In a carefully scripted statement to his adoring public, Kobe Bryant has admitted to feeling embarrassed about scoring 81 points last week. Said Bryant:
"The concept is not about going out there and putting on a show or going out there and scoring points, it's to win games. I'd much rather go out and score 25 points and get 10 assists and see everybody in a rhythm, everybody in a groove."Forgive me if my giant brain is showing, but I'm pretty sure I already said that as recently as yesterday. I wonder what Mr. Anonymous will have to say now that Kobe's basically agreeing with our fair and balanced assessment of his historic scoring feat? Well, don't worry, Mr. Anonymous. We at Basketbawful don't hold grudges. After all, if you were as quick-witted and suave as we are, then we wouldn't have anything to make fun of. I'm not saying that we actually appreciate idiots like you, but we understand your worth to this page.
Anyway, I find it interesting that it took Kobe so long to come out in favor of team play. I mean, he's only answered, like, two hundred million questions about his non-Wilt scoring record. If this was truly a sincere statement, then he would have been all "team first" from the initial post-game interview. Instead, it took his agent and the Lakers' public relations staff a few extra days to figure out that there are still some people in the world who don't love Kobe Bryant. And that really hurts Kobe's feelings.
I don't know. Maybe Mr. Anonymous was right. Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe -- just maybe -- I'm unreasonably biased against one of the game's most exciting players. From this day forward, I will take the optimist's point of view and assume that the Kobe Glass is not half empty, but rather half full. Of shit.
Okay. Yeah. We hate Kobe.