The Orlando Magic: In the second round, they defeated the defending NBA champions (minus their best player). In the Eastern Conference Finals, they overcame the MVP and the so-called best team in the league (who, unfortunately for the people of Cleveland, were "coached" by Mike Brown and his pickup league offense). Thus the Magicians made it to the Finals...where they gave us this:


Oddly enough, this series -- which the Lakers won 4-1 -- could have gone the full seven games...if Orlando hadn't choked away Games 2 and 4. And last night's lackluster effort sure made it seem like that Game 4 heartbreaker killed Orlando's team spirit. The Magic put up a decent fight for all of 12 minutes, then died a quiet, whimpering death the rest of the way. During the second and third quarters, the Gargamels scored only 33 points (13-for-39) and committed 10 turnovers. The final period was a formality.

Orlando shot 41 percent for the game. They missed 19 of their 27 three-point attempts. They were battered on the boards 47-36 (including 13-6 on the offensive glass). Dwight Howard had a good game...for Jamaal Magloire (11 points, 10 rebounds, 3 blocked shots, 3 turnovers, 5 fouls). Hedo Turkoglu (12 points, 4-for-8, 5 fouls) spent his 42 minutes of PT locked in a Trevor Ariza-shaped straightjacket. Rashard Lewis (6-for-19 from the field, 3-for-12 from downtown) re-opened the debateon whether he was really worth that $118 million contract he signed back in 2007. The starting backcourt of Rafer Alston and Courtney Lee (10-for-25, 1-for-8 from behind the arc) were firing blanks. Mickael Pietrus (4 points and 1 rebound in 14 minutes) and Jameer Nelson (5 points and 4 assists in 12 minutes) were non-factors. Freaking J.J. Redick (8 points, 3-for-3 from the field, 2-for-2 on threes, and 3 assists in 10 minutes off the bench) might have been Orlando's best player.

Nobody expected the Magic to win, of course. Not after they failed to come through in either of those overtime losses. But I would have figured they'd fight tooth and nail to avoid the embarrassment of giving up the title on their home court. So, once again, I figured wrong. Play them off, Keyboard Cat...


Stan Van Gundy: After that tough loss/choke job in Game 4, Stan said: "The guys are in a good frame of mind. We are not mentally weak. We are ready to play and I think we will play a hell of a game." Then he tried to inspire his players with a story about American cyclist Greg LeMond's come-from-behind win in the 1989 Tour de France. "People started to write him off. And at the end of a stage he looked beaten and he and his wife were talking and when he left and they asked his wife what he said and he said to her, 'I'll just make the story all that much better when I come back and win it.'" Then he preached belief. "You've got to start first with the belief you can win the championship. If you don't think you can go to Los Angeles and win the championship then even though you're saying one game at a time it is pretty easy to let go if things aren't going well. I tell them it is no different than the approach we've had all year. Our goal from the beginning has been to win the championship but then you approach your job one day, one game, one possession at a time."

Well, that worked. I bet he lives in a van down by the river, too.

Kobe Bryant, quote machine: On finally winning a title without Shaq: "I just don't have to hear that criticism, that idiotic criticism anymore. That's the biggest thing. I don't have to hear that stuff anymore. It was annoying. It was like Chinese water torture, just keep dropping a drop of water on your temple. It was just annoying. I would cringe every time. I was just like, it's a challenge I'm just going to have to accept because there's no way I'm going to argue it. You can say it until you're blue in the face and rationalize it until you're blue in the face, but it's not going anywhere until you do something about it. I think we as a team answered the call because they understood the challenge that I had, and we all embraced it."

Shaq: Anybody else notice Shaq's congratulatory Tweet to Kobe last night? Dan B. did:


On the one hand, it's pretty damn funny. But on the other hand, it's also classic Shaq: Even when it's not about him, it's all about him. To him, anyway. The Big Me-Me-Me also took time away from his busy schedule -- which currently includes trying to force a trade to the Crabs -- to mock both Adam Morrison and Sun Yue.

The Machine: This entry actually doubles as Chris's last lacktion report of the year: "Sasha Vujacic celebrated the Lakers' fourth championship this decade with a one-brick +1 suck differential in 4:42, the last lacktator of the 2009 postseason!" Speaking of Sasha...

The world we live in: We already lived in a world where Antoine Walker is an NBA champion. And now...


Lakers fans: Great Caesar's ghost. Will the Lakers ever be able to win a championship without the people of Los Angeles acting like they've been infected with the "Rage virus" from 28 Days Later? Just want you want: Thousands of people playing rabies victim. Let's take a look at some of the carnage.

"Let's light shit on fire! Fire rocks!"
This is gonna get bad...
Yup, it's bad...
Getting worse...
MUST SMASH BILLBOARD! RAARGH!!
"A cop car! Get it!!"
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do...
And, of course, the looting.

Labels: 2009 NBA Finals, Kobe Bryant, Lakers fans are insane, Los Angeles Lakers, Orlando Magic, yet another gratuitous Hulk Hogan reference