Derek Fisher: Minutes before security told him he was headed to the wrong locker room for the third time today.

Coach Vogul performs an opera just prior to busting out into a Salsa dance.  His tie failed in its attempt to strangle him.

13-38 baby!!

Only 16 more games, only 16 more games, only 16 more games, only 16 more games...

Gumby has entered the building

Miami cHeat:  Yes, they won, dressed in all black jerseys looking like complete assholes villains.  The Mavs had a 5 point lead at the end of the first, but Miami turned up the....well heat I take a 7 point lead at halftime and never looked back.

Dirk played well scoring 25 points to go with his 6 rebounds.  However, the real culprit is none other than Jason "Stolen Kenny Smith Nickname" Terry.  Once a huge help in Dallas's quest for their first title last season, the mongoloid went off...or south for 1-10 shooting.

When asked about his horrible stat line Terry merely responded with:

"We just worked our habits," LeBron James said. "The best thing about tonight, we didn't take another step backwards like we did the last two games. And it was good to see."

He also added "We're saving all of our backward steps for June, and not just for our Achy Breaky Heart dance routine either"

Also to note, Wade finished with just as many FT attempts (9) as the entire Mavs team got (13).

*deep breath* I love the fresh smell of 2006 in the morning.

LeBron James Headband/Receding Hairline:  While this topic isn't anything new or exciting, it's hard not to notice Lebron's headband getting bigger and bigger and bigger.  Lebron went to South beach but his hairline is trying to go back to Cleveland.

I mean, what next? His headband will grow to be so large we may as well see LeBron look like this for the 2014 Season:

Minneapolis Lakers: Yowza, what looked good in the first half for the Lakers, a 12 point lead and the Bynum/Gasol tandem working to perfection got completely derailed as the game went on.

The LakeShow allowed the Thunder to shoot 46% from the floor, and despite Harden going a weak 3-11 from the floor (to rival Pau's 4-11) OKC ran away with it building their lead to as many as 19 before Los Angeles tried to save face in the end.

Bynum was fantastic going 10-15 from the floor, as the Thunder had no answer for him.

When you're able to shoot 66% from the floor, you'd think you'd be allowed to get up more shots, maybe even a 3 pointer or two.

But then, the Lakers got Kobe'd.

The scene of the crime shot 7-25 from the floor, for a whopping 28% from the floor (which probably raised his FG percentage on the season).

You gotta admit, Kobe is simply fascinating.  It's getting to the point where should my Spurs face the Lakers in the playoffs, I secretly pray Kobe takes as many shots as possible.

I tried to analyze Kobe, study Kobe, become Kobe (even had my lower jaw surgically extended and everything).

This is what I found:

Oh, and have I mentioned that Derek Fisher had just as many points in 16 minutes (7) as Razor Ramone Sessions had in 30?

Bawful Twitter Account of the Day:  As if going 3-13 from the floor isn't bad enough, these tweets could make anyone scratch their head in amazement from Metta World Please:

Pacers/Wizards Generals:  On a night where you had some great matchups that had everyone talking with your Heat and Laker games, the NBA decides to schedule this game on the same night. 

You know when you're seeing that one band you've been waiting your entire life to see?  Your waiting in anticipation.  And as you're waiting, maybe at a festival or something, some awful band takes the stage and everyone is just standing there with their arms crossed and waiting for them to get the hell off ?

Well this game was that band.  

To give an even better example, when the Wizards are in town, it's just like giving someone polite applause even if on the inside you wish they had never shown up at all.

Kinda like this classic Curb Your Enthusiasm clip, where Sammy is the Wizards, and Larry David represents the entire NBA fanbase.....I guess that would make Suzie John Wall's mother:


Weekend's Upcoming Schedule:


Sixers at Generals: The Sixers aren't worried about falling into a tie with Boston, why? Well damn man, just take one look at who they've got next to regain the division lead.

Heat at Craptors: The adrenaline rush for the Heat going from playing the Mavs to playing the Craptors is the equivalent of banging Betty Draper one night, and then Rosie O'Donnell the next.

Denver at Bobscraps: Hellooooooooo 8th seed in the West!

Knicks at Hawks: One of these teams is in the bottom ten in the NBA for points per game, rebounds per game, and has now lost back to back games.....and the other are your New York Knicks.

Bucks at Cavs:   Who better to ask for a preview of this game then my buddy Mike Dunleavy.  Whatcha sayin' there Mike?

My thoughts exactly.

Pistons at Bulls:  They'll say Derrick Rose is injured for this one, but really, he just wants nothing to do with preseason type games.

Grizz at RocketsMemphis has averaged 88.4 points on 41.3 percent shooting during the 11-game skid in Houston  *changes channel*

Celtics at T-Wolves:   Garnett comes home.....only to see Kevin Love threaten to take his spot as one of the great PF's to ever put on a Timberwolves Jersey  (third place is Joe Smith)

Mavs at Magic:  Dallas is going to send Dwight a fruit basket for increasing their chances ten fold for landing Deron Williams this summer.

 Paupers at Jazz: Something tells me that Sacramento's road woes will continue.  Just a hunch.

Nyets at Warriors:  At least Oakland should be relatively warm this time of year.

JailBlazers at Flippers:  Looks Vinny D lives another day


Lakers at Hornets:  Well that's one way to recoup from losing to OKC

Bobscraps at Pistons:  The box score says that there will be a winner, but really, everyone who witnesses this loses.

Cavs at Knicks:  Irving vs Lin, good stuff

Hawks at Sixers:  Put $20 on the Sixers, trust me.

Grizz at Bucks:  Hopefully Mike D recovers from his all nighter in time for this one

Pacers at Spurs:  George Hill comes back to the team that traded him for the guy who is already ten times better (Kawhi Leonard).

Nyets at Kings:  Dud game of the night!

Jazz at Flippers:  I can see the Jazz stealing this one.


Bulls at OKC: Man do I hope Rose plays in this one. 

Heat at Celtics: This has the potential of a first round matchup, and that's just the thing.  It's gonna play out like a first round matchup.  Expect the Heat to win big.

Magic at Nuggs: Hopefully Dwight doesn't let that thin air in Denver get to his head...or maybe it's already too late

Generals at Craptors: The NBA: Where Making Sure You're Asleep by 6 PM Eastern Happens

Pacers at Rockets:  Credit to Bawful reader stephanie g for the "Granny Danger" nickname. Hilarious.

Hornets at Suns:  While I'd love to see Nash get out of Phoenix to move on to bigger and better things, I would hate if the rumors of him considering the Heat turn out to be true.

T-Pups at Jailblazers: Aldridge vs Love always makes for a great matchup....the rest of the roster on these teams......not so much

Warriors at Lakers:  What's the over/under on Bynum attempting another 3 against the Warriors?

Chris's Lacktation Report for Last Night's Games:

Generals-Pacers: Washington's Brian Cook fried up a mushroom in 6 seconds for a Super Mario!

Mavs-Heat: Brian Cardinal crammed in a collection of startups worth 3.05 trillion (183 seconds), while Yi Jianlian bricked twice and took a rejection in 153 sceonds for a +3.

Meanwhile, Miami's Juwan Howard earned 2.55 trillion (153 seconds).

Thunder-Lakers: Troy Murphy muffed one shot attempt in 394 seconds for a +1.

Labels: ,

Sorry this is so late guys, real work and all, blah, blah, blah.

What is Tyler Seguin doing?

Cleveland Cadavers:   With their fifth straight loss and losses in eight of their last nine games, they have mercifully slipped out of playoff contention and won't have the privilege of getting blasted by the Bulls in the first round. They make the Worsties because, any time you lose to the Pissed-Ons by double digits at home, you're on the Worsties. I think it's written into the Basketbawful by-laws or something.

Orlando Magic:  Bleargh. How do you get blown out by they Knicks by 22 points? It's not like they even shot that bad from 3-point land (about 35%). And this is against a team that's missing STAT (I know, addition by subtraction) and Linsanity! Of course, when you've got Superman on your team and you still get outrebounded 49-34, the blame gets laid at one (very large) pair of feet.

Dwight Howard:  Here's a list of Knicks players who outrebounded Howard:

Tyson Chandler  (ok)
Josh Harrellson (who?)
Iman Shumpert (ugh)
Baron Davis (WHAAAA?!?!?!?)

Dwight, you got outrebounded by a fat point guard with a bad back. Have you already started mailing it in in advance of the summer of 2013?

Here's a list of players from either team who had more turnovers than Howard:


To put the poisoned cherry on top of the crap sundae, Howard was also -31 for the game. In only 28 minutes of play. How does that even happen?

Charlotte Bobcraps:  OK, I can understand giving up 40 and 19 to Love. He's a good player. After the game Paul Silas tried to downplay your miserable play against him by insinuating he might be an MVP candidate. Nice way to deflect, coach.

But nothing can deflect the fact that you not only gave up a double-double to Luke Ridnour, you also gave up a double-double to Anthony Tolliver. I know you're tanking to give yourself the best chance to get Anthony Davis, but try to be a little more subtle about it, ok? I mean, shooting at your own basket a la Ricky Davis is more subtle than letting Ridnour drop 14 dimes on you. Show a little self-respect.

Atlanta Hawks:  This is the reason nobody takes you seriously, Atlanta. No matter how many good games you have, everyone knows games like these are just around the corner. At home playing a team without the reigning MVP, you lay a stinkbomb worthy of Pepe LePew. 77 points? Letting Deng, Boozer, and Gibson shoot 24-for-39 against you? That's like a shooting percantage of 224%!!! For crying out loud, you let Scalabrine get an offensive rebound against you! Have you no shame, Atlanta Hawks? At least Knee-Mac continued his streak of scoring zero points in a game, so you've got that going for you. Which is nice.

Joe Johnson - Tellin' it like it is quote:  "Sometimes, we're not so disciplined," he said. "It seems like there's a few guys who don't know their roles on this team. We do a lot of things that don't help us."


Paul Pierce's career in a single snapshot

C.J. Miles:  Hey, Ceej? That 'SF' next to your name in the box score doesn't mean 'Shoot First'. If you end up going 1-for-10, it was probably a good idea to stop shooting way before the end of the game.

Indiana Pacers:  Playing the Nyets, who were down to eight healthy players by the end of the game, Indiana laid a Texas-sized turd on the court. You would have thought that the team who was depending on Gerald Green would have struggled, but instead it was the league's Best Kept Secret that got outscored by 14 in the final quarter on their way to losing by 16.

Danny Granger:  2-for-8 from the field. Four turnovers, fouled out in only 21 minutes of action. Something tells me Granger's agent won't be putting any clips from this game in the portfolio when he's trying to get Danny Boy a new contract.

The D-Fence in Sac-Town:  I can understand Sacremento's defense allowing the Spurs to shoot almost 54% from the field and an even 50% from three-point land, but what in Wide Wide World of Sports was going on with San Antonio? Letting the Kings shoot nearly 55% from the field while Isaiah "yeah, I'm named after him, but my name isn't spelled like his" Thomas roasts you for 28 points and 10 assists must have had Pops throwing eye daggers at the sideline reporter unfortunate enough to have to interview him before the fourth quarter.

I couldn't find a picture of Blake
where he wasn't making this face

Los Suns:  Just an all-around barf-o-rama shooting performance from the visitors. Under 40% shooting from the field, less than 20% from long distance. On the plus side, Nash assisted on half of his team's field goals. On the minus side, he didn't make a single one of his own and his team only made 30 field goals.

 Channing Frye:  Frye was perfect from inside the arc and shot less than 20% from three-point range. So guess how many shots he took from each distance? If you guessed "four two-pointers and 11(!) three-pointers", collect your prize at the front desk on your way out. In honor of Frye's shooting, your prize is a brick.

Blake Griffin - backhanded compliment quote machine:  "They're two of the elite point guards," Griffin said. "Obviously, Steve is older and in his last years, or whatever, and CP's in his prime right now and it's extremely fun to watch him. But it's also fun to see how good Steve Nash still is at his age and how much he helps his team."

In my head, I like reading that quote but imagining that Griffin's voice is replaced by a 14-year old Valley Girl's voice. It somehow seems to fit better.

Chris' lacktion report (aka The Night Sebastian Telfair Scored A +11 Suck Differential Lacktion Report)

Magic-Knicks: Von Wafer built a pyramid worth 5.45 trillion (328 seconds) for Orlando.

Pistons-Cavs: Cleveland's Luke Walton warded off a 11:06 stint with two fouls and turnovers each for a +4.

Pacers-Nyets: AJ Price named his own payday, by bringing home a 3.2 trillion (194 seconds) for Indiana.

Bulls-Hawks: Jason Collins crammed a perfect shot in 13:53, but also collected 3 fouls for a 3:2 Voskuhl.

Spurs-Purple Paupers: Matt Bonner (in 23 seconds) and James Anderson (in 17 seconds) fixed Gregg Popovich's plumbing system as Mario Brothers.


Hornets-Warriors: New Orleans's Chris Johnson jacked up a successful shot (in two attempts) in 13:32 and also made two rebounds, only to lose the rock twice and foul thricely for a 5:4 Voskuhl.


AAAAHHHH!!! Scary Ball!!!!!!!!

Cleveland Cadavers:  Hey, there Cleveland. Tough loss, you know? But you played OK. More assists than turnovers. Didn't totally stink it up from the line. Shot almost 40% from deep. You out-rebounded your opponent. You've got a lot of positives to take from this game.

*takes a closer look at box score*

JODIE MEEKS?!?!?!?!?   The same guy that got one point and one rebound against Boston two games ago dropped 31 on you? 7-for-10 from deep? This guy shoots under 42% for his career and goes 11-for-16 against you?  Cadavers, you have soiled the good name of Cleveland.

Atlanta Hawks:  The Hawks played well in a lot of ways. They shot 50% and outrebounded the Bucks. They had 27 assists on the night and Smoove went off for 30 and 18. They also played crappy in a lot of ways, turning the ball over 22 times (for 25 points going the other way) and made only 10-of-17 from the charity stripe. Another way they played well was keeping Dampier and Collins glued to the bench the entire game. Some coach's decisions are easier than others, I guess.

Minnesota Timberpups:  Remember when Rubio was injured for the season and some people thought that their defense would be more affected than their offense? That might be true, but their offense was pretty offensive tonight. Sub-40% shooting (sub-35% without Love) and only 13 assists (plus only 9 fast break points) will happen when you're depending on Luke Ridnour to lead your offense. Plus, they got abused by the Memphis big men, who combined to shoot 17-for-26. Of course, that didn't stop Love from expressing some passive-aggressive finger-pointing with regards to his non-injured teammates who are being called on to play more minutes:

"I know other guys need to step up and play as hard as they can."

Way to build up your team, Kev!

Grizzlies long-range shooting:  0-11. Not a typo, not a misprint. Just bawful. Can someone check to see if the Memphis guards/wings were in on some kind of point-shaving scheme? They barely shot 30% for the game. Missing two out of every three shots can't be normal can it? Actually, looking at some of their players, I guess it is. Call off the investigation.

Houston Rockets:  After jumping out to a 26-10 lead in the first quarter, the Rockets figured they'd take the next two quarters off, getting outscored 50-31. They might have complained about running out of gas after playing two overtime games in the last three nights, but I can't feel sorry for a team that let the Kings take them to OT. If you can't put the Kings away in regulation at home, you deserve everything you get.

Lamar Odom:  Yes, it was very nice that Odom didn't completely crap the bed, but all the comments about his "breakout" 9-point, 4-rebound performance feels a little....excessive. His coach called it a "great step in the right direction". Sure, you might want to cheer for kids at the Special Olympics like that, but is Odom's ego so fragile that you need to fluff him for a triple-single performance?  (wait, don't answer that).

Phoenix Suns:  Suns take fourth quarter lead, blah, blah, blah, Spurs come back and win, blah, blah, blah, Duncan, Parker, Ginobili are a big reason why, blah, blah, blah, Nash performs well in the loss, blah, blah, blah. Are the Spurs and Suns locked in some kind of weird Groundhog Day scenario where they're forced to re-live the same game every time they meet? At least Michael Redd has been a great pickup (7ppg on 40% shooting).

Portland's "defense":  Hands? Faces? Aren't they supposed to meet somewhere along the line, Portland? OKC's version of the Big Three shot a combined 32-for-47.  LaMarcus Aldridge had a thought about that:

"I don't think we made things as difficult as we could have," Aldridge said. "I feel like they were just taking warm-up shots in the first half."

He's not wrong.

I'm going to hold my breath until Brown
stops benching me
Los Angeles Lakers:  Facing a Warriors team that threw out a starting lineup where David Lee was the unequivocal "star", the Lakers still needed two hero shots by Bryant late in the fourth quarter to slink away with a victory. Of course, it wouldn't be fun without a little drama in LA, and Mike Brown and Andrew Bynum provided:

While Brown and Bryant never made a big deal about the benching, a similar situation is starting to brew. Center Andrew Bynum, who took a 3-pointer with plenty of time remaining on the shot clock in the third quarter, sat for the game's final 9:10 -- and suddenly seems at odds with the coach.

"I don't know what was bench-worthy about the shot, to be honest with you," said Bynum, who had 11 points and five rebounds. "I made one [in Sunday's game]. I wanted to make another one. That's it. He took offense to it, so he put me on the bench."

I made one. So I wanted to make another. I'm a 7-footer who makes 1 out of every 8 three pointers I attempt. But I wanted to make another.

Andrew Bynum and Jeremy Tyler attempt to recreate
the final scene from Requiem For a Dream

Back by popular demand is Chris' lacktion report:

Cavs-Sixers: Nicola Vucevic bricked once in 87 seconds for a +1.

Hawks-Bucks: Willie Green fouled twice, lost the rock once and also contributed a brick in 6:23 to give Atlanta a +4.

Wolves-Grizzlies: Brad Miller scrapped a steal in 2:07 only to brick and foul once each for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Rockets-Mavs: Brian Cardinal and Dominique Jones celebrated another Dallas victory with a 15 seconds Pokemon battle as MARIO BROTHERS!

Thunder-Frail Blazers: Oklahoma City's Lazar Hayward had a turnover and a brick from the US Bancorp Tower in 184 seconds for a +2.

Meanwhile, Kurt Thomas countered a board and assist in 11:10 with two fouls and turnovers each for a 4:1 Voskuhl.

Lakers-Warriors: Jeremy Tyler trashed three boards in 9:33 with two bricks, three fouls, and one lost rock for a 4:3 Voskuhl, and fellow East Oaklander Mickell Gladness botched a two-block night with a brick and a foul for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.



Hey! I think I see a penny!

Now that’s what I call a basketball revolution.  Get ‘em boys!    

The mighty Conrholio Speaks!  But mostly he just stares

Avery Johnson just remembered who he was

Damnit ball, just leave me alone!

The Charlotte Bobscraps:  Sometimes I ask myself if it’s even worth putting this team on here, since they’ve probably been included on Bawful more times this season than anyone else.  But if our goal is to focus purely on comedy then look no further than these guys.  

Playing the Buckaneers, they gave up 72 points in the paint (not a typo). 
How do you let that happen to a team whose best post up player right now is Drew Gooden?  Littering the court with banana peels would have provided better defense than what the Bobscraps could muster.  After witnessing this performance in Charlotte, I’m sure the crowd threw plenty.

"You have to be tough-mined as well as physically tough and if you're not, those kinds of things happen," Bobcats coach Paul Silas said. "You have to be experienced, too, and the majority of our guys are not experienced. We have to learn and we have to get better. That's just where we are right now."

That has to be the most polite way of saying “my team sucks” I have ever heard.  

Speaking of the Bobscraps, to make things interesting, the NBA should entertain the idea of letting them finish out the season in the WNBA. 
At least that way they can battle the New York Liberty for the 4th spot in the east,  feel somewhat competitive, and only give up half as many points in the paint.

The New York Bricks:  Well, if they did one thing right on this night, it was live up to their Bawful nickname.  

When the going got tough, Toronto got going by unleashing the most common of all basketball defenses to stump the Knicks.  

They went zone.

And the results weren't pretty. 

New York shot just 32 of 85 (38 percent) and no Knicks player made more than six field goals.
Everyone knows that one of the best ways to beat a zone defense is to hit your outside shots.  Well, for NY they took plenty, and missed even more.

Going 5 for 28 from 3 point land (a percentage matching Amare’s S.A.T. score for the reading comprehension section), the Knicks were blown out in a game that was never in doubt.

According to the AP, this was also the first NBA game to be broadcast in Mandarin for North America. 

I could just see the job posting when they were looking for potential broadcasters on Craigslist:

WANTED:  Mandarin Speaking Basketball Commentator for the Raptors

Must at least know how to say the following in Mandarin for 2 ½ hours a night:
-       Thats hit the front of the iron
-       He’s coughed it up
-       Offensive foul
-       Raptors have cut the deficit to just 20 now
-       Focus on the draft, gear up for next season
-       Both teams played hard
-       Calderon needs rogaine
-       Bargnani at the buzzer! It’s no good

Contact us now! All applicants welcome!

Detroit Thick Skins:  Well they gotta have thick skin to put up with the type of criticism they must be getting this season.
They got blown out by the cHeat, and were down by as many as 26.  

"We knew exactly how they were going to defend us, but we weren't able to do much against them," Detroit coach Lawrence Frank said. "We kept trying to move the ball through the forest of hands, and they were getting all kinds of tips and deflections.”

He also added “I, nor anyone on the team have any idea what the hell we’re doing out there.  
Hopefully the fans don’t pick up on that”

Judging by the attendance Lawrence, I think they might have.

_allas Mavericks:  Since there was no D whatsoever on this night against the Spurs, as they let them shoot 49% from the floor, the Mavs got smashed 87-104.  Not only was their D pathetic, they only managed to shoot 38% from the floor themselves, blending the best of their 2003 era defense and 1997 offense.

Maybe they shoulda brought back this man to help in the shooting department:

Getting crushed by the Spurs at their arena is one thing.  SA does have one of the top home records in the league, but letting yourselves get your asses handed to you by THIS GUY:

In that case my friends, I can’t let you off the hook.

Ginger Face went off for 14 points, nailing 4 out of 5 from three point land.  He did his best Nowitzki imitation from the perimter, while Dirk did his best Playoff Bonner imitation in the third and fourth quarters.

Speaking of which…

The German Bomber:  And bombed, Dirk did.  After starting the game 4-6 from the floor, it felt like the Spurs were going to be in for another night of rapage from Dirk who was scorching in that first quarter.   

Then San Antonio switched Stephen Jackson as well as Boris Diaw on him. 

Dirk finished the night going a season worst 5-21 from the field.

Dirk saw Diaw guarding him and probably thought he was going to get eaten alive.  Literally.

Lamar Odumb:  Earning the first DNP-CD of his career, this guy finds all kinds of ways to hit a new low.  What was once seen as a huge steal for Dallas at the beginning of the season, has now become a total distraction.

It was already bad enough that his wife wouldn’t let him take off his warm ups in bed, but now the Mavs too?  

*shakes head*

Vince Quitter:  In 24 bawful minutes, he managed to have just as many turnovers as field goals (one) for a total of 3 points.
As a matter of fact, D-League prospect Eric Dawson managed more points in one minute (6) than Vince the Wince managed in 24.
Hopefully Dawson enjoyed his Jeremy Lin moment.           

Minny T-Pups: This game had 95% of an epic story with a happy ending for Kevin Love, who had a career high 51 point night to go with 14 rebounds against the top Western seeded Thunder.

The Wolves, who had lost Rubio a few weeks ago, had no business being in the game. The Thunder allowed Love to shoot 60% from the floor, including 7-11 from 3 point land.

The Thunder tried everything they could to stop him: double/triple teaming, having Ibaka and Perkins smother him, and playing the latest Ringo Starr album at an obnoxiously high volume.

But none of that worked.

So how do you ask, do the T-Pups find themselves in our Worst of the Weekend selection?  Well that’s easy:

Everything fell apart as the Wolves went on to get blasted in the 2nd overtime, getting outscored 11 to 20.

Kudos to Love, but this gem must have made him pretty sore afterwards:

"That's my man, my main guy. Definitely talking trash out there, especially after he hit the one right in my face," Ninja Turtle Westbrook said.

"He said, 'In your face.' He just kept pointing, like, 'In your face, in your face.'"

No Kevin, in your face.

I’m not the only one who felt bad for the T-Pups, after the game Beasley made sure everyone was consoled and taken care of:

Derek Fisher:  *whistles*  What can I tell you.  At first, it surprised many that the Lakers were willing to let go of Derek Fisher to the Rockets just for a decent prospect in Jordan Hill.

Considering how much he meant to the franchise in the past as a veteran leader and clutch shooter, Fisher was pretty butt-hurt for getting traded.

Ladies and Gentlemen, now I give you your 2012 Derek Fisher!

Going 2-11 from the floor, with just 5 points and 3 assists in 36 minutes, Fisher was really killing the Thunder out there.  Bricks after brick after brick.

He’s old and slower than ever, but now you can really see how much Sessions is an upgrade for the Lakers if this is what they had before.  I’m sure Fisher will have better games, but this season has been awful for him as he’s averaging career lows across the board.

Now, some people felt there were many times where he looked like the worst Laker on the floor earlier this season, but I’m thinking what he’s doing now is better for the Lakers than anything else he’s done for them since 2010.

He’s sabotaging the Thunder!

That’s gotta be it right?  I wonder if when Fisher told Houston that he wanted a buyout and was willing to sacrifice 3.4 Million dollars that Kevin McHale popped out of that mine shaft and went “Yesssssss”.

You hope Scott Brooks won’t trust Fisher with that many minutes a night on a consistent basis, but then again, it is Scott Brooks.


Bitch, I’m a YELLOW BELT

Goran Dragic reacts to Dirk Nowitzki spoiling the second season of Game of Thrones

Coach Whittman:  Did you guys know that the longest amount of time I’ve spent with a woman was an hour and 10 minutes?  Keep in mind that also factors in daylight savings.

Yao Ming doing what he did best during his years for Houston: sitting on the sideline in street clothes.

The Grizz:  Well, I am expecting a dead coach bounce effect to happen any day for the Clippers as Vinny finds himself on the hot seat more and more.  Looks like the Clippers got a head start by pounding the Bernstein Bears jumping out to a 33-17 first quarter lead and never looking back.

In regards to Vinny, this is what Griffin had to say:

"Somebody kind of told me what was being said about him, but we're all behind him (especially if Vinny is on the edge of a cliff) and we've got to keep it that way," Griffin said. "I don't know how much we've taken from his personality (judging by their record, probably a lot), but he's an energetic coach and obviously we want to play that way. Sometimes we haven't, but we just need to keep buying in, and everybody needs to believe in each other."

The Grizz have now lost 5 out of their last 6.  If Coach Hollins is aiming for another tank for the 8th seed to face OKC, he’s doing a great job.

The Charlotte Bobscraps: Oh hey Bobscraps! Long time, no see.

In a battle of the impotents, the Nyets and Bobscraps went all out in boring the fans as Williams and co. cruised to an easy 102-89 victory.  Things have become so frustrating for “Coach” Silas that he didn’t even bother to coach this game, instead letting his son Stephen Silas take over.

And in true father like son fashion, the results weren’t any different.

Desagna Diop and Najera missed the game for Charlotte due to injuries….all of their teammates were jealous.

Toronto Craptors:  Playing a depleted Bulls team, the Craps looked like they had the perfect chance to steal a game at the United Center. They were up one, with Amir Johnson at the line shooting free throws with 15 seconds to go.

As expected, Johnson missed both free throws, setting the Bulls up for one last play.

Without leaking the script, I’m sure you can guess what happened:

Bulls post game reaction (via AP):

"We're lucky we had enough time to get the rebound," Deng said. "When it left my hand it felt good because I saw the light after it left my hand. But then again, you never really know. We waited until they made the decision."

Craptors post game reaction (via AP):

Queens/Furriors: Wow, this is a classic.  Calling it an “error filled” debacle to close out the game is an understatement.

From AP Recap:

On any other night, David Lee's 5-second violation in the final moments might've cost the Golden State Warriors a win. It was the kind of head-scratching turnover almost nobody can top.

Except the Sacramento Kings.

Isaiah Thomas dribbled the ball of his leg attempting a crossover against Lee on the next possession, handing the Warriors a 111-108 victory in a turnover-filled finish typical of two teams at the bottom of the Pacific Division.

Look no further than the play by play to get an idea of what happened:

If BasketBawful ever gets James Cameron to put out a film based on this blog, the last 3 minutes of that fourth quarter should garner an academy award.

Bawful favorite DeMarcus Cousins had a monster game of 28 and 18.  However, when the guy you build around makes plays like this on a weekly basis:

It’s no surprise that the Queens find themselves on the losing end of a lot of games.


Here’s my number, I’m in room 321

Kyrie: Why the hell is this guy holding my hand?

Rondo getting into character to play Jaffar in the new Aladdin musical

The Cavadeers:  Well, mama always told me there would be days like these. 

 She just didn’t tell me that they’d be this embarrassing.

The Cavs got blown out by the Suns who trailed by as many as 28.  Shooting just 38% from the game, Cleveland was never even close in this one.  

Marcin Gortat scored the first 10 points, as the Suns just ripped through this one for the easy victory.

"He ate us alive," Byron Scott said. "I don't know if Tristan didn't know that much about him or if he didn't realize that the guy is a pretty good player. Gortat has been playing well all season long."

Wait, don’t all NBA teams have a scouting staff? So you know which players to key in on?  Not saying that Tristan shouldn’t know about Gortat, but you’d think they’d discuss this in the gameplan somewhere? Right?

But then again the words “Cavs” and “Gameplan” have never been used in the same sentence until now.

Denver McNuggets: Instead of focusing on the Nuggs getting their butts whooped, let’s focus on what really makes Denver so fun and exciting this season (even if for all the wrong reasons):

JaVale McGee!

According to here are 21 reasons why you should follow McGee on twitter.  These include his views on health, gender inequality, gangster mothers, owning a DJ Roomba (!), and how Jack n Jill was apparently hilarious:

And we’re not done yet, here’s Javale McGee getting heckled by a donkey:

At this rate he should change his name from JaVale McGee to JaVale Magoo.

Philly 1776’ers:  Prior to this game, Philly’s record in games played in San Antonio was a tidy 1-23 since the 1987 season.

Juding by that statistic, you’d think the Sixers would rename the Spurs arena to “San Antonio’s Bedroom”  since that’s where they like to go when they wanna get f*cked in SA.

And boy, did they ever.

Managing just 41% shooting to a Spurs team playing its third game in just as many nights, the Sixers got blown out in the second half.  Scoring just 27 points in the second half would’ve been great for 1942, but 2012?…..not so much.

I get that the Sixers had no Iggy, but San Antonio played sans Duncan (DNP-OLD). 

The Sixers had to deal with the monstrous frontline for the Spurs that ended up being the Turd Towers (Bonner/Blair). To make matters worse, Philly shot just 45% from the free throw line. 

Looks like those Shaquille O’Neal Free Throw Shooting Kits really do work:


Utah Mormons: You know what sucks more than sitting through 4 quarters of a Jazz/Hawks game?

Sitting through 4 quarters and four overtimes of a Jazz/Hawks game.

This was a game that saw 136 missed shots, 82 free throws, 68 fouls, and 54 minutes of Zaza Pachulia.

And have I mentioned that the teams were a combined 2 of 16 from the field in the first overtime? 

Their combined four points tied for 2nd-fewest in NBA history in an overtime period.

Best news for the Mormons who lost after slugging it out for all those minutes?  

They get to play again Monday night.

Miami cHeat: Well that was awesome.   

The Heat got outrebounded, outshot, and outclassed all the way to a 87-103 loss to the Thunder.
It’s one thing when you let Durant (11-20 from the field, 28 points) murder you, but letting KENDRICK  FREAKIN’ PERKINS go 8-11 from the field?!?!?

Then again, if I saw a guy who looked like this, I’d probably let him do whatever he wanted around the basket too.

In other Heat news, Antoine Walker was forced to sell his championship ring thanks to racking nearly $13 Million in debt.

Life hasn’t been too kind to Walker in recent years. This was the same guy who unfortunately got robbed a few years ago at gunpoint.

If there’s a positive about that story, it’s that it marked the only time Walker didn’t allow his man to get a shot off.

Derek Fisher: His name belongs here because he had just as many points in 18 minutes in this game as I did from my couch.  Not to go overboard with the Fisher looking old thing, but let’s be serious for a second.  On the court this guy looks like he’s just a few weeks away from wearing those old man diapers.

If the Thunder go on to win the championship, you know they’ll play up the whole “veteran presence” angle for Fisher.  

I can just see the tagline for the Thunder Championship DVD featuring Fisher and the rest of the team:

They changed his diapers, he changed their lives.

Should be a Disney film in no time.

Los Angeles Flakers:  Taking on the Care Bears, the Lakers kept it relatively close in the third quarter, but slowly let the game slip away, falling to the Grizz 96-102.

Shooting 40% against a potential playoff opponent just isn’t going to cut it.  Since acquiring Sessions, the Lakers are officially playing .500 ball (3-3 since the trade).

Kobe Bryant getting benched courtesy of Mike B:

Despite the Lakers getting strong shooting percentages from Kobe and Bynum, Gasol’s 4-14, and Metta World Peace Ron Artest going 2-9 is just asking for a loss in the worst kind of way.

Speaking of Ron Artest, I close this novel of a post with a trip down memory lane:

Hope you all had a great weekend.

Chris's Lacktation Report:


Cavs-Magic: Semih Erden bricked once in 8:35 for a +1.

Meanwhile, Daniel Orton dropped a piece of masonry on Lake Eola in 119

seconds and also lost the rock once for a +2 and a 1:0 Madsen-level

Suns-Pacers: Indiana's AJ Price cashed a quick cartridge exchange at

Gamestop for just 8 seconds for a SUPER MARIO!

Nyets-Hawks: New Jersey's Sundiata Gaines had 16 seconds to evade Koopa

shells for a Mario.

Meanwhile, Jason Collins countered 2 boards in 13:45 with three fouls

and two bricks for a 3:2 Voskuhl, and Jerry Stackhouse stacked up 2.7
trillion worth of bank notes (164 seconds).

Heat-Pistons: James Jones hit a jackpot at the MGM Grand with a 7.6

trillion (455 seconds).

Celtics-Sixers: Sam Young earned Philly a cool exact 2 trillion!

Wolves-Thunder: Anthony Randolph lost the rock once in 44 seconds for a

+1 and Mario, while fellow puppy Brad Miller negated an assist with a
foul in 3:46 for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Mavs-Spurs: Brian Cardinal fouled once in 260 seconds for a +1, the

same suck differential Dominique Jones earned in 124 seconds via brick.

San Antonio's Boris Diaw dished out perfection from the field (on one

attempt) and three boards in 15:53 only to foul four times and lose the
rock twice for a 6:5 Voskuhl.

Nuggets-Jazz: Denver's Julyan Stone prospected a cool 2.4 trillion (144


Enes Kanter was musical from one attempt on the field in 7:43, but that

and a board could not overcome two fouls and turnovers in a 4:3 Voskuhl.

Frail Blazers-Lakers: Troy Murphy mired himself in a +1 via foul in 160

seconds that also earned a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Grizzlies-Clippers: Trey Thompkins lost the rock once in 91 seconds to
give Donald Sterling a +1.

Hawks-Generals: Jason Collins provided the dirty birds with 6.2

trillion in celebratory cash (374 seconds).

Bobcats-Nyets: Cory Higgins can buy new shoes   with his 1.7 trillion

payday (102 seconds).

In that same timespan, Sundiata Gaines bricked once for a +1 and Jerry

Smith also collected cash, but in the form of rubles.

Mavs-Rockets: Houston's Courtney Fortson bricked twice (once from

[downtown Houston]) and fouled in 264 seconds for a +3.

Purple Paupers-Warriors: East Oakland's Jeremy Tyler trashed one board

and field goal in 9:58 with four fouls and a turnover to earn a 5:3


Generals-Celtics: Edwin Ubiles was unproductive in 344 seconds with a +2 via bricks for Washington.

Meanwhile, E'Twaun Moore (via foul in 171 seconds) and JaJuan Johnson (via brick in 167 seconds) each earned +1 suck differentails for Boston, and Sasha Pavlovic took home a 2.8 trillion (167 seconds).

Jazz-Hawks: Just because it took FOUR overtimes to resolve this game doesn't mean Jason Collins can't do his normal stuff for Atlanta, managing only one assist in 8:38 that was marred by a near-foulout for a 5:0 Voskuhl.

El (Oh El) Heat-Thunder: James Jones jacked up three bricks, with two earn a +3 in 216 seconds.

Nick Collison was perfect on a singular attempt from the field in 18:34 but fouled and bricked twice each for a 4:2 Voskuhl.  Reggie Jackson slugged one visit to Bricktown in 74 seconds for a +1 - the same timespan it took Cole Aldrich and Royal Ivey to bring home 1.4 trillion!  Also striking it rich was Lazar Hayward with a 2 trillion (119 seconds).

Warriors-Frail Blazers: Jeremy Tyler toiled as East Oakland's starting big man, botching two boards in 8:41 with 3 fouls for a 3:2 Voskuhl.  Mickell Gladness unhappily bricked once and fouled thricely in 238 seconds for a +4 and a 3:0 Voskuhl, and Keith Benson banked a 4 trillion (242 seconds).

Grizzlies-Lakers: Dante Cunningham culled a single piece of masonry in 64 seconds for a +1.

The Lakers matched that suck differential with Troy Murphy's brick from Olvera Street in 305 seconds.

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(Thanks to guest author Matt for today's writeup!)

"Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away. Forever."

Indiana Pacers:  The Best Kept Secret decided to keep their offense a secret in the first half, scoring a whopping 31 points (while letting their opponent rack up a 20 point halftime lead). The bench was a sparkling 6-for-22 from the field (1-for-6 from long distance). Of course, hope was not lost, because they had the good fortune to be playing…

…The Generals:  Who decided that they had done enough scoring in the first half and made only 11 field goals in the second. They gave up three offensive rebounds in the final minute to a guy who had dislocated a finger in the previous quarter. And, in the most General-ly way possible, they lost the game when Wall decided to put up the game-tying shot (which was successful) after the game clock had run out. Enjoy the clip here (fast-forward to the 1:27 mark) -

Fortunately, Wall was kind enough to throw his teammates under the bus, with the following quote:

"I tried to create something," Wall said, "but there wasn't enough spacing for me to create."

I'm not sure what Wall was seeing, since his teammates seemed to be running the four corners offense without the ball. Maybe if he hadn't dribbled from the foul line to 30 feet from the hoop back to foul line in the final three seconds, he might have had time to get the shot off before the buzzer.

Wizards basketball: It's FAAAAAN-tastic!!!!!

The Clippers:  Are they becoming the team we always thought they were, but then thought they weren't, but now we think they are again? Chris Paul does understand that he doesn't still play for the Hornets, right? Maybe he should have done all the fancy handshakes and bro-hugs before the game instead of during (five personal fouls). The Clips did have a three point lead going into the fourth quarter, but then somebody messed with the rims or something, because they shot an outstanding 4-for-23 in the final quarter. Overall, they shot less than 40% from the field, less than 20% from 3-point range, and less than 65% from the line. It's like they decided to be the opposite of Steve Nash.

Jason Smith: 

    Sheesh, I think Smith would have been whistled for two minutes for boarding if he tried this stunt in the NHL. According to Smith, he was just trying to cut off his lane to the basket. You know, by hip-checking him from behind.

DeAndre Jordan:  With the shot clock running down, everyone knows that DeAndre Jordan is the guy you want taking the shot. Assuming, of course, that "everyone" means "the opposing team".  I may not be the best player in the world, but I can hit the rim from three feet away. Alas, that was too much to ask of Mr. Jordan. (yes, I know he hit his other seven shots, but c'mon…)

Golden State:  One game after snapping a four-game losing streak, the Tru Wariers decided there was no time like the present to start a new one. They were only down eight at the half, but were outscored 53-36 in the second half to lose going away. Outrebounded 48-31, nobody on the team had more than six rebounds. To rub salt in the wound, Samuel Dalembert had this to say after the game:

"I saw an opportunity to go in and just go out there and kill them on the boards."

When Dalembert is licking his chops at the prospect of rebounding against you, you know you've got a problem.

Chase Budinger:  0-for-7 in 26 minutes is no way to go through a game against the Warriors, son.

Milwaukee Bucks:  That crashing sound you heard was the Bucks' six game winning streak ending. Of course, since they were playing the Celtics instead of the Little Sisters of the Poor like they had been for the past half-dozen games, it wasn't that much of a surprise. Also not a surprise:  Ellis shooting 6-for-18. Hey, his position ain't "making guard".

Memphis Grizzlies:  Fighting for a playoff spot against a team that had lost eight games this month by double digits (and an average deficit of 20 points in those losses), the Care Bears lost. They did this despite having more points in the paint, more fastbreak points, more rebounds, and fewer turnovers. They just picked a bad time to let Portland make every shot (literally) from the free-throw line. C'mon, Grizzlies, you gotta put a hand in the face at all times. You can't give them that much space when they're shooting from the charity stripe!

Mormon Musicians:  They got dominated on the boards (giving up 18 and 15 to Cousins and Thompson, respectively), gave up 70 points in the paint and went only 3-for-17 from deep. Jamaal Tinsley had the Tinsley-est game ever (3-for-10 with eight assists and one turnover). Down the stretch, they went almost nine minutes without making a field goal, but escaped with a win when Devin "Playoffs" Hester airballed a shot that Jefferson gathered and put in with less than a second to play. Of course, Harris claimed that it was a pass all along. I do that in my pickup games and nobody believes me there, either.

Excremento Kings:  Of course the Kings lost this one. Despite so many stats  (12-for-21) being in their favor, I just can't figure out how they could have let this one slip away  (12-for-21).  Maybe I should take a (12-for-21) closer look at the box score. Hmmm, I wonder how they shot from the free throw line? In a one-point game. I wonder.

Keith Smart:   Assessed for a technical foul in the fourth quarter while your opponent is struggling to score. In a one-point game. That's not smart, Keith!

Darko Milicic:

 C'mon, even you think I'm a bust? Mom?!? 

(Chris: Well, Rick Adelman says so, with the subtlety only a great coach can offer up (courtesy The Basketball Jones) -

“He’s gotten himself out of shape, and I don’t think he’s been as driven as you’d like.” 

Yep.  Darko Milicic, a man with more titles combined than John Stockton, Karl Malone, and Charles Barkley, everyone!!!)

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(Thanks again to Raza for coming through and putting a bit more effort than Quincy Pondexter did on the court last night!!!)

“How much do I suck at my job? About this much!”

Los Angeles Flippers:  Oh boy.  Anytime the AP post game recap starts off with:
First, there was a layup.
Then, there was a 30-foot 3-pointer. Then another layup.
You know the Clippers were in for a long night.  Worst of all it wasn’t like it was an all star in David West  went off on them (just 0-3), but rather it was Leondra Barbosa who had 12 points in just 18 minutes to become the straw that broke the camel’s back.

On the other end of the spectrum it was great to see newly acquired Nick Young make himself comfortable.  He already took the 3rdmost shots on the team going a predictable 5-13.  You can take the man out of the Wizards, but you can’t take the Wizards out of the man.

want to say the Clippers schedule gets easier, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel for them.  It’s just that they play the Thunder tonight, so maybe that light is an oncoming train.

Toronto Craptors:  Well, nobody said the post-Bosh world was going to be easy for them, but then again if you’re glory years involve Chris Bosh, you know things were pretty dim to begin with.  This game was never even close as those classic Knickerbockers led by as many as 23 and move to 4-0, extending the dead coach bounce theory.

"They're a tenacious, different team," Toronto coach Dwane Casey said. "It's amazing, their tenacity, the way they attack. If you don't meet it, they take you out."  

 When you’re the coach of the Raptors, chances are every team looks tenacious and different.

"I think we just didn't execute the way we were supposed to and we got a couple of turnovers in a row," Calderon said.
couple turnovers?  I’m assuming “couple” is Spanish for 17.  Because that’s what the Raptors ended up with.

Ramon Session’s Lakers:  It felt like only a week ago the Lakers made a trade for Sessions, offloading Richard Jefferson’s boyfriend in the process (Luke Walton) and some of the pundits in the Sporting world were claiming the Lakers back to being (near) favorites to come out of the West.

Sessions had a nice game with 14 points and 4 assists in 29 minutes, and the Lakers founds themselves with a 94-85 lead with just 5 minutes left in the game.  The same game where they went off for 40 first quarter points.  So far, so good.

Then Goran Dragic happened. The future Manu Ginobili went off for 16 points and 13 assists to wallop the Lakers into their 2nd defeat in just as many games.

Kinda sad how when I looked at the box score and saw Kobe’s stat line, I initially went “10-27, Kobe had a nice game” only to realize that’s just 37% shooting from the floor.  But hey, after going 3-20 in the previous game, 10-27 is like matching Chamberlain’s 100 points.

Despite a dubious ejection for Andrew Bynum, the Lakers should have won this game with their epic frontline going a combined 17-25.  Except this version of Kobe happened:

From AP:
Bryant, coming off a 3-for-20 shooting night Sunday, went 10 of 27 with two 3-pointers against Houston. He shed the protective mask that he'd been wearing since Dwyane Wade broke his nose in the All-Star Game and says he doesn't plan to wear it again.
"I might donate it, see if anybody's dumb enough to buy that sweaty mask," he said.
Maybe Kobe ought to hang onto that mask, if only to hide himself from the shame of his last couple shooting performances.

Oklahoma City Blunder:  Well, life hasn’t been so kind to the Thunder since the All Star break.  They’ve lost 4 out of their last 7, and found themselves getting outscored 50-20 in the paint to the Mormons of all people.  

Kevin Durant had his worst shooting night of the season going 6-22 from the floor, as well as an un-Durant like 0-7 in the fourth quarter.
Also committing 20 turnovers didn’t help their cause much.

Does anyone else feel like having Scott Brooks at the helm is going to hurt these guys come playoff time?  They still have a great shot at the WCF, but if he’s going to continue to “draw up” 30 foot jumpers for Durant to shoot over multiple defender with the clock running out, the Thunder might have a shorter postseason than expected. 

The Grizz:  It’s happened.  It’s finally happened.  Man landed on the moon, doctors can create artificial hearts, and the Kings have now won 3 in a row thanks to the Grizz!

The Grizz, who have been playing well post All Star break, gave up 37 first quarter points to the Kings (yikes!) and then allowed them to shoot 54% from the floor.
Giving up 32 free throws also stung.

"I got to say that in the first quarter, we gave up 37 points, and that was pretty much the game right there," said Grizzlies guard Tony Allen, who scored 14 points. "They set the tone, and unfortunately we couldn't bounce back."

Well, you know you’re in for a bawful-esque night when you let the Purple Paupers set the tone.  And that’s exactly what happened.

The Phoenix Suns: You know I almost didn’t want to include them in today’s post, because it’s so hard not to appreciate how much Nash has carried this team to an over .500 record.
But when you blow a 10 point lead with minutes to go thanks to a 17-0 run by the cHeat, you will find yourself with some unflattering company.  

LeBron found himself on the receiving end of a nasty collision with Grant Hill late in the game.  

"Never had one of those hits since I had on pads and a helmet," James said. "So it took me back to that moment. I don't know what exactly happened. ... I'm all right. I've been better. I've got a little headache. But I'll be all right."
See Lebron, that’s just 1/100th of what Cav fans felt like the following morning you announced your decision.
Despite Steve Nash having 7 turnovers this game, Spoelstra still had some kind words for him:

Heat coach Erik Spoelstra spent the better part of two days raving about the Suns' play of late, especially Nash. A sampling of the terms Spoelstra used to describe the Phoenix point guard: "maestro," "timeless quarterback," "relentless" and "tireless."
However when asked about his own PG in Mario Chalmers, Spoelstra quipped “No comment”

Tonight’s Games:

Suns at Magic, 7:00 PM: So we can all officially agree no player went from “reasonably likable” to “total douchebag” faster than Dwight Howard this season right?  As cute as it was for him to offer to not opt out for another year, I almost wished he got it over with so we won’t have to go through this InDecision drama next year.

Knicks at Sixers, 7:00 PM: If the Knicks can get a win tonight, it’ll probably be their most impressive one during their recent streak.

Bulls at Craptors, 7:00 PM: You know the attendance is so bad for the Craptors that if you show up 20 minutes early, you get in for free.  Show up an hour early, you get to play for them (and possibly provide an upgrade at the Center position)

Cavs at Hawks, 7:30 PM:  Zzzzzzzzz….

Wizards Genrals @ Nyets, 7:30 PM:  This looks to be a good one.  And by good one, I mean greatest bawful potential of the night!  I can’t wait for next season of Prison Break starring Nene.

Warriors at Hornets, 8:00 PM:  You know, this game was supposed to be in Oakland, but the boos from Mullin’s retirement ceremony were still so loud that they had to move the game to New Orleans….and they can still hear the GS crowd.

(Chris: And speaking of the Warriors, here's an EPIC Bill Simmons piece on their extreme levels of franchise fail since the 1975 title - a title not even won at The Oracle, but at the Cow Palace in San Francisco/Daly City due to scheduling conflicts with an ice skating revue.  During.  The.  National.  Basketball.  Association.  Finals.)

Clippers at Thunder, 8:00 PM:  They say things have to get worse before they can get better.  And for the Clippers it’s been “worse” for about 25 years now. Something’s gotta give for these teams going through a bit of a funk.

T-Pups at Spurs, 8:30 PM:  Anytime you can trade pansy ass Jefferson for a guy who interacts like this with his twitter followers:

You just say yes, and ask questions later.

Pistons at McNuggets, 9:00 PM:  Congrats Denver, during a shortened season, every team deserves a gimme now and again.

Lakers at Mavs, 9:30 PM:  Well, the Brightside for the Lakers is that they have yet to lose to the Mavs this season.  The downside for them is that Dirk is shooting over 50% from the floor (including over 50% from 3 point land) and over 90% from the line for the month of March.  And Kobe is shooting….well do I even have to say it?
Should be a good one.

Chris's Lacktion Report:

Craptors-Knicks: Toney Douglas bricked once and fouled once in 174 
seconds for a +2.

Suns-Heat: Channing Frye burned up one field goal and four boards in 
25:14 with three turnovers and a near-foulout for an 8:6 Voskuhl.

Thunder-Jazz: Nazr Mohammed misplaced a rebound in 13:45 with three 
fouls for a 3:1 Voskuhl.

Grizzlies-Kings: In one of the most lucrative stints on court in recent 
seconds)!!!!  Josh Selby also lacked it up with a brick from Frank 
Fat's Restaurant in 72 seconds for a +1.

Jimmer Fredette produced his own brick from the Esquire Grill in 338 
seconds for a +1.

Bucks-Frail Blazers: Larry Sanders showed how an assist could be made 
irrelevant in 3:40, fouling and losing the rock once each for a 2:0 

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