Why do pictures of Pacers fans always leave me feeling depressed?

Footbawful! Only one end zone will be used at Wrigley Field for tomorrow night's Northwestern/Illinois football game. Here are the rules that will be followed to accomodate such a ridiculous effort. Big Ten Commissioner James E. Delany explained: “Both Illinois and Northwestern did significant due diligence over the past 18 months, but after seeing the actual layout of the field, all parties felt that it was appropriate to adjust the rules to further enhance the safety of our student-athletes." Well, apparently their due diligence wasn't significant enough! What did they do? Forego actually measuring stuff out and drawing up a blueprint or a CAD model? I mean, I'm sure it was cheaper to just have some guy walk onto the field and go "yeah, this looks like it'll fit," but there's got to be a better due diligence strategy than that.
Some of the best Twitter reactions to this news:
espn_page2: This seems... less than ideal.
bruce_arthur: First rule of Northwestern-Illinois game: Nobody throw any interceptions! Second rule: Nobody fumble! Third rule: No blocked kicks! #christ
bomani_jones: so i understand: it actually took someone PUTTING THE GOALPOST ON THE BRICK WALL to see what a bad idea this was?
bomani_jones: i also imagine that field, someone making a horrified face, and an engineer saying, "wait, you don't like it?"
espn_page2: Maybe Northwestern-Illinois can be like old-school video games, where when a player intercepts a pass, the whole field spins around.
HardyVision: Big deal, Ron Zook's played plenty of games where there only was scoring in 1 endzone...

Of course, this isn't the only epic fail seen this week in Chicago. Behold:

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Suns Magic Basketball
"I really missed seeing you go 0-for-8 from the field, Hedo!"

Clippers Pacers Basketball
You already saw this picture like eighty times in the WOTN comic, but damnit, it's worth seeing again
Also, we really need to start a pool on "When will VDN be fired?"

Nuggets Trail Blazers basketball
Aww man, why did I have to go and waste my Saturday Night Fever reference on last night's post?


The rest of the Suns were taking it from behind last night, might as well do it to Josh Childress as well

Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Thunder at Celtics, ESPN, 7pm: Per Lisa Salters: "Kevin Durant tells me he is 50-50 for tonite. Turned his left ankle WED v. Houston. MRI yesterday negative." And suddenly this game threatened to become 800% less interesting.

Bulls at Mavericks, ESPN, 9:30pm: The Circus Trip continues! You know you want to watch.

All The Other Friday Games:
Bucks at 76ers, 7pm: This game on the other hand... you know you don't want to watch.

Grizzlies at Wizards Generals, 7pm: John Wall's ankle can't heal fast enough for the poor Generals. You never want Gilbert Arenas leading you into battle.

Rockets at Craptors, 7pm: Speaking of injuries, it sounds like Yao Ming will be out at least another two weeks. So that means it'll be three weeks until he begins his next stint on the injured list.

Bobcraps at Heat, 7:30pm: From what I gather, the Heat will need the guys at The Basketball Jones to make a smack video about Chris Bosh every gameday to motivate him. Good luck with that.

Cavaliers at Hornets, 8pm: Food for thought: the Cavaliers bench has been leading the league in bench scoring at 44 ppg. Maybe all the stuff about LeBron never having a good supporting cast was just a tiny bit overblown?

Lakers at Timberwolves, 8pm: And thus ends the miraculous two-game stretch of Darko not playing like Darko.

Spurs at Jazz, 9pm: Anyone else excited to see Tony Parker the next few games? I'm going to keep an eye out for pictures of him trying to seduce women in the stands, particularly in the wives and girlfriends section.

Nyets at Kings, 10pm: The Nyets' defense has been surprisingly good. Unfortunately, their offense is offensively horrible. They must be overjoyed to get a chance to play against the Purple Paupers to help turn things around!

Bricks at Warriors, 10:30pm: _efense! (clap clap) _efense! (clap clap) Also, this video cracks me the hell up.

* * *

Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Mavericks at Hawks, NBA TV, 8pm: Interesting stats... Dallas is not a terribly high scoring offense (23rd in the league at 97.3PPG), but they are 6th in the league in assists (22.7 APG). By the numbers, that is efficient, quality ball movement. However, I haven't actually sat down and watched a Mavs game yet this year. Can anyone confirm?

All The Other Saturday Games:
Magic at Pacers, 7pm: Well, at least we have an entertaining coach to make this game interesting. (Thank you, Stan Van Gundy) Speaking of entertaining coaches, why was I unaware of this coach until after he retired? This guy is awesome:
(via Deadspin)

Suns at Bobcraps, 7pm: Oh please please please tell me Nash will be healthy for this game. I don't think I could stand another embarrassing loss right now.

Heat at Grizzlies, 8pm: Do people in Tennessee really even care about the Grizzlies? (I suppose I could drive the 4 hours to Memphis to find out, but why???) College sports are huge in this general area, however, so I assume this would be of bigger news to Tennessee basketball fans: Bruce Pearl has been suspended for the first 8 SEC games of Tennessee's season. All because he had some kid over for a barbeque. (Gross oversimplifcation, but just go with it) All I can say is that better damn well have been one awesome barbeque. If they smoked some ribs and a whole pork shoulder or something, it's totally worth it.

Thunder at Bucks, 8:30pm: Good time for the Bucks to catch the Thunder. They'll be on the second night of a back-to-back (both road games) after a game against the Celtics, not to mention Durant isn't 100%. If they have anything resembling offense, now would be a good time to prove it.

Cavaliers at Spurs, 8:30pm: Cleveland is pretty awful at rebounding at the moment (28th in the NBA). Have fun, Tim Duncan, DeJuan Blair, and Antonio McDyess!

Nyets at Nuggets, 9pm: Anyone else just not that interested in seeing Melo go through the motions like a prostitute on her fourth john of the day?

Jazz at Frail Blazers, 10pm: Just FYI Jazz fans, Baron Davis has got this shit under control. Great scott!

* * *

Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Hornets at Kings, NBA TV, 6pm: According to Bill Simmons, "...I never realized how much Cousins would struggle to stay on the court. Through nine games: 196 minutes, 40 fouls. That's 9.8 fouls per 48 minutes, which (if it held) would be the highest number for anyone averaging 16-plus minutes since Danny Fortson's legendary 12.0 in 2005." Greg Oden might be hurt, but his foul-the-bejesus-out-of-everyone spirit lives on.

All The Other Sunday Games:
Celtics at Craptors, 1pm: Rondo's going to be handing out more dimes than the people passing by the Salvation Army bucket going into the grocery store.

Wizards Generals at Pistons, 6pm: Just go Google Image Search "facepalm" and save me the trouble.

Warriors at Lakers, 9:30pm: While I am pleasantly surprised to see the Warriors are actually halfway good this year, I have to admit... it's really a bummer to go through the game pictures each day and not have guaranteed comedy from pictures of Don Nelson coaching.

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Anonymous Toby said...
The Mavs are at their best when they move the ball and push the tempo, despite being an older team. Their ability to do this so far this season, comes from their much improved defensive play, thanks in large part to Tyson Chandler. Things get ugly when they rely solely on isolation plays for Dirk or Caron Butler stops the flow with numerous 20ft. bricks early in the shot clock.
So, yes they are passing the ball significantly better than last year.

Blogger Dick Sullivan said...
Apropos Mavs efficiency, four of our regular rotation players are shooting above 50% from the field. Imagine what our efficiency would be like if Caron Butler wasn't shooting 38%.

Blogger Dick Sullivan said...
Make that five players in Mavs' regular rotation.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Like a Bosh," in case it hasn't already been posted:


Anonymous Anonymous said...
Please mention Chalmers on the ballot and Millsap not. It still freaks me out...

Anonymous Czernobog said...
I love Milsap, but the ballot thing is a non-issue. Either Pau or Scola should be starting for the west at PF. All the other names are filler.

Blogger Jason D said...
You know the Lakers miss Bynum (or Ratliff, or any real centre) when they allow Darko freakin' Milicic to get a double-double in the FIRST HALF!!! Looks like it could be a career night for Darko!

But, to emphasise just how bad the Wolves are, they're still down by 10 at the half.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
double double from darko at the half vs the lakers!! what the hell is going on!!

Blogger Dan B. said...
A first half double-double??? Well, I reverse stat cursed the shit out of Darko I suppose.

Anonymous Sorbo said...
WTF Manna from Heaven?

Also, OKC may pull the upset of the night. Now that I've written that, they will lose...or will they, now that I've written that. My head hurts with the reverse-reverse stat cursing.

Blogger Jason D said...
I think Love and Darko have switched bodies tonight. That's the only way I can explain whats going on...

Anonymous nightdreamer said...
Did any of you endure the Oklahoma-Boston game?

I say "endure" because that was the only possible verb for any viewers of that game, unless you enjoy watching a team go the remaining 5 minutes without a single field goal, and yet winning.

What the hell happened there Boston?!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Jason D - Love couldn't get 6 blocks even if the basketball was chocolate cake scented.

Blogger Jason D said...
You know your team sucks when you manage to hold Kobe to 8-27 shooting and still manage to lose by 17. Although, to be fair, letting Matt Barnes go 7-7 from the floor and 5-5 from 3 doesn't help.

Blogger Jason D said...

Darko usually can't score 23 points and grab 16 rebounds even if there's nobody else on the court, so my theory is still plausible!

Blogger Solieyu said...
Clutch three gametime seconds of lacktion by Wallace as the Bobcats try to come back on the Heat with a little over a minute to play according to the MSN play by play:

1:07 D Brown - Foul
1:07 C Bosh - Makes 2 Freebies
1:04 G Wallace - Foul
1:04 G Wallace - 6th Foul
1:04 G Wallace - 2nd Tech, ejected
1:04 L James - Freebie.

Yes, he got a tech AFTER fouling out. Miami gets a WOTN for blowing another huge lead. Seriously, where's the killer instinct here? I'm somewhat reminded of the Celtics.

Speaking of which, Durant-less, Green-less Thunder miss their last 17 shots. And win. Granted, Rondo and Pierce did get hurt, but Shuttleworth's jumpshot apparently decided to hit the night life after that Miami win and is still recovering from the hangover. Big Baby, a 91% free throw shooter, shanked three freebies in the decisive minutes.

And Darko Millicic. What. The. Hell. 23 points, 16 rebounds, 5 assists. I am speechless. This is atleast 10x as surprising as Zach Randolph from last year. Maybe even 10 times 10 times as surprising. What's next, Oden plays 82 games next season? The Nyets actually make the playoffs? Clippers go on a two game win streak?

Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice, and not a lady.

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
Darko's line for tonight:
FG FT O-Rb T-Rb Ast Blk Stl Pts
10-18 3-3 6 16 5 6 2 23

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Jason D - In a contest between pilloy soft Euros, if one guy is notorious for not wanting to be marshmellowier, then anything is possible.

Also Darko's scored 20+ 4 times in his career and grabbed 16 boards twice before. Kevin Love has recorded 6 blocks...never. Kevin Love has recorded 4 blocks once, against the Knicks of course.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
can someone please explain what the hell happened in the lakers/twolves game?

barnes has 24 points on 7 shots? how is that possible?

kevin love has 0 points, 7 rebounds in 34 minutes...
while beasley goes for 25 and 10...
not to mention darko freaking milicic has 23 points, 16 boards, 6 blocks, 5 assists, and 2 steals


Blogger Jason D said...

Yea, I'm not trying to say Love can get 6 blocks (unless he plays the Knicks). I'm trying trying to think of any reason at all to explain Darko's game, and body switching seems like a better explanation to a Lakers fan than having your team be responsible for letting Darko have the best game of his career (I assume). That's a fact nobody wants to be the owner of.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I want to see these Darko highlights. All his blocks came in the first half. He should've gotten the triple double

Anonymous JJ said...
From NBA.com: "Lamar was embarrassed because of the last performance (Love had 23 points and 24 rebounds ten days ago). I told him I know why Love made the USA Team, it was so he could play against you every day. So he took that to heart and he went out there with a purpose tonight." -- Phil Jackson Lamar Odom's defensive performance on Kevin Love.

I wonder Phil would have said this even if Love had a decent game. Probably not. Anyway, I know Kevin Love doesn't have the greatest offensive arsenals, but 0-7 in 34:07? Ouch. Darko must be rubbing off on him.

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
Barnes is a perfect fit for the triangle. He knows how to space himself, he's a decent spot-up shooter and great at cutting to the basket, and Steve Blake and the Laker bigs are excellent passers.

Odom was conscious of Love's presence all night and blocked out very well. Every time Love tried to shoot near the basket, either Odom or Gasol contested the shot.

Beasley played well, but he had to work hard for that 25 and 10.

Gasol obviously doesn't take Darko seriously, and the big Slav had a pulse tonight. He got a layup in the first minute of the game and stayed confident on both offense and defense for the rest of the game. He's a mobile big man and a legitimate 7-footer. His problem has been his lack of a motor, a bad attitude, and a lack of confidence. Minnesota is obviously a good situation for him.

Blogger Jon Schweppe said...
I watched the T-Wolves/Lakers game.

One of my favorite moments: Love ripping a rebound from Darko's hands late in the 2nd quarter and Darko getting pretty pissed.

LA shot pretty well, Minnesota got a LOT of open 3's that just didn't drop tonight. That was basically the difference.

Kevin Love was just awful tonight. He was a complete non-factor. Meanwhile, Darko was a beast for the third straight game... MANNA!

Beasley was getting doubled constantly, and still put up 25/10... by the end of the season we're going to be calling him one of the top 15-20 talents in the league.

Anonymous ZooTiger said...

Where's Waldo.........Find the ball!!

Anonymous ZooTiger said...

Lets see if AnacondaHL remembers this?

Anonymous ZooTiger said...

Should of stuck with his talents in football...

Blogger stephanie g said...
During the GSW-Knicks game the ball got stuck on top of the shot clock and remained there until halftime:


Don't think I ever saw that one before.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
On Magic - Pacers: You have no idea what a boon Stan Van Gundy is as a Magic fan. Even Magic blowouts can be fun to watch because it becomes a game of "who is SVG going to yell at for blowing a rotation / not diving for a loose ball while his team is up by 20+ points."

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Jon Schweppe - In one short bit of another Minny game I saw this season, I actually saw Kevin Love box out Darko, leaving his man a good 8 ft away.

ZooTiger - Ahahaha wife beater bleached.

BTW, here's the video clip of last night's Knicks ball stuck ontop of the shot clock last night, where it stayed until halftime. The one blocking the shot? STAT of course.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
oops, beaten like a Utah opponent!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Fine, have this: Taj Gibson face!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think that the correct term for the way the Bobcats play, is that they play like SH*T! Instead of calling them Bobcraps, I think they should be called the Bobshats.

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
@Anaconda - "n a contest between pillowy soft Euros, if one guy is notorious for not wanting to be marshmellowier, then anything is possible."

Els dos anells a les mans suaus dir ves a la merda - Pau G.


Anonymous Anonymous said...
was anyone else rooting for Darko to get 3 more steals so he could get the infamous 5x5 and I could win a bar bet for the rest of my life

Blogger Jason D said...
So,um, yea. Miami lost to Memphis. Awesome. On a last second shot by Rudy Gay no less, double awesome.

On a completely different note, Phoenix really miss Nash. Like, desperately miss him. They let the Bobcats score 123 points (which has to be a franchsie record right?) and allowed Stephen Jackson to get a triple-double, the first in franchise history!!

Anonymous kazam92 said...
This team keeps disappointing me somehow. No Wade but still.

I agree we're likely not a title team this year, but when other ANALysts tell me this, I want to beat the shit out of them

Anonymous Aaron said...
Hollinger still ranks miami as number 1.

we need to see a correlation plot between his stupid ranking and miami's actual ranking (record-wise).

Anonymous Sorbo said...
We're halfway through the Countdown to Failure. I hope they lose No. 11 against the Cavs (Dec. 2, Dec. 15, or Jan. 31, Mar. 29).

This video has nothing to do with anything, I just thought it was the funniest shit I've seen in a long time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFIQIpC5_wY

Anonymous jollyjazzfan said...
watching the portland jazz game, the refs are totally giving it to portland in the 3rd. they just called a tech on the jazz on some random dude sitting on the floor yelling stuff.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Feel good losses don't feel very good.

Anonymous Mike G said...
Blake Griffin just supermaned Timofey Mozgov. Simply awesome.

Anonymous Aaron said...
i just realized that Miami has lost ever single close game this season, right? Including the one they couldn't hold out the Jazz. Is this something ESPN should write a blog on its Heat Index? Of course not! They don't talk about these things.

Blogger Brigadier Ketchup said...
Sorbo, that was awesome. Thanks.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Blake Griffin is an unholy beast paying for his past sins by toiling away in the deepest pits of hell


Anonymous Mike G said...
This gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.


Anonymous Aaron said...

“You don’t want anything easy, especially as a professional athlete; nothing is easy,” said James, who had 29 points and 11 assists.

To quote Eric Cartman, "What THE Fuck!" Is this the whole reason he had "The Decision" to go to South Beach????

Anonymous Aaron said...
I also wanted to copy and paste this from LeDouche:

“This wasn’t something I thought was easy … I would rather it not be easy because you have to go through growing pains to be great at the end when you face those challenges you had early in the year. The easy button is not for us.”

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
If you haven't watched Griffin's dunks from his 44-15-7 against the Knicks, click this and be sure to look at Ed Malloy in the background flinch on the Mozgov dunk.

Blogger Dan B. said...
AnacondaHL -- Damn. Impressive.

Anonymous Arouet said...
Let's just say Hollinger's ranking system does MUCH better the larger the sample size and leave it at that.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
No raptor mascot video for you this weekend, folks. 3 in a row, baby.

C'mon, you gotta let me enjoy this while it lasts.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Iverson scored 2 points (1/6) had 0 assists, and grabbed 4 rebounds in his team's loss in the Turkish league tonight.


Today just keeps getting better and better.

Anonymous Mike Mai said...
couple video i wanted to share:

this is the only time i'm jealous that i'm not in dallas http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekZ38AGgHT4

and the news on tony parker...animated http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvVwyD9g47w

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Mighty dinos beat the Celtics!! Hoo-ah!! Showing some signs of life up here in the Great White North, eh? I can't wait until I go see them on Wednesday and they crap the bed against the Suxers. We all know it's a coming.

Blogger KaushalORKartik said...
Please Please Please include this awesome/crazy quote from Rudy Gay in your post, Basketbawful. Straight from the AP recap of the Grizzlies-Heat Game:

“I don’t care if James Naismith was guarding me, which would be scary because he’s dead,” Gay said. “I really don’t care who’s guarding me to be honest with you.”

Anonymous Benito Chiba said...
Ha ha ha, the Craptors beat your beloved Celtics.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Funny how all the media talks about with Boston is Pierce/Garnett/Allen, yet as soon as they lose Rajon Rondo for a couple games, the team falls apart and loses to goddamn Toronto...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
man the photos from the craps-celtics are a comedy goldmin for worst of the weekend in pictures.

Behold: Ball

Who says Shaq can't get up anymore?

Who says Andrea Bargnani's afraid of a little contact?

This poor lady (right) just could not be consoled after her husband was tragically crushed by Baby's fat ass:

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Ugh, Hornets vs Kings is horrible... Hornets are atm 25/80 from the field, Kings 27/67.
I wish Ash would gouge out my eyes like he did with the sister possessed zombie in The Evil Dead, but because I couldn't find a video of that on Youtube, here's the next best thing that I want to happen to my eyes

Blogger draftaraujo said...
Was at the raps/celts game today, even though we won, I had a "god i hate this organization" moment, davis goes down after some contact,and tv obviously goes to break so of course its time for a contest. So there is this contest where guys have to make layups to win some crap gift cards, but davis is down in the paint with med staff around him so they have to run around davis to make layups for a gift card, *facepalm*

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Was at the raps/celts game today, even though we won, I had a "god i hate this organization" moment, davis goes down after some contact,and tv obviously goes to break so of course its time for a contest. So there is this contest where guys have to make layups to win some crap gift cards, but davis is down in the paint with med staff around him so they have to run around davis to make layups for a gift card, *facepalm*

That's freaking hilarious. Especially because it's the Celts, who are a bunch of assholes. And because it's Davis, who just can't help being a red-headed stepchild.

On a different topic - Holy hell, the Lakers are giving the Mopeds a serious what-for.

Anonymous Shiv said...
Delonte West, unintentionally dirty quote-machine: "I think my size bothered him."

Blogger Benway said...

So wait, yr a Heat fan? Like you root for the Heat to win? What is that like? How does that feel exactly?
I'm not trying to be sarcastic or condescending, I really want to know: what is that like? How does it feel to be you?

/presuming you didn't just take yr talents to south beach recently, and that you have been a longtime Heat fan for X amount of years
//still baffled

Blogger Murcy said...

why are you baffled? I personally supported the Heat since Wade joined them (I just love that player), and it has never been hard for me (not even during the seasons when the Heat won about 18 combined games). Of course I personally have my little pet theory that most of the hate directed towards the heat this year by other, non-cleveland fans is mostly out of jealousy, so I might not be sane.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
@Murcy: Don't overlook the hatred many of us simply feel towards LeBron. I honestly couldn't care less about the rest of 'em (Except for that lazy bastard Arroyo to some extent) but I just really want "chosen 1" to fail.