Today is a day I will remember for a very long time, maybe even until I go to bed tonight. Because today, my friends, is the day that Amare friggin' Stoudemire called me!!

From the heart of a blazing sun, Amare Stoudemire
takes time to jump, dunk, and freaking call me.

Before I relate what he had to say, you need to understand a few things. Amare is a busy man, what with team meetings, rehab, and the daily redefinition of the words "kick" and "ass." He barely has a minute to spare to cover himself in cooking oil and jump into his bed full of naked supermodels. So, no, I wasn't allowed to actually speak to him directly. Instead, I got a wake-up call courtesy of stock message that was pre-taped but lovingly delivered:

"This is Amare Stoudemire. Stop being a lazy bum. Lose the PJs, get dressed, and hit the court. And do something about the hair. You look a mess."

Even though I didn't particularly care for the "lazy bum" comment, I appreciated his frank and brutal honesty. I mean, my hair really does look a mess. Of course, by the time he called, I had been up for two hours and was already at work, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

I know I probably shouldn't reveal this, but Amare's phone number is 1-999-999-9999, which is pretty easy to remember...even for a professional athlete. Just please don't flood him with phone calls right away, because I don't want him to know I gave out his number. I don't like to piss of anyone tough enough to live and work in the heart of a fiery sun.