The Late Kendrick Perkins: The only word for this is "wow." It's the closest I've come to seeing a man murdered in cold blood on live TV. I heard they're still scooping bits of Perkins out of the smoking crater left by Blake's dunk. On the bright side, Perk's family will save money, because they won't need a casket. There probably isn't enough left of him to fill a chum bucket.
By the way, no disrespect to LeBron's jam over John Lucas III, but slamming the ball over a 5'11" point guard with his back turned isn't as impressive as throwing it the hell down over a seven-foot tough guy center who's trying to stop you.
The Orlando Magic: The Philadelphia 76ers shot 37 percent from the field, missed 11 of their 15 three-point attempts, bricked nine free throws, and scored only 74 points. At home.
But they won anyway. 'Cause they were playing the Orlando Magic.
As Michael Ray Richardson would stay: The ship be sinking. The Magicians managed a feeble 69 points on 33 percent shooting. They also missed 12 free throws in the five-point defeat. If was their fifth loss in six games, a fail streak that includes a 93-67 setback to the godawful Hornets.
Meanwhile, Dwight Howard -- who went 6-for-17 from the field, 5-for-13 from the line, finished with a game-worst plus-minus of -14 and missed several shots down the stretch -- has been rippin' on his teammates while his trade demand lingers around the team like a stale fart.
Said Howard: "It's not the first time I've called them out. As a leader, you've got to do things that people don't like. People hate what they don't understand. My teammates understand why I said what I said. They all agree. It's not like, 'Oh, Dwight's wrong with what he said.' But that's with anything. My job is to challenge my teammates and challenge myself to go out and play every night."
Challenge NOT accepted, Dwight.
Added Howard: "We're still a great basketball team, we're just going through a tough stretch. That's it. There's no need for us to complain or point the finger or for anybody to panic. We're going to be fine."
Wait, Dwight. You called out your teammates. Isn't that the text book definition of finger pointing? And, hey, you're demanding to be traded and have essentially said you're not gonna re-sign with the team if you aren't traded.
The Washington Wizards Generals: After Derrick Rose lit his team up for a season-high 35 points -- including 13 points in the first quarter and then 15 points in the third as the Bulls built a 22-point lead -- Washington's Trevor Booker said: "Sometimes I caught myself spectating. Some of those shots were unbelievable."
The New Orleans Hornets: They let a 12-point lead become a 27-point deficit as the Heat caught fire (get it?!) from the field (55 percent shooting) and controlled the boards (39-25). So, naturally, New Orleans coach Monty Williams wanted to complain about the officiating.
Said Williams: "It's hard to play the kind of basketball that you need to play when you're not getting what you feel is a fair call at times. I thought our guys got beat up a little bit tonight going to the basket. ... Take nothing away from Miami. That is a championship-contending team. Their effort showed that tonight."
I dunno. I'm not saying the Heat didn't have a few calls and non-calls go their way. But when you fall behind by almost 30 points, it's more than just the officating.
The Houston Rockets: The Minnesota Timberwolves came into Houston and dropped a franchise record 42 third quarter points on the Rocketeers, which ended up being the NBA equivalent of a Game Over screen. Minny finished the game with 120 points on 58 percent shooting. Hands? Faces? Anyone?
Said Houston coach Kevin McHale: "It was just like we were sitting there and we could never find any kind of rhythm defensively. We never got many consecutive stops, we never really dug in and got things. Just felt like one of those games when we were stuck in the mud."
Huh. "Stuck in the mud" is probably the best way to describe the Rockets these days.
The Detroit Pistons: The Pissed-Ons are already the second-worst team in the NBA. Last night in Milwaukee, they were minus Ben Gordon (sore left shoulder), Charlie Villanueva (sore right ankle) and Will Bynum (strained right foot). So their 103-82 loss to the Bucks was only surprising in that they didn't lose by 30.
Lawrence Frank, quote machine: Regarding Mike Dunleavy Jr.'s 20 points: "Dunleavy was dominant."
I never, ever, ever thought I'd see those words strung together in English or any other language.
Mike Dunleavy Jr., quote machine: "In Vegas, I'm a blackjack guy. Numbers, they always come back. You can start off and be getting crushed by the house and losing all your money, but if you stick around the tables long enough, you'll make it back."
The Memphis Grizzlies: The Care Bears scored only 73 points (on 37 percent shooting) in a home loss to the Spurs. Throw in a 46-37 rebounding deficit (including 14-8 on the offensive glass) and their 17 turnovers, and you've got a team that's sucking.
Said Memphis coach Lionel Hollins: "Did you see effort out there? That's the problem. We're not working. First effort, second effort, third effort -- when we give effort, it's just for a few seconds, and then we let up."
Rudy Gay, quote machine: On finishing with 1 point on 0-for-7 shooting: "I don't think it was too much about what (the Spurs) did. It's about me finding the spots to make shots. I will take responsibility for that."
Bulls-Generals: Chris Singleton fouled and bricked twice each to earn +4 in 7:36.
Hornets-Heat: The ancient Juwan Howard fabulously bricked it up in 4 minutes, also taking a rejection and fouling for +3. Fellow South Beacher James Jones struck gold with a 3.7 trillion (3:44).
Spurs-Grizzlies: San Antonio's Cory Joseph fouled once in 26 seconds of Koopa hunting for +1 and a Mario.
Meanwhile, Josh Selby bricked once from the Sterick Building and also fouled in 7:57 for a +2.
Wolves-Rockets: Derrick Williams fouled, bricked, and had a rejection for a +3 in 6:46, and fellow puppy Brad Miller scrapped out a treasure worth 1.7 trillion (101 seconds)!
Frail Blazers-Jazz: Elliot Williams got a Game Boy as a gift from Paul Allen, spending 24 seconds blowing dust off the cartridge for a Mario.
Thunder-Clippers: Nazr Mohammed made two blocks in 5:46, but only managed a turnover otherwise in a non-lacktive 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Meanwhile, 79 seconds was all that was needed for Donald Sterling to gain two new real estate speculators (Trey Thompkins and Solomon Jones with 1.3 trillion each) on his roster, and one suck differential (+1 via brick for Eric Bledsoe)!