shaq ball
Reminds me of the time my grandpa tried to get out of a bean bag.

Greg Oden: Out for the season. Again. I haven't been this not surprised since M. Night Shyamalan's last twist ending.

Here's the e-mail Dan B. sent me about Oden. Pretty much sums it all up:

Seriously, what the f**k is wrong with Greg Oden's body??? Does his cock weigh that much that it's putting strain on his lower body and destroying his knees??? It's just getting sad at this point. Dude's played 82 TOTAL games over two partial seasons in his career, and now he's managed to need microfracture surgery on the knee that DIDN'T already have microfracture surgery. I almost want to fly to Portland to just give the poor guy a hug at this point.
Greg -- and Blazers fans everywhere -- this is for you:

hug

Eva Longoria: Wait, wait, wait. She wants spousal support? But...but...she's the second-highest paid Latino on television! In all seriousness, Eva only made about $12 million last year. And before you get all snarky, yes, she might make a lot of money, but she also spends a lot of money. Patrick Ewing knows what I'm talking about.

Tony Parker: I think we can all agree that the real loser in this situation is poor Brent Barry. That's some serious superdickery right there, Tony.

I mean, the dude is schtupping Eva freaking Longoria and he has to spray his foul seed all over Barry's wife too? It reminds me of this guy I used to work with at the Kokomo Parks and Recreation Department, Bruce McDonald, the same guy who once told me "pussy ain't got no face." Anyway, ol' Brucie, he once offered that, "For every beautiful woman you see, there's some guy who's tired of fucking her."

I guess Bruce was right. On the latter point. Just to be clear.

Update! Actually, I've changed my mind. This is all Brent Barry's fault for marrying somebody way too hot for him. Right, Jimmy Soul?


The Chicago Bulls: It's hard to believe, but with 2:53 left in the second quarter, Kyle Korver and Omer Asik hooked up on a sweet pick and roll play that looked like something out of an instructional video. Korver delivered a perfect pass, Asik dunked the ball with authori-tah, and the Bulls built a nearly inconceivable 45-28 lead.

Then everything went to shit. For the Bulls anyway.

The Spurs ripped off a 9-2 run to close out the half, reducing the Bulls lead to 10. That led to a napalm storm in the third quarter, during which San Antonio outscored the Windy City Stags 37-12. During that 12 minutes, the Spurs shot 15-for-21 while the Bulls went 6-for-23.

Said Derrick Rose: "Everything went cold. And I felt as though all happiness had gone from the world. And I remembered: dreadful things."

The Phoenix Suns: Allow me to put it like this:


As for Chris Bosh, can we all just assume this was him giving a big old middle finger to The Basketball Jones?

Bonus meaningful stat: Steve Nash had 2 assists. According to the AP recap, the last time he had only a duo of dimes was December 29, 2008, against the Oklahoma City Thunder. That was 141 games ago. According to STATS LLC., it was only the ninth time in 737 games where Nash played at least 29 minutes and failed to get more than two assists. So I guess it will in fact take more than "having an elite point guard" to win every game against the Heat.

Update! Joel Anthony: This super epic fail is why Basketbawful reader kazam92 hates him. Well...one of the reasons.


The Philadelphia 76ers: When you're a 2-9 team, there aren't too many reasons to get excited. But getting a home game against another 2-9 team like the Craptors should probably qualify. So naturally the Andre Iguodala-less Sixers came out and shot 36 percent as a team while giving up a season-high 30 points to Andrea Bargnani and a career-high 25 to Sonny Weems.

In a matchup of crappy crap teams, Philly was the King of Crap.

Said Evan Turner: "We've got to get it together. Sometimes you try to trust each other, but sometimes you just have to play without thinking."

Actually, Evan, you guys seem to have mastered playing without thinking.

Bonus bawful stat: The teams combined to shoot 2-for-20 from downtown, 1-for-8 for the Sixers and 2-for-12 for the Craptors.

Bonus totally meaningless stat: From the AP game notes: "Bargnani's 3-pointer in the first quarter helped extend Toronto's streak to 954 consecutive games with at least one shot converted from beyond the arc. The Raptors started the streak on Feb. 26, 1999."

Doug Collins, coach of the year candidate: "In the tougher games, we've found it tough sledding to get a hoop."

Reggie Evans, quote machine: "I didn't think we had respect for the game against Washington. A lot of peers paved the way for us in this league. We got an F [on Tuesday] night. I think we got a much higher grade here and played with the type of energy we need to be successful."

The Washington Wizards Generals: The Generals were on prop duty last night against, standing around like a bunch of cardboard cutouts while the Celtics shot nearly 66 percent from the field and built a 37-point lead on their way to a 114-83 victory.

Key stat: Boston had a 32-12 edge in assists. Hitting shots will do that for a team. Not that the Generals would know...they hit only 38 percent of their field goal attempts. Still, it's notable since Washington had at least 25 assists in their previous five games.

Maybe it was because the Generals were without John Wall and Yi Jianlian?

Said Flip Saunders: "We didn't play them last night and we won. Not much to say."

I guess not.

Of course, then Saunders added: "I told our guys, 'They reached right into our chest and just took away our will.' We just couldn't do anything."

Gilbert Arenas, quote machine: "These are the games when you're on the playground and you beat somebody up, and then the real bully comes and beats you up. We played great last night...and then the big fish came and whooped us up."

The Detroit Pistons: Five minutes. Actually, four minutes and 59 seconds. That's how far into the game Rip Hamilton made it before fouling Kobe Bryant on a jump shot and then getting an automatic ejection after receiving double technicals for...well, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure. As the AP recap put it: "Hamilton didn't appear too demonstrative, but he must have said something because official Derrick Stafford gave him two quick technical fouls before Bryant even stepped to the free-throw line."

Said Kobe: "I just heard two quick whistles, and that was it. I really wasn't sure what happened."

Welcome to the zero-tolerance NBA, Rip. It's FANtastic.

Said Detroit coach John Kuester: "Before you blink an eye, Rip's gone and we have to make some adjustments. He's a great player, and he's a competitor who wants to play his best against the best."

Instead, the Pissed-ons played their worst against the best. Detroit shot 39 percent from the field and fell behind by 27 before the Lakers cruised in for a 103-90 win that never felt nearly as close as the final score makes it look. Mostly 'cause L.A. hit 57 percent in the first half while building a 59-45 lead. Then they scored the first seven points of the third quarter to go up 66-45 and the slaughter rule kicked in.

Detroit "fans": There are plenty of things you expect to hear in Detroit. Gun shots. Weeping. Hopeless cries of anguish and despair. Satan laughing. But "M-V-P!" chants for Kobe Bryant? Really?

Said Kuester: "I'm not going to lie to you. I'm disappointed. There were a lot of their fans here tonight. I was here in 2004, and I know what the Detroit fans are like. Those weren't our fans."

Joe Dumars: I flipped to this game in the third quarter and all I could think was: A few years ago, everybody thought Joe Dumars was a genuis and Lakers fans wanted to see Mitch Kupchak's head on a stick. Funny, huh?

Ben Wallace, Attourney At Law: Given Big Ben's post-NBA aspirations, I'm guessing he objected to Rip's double techs. No, no, no. He strenuously objected.

Bonus video courtesy of Basketbawful reader BenWallaceAttourneyAtLaw:



And again:


The Los Angeles Clippers: Let's see: The Timberpoops shot 53 percent from the field and went 10-for-19 from beyond the arc. They scored 26 points off 17 Clippers turnovers. Kevin Love had another huge game with 24 points and 14 boards. Michael Beastly netted 33 points and knocked down the game-winner with 2.3 seconds left.

And Dark Milicic -- see how I removed the "o" from his name? -- finished with 11 points on 5-for-6 shooting.

Yes indeedy do: The Clippers (1-11) are who we thought they were.

Said Eric Gordon: "This whole year we're just beating ourselves. At least seven out of these 11 games we've been right there, and we're just beating ourselves. We're right there. We've been in this situation seven, eight times and we just let them off the hook."

In all fairness to The Other L.A. Team, they are without Chris Kaveman, B-Doodie and Randy Foye. So, you know, excuse, excuse, excuse.

Vinny Del Negro, coach of the year candidate, Part 1: Get ready for it.

"The guys are battling, fighting. If you look at it statistically we're doing some good things, but the turnovers really hurt us, and their field-goal percentage, we've got to do a better job there."

[checks stats]

[double-checks stats]

Uhm, Vinny?

Vinny Del Negro, coach of the year candidate, Part 2: "There's nothing you can do but keep grinding it out, get ready for tomorrow and try to get some of the troops back, get Chris and Baron and Randy back and see if that can give us a little bit of a boost. Our young guys are getting a lot of experience now, and that's a positive thing. We definitely need to get a win here, but if we keep battling like we did tonight and sharpen some things up we'll have some opportunities."

I wonder if Vinny ever gets that "running in a hamster wheel" feeling?

The Houston Rockets: Okay, so Thunder coach Scott Brooks promised his team they could have a day off if they notched at least 20 assists against the Rockets. Well, they went out and dished out a season-high 26 assists to go with a season-low nine turnovers, the ninth of which was committed while purposely letting the shot clock run out in the final seconds.

That's how Brooks motivated his team. Not with "go out and beat this credible threat of a team," but with "go out and meet some random statistical measure."

It's been that kind of season for the Rockets (3-8). Who, to be fair, are still Aaron Brook-less and Yao Ming-less and were playing in Oklahoma City on the second night of back-to-back games after losing a close one at home to the Bulls.

Said Shane Battier: "We just have to figure it out. We've got to grind it out right now."

Grind it out? Has Shane been talking to VDN?

The New Jersey Nyets: Huh. So the Jazz were outrebounded 57-44 and shot 40 percent from the field and 1-for-12 from downtown...

...and won by 10? Well, we already know the Clippers lost to the Timberwolves, so Utah must have beaten the Nyets. Know what I'm sayin'?

Avery Johnson, quote machine: "OUR TEAM, WE'RE NOT AT A POINT RIGHT NOW MENTALLY WHERE WE REALLY BELIEVE DEEP DOWN IN OUR GUT THAT WE CAN WIN THESE GAMES. WHEN WE GET THERE, WE'LL START BEATING AN ORLANDO AT HOME. WE'LL MAYBE GET US A WIN AGAINST A REALLY GOOD UTAH TEAM ON THE ROAD."

Andre Kirilenko, quote machine: "In the perfect game, everybody scores lots of points."

Don't laugh. Kirilenko knows a thing or two about perfect situations.

The Sacramento Kings: You know how in horror movies there's almost always one character that you really like even though they're kind of pathetic. And when they last a little longer than expected, you start to kinda hope that maybe, just maybe, they won't end up shoved into the wood chipper or slowly cut in half with a butter knife. And then when they have a party horn shoved into their eye socket, and disappointed and wigged out as you are, you have to admit to yourself you knew it was going to happen. It was only a matter of time.

Well, yeah. Hi, Purple Paupers.

Paul Westphal, coach of the year candidate: "We mixed in some excellent basketball with some sub-sixth grade basketball. It was indescribably bad. It's really hard to find any middle ground for us. We're looking for some consistency and it didn't happen tonight."

Amar''''''e Stoudemire, quote machine: "We have to get used to this feeling. Tonight was a night where we showed progress from the Denver game. We played well in that game. Tonight we carried it over. We have to keep this swagger and this mentality and go on to the next one."

Memo to STAT: You beat the f**king KINGS, dude. They're 3-7 on the year and only 1-5 at home. Beating them does not give you swagger. Unless you're talking about the drunken kind of swagger where you end up face down in an alley throwing up all over yourself.

Chris's Lacktion Report:

Suns-Heat: Earl Barron earned one rebound in 9:15, only to foul thricely for a 3:1 Voskuhl.

Raptors-Sixers: Philadelphia's Jason Kapono collected a cool 5.35 trillion (5:21).

Lakers-Pistons: In the highly unanticipated rematch of the 1988 NBA Finals, Luke Walton lost the rock once and threw up a brick in 2:10 for a +2 suck differential.

Clippers-Wolves: Brian Cook flash-baked a toadstool in 2 seconds for a Super Mario, while Kosta Koufos canceled out a rebound in 5:17 with a brick, giveaway, and two fouls for a 3:1 Voskuhl.

Mavs-Hornets: Brian Cardinal can now take over Mark Cuban's shift at the local Dairy Queen, after earning a 2.85 trillion (2:51)! Pops Mensah-Bonsu fathered a foul while chasing fire flowers in 15 seconds, earning a +1 in a Mario.

Rockets-Thunder: Royal Ivey will be able to refurbish his throne, after a 2.8 trillion for Oklahoma City (2:47)!

Nyets-Jazz: New Jersey's Terrence Williams shopped at the ZCMI Center and procured a pair of bricks in 6:11 for a +2.

Bulls-Spurs: Brian Scalabrine scraped away a board in 9:04 with two fouls for a 2:1 Voskuhl, while Danny Green (26 seconds) and Chris Quinn (22 seconds) put on their overalls as San Antonio's Mario Brothers!

Knicks-Kings: Timofey Mozgov made one rebound in 5:46, only to lose the rock twice for a 2:1 Voskuhl (his second Voskuhl in two nights).

Of course, in the Purple Paupers' regular effort in snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory, Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson FINALLY lived up to his name in his Natomas residency with a +4 in 9:55 via two tossed bricks and two fouls, while Antoine Wright launched a Koopa shell into the psyche of Kings fans everywhere with a 21 second Mario.

Labels: ,

39 Comments:
Blogger Dan B. said...
I believe what VDN meant to say is "If you look at it statistically we're doing some good things for the other team." There. Now it makes sense!

Anonymous Rhett said...
Can we start refering to Parker as "Le Douche"?

Blogger Will said...
"Kyle Korver and Omer Asik hooked up on a sweet pick and roll play that looked like something out of an instructional video."
Did you ever in your life think you would type that sentence in all seriousness?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
To be fair to the Suns,
When your starting PF/C is Channing Frye and Hedo Turkulou (seriously? lol) you kinda expect him to put up at least that many points but

Blogger Onandonymous said...
The Sixers are not who I thought they were. My fingers are trying to break themselves as I type this, but they're actually worse.

Anonymous Barry said...
PussyAintGotNoFace has been my Yahoo fantasy team name ever since the Livin Large series. I'd like to shake Bruce's hand for that, but seriously, who knows where it's been?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I already know how this Greg Oden thing plays out. The fucking Miami Heat gamble on him, he somehow stays (relatively) healthy and provides the inside enforcer that they need. Portland proceeds to burn things as he averages 12-12 and 3 bpg in 65+ games (again thats relatively healthy for him). God I hope I'm wrong.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
How could you not post Joel Anthony's super epic fail from last night? I had a .gif and everything! If that isn't bawful good sir then I don't know what is

Blogger Basketbawful said...
PussyAintGotNoFace has been my Yahoo fantasy team name ever since the Livin Large series. I'd like to shake Bruce's hand for that, but seriously, who knows where it's been?

That's a better point than you may know. I don't remember if I mentioned this in Livin' Large, but Bruce once swore to me -- SWORE -- that fingering some chick miraculously healed his broken finger.

And while we're talking about off-color topics, a friend of mine whom I've mentioned on this site may times but shall remain nameless has been getting shit for years for this story. Friend X, Friend Y (also mentioned here) and I went to this strip club in Iowa called Southern Comfort (SoCo) a few years back. While we were there, Friend X somehow managed to hook up with a swinger who was there with her husband, and the two of them went back into one of the booths with one of the strippers on duty.

30 minutes later, the three of them came out all flushed and sweaty. For some perspective, this happened on the same night we saw a guy get his ass kicked for trying to rape a stripper who had passed out while giving him a lap dance. Ah...good times.

Anyway, on the drive back, Friend X (who was trashed, by the way) was giving us the lurid details from the back seat. Said he: "I'm tellin' ya, I stuck my fingers up in that bitch." Friend Y and I laughed that nervous laugh that says, "Okay, please stop," but Friend X apparently took that as us doubting his mad pickup skills, so he said, "See?!" and tried to jam two nasty fingers in our faces.

Not good times.

Sadly, Friend X is currently sidelined from pickup ball due to a very effed up knee. Too bad he didn't save some of whatever he had on his fingers. It might have cured him. Maybe Greg Oden too.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
How could you not post Joel Anthony's super epic fail from last night? I had a .gif and everything! If that isn't bawful good sir then I don't know what is

Dude, dude, dude. Sorry. It didn't get copied and pasted over from my notepad to the Word file I used to write the post.

But...POST UPDATED. With video.

Blogger chris said...
The paupers' 27-9 lead in the first quarter should've been a clear sign they were headed for Yet Another Gutwrenching But Predictable Loss.

Gah.

I'm not sure Las Vegas or any other city would want to be subjected to this brand of bawful, either.

Anonymous JJ said...
"Bruce once swore to me -- SWORE -- that fingering some chick miraculously healed his broken finger."

OMG, that cracked me up. Made my morning. Thanks.

On a more serious note, I feel bad for Brent. I knew Parker/Eva thing probably wasn't going to last due to the age difference. But, Brent seems like a good guy and it's not like he and Eva hooked up in exchange (not sure if that'd make up for it anyway). It must really suck to him now.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Spurs are tied for the best record in the NBA. For a team that 'Bawful loves to remind has a very shut window, they seem to be doing a hell of a job proving all the doubters wrong so far.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Clippers and Pacers tonight. Maybe Hibbert and Griffin can trade notes on what it's like to be a nice young big man on a team going nowhere and how to cope with team mates who couldn't care less. At least Blake lives in LA.

Shaq still doesn't look right in a Boston uni. It's just wrong.

I like to reverse those types of things. Let's see: "Dick ain't go no face." No sir, it doesn't work. Not unless large amounts of alcohol are involved. That's the big difference between the sexes. A guy can break every bone in his body and be on the verge of death and he'll still be ogling the nurse and trying to look down her dress.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
The Spurs are tied for the best record in the NBA. For a team that 'Bawful loves to remind has a very shut window, they seem to be doing a hell of a job proving all the doubters wrong so far.

I have to admit, I've been impressed so far.

That said, the record could be mildly deceiving. Their one loss was to the Hornets (8-1), while their eight wins (before the Bulls game) were against the Pacers (4-5), Clippers (1-11), Suns (6-5), Rockets (3-8), Bobcats (4-7), Clippers (again), Sixers (2-10) and Thunder (7-4).

They barely beat Phoenix 112-110 during the Suns' rough 1-3 start (and we still don't know exactly how good this team is) and the Rockets took them to overtime before the Spurs prevailed 124-121. San Antonio’s most convincing win was their most recent outing, a 117-104 victory in Oklahoma City. Of course, the Thunder have been all over the map during their first 11 games.

So their first eight wins were against opponents that have a combined record of 28-61. I'm just sayin'.

As for the Bulls, they were playing the second night of back-to-back road games and had the Spurs down 17 points before they fell apart.

So yes, the record is impressive. But until they face off against L.A. or Boston, any optimism should be tempered.

Blogger Michael Hsu said...
I'm sure Greg Oden is doing fine sitting on his couch taking pictures of his junk for 4 million a year. He doesn't need hugs.

Bitter much? Yes.

Blogger Cortez said...
"So yes, the record is impressive. But until they face off against L.A. or Boston, any optimism should be tempered."

In the immoratal words of the greatest champion ever...

"This bum been taking the easy matches, fighting other bums!"
~Clubber Lang

I've watched a few of those Spurs games. They're going nowhere.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Weighing in on the Spurs here, with that team you also need to hold off and just see how healthy they look in the latter part of the season, cause Duncan and Ginobili have not held up well in the last couple years over the grind of the regular season. They're looking good in November against, as Mr. Bawful pointed out, inferior opponents, but let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet.

Did anyone see the end of that Mavs-Hornets game last night? It looked like both teams were doing their damnest to give it away. With NOLA up 2 Peja stepped to the line and bricked the first of two free throws, then the Mavs came down and hit a shot to cut it to 1 with like 10 seconds to go. The Hornets (Trevor Ariza) then threw it away on the inbounds play (coming out of a timeout at halfcourt, no less), so the Mavs with possession down 1 with less than 10 seconds to go called timeout. On the ensuing inbounds play, Dirk got the ball near midcourt, and for some reason tried to dribble behind his back, and this allowed David West to steal it and get fouled. He then bonked a FT, giving the Mavs one more chance down 2 with a few seconds left, but they threw the ball away again. Yikes.

Anonymous lechuck said...
and the curse of portland big men's injury continues..
let's see.. bill walton, mychal thompson, sam bowie, greg oden. if i were lamarcus aldridge, i would demand a trade immediately.
maybe it was something in the portland water, but out of curiosity, does anyone know if there has been a research done about the relations between a region's environmental condition and probability of injury?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Basketbawful and Wild Yams both bring up excellent points in regards to my earlier post about the Spurs.

I knew that had a soft schedule to begin the season, but didn't realize it was THAT soft.

Fair enough guys.

Anonymous JJ said...
Kind of off-topic, but if you guys don't know about it, check out: http://www.hoopspeak.com/

This week, they discuss if Bosh is really "soft" or not. It's an entertaining and insightful read. And their style is definitely one of a kind. The past "meme" series posts are excellent as well.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
To the Suns, Oden.

Let our magic medical staff and endless supply of ASU chicks asking for penis photos fulfill your destiny.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Also, since Basketbawful keeps bringing up opponent records in terms of who has a "good" 9-1 record or whatever, I just wanted to point out that the debate is still fierce (between stat guys themselves and ABPR guys and traditional fans), figuring out how important blowouts versus weak teams are versus skating past good teams by a few points. This post takes a shot at looking at this in the NBA, although IMHO it's very raw and inconclusive.

Point is, instead of working to try and look at opponent records, the number is compiled neatly for you in the form of SRS. (Or for gamblers, SRS is basically a 1-sided over/under). Any given day you can check the SRS across the league here, so today we see that the Spurs 9-1 start (7.23) is less impressive than the Hornets' 9-1 start (11.14) and Boston's 9-2 start (8.64).

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
@stephanie g - Don't sell us short. We'd be trying to look UP that nurse's dress, too.

Blogger Will said...
I know this isn't related, but good god, Dan Snyder is may be the most miserly owner in sports. Sterling is neck and neck with him, but look at this laundry list from the past decade.
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/articles/40063/the-cranky-redskins-fans-guide-to-dan-snyder

Blogger Dooj said...
The only problem I have with the blowouts vs weak teams stat is that Hollinger still has Miami ranked #1.

Blogger Sorbo said...
You should probably call Friend X "Friend V," as in Venereal disease. A stripper and a swinger? They are the No. 1 and No. 2 picks in my Draft for Most Likely to Get Warts. Shocked that his balls didn't fall off in the carride. He should have burned his fingers when he got home. Still, that's kind of amazing story. Definitely worth a retell.

Curious how the Barry/Parker dynamic affects the locker room for the current Spurs team. If you're on that team, you probably don't trust Frenchy around your wife or girlfriend. If Barry left in 2008, when did this happen?

Blogger Ultra-Misanthrope said...
Well when you make personnel decisions based on who had the highest rating in the 5 year old version of Madden you've been playing and then proceed to throw redonkulous amounts of money at them, you tend to have to cut costs in other areas to make up for it. Dan Snyder has been the dumbest owner since he took over and that has not changed nor will it ever. The fact that they could walk away from that idiotic deal they offered McNabb for only the low price of $4 million must be tempered by the fact that they are CONSIDERING giving him that god awful contract.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
IThat's not a problem with the blowouts vs weak teams stat, that's a problem with Hollinger's method, which is designed to work better later in the season.

Besides, what's wrong with taking Miami 1? They may be boring to watch, but their offense keeps getting better and better while their defense is pretty good too, notably on the perimeter and closing out 3pt shooters, aka the main way teams can keep up with them.

Blogger Will said...
Ultra-Misanthrope- it's not even the retarded contracts that really get my goat, it's that he's taken a dump the size of Angola on Skins fans from day 1. and i don't even care about that team.

Blogger stephanie g said...
How many more bones have to be dissolved in Portland before it's discovered that one of their medical staff is poisoning his/her patients? It happens, you know. We'll be watching a 30/30 type documentary on this within the decade!

Blogger Will said...
stephanie g- maybe the Rose Garden is built on an old Indian graveyard and this is their way of getting back

Blogger Solieyu said...
Oden to Phoenix is a good idea. Easily the best medical team in the league if the fact that they've kept Steve Nash going, Grant Hill injury free (a miraculous feat), and resuscitated Shaq, however briefly. Dunno what's going on in Portland that knees seem to turn into a jenga game, but if I'm on the Blazer's roster I'm retaining a personal physician with a specialization in turning water to wine. Poor old man Greg. I will be nothing but happy for him if he gets healthy and turns into a great center.

I'm really wondering what Boozer will do for the Bulls. He'll provide much needed interior scoring and open things up on the outside, but his defense could be described as sieve-like. Maybe ol' Tom can get him to play some D.

Blogger Ultra-Misanthrope said...
I guarantee that Dan Snyder doesn't even realize how loathed he is. He probably thinks people like him. Booo-urns and all that.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"IThat's not a problem with the blowouts vs weak teams stat, that's a problem with Hollinger's method, which is designed to work better later in the season."

Uhm Hollingers Formula is basically SRS taking Home and Away games in to account (and weighting the last 10 games higher). SRS is just Scoring Margin multiplied with strength of schedule. SRS has the Heat also in first place.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
NBA All-star voting is out. Go look at the West Centers. Not ONE person on that list averages more than 11-12 ppg. Its truly histrically awful that the west does not have one good center. Pau is listed as a PF.....

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Heat fans (like me) will rejoice over the fact that our very own 'Super' Mario Chalmers is on the ballot, and Paul 'The most hated man in Miami' Millsap is not! Weird though...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Solieyu - Heh, you forgot the big one in there: Amar'e. No one has ever come back from a knee injury like that before all the way to the high level he's playing. Given he missed almost as many games as Yao, with a few freak injuries, but still came back every time, final credit has to goto the Suns medical staff for that.

Just wait for his first injury in NY, and see what happens.

Anon - "Uhm Hollingers Formula is basically SRS taking Home and Away games in to account (and weighting the last 10 games higher). SRS is just Scoring Margin multiplied with strength of schedule. SRS has the Heat also in first place.

Yea, I know, so if the season is only 11 games so far, then that's that.... and my point was correcting the OP saying they actually meant to not like Hollinger's method....and your post supports this...good job buddy.

And SRS isn't "just Scoring Margin multiplied with strength of schedule". It's scoring margin plus their average opponents' ratings. While the Heat also have the highest SRS, the rating is swayed by heavy blowouts, which again circles around to the original point: how much blowouts can define a good team.

Besides, there are other ways to use point margin besides SRS and Hollinger that lessen the effect of blowouts, like Pythagorean wins. Or use the "blowouts against crappy teams" stat, which is if you've blown out more crappy opponents than your opponent in the Finals/Conference Championship, you're likely to win.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Chalmers and his 1 ppg....on the ballot. Hilarity

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