama generated by an NBA player who doesn't even play and his not-really-famous ex-girlfriend. As Yakov Smirnoff would no doubt say: What a country! Maybe Rashad will find some sort of release in poetry. Go read his epic ballad Hustle and Cream.

The Washington Wizards Generals: Breaking news! Dr. Paul Armstrong, the world-famous meteor scientist who defeated the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, has recently unearthed the heretofore unknown substance that lies below what is known as "rock bottom." And that substance is: The Washington Generals. This historic discovery was made after the Memphis Grizzles -- who have had three different coaches (Marc Iavaroni, Johnny Davis and Lionel Hollins) in the 12 games since they last enjoyed the thrill of victory -- went to Washington and beat the Generals by 16 behind O.J. Mayo's career-high-tying 33 points.

Said Generals interim coach Ed Tapscott: "That was the worst effort I've seen us give since I've been here. There wasn't any hustle. There wasn't any life. That was just a very, very poor effort." The AP recap doesn't say that Tapscott then broke into tears, but that's sort of how I'm imagining it.

O.J. Mayo, unintentional disrespect machine: Remember how I mentioned that Mayo matched his career high against the Generals? Well, his final two points were scored on an uncontested dunk on the Grizzlies' final possession...when Mayo could have just to run out the clock. Tapscott didn't care, dismissing the In-Your-Face Disgrace as an act of "youthful exuberance." But Caron Butler was pissed: "That's a sign of disrespect. It's one of those things. You've got to understand people are going to kick you when you're down." That's true, but Caron, think about it: That's the BEST TIME to kick somebody! [/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan]

Mayo, on the other hand, was going with Tapscott's "youthful exuberance" angle: "Just so happy to get a win. I'm sorry on the sportsmanship thing, I was just so happy to get a win and bring it home with a bang and finally have a positive feeling in the locker room at the end of the game." Well, look out, O.J. The Generals will be in Memphis for their revenge game on April Fool's Day. Appropriate, huh?

Lionel Hollins, blame-passing machine: After the Griz busted out of their slump last night, their latest coach said: "They haven't lost 12 in a row with me." Remember, Lionel: When you point a finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you.

The Orlando Magic: Talk about bad nights. The Magic lost Jameer Nelson for the game -- and maybe for a while -- after he dislocated his right shoulder in the third quarter. With Nelson out, Orlando's opponent, the Dallas Mavericks, got hot: The Mavs went on a 19-6 to build a 75-57 third-quarter lead. They then started the fourth with a 10-4 burst to push their lead to 87-67. The Magic actually rallied to pull to within 99-90 with 2:29 left...but never got any closer. For the game, Dallas shot 53 percent to Orlando's 42 percent. Said Stan Van Gundy: "That one was pretty simple. We couldn't stop them, and we couldn't score. That makes for a long evening."

The New York Knicks: Before his team's game against the Lakers, Mike 'Antoni stood up before the court of public opinion and said: "The defense rests, your honor." However, the imaginary judge I made up for this story was confused. Why, he wondered, does New York's defense need to rest? They haven't even done anything this season! And that didn't change last night, as every player on the Knicks' roster bent over in unison and said: "Yes, Kobe! Take us! Take us any way you want us!" And that's exactly what the Mamba did, scoring a Madison Square Garden record 61 points on 19-for-31 shooting (and a perfect 20-for-20 from the line).

'Anonti, you might remember, liked to employ a "Let Kobe score as many points as he wants" strategy when he was coaching in Phoenix, with the theory being that Kobe's ball-hoggery would keep his teammates off the stat sheet while wearing Mamba down by the fourth quarter. And, uh, yeah, that worked like a charm, didn't it? Said 'Antoni: "We tried to do the rope-a-dope a little bit where he might shoot himself out, but he didn't. He just kept on going."

Kobe's non-stop hotness wasn't the only flaw in Mikey's full-of-holes plan. Pau Gasol finished with 31 points, 14 rebounds and 5 assists. So much for holding down everybody BUT Kobe.

Much as it may surprise some people, I think it's awesome that Kobe came out all shoot 'em up after it was announced that Andrew Bynum will be out at least 8-10 weeks. That's what great players are supposed to do: Stamp out any notions of vulnerability. Of course, it helped that he was facing a thighs wide open defense. My only regret is that he had to break Bernard King's MSG record of 60 points set on Christmas Day in 1984. I would have liked to see King's record stand.

More bad news for the Knicks: New York hosts Cleveland on Wednesday and Boston on Friday. It's the first time a team has played three straight games against opponents with .750 winning percentages after February 1st since the Celtics did it in February 1995. Thanks to the Elias Sports Bureau for that useless stat of the day.

The Los Angeles Clippers: Okay. I take back what I've been saying all season. The Clippers AREN'T who we thought they were. They're WORSE. Baron Davis, Marcus Camby and now Zach Randolph are all back, but even that couldn't alter The Other L.A. Team's trance-like play, as they lost 119-95 to the Heat in Miami. The Clips have now lost six straight and 20 of 22. I'd insert the obligatory Mike Dunleavy Sr. "why we lost" quote here, but the fact that he's still coaching this team fills me with a white-hot rage. So I'm going to just skip it today.

Miami shot almost 56 percent from the field and tied their second-highest point total of the season. The other time they scored 119 was against the defenseless Kings. They also scored 130 points, in overtime, versus the equally defenseless Warriors. Basically, the only way the Clippers defense could have looked worse was if the Knicks hadn't been playing last night.

The New Orleans Hornets: Like the Magic, the Hornets suffered a crippling third-quarter injury, only it was even more cripplingier: Chris Paul strained his right groin. (Yes, CP3 is so manly he has multiple groins. What about it?) When Paul left with 1:30 left in the third, New Orleans was up on Portland 72-55. They were then outscored 42-17 [!!] the rest of the way, including 38-15 in the fourth quarter, en route to losing 97-89. No doubt if you look up "complete and total collapse" in the dictionary, you'll find a short description of this game.

But the Hornets' defeat wasn't due only to a weakness in the backcourt, they were also pitifully feeble up front, getting outrebounded 52-32 by the Blazers. Apparently, the New Orleans players think that "box out" is just a particular kind of pornography. Speaking of which...

Comcast: The Philadelphia branch of the cable giant was forced to apologize Monday to Tucson-area customers because -- get this! -- the Super Bowl was interrupted by 30seconds worth of hard core porn. Seriously. Jennifer Khoury, Comcast's vice president for corporate communications, said: "Our initial investigation suggests this was an isolated malicious act." I'm not sure whether they're talking about the interruption itself or the scene that was actually shown. Maybe both? Anyway, Comcast says they're very sorry about the whole mess and is offering a generous $10 credit for those effected. Which, ironically, is about what they charge viewers for porn on their pay-per-view service.

Update! Groin injuries: Sun Devil sent in this image of CP3 immediately after his right-groin injury. Looks like it smarts something 'bawful. As Sun Devil said: "This is the most powerful piece of expression since Hans Moleman's indie flick."

CP3 groin

The Charlotte Bobcats: Despite the continuing absence of Carlos Boozer (knee) and Andrei Kirilenko (ankle) as well as the new absence of Deron Williams (who sat out due to a contusion above his right knee), the 'Cats lost by 19 in Utah. Charlotte is now 0-3 since their miracle win over the Lakers and haven't finished any of those games within single digits of their opponent. The Bobcats actually shot pretty well (50 percent) and got 4 whole points out of former lottery pick Adam Morrison, but they also committed 24 turnovers (which helped the Jazz score an extra 32 points) and missed 8 free throws.

Raja Bell, back-handed compliment machine: Regarding his team's loss to a squad comprised mostly of Utah's backups: "That team that was on the court for them, I'm reluctant to say they're a better team than we are, but they beat us tonight and I'll tip my hat to them." Did anyone actually see Raja's hat? I hope it looked like a giant hot dog.

The Sacramento Kings: The Kings are trying their darnedest to prove that they, and not the Washington Wizards Generals are the worst team in the NBA. And last night's disaster against the Phoenix Suns might just have done the trick. The Sactowners were down 21 points by the end of the first quarter and ended up losing by 48 in what can only be described as a complete and utter cornholing. Of course, this was a case of the Suns, as a team and as a franchise, screaming: "WE'RE OKAY! SEE?! WE'RE REALLY, REALLY OKAY!" This sentiment was echoed by Terry Porter, who said afterward: "This win was definitely needed, from the standpoint of our confidence. Maybe we'll start believing we're a good team." Uh, you do realize you were playing the worst defensive team in the league...right, Terry?

But I'm not here to criticize the team that WON by almost 50 points. Sacramento shot 37 percent, missed 10 threes, committed 26 turnovers (to only 13 assists) and did enough hacking to give up 40 free throw attempts to the Suns. The Suns set a season-high for points (129) and a home record for margin of victory (it was also the largest winning margin by any team this season). But the worst part is that this wasn't even the only time the Kings have lost by 40+ points this season: They also lost by 45 to the Celtics. And that happened in Sacramento.

Bonus facts: The Suns outrebounded the Kings 64-44, including 21 off the offensive boards. They finished with a season-high 30 fast break points. They also had a season-high 16 steals, and they outscored Sacramento 64-34 in the paint.

Chris provided some perfectly bland quotes from Kings coach Kenny Natt's post game press conference: "That was a very embarrassing game." And: "They jumped on us right away and we were never really in the ballgame." Plus: "An all-around lack of effort tonight, offensively, defensively." Furthermore: "When you're hungry, you'll get 21 offensive rebounds, you'll get 59 total rebounds. Their effort was a lot better than ours." Moreover: "We've shown we're a lot better than that and we've played a lot better than that." Finally: "The game was lost in the first five minutes of the game." And yes, that sound you just heard was the Dull-Negrometer exploding.

The Golen State Warriors: The Knicks, Clippers and Kings were all horrible on the defensive end, and the Warriors tried to upstage them. They didn't quite get there, but they did well enough to lose at home in overtime to the Spurs, who exploded for 110 points. And yes, I consider 110 and explosion for the Spurs. Manu Ginobili scored a season-high 32 points and Tim Duncan matched his season-high with an identical 32.

Stephen Jackson actually could have won the game at the end of regulation, but he missed a leaning jumper on which, he thinks, he was hacked. "I got fouled. I took the shot and he hit my arm. I guess I'm not good enough to get that call." The Suns feel your pain, Captain Jack.

Lacktion report: Basketbawful's interpid lacktion beat report Chris once again took some time out to provide our daily dose of lacktivity.

Mavs-Magic: Ryan Hollins put in a true Voskuhl for Dallas by fouling out after 10:41 of playing time and giving away the ball once, against one made shot and one rebound -- a staggering ratio of 7:3!

Grizzlies-Wizards: Greg Buckner was forced into extended playing time, where the pull of contributory basketball simply became irresistible. So Memphis's Kyle Lowry produced his +1 via foul in 3:56, before getting hurt.

Clippers-Heat: With Mike Dunleavy Sr. benching Cheikh Samb, he needed to find two new robber barons, and off his bench came DeAndre Jordan and Jason Hart, who did not disappoint. Jordan's 2.9 trillion nicely complemented a 21-second Mario from Hart.

Lakers-Knicks: After an absence from these reports, Sun Yue heated up with a one-foul +1 in 1:48 at MSG, as the human victory cigar to cap off an offensive explosion by the Lakers (who, highlighted by Kobe's 61 points, never scored fewer than 30 in a quarter -- a clear after-effect of Mike 'antoni efense!!).

Bobcats-Jazz: Alexis Ajinca gave Charlotte a 49 second Mario, coupled with a brick. In those same 49 seconds, Utah's Morris Almond also racked up a Mario -- creating Mario Brothers from opposing teams for once! Almond did get an assist in his limited seconds of court time.
Kobe Bryant: After spit-roasting the Knicks, Mamba was toweling off in the locker room when he looked over at Luke Walton and said: "You know, Luke, I'm never gonna forget the night we scored 67 together." After a short pause, Kobe said: "How many of those did you score again?" When Luke didn't immediately answer, Kobe said: "I ASKED HOW MANY OF THOSE YOU SCORED, WALTON!" To which Luke was forced to reply "Six." "Oh," said Mamba. "Well, uh, great game and all that."

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Blogger chris said...
"My status is Star Status" is probably the most ironic line of the month so far!

CAPTCHA: "etrampo" nice.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It should be noted that ESPN also referred to the Bobcats as the Charlotte Hornets in their recap of the game: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/recap?gameId=290202026

Blogger chris said...
BTW, I've thought lately that the purpose of the "Dunleavy era" at Staples is nothing more than to give the Lakers an extra eight home games...

Blogger chris said...
The redundancy of "the game was lost in the first five minutes of the game" is stunning beyond belief - as dull as Natt's sayings look in print, they're even more lifeless when coupled with his on-screen monotone voice. Really!

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Bawful, kudos on your take on Kobe last night. I know you hate the guy, but unlike others 'round these parts, you're more realistic about when you let loose on him. Anyway, I talked enough about Kobe in the last post here, so instead I want to talk about the MVP award and how Chris Paul's injury last night shows why it really should be between he and LeBron this year (provided CP3 doesn't miss a lot of time with his pulled groin, that is). Last night was as clear an example of how valuable one guy can be to his team as I've seen in a long time. With Paul in the game the Hornets were up 20 on the road against a team with a massive size and depth advantage, but after Paul went out the team fell apart. I have a feeling the same thing would happen to the Crabs if LeBron went out of a game like that, but I'm not sure if that would happen to the Lakers if Kobe got hurt, or to the Magic if Howard got hurt (well, maybe now that Bynum and Nelson are injured, but not with those teams at full strength). The Crabs and the Hornets lean on their main players more than any other team in the league, by far. To me this is the real definition of "most valuable".

BTW, you keep mentioning how the Bobcats haven't won since beating the Lakers, but keep in mind that they've been missing Wallace since then, and he is a pretty key player for them. "I'm just sayin'..." :)

Blogger chris said...
Wild Yams: By that token, if Bynum is out for an extended period of time, doesn't that somehow bolster Kobe's MVP chances if the Lakers continue to roll through the West? He probably won't throw down 60 every game but with that injury, he's now going to spend much of the rest of the year in the same primary-threat setup that CP3 and King Crab are.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I...I just completely stat cursed my fantasy team by stating Jameer Nelson and Chris Paul were my PGs on this site, didn't I...

"Believe in self and not DNPs on the shelf." - how the actual lyrics of Hustle and Cream should go

Blogger chris said...
Bizarre stunt at Thunder game goes very, very wrong:


Anonymous Anonymous said...
Hey, remember when the Spaniard Marshmel... uh, I mean, Pau Gasol and his gang was blasted for taking a picture making a slanted eyes gesture?

Now its time to Miley Cyrus to take the heat: http://news.lalate.com/2009/02/02/miley-cyrus-asian/

The funny note is: in the same week, Cyrus reportedly traded in her Porsche Cayenne last week for a … Toyota Prius.

Blogger chris said...
AnacondaHL: Maybe you and Tony.Bluntana should exchange fantasy rosters and see whose stat curse counteracts the other...

CAPTCHA: "inghdest" - how one takes in another bawful Kings broadcast?

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Chris, if the Lakers end up with the NBA's best record despite Bynum being out for 8-12 weeks, then maybe he'll have made his case to repeat as the MVP; but I find the likelihood of the Lakers finishing with a better overall record than Cleveland or Boston to be very small given Bynum's injury. Sure they beat the Knicks and Grizzlies on the road w/o Bynum, but they're gonna have some losses they might not have had if Bynum was healthy, that's just reality. Getting the #1 seed in the West won't be enough in my opinion for Kobe to warrant another MVP. Also, don't expect Kobe to even attempt to score like he did last night again for a long time unless everyone else on the Lakers is extremely cold from the field. Kobe said after the game last night that him scoring like that is a luxury but is definitely not the game plan, just like it wasn't last year after they got Gasol. The Lakers still have way too many weapons for Kobe to start shooting it more than he had been. Kobe knows he's not gonna be on fire like that every night.

Blogger Unknown said...
I was at the Knicks/Lakers game last night. And even though im a laker fan, I think you need to give a WOTN mention to the MSG crowd. There were some smatterings of boo's, but mostly it was MVP chants and a standing ovation when Kobe left the floor. That's got to make the Knicks feel great. The diehards could hardly muster a weak MVP chant for David Lee, which in comparison to the rousing one they gave Kobe seconds before became all the more pathetic. Yikes.

Blogger Austen said...
Ok, the Bobcats deserve an extra special "Worst of the Night" for last night's performance. Not only did they allow the Jazz to come back from from that horrible first quarter...they gave up 6 points, 2 rebounds, and 1 assist on only 1 foul to Jarron Collins. Jarron Collins, people! The undisputed 14th/15th man on the Jazz roster, who only plays when the Jazz are desperate (or Shaq is in town). Not to mention, when Collins came into the game the Jazz were only up by 2. When he left, the Jazz were up by 16. Now THAT's embarassing.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Sun Yue had a +/- of -8 last night, in less than two minutes of court time.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Rashad McCants says:

"How is there loyalty when friends is switch teams
We trade stocks and shares but can't help my hood and the NBA cares over there.
Eve should have ate that pear then maybe life would be more fair.
Gloomy days stormy nights kids watch videos instead of riding bikes.
No flying kites chilling on windy Wednesday, we need us a black men's day,
but us Negros been blind, fuck xray, the only real celebration is your death day.
Women are trapped because that dude didn't really seem gay,
friends fooled because friends said they would never stray.
didn't sense the hate but friends really been fake.
Jail time got brothers really changing faith. Thought friends had they back like bathing ape. "

"friends is switch teams"??? "Us Negros been blind, fuck X-ray"???"bathing ape"??? "Women are trapped because that dude didn't really seem gay"???

This guy makes Marbury sound like William Shakespeare. Holy crap!! Thanks for that link- I now know what a complete douche this guy is.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Seriously- sorry for the double-post, but what in the HELL is "bathing ape" supposed to mean? Did he just throw 'changing faith' into a rhyme generator and out popped 'bathing ape'??? This is just ridiculous, people.

There needs to be a governing body of rappers that filters and controls this type of crap. Memo to Rashad: just because you are an NBA player doesn't give you free license to churn out crappy-ass lyrics (COUGH!RonartestCOUGH!!!). People like you are responsible for the death of Hip-Hop. PUT THE MICROPHONE DOWN AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY!

Blogger Basketbawful said...
chris -- Oh, wait, that "Star Status" line was from MY Facebook. Sorry.

darkcoupon -- Seriously, how long is it going to take people to stop making that mistake?!

chris -- Wouldn't that only give the Lakers four extra home games?

Yams -- The absence of a decent backup PG and a general lack of depth makes the Hornets way too reliant on CP3. Sure, that makes him an MVP candidate for sure, but it also makes them uniquely vulnerable...as we saw last night. As dependent as the Crabs are on LeBron, remember, they went on their big run against the Pistons the other day while King Crab was on the bench. They're much deeper this season than they have been in his time there, and Mo Williams has been much better than I would have thought.

It'll be interesting to see what happens with Bynum out. I think that Kobe will probably pick up his game (scoring-wise) and, if the Lakers go on a run, he'll definitely pull off the back-to-back. I would have rated his chances as nil until Bynum went down. Oddly, the injury actually increases his chances.

AnacondaHL -- Dude, you should have known better. Seriously. I mentioned after one of my drafts that I got Deron Williams and Michael Redd and, well, you know?

chris -- Ha! I was trying to put together a post about that when you commented!

Yams -- Kobe won't be going for 60 every night, but he's more than capable for picking up some extra scoring load without compromising what the team has been doing. I bet he'll average around 30 PPG over the next month. I'd be surprised if he didn't.

reuben -- I considered giving the New York crowd a WotN for that very thing. But man, they've been through a lot the last several years. They're obviously suffering some post-traumatic stress.

Austen -- Quick question: What's worse, the 'Cats letting Collins go off for 6 and 2 or the Pacers letting Mark Blount explode for 17 and 8?

Anonymous -- Oh my God...is Yue actually Hiro from "Heroes"? Because it would have taken a time warp to pull that off.

AK Dave -- Tell the truth: You'll be plagiarizing Rashad when you're writing out your annual Valentine's Day poem. Admit it.

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: Yeah, only four. I miscounted. Still...how many other NBA teams have that advantage? Or for that matter, any team in any sport.

I wonder how many yellow shirts and jerseys are in the crowd at Staples for a Clippers' "home game" against Mamba.

AK Dave: Maybe we should have a Rashad McCants Poetry Style contest here...imagine what the readers of this fine blog here could come up with. :D

Blogger Basketbawful said...
AK Dave -- Bathing Ape is a clothing store that specializes in "street wear." So I guess since you might have Bathing Ape clothing on your back, then it's, uh, comparable to someone, you know, having your back. You know. If you think about it.

Blogger Austen said...
Austen -- Quick question: What's worse, the 'Cats letting Collins go off for 6 and 2 or the Pacers letting Mark Blount explode for 17 and 8?

When you're facing the Pacers, everyone's stats get inflated. And as bad as I have to assume Mark Blount is, he can't possibly be worse than the Twin Towers that are the Collins brothers. Jarron Collins is on record as saying that when he's on the court he's just hoping he can collect some fouls for the team. When HE'S scoring on you, you really suck. And his looks were pretty open last night, particularly that between-the-legs-of-the-defender pass Knight shot him for a wide-open dunk.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Mr. Bawful, you really think Kobe could get the MVP again if the Crabs win more than 50 games this year (a feat they'll almost surely accomplish)? Last year people were saying that was the only thing standing in the way of LeBron getting an MVP, so I can't imagine him not getting it this year. Really the only way I could see Kobe getting it over LeBron is the same way I thought I could see Kobe getting it over CP3 last year: which team has the better record. I think it'll take LA finishing with the league's best record for Kobe to have a real shot at another MVP this year.

As for Kobe increasing his scoring load, I think it might go up just a little bit, but I was more referring just to the number of shots he takes. He's averaging about 20 per game for the year, and last night he took 31. I don't think you'll suddenly see his attempts jump up to the high 20s with Bynum out. Keep in mind that up until a couple weeks ago Bynum wasn't really scoring a whole lot anyway and the Lakers were still rolling. I think Odom's scoring will probably go up, and you'll see more minutes for guys like Josh Powell, Chris Mihm and Vlad Radmanovic, and that will be where most of the scoring they're missing from Bynum will come from. I don't think Kobe's going to do a whole lot different than what he has been doing.

BTW, what kind of math are you and Chris using to come up with the Lakers having eight or four extra home games? LA plays two "road" games against the Clippers each season, meaning they play 43 games at Staples Center each year, not 45 or 49. This isn't the 60's or 70's where teams play other teams in their conference or division eight or more times a year.

Anyway, I tend to think that teams in the Eastern Conference have an advantage in that they don't have to travel nearly as much as Western teams do simply because the cities are so much closer to one another. For instance, the Knicks could have a road trip to Toronto, Boston, New Jersey, Philly and Cleveland and probably not travel as far as a team going from Portland to Houston does (or from LA to Minneapolis, or Oakland to Memphis, etc).

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Austen -- I'm agreeing only because I just checked the shot chart and saw that Collins hit an 18-footer last night. That makes his six points seem twice as bad somehow.

Wild Yams -- Yes, I believe Kobe has a very real chance at winning his second straight MVP. Remember, the MVP selection is made by the media, and they seem to have developed a deeper appreciation of the Mamba over the past couple years, particularly after his successful stint in the Olympics and the way he's scaled back his game for the greater good of the Lakers this season. If, with Bynum out, Kobe's numbers go up (as they surely will) and the Lakers finish the season reasonably close to the Crabs in terms of wins and losses, it'll be a tossup. Now, to be sure, the Crabs have had their share of injury problems, particularly to Big Z and Delonte West, but the media seems to regularly overestimate Bynum's value. Not that he isn't important, but he's sometimes talked about like he's up there with Yao and Shaq, when in reality he's only been up there a handful of nights over his career. The point is, his loss FEELS bigger than Ilgauskas'. That gives Kobe a little edge.

As for location and traveling, the Eastern cities may be closer, but the weather is awful for the biggest chunk of the NBA season. I can tell you, personally, that the rigours of plane travel and staying in hotels is easier for me to endure, physically, than constant inclimate weather. And I'm not flying in cushy private jets or staying in posh hotels.

Blogger Ry said...
First the Bynum vid (over and over), then some chick nearly drowning, now this pic of CP3. As someone who's suffered from multiple groin (I have more than one, as well) injuries, I can safely attest that the look on his poor face expresses about .000000789% of the actual pain. Imagine feeling like your balls are about to explode. There, my friends, is the bawful truth about Ye Olde High Groin Pull.

Blogger Ry said...
Rashad McCants (how fitting) needs an honorary Word of the Day. That may have been the most absurd story I've read since Bush left office. Can everyone please stop using Facebook? Please? What a douche.

Blogger chris said...
Televised All-Star HORSE game.


What's next, a real-life All-Lacktion "bench to charity stripe" sprint?

Blogger Ry said...
Chris, why would a Lacktioneer be sprinting to the foul line? Granted, one could still post some serious lacktion if one were to hit a free throw or two, but isn't this against the spirit of lacktion? (And a potential detriment to my daily dose of laughter?) I suggest an All-Lacktion hack-off: sort of the like the dribbling portion of the Skills competition, except we set up dummies instead of pylons. Lacktioneers would try to hack as many in as little time possible. Let's consider this. Do we have the resources to set up an All-Lacktion weekend to mirror All-Star weekend? I would absolutely watch.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Ry- is that Hugo Chavez in a court jester's outfit? If so- awesome.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Speaking of the magic of fantasy basketball

I have both Gerald Wallace and Andrew Bynum on my team. And Deron Williams.

Blogger chris said...
Ry: You're right. (Yeah, a free throw made counts against lacktivity, but NOT a bricked charity shot!) Another idea for an all-lacktion weekend competition: similar in vein to the Home Run Derby of baseball, lacktion stars stand in the paint allowing other players to score on them at will, and the winner is the individual who demonstrates the least defensive effort while remaining at least 1 to 2 feet away from the attacking player. Hey, that simulates quite a few realistic situations...

An airball contest could be fun too, especially if Sasha Vujacic is allowed to catch every shot.

Blogger chris said...
Sun Devil: Okay, so do you also have Jameer Nelson on your roster?

Blogger Ry said...
Sun Devil: It is indeed Chavez, but there's nothing in jest about it. He's dressed in the colors of the Venezuelan flag. What's less apparent is that the parrot on his shoulder is wearing a red beret as well. Also, considering your fantasy injured reserve, err, team ... check out this website: fmylife.com. Not only is it hilarious, but your story would be sure to get posted :)

Chris: Your ideas for All-Lacktion weekend (especially the airball competition) are far superior to mine.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I honestly can't wait to read what you have to say about Pop's decision to throw the game versus the Nuggets and basically flip the bird to Stern and the schedule makers.

Us Spurs fans don't know what to think, mostly...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
They used to televise H-O-R-S-E games during All-Star weekend. I remember seeing one on YouTube between Pistol Pete and the Iceman.