Nationally Televised Games:
Rockets at Magic: Vince Carter is now on a 28.6% shooting streak over the past four games. Okay, here's my theory: the even-more-insane Stephon Marbury has convinced Vinsanity to start eating Vaseline like Starbury, and his hands are so slippery afterwards that it makes it hard to shoot. Plausible, right?
All The Other Games:
Raptors at Pistons: Okay, the Raptors have somehow won two straight, but one of those wins was against the Nyets. Speaking of which...
Timberwolves at Nyets: Oh sweet merciful crap, this is a bad, bad game. Kill it with fire! Do I need to say it? Your Basketbawful Game of the Night, everyone!
Jazz at Heat: You know, I can't figure out exactly why, but the Jazz are having trouble winning on the road this year. (Checks Internet) "Sloan's team is 5-8 on the road, averaging 96.5 points. The Jazz average 105.3 at home." Oh. Well, there you go.
Warriors at Hornets: Gol_en State is 3-13 on the road. New Orleans is 10-3 at home. Well, I think we can all see where this game is heading...
Wizards Generals at Bucks: This stat really surprised me. The Bucks are averaging 98.0 points per game, and giving up 97.3 per game. And yet they are only 12-14? That's what happens when your record in games decided by 3 or fewer points is only 2-8.
Ail Blazers at Spurs: Thanks to the Curse of Walton, Portland doesn't have Oden, Vanilla Godzilla Przybilla, or any true centers to protect the rim. If Tim Duncan decides to go off and have a monster night, I won't be the least bit surprised.
Hawks at Nuggets: Poor Denver. George Karl is probably calling and texting Chauncey Billups every five minutes asking if he's feeling ready to play yet.
Thunder at Suns: The last time the Thunder won a game in Phoenix (a 152-149 double OT game in 2006), they were still the Sonics, and Nick Collison is the only player from that roster still with the team.
Crabs at Kings: King Crab versus the Kings! I just like how that fits together. At least it's the most interesting thing about this blowout-in-the-making. And our own Chris will be there!