Sasha Pavlovic: He was easily the least productive Cavalier -- among those that saw some PT -- and that's really saying something: 10 minutes, zero points (0-for-1), 1 rebound, 1 steal and 1 foul. But in another statistical anomaly that Mr. Lenova has yet to adequately explain, Sasha had the best +/- score on the team (+4). So, what? He's unproductive but invaluable?

Daniel Gibson: It's probably been official for a while now, but I'm going to say it anyway: Delonte West has rendered Boobie obsolete. And now Boobs, like Sasha, is stuck in a Catch-and-Shoot-22: He's not effective unless he's getting shots, but he's not going to get any shots unless he becomes more effective. And it showed (again) last night: 2 points, 1-for-4, 1 block and 1 foul in 14 minutes of lack-tion. It's hard to believe this now, but does anybody else remember how crucial Boobie was when the Cavs eliminated the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals last year?

Wally Szczerbiak: After a couple solid games in Cleveland, Wally transformed back into the White Larry Hughes by dropping 10 points on 3-for-8 shooting to go along with 4 rebounds, zero assists, 1 turnover and 2 fouls.

Ben Wallace: He's still dying dizzy, right? I mean 4 points, 4 rebounds, a turnover and a block. Oh, and he had the worst +/- score on the team (-11). Is that really more production than they would have gotten out of Drew Gooden? Or even Drew Gooden's beard?

Mike Brown: Not to go all kinky on you guys, but I'm starting to think that Brown is into autoerotic asphyxiation, because he tends to coach with both hands around his neck. And last night was no exception. And here are a few fun comments left about Brown on my NBA Closer Column:

Magnakai Haaskivi: You know, Mike Brown...just because a plan worked ONCE doesn't mean it'll work EVERY SINGLE TIME. You have to assume they'll adjust to your adjustments.

Burning River: Dear Mike Brown, Two things: first, please stop running a ball screen for LeBron. If you don't do this, Boston cannot double up on him. Second, Please do not have Wally on the floor when you have 3 time outs and need a rebound. Thanks, Everyone in Cleveland

Juancho: Seriously, to blow a 14-point lead, cut it 4, and end up losing by 7...Mike Brown...(speechless)...this series is like the bad basketball coaching death octagon: 2 teams will enter, but only 1 coach should be allowed to leave.

Ray Allen: Mr. Shuttlesworth played okay...for Wally Szczerbiak. The line: 11 points, 4-for-11, 3 rebounds, 2 assists, 3 turnovers. Not a bad 40 minutes worth of work for a perennial All-Star, huh? His transformation into Chris Mullin circa 1999 is now complete. Oh, and Rajon Rondo (20 points, 2-for-3 from downtown, 13 assists) may have officially taken Ray-Ray's place in The Mid-Sized Three.

LeBron James: The final numbers were fantastic -- 35 points, 12-for-25 from the field, 11-for-13 from the line, 5 assists -- but after scoring 23 points in the first 20 minutes, King James sent cold, going 4-for-14 and getting burned by Paul Pierce. LeBron also committed 4 turnovers and, after the game, fell back into talking in the third person: "We know it's a win-or-go-home situation...but a LeBron James team is never desperate."

Kendrick Perkins: You can't even say The Beast looked as slow and helpless as Big Ben...because he looked even more slow and helpless. Perkins scored 1 points (0-for-2), grabbed 5 rebounds, threw the ball away twice, had one of his shots stuffed and committed 4 fouls in 28 minutes of sheer ugliness. It's like he's channeling the spirit of Greg Kite.

Doc Rivers: Doc pulled a K.C. Jones last night by playing four of his starters 40+ minutes. It "worked" insofar as the Celtics won the game. But if Boston continues to struggle on the road and has to play seven-game series after seven-game series to proceed, they're going to get worn down. Oh, and his management of the last few minutes of the game was (as usual) terrible.

The Boston Bench: As noted, they didn't get much of a chance to shine, as Doc played got only a combined 45 minutes out of his reserves. And Gang Green promptly sunk to the occasion: 9 points, 4-for-11 shooting, 5 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 turnovers, 2 steals, and 9 fouls. And their numbers were only that good because of Big Baby Davis (6 points, 3-for-4).

Eddie House: He gets special attention for earning his second mario of the playoffs.

Doc Rivers, quote machine: Regarding Rajon Rondo's two three-pointers, Doc said: "Those were shots that when they go in, you love them." Thanks for the enlightenment, Doc.

Carlos Boozer: He shot almost 55 percent from the field during the regular season, but you wouldn't even guess that based on how he's been shooting in this series. Last night, the Booz Man was 6-for-16. And part of the problem has been his reliance on the jump shot, and he was 2-for-8 from outside last night. C'mon, Carlos! You're an inside player. Play inside. Karl Malone didn't start shooting bailout jumpers until he was almost 40.

Paul Millsap: This guy really frustrates me, so I can't imagine how crazy he's driving Jerry Sloan. Some nights, he looks so good, like in Game 2 when he kept the Jazz in the game with 17 points and 10 rebounds. Other nights, he just disappears like most of your buddies do when you have to move to a new apartment. Last night was one of those "other nights": Zero points (0-for-0), 3 rebounds, 3 turnovers and 4 fouls in 7 minutes.

Jarron Collins: He won the Most Invisible Seven-footer of the Night ward: Zero points (0-for-0) and 1 rebound in 2:33. Take away the rebound, and that would have been a vintage Jason Collins performance.

Sasha Vujacic: I enjoy seeing douchebags fail, so Sasha gave me a happy last night by scoring 6 points on 1-for-11 shooting. He was 1-for-8 on threes, which -- in addition to slap-happy defense -- is his supposed specialty.

Luke Walton: Mitch Kupchak finished second in NBA Executive of the Year voting, and it was well-deserved. For the most part. But the six-year, $30 million contract he gave to Walton was as good a reason as any that Kups didn't come in first. The Son of Bill must have been channeling the spirit of his daddy's feet, because he played a pretty worthless 13 minutes: 1 point, 0-for-1, 2 rebounds, zero assists, 1 turnover, 1 steal and 2 personal fouls. And just think: The Lakers can look forward to five more years of this!

D.J. Mbenga: One night after Arron Afflalo did it -- and yeah, I realize I boned that one -- Mbenga matched Afflalo's seemingly impossible feat: He played exactly one second. As Basketbawful reader Justin put it: "Wednesday night, DJ 'Jazzy' Mbenja achieved the most inconceivably awesome Super Mario ever: he played for one second. I've been racking my brain for the proper term for such an epic event, but I'm too excited about saying DJ 'Jazzy' Mbenja to even try thinking of one. But if there is any man capable of both tackling this issue and actually caring about it, I know that man is you." Thank you, Justin. And I am that man. I would describe the event as phenomenally sad, kind of like watching somebody stuff sick kittens into a blender and hit "liquify." Actually, it's a little sadder than that.

Officiating: I'm not going to blast the fact that the Lakers got another 40+ freethrows at home -- although they did -- but I am going to shred the refs for letting Pau Gasol go over the back to score the Lakers' game-breaking basket. As NovakAintNoJokovic put it in my Closer column: "Did anyone else think Gasol's 'crucial' offensive-rebound-and-put-back with 20 seconds to go should have been called an over-the-back? He basically gave Okur a shiatsu massage before shoving him out of the way." The answer, of course, is yes, yes and yes.

Update! Road teams: The road teams are now 1-19 in the second round. That's historically bad. Anybody care to explain the road woes? I'm sure it has nothing to do with The Stern Button, or the fact that extended series bring in a lot of revenue. And don't forget, this stuff started happening at the very beginning of the Stern Era.

NBA Executive of the Year voters: Danny Ainge won the award, as he should have, and Mitch Kupchak came in second, as he should have. And coming in third, only two votes behind Kups, was...New Orleans GM Jeff Bower? Seriously? What, because he sat on Chris Paul, David West and Tyson Chandler? That was a no-brainer. Or was it because he dealt a useful reserve (Bobby Jackson) for a chunky malcontent (Bonzi Wells) and a shoot-happy bench jockey (Mike James). I would really like to hear an explanation for those 12 votes.

NBA.com: Last night's two-face promo featured LeBron James versus...Kevin Garnett? Nope. It was actually LeBron versus LeBron. And here I thought there could be only one. (Thanks to Erich, j men and Milad for jumping all over this one.)


Update! NBA.com's fantasy "expert": They picked Wally Szczerbiak as last night's breakout fantasy player. Whoops. Basketbawful reader Milan pointed this one out to me.


Yahoo! Getty Images: This is more of a personal amusement than an actual "Worst." But somebody at Getty Images must have realized that Basketbawful has been keeping track of their caption boo-boos, because they not only corrected a mistake, they made a really big-ass deal out correcting it (see below). Just another way Basketbawful is making the world a better place. Thanks to kobefearslebron for the 411. Oh, and thanks to dunkfu for replacing the blame.


Random Evil Ted extra: "Has there ever really been a SERIOUS caption error? Unless of course it's a writ from the Governor that mistakenly says "Execute this man" instead of "DON'T execute this man."

Labels: Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, fan submissions, Lebron James, Los Angeles Lakers, Mike Brown, NBA playoffs, Utah Jazz, Worst of the Night