passer remorse

passer's remorse (pas'-uhrz ri-mors') noun. An emotional condition whereby a pickup baller experiences an immediate and gut-wrenching sense of regret after making a pass.

Usage example: I suffered from an intense case of passer's remorse after dishing the ball to Michigan Guy on game point.

Word history: I coined the term -- which is an obvious takeoff of buyer's remorse -- while me and some buddies were making a list of the people in our pickup league to whom we should never pass the ball. It was generally agreed that passer's remorse typically occurs after the following events:

1. A straight up bad pass.

2. An overly fancy pass that results in a turnover or spoils an easy score. Such as, for instance, when the ball handler jumps in the air before dishing a no-looker or tries to make a behind-the-back pass on the fast break. Or any behind-the-back pass, for that matter. These distributions rarely end well...or end up in the hands of a teammate for that matter. Memo to pickup ballers everywhere: There is no SportsCenter for pickup leagues.

3. When you pass the ball only because you don't realize how wide open you are. Like when somebody hits you under the basket, and you're sure that some big dude is waiting behind you, ready to deliver an atom smasher. Only after you dish the rock do you realize the horrible truth: You were all alone. (But since pickup ballers miss 50-60 percent of their layups, open or otherwise, that might actually have been the best decision.)

4. When you pass the ball to a Black Hole, SWAC, or a NBDM (Notoriously Bad Decision Maker). It's usually clear from the look in his eyes -- well before the ball even touches his greedy, twitching fingers -- that he's putting up the shot no matter what.

5. When you pass the ball to a truly awful player. This happened to me just last night. I drove baseline and, when the defense collapsed, shovel-passed to a teammate who was wide open for a two-footer. Unfortunately, since I was using my peripheral vision, I didn't realize until it was too late that he was free for a reason: He's the worst player in our league. (We've nicknamed him "The Human Turnover.") Terrible players are particularly dangerous to teammates who have been conditioned to always hit the open man. Note that there are certain players who should never be allowed to come into contact with the ball. Partly because they suck and will (most likely) somehow manage to ruin the play, and partly because whatever they have may be catching, and you're probably going to have to touch that ball again.

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13 Comments:
Blogger chris said...
I would suggest faking the tossoff to the "Human Turnover" as a bit of a feint, except that NOBODY would buy that move as intentional! That is...unless you were guarded by folks who were also equally proficient at assuming the next move goes to the zero-teamed baller.

Blogger Headless Chicken said...
Wow, I know this feeling. And for all the described reasons. It's horrible. And the most horrible thing about it for me: It's common place.

Blogger Murcy said...
I played in this 2 vs 2 streetball tournament with my friend, and it took us about 10 days to correctly learn a play in which after a PnR I peetrate and then give a behind-a-back pass. I love that move. and it fails about 80 % of the time. 40 % - i mess it up. 30 %: the defense intercepts 10 %: my teammate is totally shocked and cannot catch it.

Anonymous jacob salazar said...
lol that is why at open gyms or anywhere else in fact, you should run with people you know. one, i dont let my friends play if they suck that bad. two, anytime i do have to pass to a bad player, i run at them and extract the ball from their hands (in any way possible, including stealin it from them.) and lastly if you have to pass it to a bad player having this passing remorse, you should instead scream foul and take it to the top of the key to inbound again! ha so sweet you need to try it.

Anonymous VCfor3 said...
For the opposing guy on the other team, its really easy to defend the sucky guy, you DON'T. Its funny because the guy runs around being open all the time yet no one is within 20 feet of him because he's guaranteed to mess up.

Anonymous Saad said...
Basketbawful, i forgot to add this to the weekend's blog post but you were very misinformed with the Haslem injurt and you really need to read this:

----------------

"Miami Heat's Udonis Haslem's thumb injury worse than expected



The thumb injury that knocked Heat forward Udonis Haslem out for the rest of the regular season was a little worse than expected.

Haslem also sprained the right thumb he lacerated as he smacked the backboard in trying to block a shot in Friday's win at Charlotte.

Haslem, who met with Heat lead physician Harlen Selesnick on Monday, will be out close to two weeks as he waits for the thumb, which required six stitches, to heal.

Haslem received strict orders to limit activity with the hand and keep it free of moisture or sweat. An infection could force him out of the playoffs in two weeks. Coach Erik Spoelstra had to chase Haslem off the practice court Monday.

''He should not be doing what he's doing right now,'' Spoelstra said as he saw Haslem sneak onto the court to attempt a free throw with his thumb in a splint. ``Udonis, you're done here. I'm going to have to lock the gym to keep him out of here.''

Haslem said he has started to rely on his left hand.

''It's just basically a waiting game right now,'' Haslem said. ``It's just real, real sore. . . . It was a real deep cut. I could see the meat.''

-------

Haslem is a warrior, he would not be sitting out if he wasn't forced to.

Blogger Nick Noyes said...
I play for an international high school in Rome (made up mostly of Italian kids), and yesterday our basketball team had a game against the American school from the city. Every possession ended with a passer's remorse, it seemed. We lost by 52 points.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
i nominate NBDM as a future word of the day

Blogger Mintz... said...
I totally feel the passers remorse... But I was thinking about it.. and theres definitely shooters remorse too! When you shoot... and you immediately realize you should've:
a) driven to the hoop for an easy 2
or b) passed to the man who is clearly wide open

Anonymous DeWoof01 said...
So I don't have the ability to make a video, but if anyone catches the end of the blazer-grizzles game last night, they will see a great clip of the vanilla godzilla walking off the court and a fan mocking him. this is right after portland comes back on a 10-2 run to win the game. After the fan mocks the blazers, przybilla looks pissed and is cleary heard saying "good game mother fucker" to a fan before he walks off the court and into the locker room. Just hoping someone gets a video up of it.

OpenID phelan said...
shooter's remorse? what's that? there's no such thing as a bad shot, how can you have shooter's remorse!?

on another note, is there a term yet for the pickup baller that knows the nba rulebook forwards and backwards, and calls every foul or violation in a pickup game? i just finished a game with one of these guys that called everything, even going in depth on why i was 'assessed' a charge. i ended up calling him webster.

or the guy who just calls a foul on everything when there's nobody within 3 feet of him...

Anonymous JP said...
Hey Basketbawful, maybe you can use this on your site:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3660/3422958877_1447552a28_o.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3660/3422958877_1447552a28_o.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3660/3422958877_1447552a28_o.jpg

I made it in Photoshop. Original photo on Sports Illustrated website.

Anonymous DvusRai said...
Sad but true. I played rec ball with a guy just out the penn. Ankle brace monitor, scary prison tatts on the face, Dude looked like an extra from OZ! When he asked who had next, everyone in the gym pointed in my direction. When he asked me if he could run on my team, I froze, what the hell was I suppose to do? Of course I let him play. Momma aint raise no fool. The problem was, dude was straight trash. He couldnt do nothing right. You pass him the ball. He would fumble it out of bounds. The guy he was guarding was the worst man on their team & dude scored 10 of their 12 points for them. The sad part bout convict's game was dude was trying so damn hard. It was like watching an afterschool special only instead of a mentally challenged guy overcoming obstacles at the end. Convict kept dropping dimes that hit him in his hands. After we lost dude asked if I wanted to run again. I politely declined & proclaimed I was late for work on a sunday afternoon. Yeah I bitched out but did I not mention dat my momma aint raise no fool.

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