man love
Guess the AP photographers wanted a little man love...

The Orlando Magic: I suppose the Magicians deserve a golf clap for snapping their four-game losing streak and actually managing to score 100 points for a change...

...but the fact that they needed a 40-point fourth quarter and a 39-9 free throw advantage to hold off the Wizards Generals in Orlando isn't that much better than losing. In fact, I almost feel like I should lobby David Stern to put this one in the loss column in the season standings.

The Washington Wizards Generals: I won't have to lobby Stern to put check mark another defeat for the Generals tho'.

Said Washington coach Randy Witmann: "I told our guys, 'we can't stop playing as hard as we do.' We've got nine guys under rookie contracts. Right now they're not getting the respect. That'll come."

Rashard Lewis, who's deal is worth about 90 rookie contracts, added: "At the beginning of the season we'd always hang our heads. But recently we keep playing hard even when teams make runs. We don't give up until the end of the game ... We have to take baby steps and take it one day at a time."

In possibly related news, the Generals are now 4-18 on the year and 1-9 on the road.

Dwight Howard, quote machine: Regarding Orlando's losing streak: "It happens to everybody in the league and we just have to continue to remind ourselves that we're a good team and we're going to have rough patches. We just have to stay together and remember we can't allow anything to separate us."

Except for that trade you demanded, Dwight.

Larry Hughes: Now that the Magic have waived him, he's back out of the league. Where, frankly, he always belonged.

The Toronto Craptors: Not much you can really say about a 100-64 loss. Except...

But Craptors coach Dwane Casey had some things to say: "I told the team, 'for the rest of your basketball career, remember how this feels tonight. I can't remember getting beat by 40 and it's the worst taste you feel and that's something you don't want to forget." lost by 36, Dwane. And the worst taste you can feel?

Added Casey: "We are going to practice tomorrow. I mean there is no doubt about it after an exhibition like that. We owe it to the city of Toronto, our organization and ourselves."

You owe "committing Seppuku" to the city of Toronto, coach. You can get frisbees really cheap at Target. I'm just sayin'.

Bonus Bawful from ESPN Stats and Information: "The Raptors scored just 64 points in a 36-point loss to the Celtics. It's the 3rd time they've scored below 70 points this season (tied with the Magic for the most such games). The Bobcats also had an off night, scoring a season low 68 points in their worst loss in franchise history against the Trail Blazers. It marks the 10th and 11th time an NBA team has scored below 70 points this season. That occurred just 5 times all of last season."

The Charlotte Bobcraps: That's right: The Bobcraps were so bad in last night's 112-68 loss to the Frail Blazers that their ineptitude was mentioned by ESPN Stats and Information in another game's recap page. Now that, my friends, is bad.

And since we're on the subject, here's what ESPN Stats and Information included in the actual recrap, er, recap of the Charlotte-Portland game:

The Trail Blazers defeat the Bobcats by 44 points, its their largest margin of victory since November 17, 1997, when they defeated the Mavericks by 45 points. The 44-point win by the Trail Blazers is the largest margin of victory by a team this season. The previous high was a 40-point win by the Grizzlies over the Bulls on January 1st.

The 44-point loss by the Bobcats is the worst in their franchise history. Their previous worst was a 120-80 loss at the Nuggets back on March 2, 2011.
Ah. You've gotta love historic Bawfulness.

Said Gerald Henderson: "It gets to a point where it's just embarassasing, and you don't want to continue. So you just have to continue to play hard. I love to play this game, so it's more of a pride thing than anything."

Hard to have Bobcrap pride about now, so good luck with that, Gerald.

Meanwhile, Charlotte coach Paul Silas is blaming his team's epic crapitude on injuries to Corey "Bad Porn" Maggette and D.J. Augustin: "I don't have a full squad. That's the way I look at it. If I had a full squad and we were losing this way, it would be awful. But you take Aldridge and Wallace off their team and see what kind of team you'd have."

You're really going to play the Injury Card after losing to the Frail Blazers? Really, Paul?

The Detroit Pistons: How bad are the Pistons? Well, they lost to the Nyets, who were playing the second night of back-to-back games and dressed only eight players because of injuries to Brook Lopez, Mehmet Okur, Damion James and MarShon Brooks.


It could be worse, Avery. You could have 10-plus Pistons players.

The New Orleans Hornets: Believe it or not, they led by as many as 13 points and were down only 95-94 with a little over eight minutes to go...

...then one thing led to another and they were down by 20. They ended up losing 120-103.

Said Jarrett Jack: "It seems like we had the game in hand or had a rhythm to the game that was in our favor. To let them come back in the fashion and quick manner they did is just difficult."

Steve Nash, quote machine: On passing Kevin Johnson as the Suns all-time assist leader: "To be honest, it pales in comparison to getting the win. The things that really matter about (the record) is: One, to be up there with Kevin, who was a great, great player and deserves a lot of credit for what type of player he was. And then the other one, just I love the city and organization and to do it for the Suns is a real honor. But other than that I'm just glad the team got the win."


The Milwaukee Bucks: LeBron James outscored the Deer 24-23 in the first 12 minutes as the cHeat led 40-23 after one quarter. Miami cruised to an easy victory from there...

The Miami cHeat: ...wait, what?! The Bucks ended up winning? Yes. Yes they did. Milwaukee outscored the Floridians 58-37 in the second half. That 58 points is usually what the Bucks score in three quarters. If they're lucky.

The game was actually tied at 81 in the fourth quarter...then the Bucks went on a 17-1 run. Which begs the question: How does a team with LeBron, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh ever get outscored 17-1? Other than God finally answering my prayers. Now if only the Lord would answer the one about the earth opening up to swallow the cHeat.

Said cHeat coach Erik Spoelstra: "What that second half showed is we still have a long way to go as a ballclub just in terms of playing consistently. We were playing very good basketball in the first half. It's a fragile game. In this league it can go the other way quickly if you're not staying consistent to your identity."

Added Dwyane Wade: "I don't think we relaxed. They played well. Give them credit. I'm not taking anything away from the Bucks."

Brandon Jennings, quote machine: "Me and LeBron looked at each other. I said, '40?' He said, 'You've got 31, though.'"

Chris' Lacktion Ledger:

Bulls-Sixers: John Lucas transmitted a piece of masonry through the Comcast Tower and lost the rock once in 4:25 for a +2.

Generals-Magic: Chris Singleton proved to be the cure to Orlando's ailments, bricking thricely (including once from [downtown Orlando) in 12:57 and losing control of the rock twice for a +5!!! Hamady N'Diaye tossed turnips in 43 seconds for a non-celebratory Mario.

Craptors-Celtics: Solomon Alabi unwisely turned over the ball once in 4:34 to skate into the ledger with a +1 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Pistons-Nyets: Austin Daye went three for three on missed shots, also fouling in 11:20 for a +4. Ben Wallace inflated his bank account at the Trump Taj Mahal for a 5.3 trillion (316 seconds)!!!

El (Oh El) Heat-Bucks: Larry Sanders showed another episode of unproductivity tonight, negating a board with four fouls and a turnover in 7:45 for a celebratory 5:1 Voskuhl.

Pacers-Wolves: Lance Stephenson provided Indiana with three fouls and one brick in 15:17 that marked a +4 on the suck differential chart.

Rockets-Spurs: Houston's Luis Scola scoped out two field goals and three boards in 24:41, but had a rejection, five turnovers, and three fouls for an 8:7 Voskuhl.

Clippers-Jazz: Jamaal Tinsley improvised one piece of masonry in 7:03 for a +1, while fellow musician Jeremy Evans somehow garnered a board while in the Mushroom Kingdom for a mere 1.2 seconds for a SUPER MARIO!!!!


Anonymous KingKong said...
I think it's a bad sign that LeBron having a 24 point 1st quarter and only scoring 16 in the other 3 isn't surprising at all

Anonymous Naz said...
As a Heat fan I want to see this site going back to shitting all over the Lakers in every post

I'm a sad panda

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Funny thing about the Craptors? They're actually over-achieving, considering the level of talent on the team.

Captcha: haters. No joke.

Anonymous JJ said...
Naz, I'm not sure which came first, but I find it very interesting that cHeat are also referred to as Nazgul on this site and you're a Heat fan...

Blogger The Sports Hayes said...
I haven't been around Bawful due to a lack of internet, but I'm back now and I've been dying of laughter ever since. Thanks for keeping it going

Anonymous Naz said...
I think it's a good sign that Lebron isn't hogging the ball like Kobe or other stars and tries his best to get his team involved.

He finished the game with more than 40 points man, shut the fuck up already.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ Naz

So, does the Lebron Apologist/Nob Slobbering Club have a secret handshake or badges or something?

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Funny thing about the Craptors? They're actually over-achieving, considering the level of talent on the team.

Well come on, they were going to be better than the train wrecks in Charlotte and Washington that refer to themselves as "basketball teams". Barely. Sometimes.

I can't wait to see what stupid shit Bryan Colangelo does with our cap room in the offseason. You'd think he couldn't do worse than Hedo Turkey Glue, but with NBA GM's, when there's a will, there's a way!!

Anonymous Naz said...
JJ my nickname has been Naz for the last 10 years and I'm pretty sure that Nazgul nickname for the Heat is because everyone hates them and they're supposed to be the bad guys or something.

I just have to keep trying to remind everyone that it's LA teams we all need to hate on.

Anonymous Naz said...
@ Anonymous

Yeah it's the total opposite of the Lebron hater/miserable fuck club secret handshake so just do what you usually do but backwards

Anonymous Czernobog said...
@The Other Chris:

Look at our lineup. With Bargnani Sidelined and Valanciunas still in Europe, the Generals have about 5 times the talent we do.

The Bobcraps have a comparably sucky roster, but less than half as many wins.

I don't know what stupid shit Colangelo will do over the summer (presumably he'll wager on derozan becoming an NBA player, which may or may not happen but I won't hold my breath) but the fact remains that 7-16 is a much better record than I would've expected.

Anonymous nazgul said...
ohh look at these heat "fans" getting all butt-hurt after a loss to the ... bucks!! HAHA

Blogger Wormboy said...
@ Naz: Dude, stop while you're behind. Fanboy whining never plays well on this site. Or any site. Or in life, really.