Welcome to another edition of BAD. After last night's unfathomably bad collapse by the Bulls, I feel our own Bawful head author (who is also the author of By The Horns) needs a nice distraction for at least one segment of this post. Thank God for Jim Zorn!
Worst of the Night - Footbawful Crossover: The Washington Redskins: I honestly cannot remember chuckling at an NFL play quite as much as I did last night. The Redskins were getting pummeled by the Giants late in the first half, and they decided to just go into "screw it, we're going for the touchdown" mode right before halftime. As a result, they gave us one of the most confusingly bad fake field goal attempts I have ever seen.
(Before breaking down this epic fail, I'd like to point out that the 'Skins have Sherman Lewis calling passing plays, Sherman Smith calling running plays, and Jim Zorn calling fourth down plays. Not only does this make absolutely zero sense because it's just stupid to try and use that many playcallers at once, but it also is destined to fail simply because there's no way in the 21st century that you can find two effective playcallers named "Sherman.")
From what I understand, in a normal "swinging gate" gadget play (usually done on a two-point conversion attempt), everyone but the center and the holder shifts to one side, and the holder just tosses the ball back to the center (who becomes an eligible receiver) for the easy touchdown. But that's when you're right on top of the goal line. This time, it was roughly a 20 yard attempt! In this "Failgate" play (as it surely was called on Jim Zorn's playcalling sheet), apparently the plan was for a quick screen pass, or barring that, the holder Hunter Smith had to just throw up a lobbed pass and hope somebody on his team caught it. Brilliant!
When Giants coach Tom Coughlin saw the shift, he called a timeout to prepare his team. When they went back onto the field, Zorn's team showed the same exact formation and tried to run the same exact play they had planned before the timeout. Washington pulled this off once earlier this season on a different fake kick play. Now, you know the whole "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twic, shame on me" saying? Yeah, Coughlin was ready for the 'Skins to try this crap again. Needless to say, the throw into quintuple coverage was picked off, and the Redskins left the first half with a nice fat goose egg on the scoreboard.
(Chris: And here, in all its non-glory, is the play in question!!!!)
Consider the reactions from the ESPN commentators, who normally are tripping over themselves to praise players left and right:
Mike Tirico: "What in the wide world was that? ... This is embarrassing."
Jon Gruden: "I've never seen that play. I hope I never see it again."
Ron Jaworski: "I'm speechless. I don't know what to say."
I think that should sum up how indefensible this example of play-calling truly was. And yet, Jim Zorn tried to defend it! "I contemplated just kicking the field goal after (the timeout). The play was unique enough that I didn't think they saw what we were really trying to do. But they smelled it out pretty quickly. We didn't really have a chance."
Well, at least Zorn was right about that last sentence.
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
No caption necessary.
Even more self-explanatory than the last one.
Somehow Tyreke Evans doing the Big Balls Dance didn't cause his team to lose.
I wonder if Amar'''''e has to wear eye protection now because he actually has gotten poked in the eye by the random apostrophe action?
Redick is about two seconds from re-creating the Pauly D/Jwoww incident on Jersey Shore with Green Shirt Guy. Apparently this is the play calling signal for "Imma drive the lane while everyone else stands still, okay?" "The more I jut out my chin, the more my players will listen! Yeah!"
All Of The Games: 76ers at Wizards Generals: I'm going to borrow a bit of Bill Simmons logic here because it's all I can say about this game: when Andre Iguodala is your leading scorer, that means Andre Iguodala is your leading scorer.
Pistons at Bobcats: Pistons head coach John Kuester had this to say about the Lakers game: "I thought we were going to beat them." I wouldn't even say that about this Bobcats game, John.
Pacers at Celtics: The Celtics already dropped a game to the horrendous 76ers. I just don't see them doing that again tonight.
Bulls at Knicks: You know what? After the Bulls' unfathomably bad late-game collapse to the Kings at home, this gets my Basketbawful Game of the Night designation.
Hawks at Timberwolves: Atlanta has the 4th highest Points For average in the Assocation. Minnesota's defensive effort reminds me of playing against the AI in Rookie mode in a video game. This one should get ugly.
Warriors at Grizzlies: Good ol' Golden State. Did you know Don Nelson's Warriors are giving up 111.6 points per game this season? It's not quite the infamous '90-'91 Nuggets, but it's still pretty bawful, if completely and totally unsurprising.
Trailblazers at Mavericks: Considering Dirk Nowitzki is probably still removing tooth fragments from his elbow, could we see further Contract Year Phenomenom from Tim Thomas? I'm excited.
Clippers at Rockets: The Clippers are on the second night of a back to back and are deep into a long road trip. Throw in the inarguable truth that they, of course, are who we thought they were, and it's like the trifecta of fail.
Thunder at Lakers: Did you know... Shaun Livingston and his decimated knee still play for the Thunder? I know! I'm just as surprised as you! He does have ten whole points this season though, so at least we know he's not just a cardboard cutout sitting on the bench.