Doesn't this picture make you sad we didn't have any NBA games yesterday?
I hate Duke. Sigh. Let's move on.

Golden State Warriors head coach Don Nelson is just one victory away from becoming the NBA's all-time leader in wins as a coach. Of course this record says nothing of his actual success since it ignores his multitude of losses, but it's still a relatively impressive accomplishment I suppose. But is it that big of a deal? As noted by Marc Stein:

One win away from becoming the NBA's all-time winningest coach, with a game forthcoming Tuesday night against the eminently beatable Washington Wizards, Nelson has canceled the Golden State Warriors' morning shootaround.

Reason being: Nelson has managed, through some of wife Joy's connections, to arrange a pregame private tour of the White House for the 23-win Warriors.

Nellie, I salute you for giving us all years and years of entertainment, and for giving Basketbawful one more reason to exist. Sadly Don Nelson also says in the interview for that article that he plans to retire after one more season. At least we still have another full year to enjoy his bawfulness.

In other news, holy freaking crap:


I knew that pro-level athletes were obviously able to run faster than the average person, but holy crap. I had no idea just how stupidly fast the human body can go. I think I ran out of breath and got cramps just from watching that video.

One last aside before we delve into the pictures from the weekend. This is completely and totally not basketball related, but is definately worth passing along. I found an article that claims there is a Sandra Bullock/Jesse James sex tape. The best quote from the article:

The alleged tape reportedly includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler mustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s bottom with a shotgun in his left hand.

...wow. That sounds even more intense than the virtual mind sex Sandra Bullock's character had with Sly Stallone in Demolition Man.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

Is there anything more awkward looking than Stan Van Gundy holding a basketball?

..yes, there is.

Thank you, Rockets assistant coach John Sigma, for giving us one of the saddest facepalms in a while

Elton Brand, Defensive Master

John Kuester attempts to will the ball into the hoop with his mind powers

LeBron and Delonte West attempt to... yeah, I have no idea what they're doing

Geordi La Forge is Captain Jack's favorite Star Trek character

Shh... it's naptime

Who wants to break it to Carlos Boozer that he isn't Superman?
All The Games:
Craptors at Crabs: These last few games of the regular season are effectively meaningless for Cleveland, while Toronto needs some wins to lock up a chance to lose to the Crabs in the first round of the playoffs. However, the Craptors are still the Craptors, so they'll probably lose this one anyway.

Pistons at 76ers: Eleven consecutive losses. Damn. This is the second time this season Detroit's had double-digit losing streaks. It's almost just sad at this point.

Warriors at Wizards Generals Bullets: To be fair, this game really is a good opportunity for Nellie to get that milestone win...

Hawks at Bobcats: The Bobcats are trying to stay healthy, and failing. Lately Captain Jack has been hampered by injuries to his hamstring, ankle, elbow, and hand. In related news, team doctors confirmed his ligaments and muscles are actually made of Silly Putty and vaginal fluid.

Celtics at Knicks: Nate Robinson didn't play against the Crabs. Was Doc Rivers saving him for an epic revenge game against the Knicks?! (Nah.)

Bucks at Bulls: I just thought about seeing Andrew Bogut's elbow injury. I'm just gonna go over here and dry heave for a moment...

Rockets at Grizzlies: During the first three games of their current road trip, the Rockets have allowed 122 PPG. It's a shame they don't have a "D" in their name that I can remove.

Thunder at Jazz: The Thunder have won all three of their games against the Jazz this season, yet Accuscore gives the Jazz an 80% chance of victory. This is why I hate math.

Spurs at Kings: The Spurs will be without the services of Tony Parker and George Hill against the Purple Paupers. Meanwhile, Sacramento's on a seven-game losing streak, and as of the last time I checked, they are still the Purple Paupers. I'll allow you to draw your own conclusions.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Don Nelson, Stan Van Gundy