UPDATE: To all you Kevin McHale lovers out there...I spent my formative years in Boston during a time when you didn't have the full basketball story until you heard it from, first, Larry Bird, and second, Kevin McHale. In the 80's, reporters would flock to Larry, and then Kevin, after a big game. And Kevin never disappointed. So my Kevin McHale expectations are pretty damn high. Doesn't mean I don't like him. It means I expect a lot from him. After being a front office guy for so many years, the relaxed, easygoing, shoot-from-the-hip McHale is now stiff and uncertain in front of the camera. He is not the KM I adored lo so many years ago. I think he has the potential to be great (much in the way that Barkley is great, or in the way Conan O'Brien, who in his first year as a talk show host was awful, became at ease in the limelight, and turned his tall, angular frame into a comedic asset rather than a freak-show detriment). Yes, I'm making fun of Kevin, but it's just tongue-in-cheek. Stay cool, my babies, as Conan would say. My criticism comes from love, and the sincere hope that he can return to being what he once was.

Ok, enough of this smarmy love letter. On to the Live Blog.


Here's your Kevin McHale-style intro to this live blog:
Let's play ball, folks!

Commentators: Kevin Harlan / Kevin McHale

When did Kevin McHale (heretofore referred to as the “personality drain,” and “KM”) become uncool? I remember like 25 years ago he did some promotional appearance at Bank Five in Arlington, Massachusetts, and there was nobody there to see him. I could have talked to him for an hour, but I was a doofy teenager and didn’t have the nerve, and didn’t have anything to say. Now I feel like Kevin and my “something to say” roles are reversed:

His opening analysis? “Both teams want to win this game tonight.” Brilliant.

Celtics Spurs Basketball
Winning! Duh.

God, I still wish I had found the nerve to chat with him 25 years ago, or at least managed to build a time machine so that my 40-year-old self could chat it up with him. Oh, well, today’s Kevin will have to do. One thing I did gain from doing this live blog is the realization that he can be funny and enlightening if you:
- Squint really hard.
- Pay close attention to what he says, then immediately disregard it and make up your own commentary.
- Imagine Bill Walton in his place.

1st quarter

11:05 – Pierce gets called for his first foul for letting Tony Parker run into, and fall onto, him.

10:50 – KG jumper rattles in.

10:11 – KG gets called on a moving pick on Ginobili, who “sells it well” according to the personality drain. McHale points out that Ginobili was voted second-best flopper in the league. I saw that in my Sports Illustrated, so Kevin only gets a ½ point for “enlightening comment.” Number one vote getter in that flop contest? Derek Fisher. True enough, but Ginobili is still the most creative and versatile flopper, and he has the best flop video dedicated to him.

9:20 – Pierce tries to go up for a weak dunk off a rebound. Duncan stops the shot effortlessly, making Pierce look like a runt amateur.

8:54 – Glen Davis with a nice little 8-foot hook shot. The C’s would be dead without his ability to play taller than he is. And his ability to exude emotion that goes way beyond what is necessary.

Celtics Spurs Basketball

7:43 – Rondo hits his second consecutive jumper. Wow. Are the planets aligned or something? Moon full?

Celtics 15 – Spurs 15

Jermaine O'Neal is in the game. Apparently he’s 12 pounds lighter to keep the extra weight off his knees. This may not seem like much, but I recently learned that every pound lost supposedly takes 4 pounds of weight off the knees. Seems like BS – not sure if it’s true, but it sounds good. I was watching some cable show called HEAVY about morbidly obese people trying to lose weight (did you know one-third of all shows on TV are now about morbidly obese people trying to lose weight? True fact), and the doctor told this enormous woman that very thing. Maybe he was just feeding her lines to make her feel better (and because she needed to be fed something). The doctor said something nice to her to encourage continued weight loss, but it would have been so awesome if instead he said something like “You’ve gone from 375 pounds to 345 pounds, Melinda. So before, it was like you were carrying the weight of the Eiffel Tower on your knees, but now, it’s like you’re carrying the weight of a...well...slightly smaller Eiffel Tower.”

Unintentionally dirty KM line of the evening: “I’m excited about O’Neal’s shape.”

4:28 – Parker slices through some we-can’t-play-defense-because-Perk-is-gone-even-though-he-was-injured-most-of-the-season-anyway-and-well-really-we’re-just-using-it-as-an-excuse-to-conserve-energy-and-limp-into-the-playoffs Celtics’ defense.

Spurs 21-17

3:32 – George Hill 3-pointer.

3:06 – Delonte West jumper. Can almost imagine him saying “I’m contributing!” in an over-excited, Downs Syndromy voice.

2:27 – Parker drives, gets foul call. KM is calling him “the best guard finisher since Nate ‘Tiny’ Archibald.” Is KM looking to compete with Bill Walton for the crown of King of Overstatement?

1:50 – Pierce follows a Rondo miss with an aggressive rebound between two spurs, hits the shot, foul call. Pierce asks for new ball to free throw, because it’s wet with sweat. KM provides a wonderful things-most-people-can’t identify-with comment: “Get my golf towel.”

:42 – Rondo with great, hanging up and under layup. KM comments that Rondo is “the best guard finisher since Tony Parker.” No he didn’t. Just kidding.

2nd quarter

11:11 – Ginobili three pointer

Spurs – 36-31

8:56 – Jeff Green follows his own miss. Teammates collectively give him a nice-shot-but-we’re-still-mourning-the-loss-of-Kendrick-Perkins look.

Movie ad Alert: The dragon-and-flagon comedy Your Highness. What is promising: Danny McBride is in it. Not Promising: “From the makers of Pineapple Express.” Marketers are actually using this as a selling point? Did they see Pineapple Express? I did. In the theater. It was a Date Night movie, and I picked it. Paid money and everything. When it was over, I had to look at my wife and say, simply, “Sorry.” So I would revise the ad to say “From the makers of Pineapple Express, but don’t worry – they learned from it, and this is way better, and not 20 minutes too long.”

6:35 – Ginobili makes KG look silly, faking a pass inside around KG’s right flank, turning KG full around, and hitting a layup over him. KM calls it the “Larry Bird Okeydoke” – and says “I always used to fall for that in practice.” I’m starting to realize what KM has decided his commentator “thing” is – self-deprecation. This will come up again later.

4:56 – Rondo goes coast to coast – then gets T’d up for “excessive hand gesturing.” Question: can you give a ref the finger and get the same call? Because I think flipping the bird would really be getting your money’s worth.

4:37 – Nenad Krstic pokes the ball from Duncan. Apparently, he can, in fact, play defense…against old men.

2:19 – The Lord giveth (in the form of Jermaine O’Neal), and the Lord taketh away. Krstic goes down with mysterious, disturbing no-contact knee injury. The other Celtics show zero emotion about the loss. There is a brief shot of Rondo on the bench twisting a needle into the knee of a Nenad Krstic Voodoo doll. I think this development could actually be good for the Celtics – with all their depression over losing the well-liked Perkins, is it helpful to have him replaced by a big, balding, European who plays mediocre defense, good offense, and can hit his free throws? He’s like the anti-Perkins, and a constant off-putting reminder of the trade. Krstic and Perkins are complete polar opposites, alike only in that English is their second language.

Half – 49-49

Halftime comment: My appreciation of Kevin McHale automatically rises ten-fold at the sight of brand new TNT commentator, Rick Fox. His slicked back hair and annoying good looks scream L.A., and yeah, I know he was a Celtic for a while, but he was overrated, and always had that God-I-wanna-play-in-LA look about him. And what kind of world do we live in where appearing on Dancing with the Stars is an effective springboard to career rejuvenation?Although I must admit, I love you, Ralph Macchio.

3rd Quarter

10:58 – Parker drives the lane and finishes for what seems like the tenth time. I’m starting to think his guy is the best finisher since Tiny Archibald.

9:08 – Glen Davis rebounds Allen miss, hits patented undersized-but-somehow-can-finish layup.

Unintentionally dirty KM quote #2: “That was a nice rim-run by Davis.”

8:20 – McDyess leaves with what appears to be an ankle sprain.

7:31 – After great Rondo finish, Parker right back for an And One, getting the foul call on Glen Davis.

6:34 – Bonner hits his second three in a row.

Spurs – 65-61

5:08 – Rondo defensive rebound, full length pass to Green for a lay up.

4:10 – Rondo jumper falls. Startling to see Rondo nailing outside shots. It’s like watching a panda juggle. 67 apiece.

3:45 – Rondo coast to coast, layup under Bonner’s armpit. KM calls it the “Right Guard shot.”

3:12 – Rondo jumper. KM proclaims: “It’s the Rondo show.” This is the same man who essentially said that it’s not a problem that Rondo can’t hit jumpers, because defenders lay off him and give him better looks at driving and passing lanes. Interesting theory, but Rondo is showing that actually hitting jumpers is kind of an effective tool for a guard to have.

1:46 / 1:17 – Jeff Green hits two difficult, contested lay-ups, shows why the Celtics wanted him. He has 8 points…4 of 6 from the floor.

Shot of Rondo sucking wind and drinking water on the bench after carrying the C’s for several minutes.

:14 – Ginobili makes nice move for lay up. KM calls it the Euro-step, which is essentially a side step that looks a little like traveling. KM’s self-deprecation rises from the ooze. “I’d pull a groin if I tried that.” And then adds that if he were an official, he’d be a crap one: “I’d call a travel on that all the time.”

4th quarter

McDyess is back.

Celtics – 79-70

10:40 – George Hill gets called for being out of bounds. He’s out by a foot. KM leans on the self-dep: “Even I coulda made that call and got it right. I’d be a bad ref too, by the way.”

KM notes they’ve put Ginobili on Rondo to put some size on him.

9:46 – Ginobili snakes in for a nice floater. KM: “It's almost Manu time.”

9:15 – Glen Davis and KG lock arms make a giant, football-style wedge screen for Rondo to shoot. KM says: “Look at the big green wall!” and he’s not even at Fenway. Who’d a thunk the C’s would be working to get Rondo to take a jumper?

Celtics – 86-78

7:44 – Allen hits big three. Big for him, as he’s been terrible tonight.

Celtics’ Defense is picking up. Must be the absence of that distracting anti-Perk European dude.

5:15 – Another Rondo jumper. 22 points, 0 turnovers. Not a typo. 0.

4:32 – After Glen Davis jumper to make it 93-81, see a brief glimpse of what appears to be the sexiest Celtics fan ever. Rewind DVR…not as good as I thought, but I was fooled by the form fitting lady-version Celtics jersey. Lady Jerseys. Best. Invention. Ever.

4:20 – Tim Duncan rises over Big Baby, who isn’t big enough to stop a grown man. KM states: “Big Baby did everything he could, besides grow.” Funny. Yay, old-style Kevin. Duncan has 9 in the quarter. Swallows a fly on one of his jumpers.

Celtics Spurs Basketball

4:00 – KG jumper, which is deadly tonight – he’s 7 of 9

2:52 – Pierce drives, misses, rebounds own miss and puts it in. Big play.

2:19 – KG money jumper. Celtics: 99-90

1:46 – KG money jumper: Celtics: 101-92

Unintentional dirty quote from Harlan: “What a stroke for Kevin Garnett!”

1:29 – Rondo to Big Baby for reverse lay up. Celtics: 103-92. Game over.

Duncan called for goaltending. Game overer.

1:24 – Rondo shooting freethrows. KM calls it “Hack a Rondo” time. But Rondo doesn’t touch the ball from this point.

Rondo 22 points, 14 assists, 0 turnovers, 5 rebounds.

The game sign off sounds a little like an Airplane movie bit:

“Good working with you, Kevin.”
“Good working with you too, Kevin.”
“We have clearance, Clarence.”
“Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?”
“Tower's radio clearance, over!”
“That's Clarence Oveur. Over.”


This Division III guy is only 3 inches taller than me. Talented bastard. After his youtube dunk vid went viral, he proceeded to win the NCAA dunk contest. Props, homey.

Oh, and this mass hysteria happened. Hate everybody's behavior in this vid...Blake doing his best Manu Ginobili impression, Terry not letting it go, Barnes being one serious street thug who needs to be in every altercation. After the game, a guy in the parking lot was arguing with a hot dog vendor about the cost of a weiner, and Barnes went out and got involved in that too:

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Blogger stephanie g said...
McHale is a breath of fresh air. Woe is the day when Mark Jackson returns.

Speaking of dirty quotes, a lot of basketball terms or announcer phrases are fun for your inner 12 year old but otherwise innocuous. But how in the world did "facial" become an acceptable, widespread term? Especially coming from Marv Albert and his uh, personal peccadilloes.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
But how in the world did "facial" become an acceptable, widespread term? Especially coming from Marv Albert and his uh, personal peccadilloes.


Oh! A spec-tacular Zing! by stephanie g!

Blogger Sport said...
I love this blog, check it daily. I enjoy every other feature and type of post, but these Live Blogs are beyond terrible. They arent even slightly funny and choosing two "jokes" to simply retread is pointless. Your actual observations are boring and uninspired, which is glaringly obvious since your making fun of Kevin McHale.

I greatly enjoy this blog, its a shame when it goes away from what makes it unique.

Anonymous Koggz said...
speaking of sad perkins, one of those "the association" docs about this year's celtics came on the other day at a restaurant i was eating at. it was a pretty typical chinese restaurant, so the volume was way low and the volume of the patrons way high, but when the segment on the perkins trade came on, the extremity of the sadface on every team members face was so intense that i swear this was a montage of third world country victims.

and i swear there was a few brief seconds where it was all quiet in the restaurant and i could hear the background music of that particular segment, an orchestra of sad small violins. pretty apt i think.

Anonymous ZooTiger said...

Matt Barnes = Pimp

These end of the season games are getting pretty physical.


Also, The Refs felt so bad for Brian Cardinal they let him stay in the game.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
The making fun of Kevin McHale is tongue-in-cheek. I'll always love him, but that doesn't mean I'm going to excuse him for not being what he has the capacity to be. And part of the fun of the live blog is tossing in what the commentators say in response to given game situations.

Arlen, Bawful needed a break and asked for a live blog. He likes them, and others do too. Your comments, ironically, are also pointless, and prefacing yourself with the typical and specious "I love this blog" in no way excuses your being an insulting jerk.

Blogger LotharBot said...
Maybe they left Brian Cardinal in to make up for the Haywood ejection (a youtube commenter says he was ejected for wasting space.)


In other news, today's Salt Lake Tribune headline regarding the Jazz: "Collapse may become historic". According to Elias, no team has ever started 15-5 and missed the playoffs, or been 27-13 and missed the playoffs, but the Jazz are now one loss or one Grizz win away from that (either could happen tonight). So I nominate tonight as "epic playoffs-baby collapse watch" night.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You hate the way the players behaved in the Lakers game and you claim to be a 80s Celtics fan? Whaaaaa?

Blogger chris said...
LotharBot: And we have only two people to thank for this:

Deron Williams and Devin Harris.

CAPTCHA: "laters," as in "Jerry Sloan told his GM, 'laters, y'all' as he decided to make his retirement from dealing with Association primadonnas permanent."

Anonymous Vanilla said...
Arlens right WTF is this Evil Ted shit? A big fight breaks out at the Mavs-Laker game and we get some dumb live blog bullshit about the game nobodys talking about today. Bring back the real dude and get this shit off here.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Arlens right WTF is this Evil Ted shit? A big fight breaks out at the Mavs-Laker game and we get some dumb live blog bullshit about the game nobodys talking about today. Bring back the real dude and get this shit off here.

Hey, cut ET some slack, okay? I've been pretty sick the last couple weeks. I'm exhausted and recovering. He offered to help out doing a live blog, and his efforts have been pretty well-received in the past.

As for the fight, it was mostly a bunch of wussy shit that wouldn't have made people blink in the 80s, but now it's a Big Deal. I say: Yawn. I refuse to let Czar Stern transform me into somebody who freaks out over chippy play.

For the record, the assistant coach who was man-hugging Barnes got what he deserved. Grabbing him intially was fine. Holding onto him after he was walking away? Stupid.

Opinion: Nice win for L.A., but the back-to-backs fatigued the Mavs. They were obviously fatigued in the second half, which effects them pretty strongly, since they're primarily a jump shooting team. Not saying L.A. isn't better, but I don't make much of the blowout. It was close in the first half when both teams could still bring it.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
That ball off the ground cartwheel dunk would have been fucking sick if he made it.

Anonymous Omedee said...
Get well soon, Bawful. I suppose my only question right now is will there be a post about the Lakers-Mavs Battle? Because no brawl is complete without the addition of that Basketbawful flare we've all come to know and love.

Anonymous Batmanu said...
I'll do this Twitter style...

@LotharBot - lmao. Well, that's generally what Haywood does. One of the most expensive backups in the league.

@Arlen and @Vanilla - Chill, we can't get everything we want. Writing this stuff can be tiring and requires a lot of thought and research... especially when you're sick and when it's not the only place you write (By The Horns, anyone?) ET is doing what he can to help. I don't know the set-up, but I'm under the impression that he does it to help. New content is better than no content, I think.

@EvilTed - Although I do prefer the normal set-up, the Live Blogs can be interesting... I just prefer the ones where better teams are playing. Like this one.

@Basketbawful - Get better, man.

#Comment - I just noticed this little excerpt from an article I was reading...

D. Nash suffering through a brutally tough season off the court. To be honest, I wasn't talking about his divorce, I was talking about the fact that every morning, he had to wake up thinking, "Oh my God, I have to play with Vince Carter."

Source: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/110401&sportCat=nba

I thought it was entertaining.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Also, all the haters today are probably pervy Lakers fans searching for video of the fan that was ejected who was 90% chance female, 78% chance in her 20s, 46% chance attractive, 68% chance wearing only underwear, and 37% chance wearing only a top and nothing on bottom. With 84% chance she's Dirk's new stalker and wanted to make sure he was okay after the scuffle.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@AnacondaHL you gave that one some thought huh?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dear Evil Ted,

Thanks to your writing, I'm now not giving any money for this blog.

Oh, wait.....

AnacondaHL - please don't persecute pervs. We need love too. You can tell because we're just outside your window.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Good stuff as usual, ET. And a hearty "screw you" to you, Arlen. Though of course I mean that in the most friendly, non-confrontational way.

You read my mind, Steph G. I was just thinking that last night. "Facial? Really? But doesn't that mean...? Eww."

Oh, and bingo on Pineapple Express. God.

Blogger Unknown said...
It seems not only me who's having problem with this Evil Ted character. Seriously man, whenever I see your name on this blog, I turn away, I can't imagine anyone but yourself enjoys what you have written here.

Anonymous Koggz said...

What the hell? So Barnes gets the suspension and everyone else involved is spared. While I think most of the ejections were stupid and I don't necessarily disagree with a Barnes suspension, I would think Terry would get a suspension if Barnes was to get one too. They said it was due to him escalating the situation, but you think him pushing Stotts added to it?

(BTW, I agree with Bawful, Stotts hugging him beyond the initial contact was idiotic)

Anyway, I used to sure pushing a player, especially one who had no proper footing established like Blake in that situation, pretty much guaranteed suspension. If I don't know questionable NBA ruling, how can I be sure I know ANYTHING?!?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
"Krstic and Perkins are complete polar opposites, alike only in that English is their second language."

I laughed a good minute. Well done.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Jesus who pissed in everyone's cheerios this morning? How quickly you guys forget things like this:

Keep doin' what you're doin', ET.

- - -

Nice, original dunks by Taylor.

Alas, he does not even have a profile on DX, thus I don't think we'll be seeing him in the NBA.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Evil Ted -- I guess the lesson is, as always, you can't always please everyone. Keep doin' what you do; there's quite a few of us who enjoy it just fine.

Bawful -- Keep on working your way back to full health. It's hard enough to work a normal job AND write your Bulls blog on top of this, but especially when you feel down and out. I personally have had to take a few nights off lately because I've bowled a ton lately thanks to some tournaments (and shot an 800 series and a 300 game in the past week or two, I've been making a few bucks!), but more importantly one of the people in my department at work quit a couple weeks ago, so things have been a little stressful lately. So even though I haven't been sick lately really, (just got over a nasty cold I had in early March) I have been pretty worn down as well. Figure I'm better off getting lazy now and preparing myself for the playoffs, right?

kazam92 -- Glad to see I'm not the only person who laughed a little too hard at that "second language" bit.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
If I go to a free blog and don't care for what I read, I go to the next thing. I don't actually take time out of my day to dole out hostility. Basketbawful has often said I have a singular ability to piss people off, but honestly, there has to be something else going on here.

Wild Yams and I went at each other pretty relentlessly a while back, and I wouldn't be surprised if all these mysterious, needlessly hostile posts have something to do with it.

Yams, feel free to read, post, enjoy, and I won't come at you anymore. Or ever. I promise.

I'm sure Vanilla and others will now post that "I'm not Yams," but there's no real way to prove that.

Just relax, people. Go to a movie. Home improvement job. Something.


Blogger senormedia said...
"alike only in that English is their second language."

Keyboard. owed.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
i love your style evil ted!

i was watching the game live on leage pass ( i am from europe ) and mchale used the
"the whole world starting to look better if a shooter makes a basket" line like 5 times on ray allen alone and several other times. should have added that as well XD

Blogger Will said...
ET- why don't you and 'bawful hatch a plan where you write-up a post, 'bawful submits it, and we see if another shitstorm is started. I would love to see how people like Hillsolo would react to this hypothetical post. For the record, I have no problem with the work you do.
On another matter, how can you claim that anything about Your Highness looks promising much less Danny McBride. Dude is the biggest one-trick pony since Michael Cera.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Anon - Thanks. I do remember McHale saying that quite a few times.

Senormedia - Gotta admit...the "second language" comment was my fave too. I grinned and hugged myself when I wrote that.

Will - Nice idea. Could try that sometime, but frankly, I'm not sure I need to go all cloak and dagger on this beyotch, I just want the foolishness to stop. I actually feel like people are accountable for stuff they write, even anonymously on the Internet. I know, crazy notion. The crap-thrower(s) aren't going to get rid of me, of course, but I do appreciate the support from those who enjoy what I do.

Perhaps the best thing is for people enjoying my stuff express themselves so I don't feel the need to lash out at these fools. Something simple as a "Good job" is greatly appreciated...


Blogger Evil Ted said...
Oh, and Will, I do admit that Danny McBride is a one-trick pony, but damn if I don't really enjoy that trick.

Cera's one-trick too, but when used properly, he can be gold. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World? Nifty. Yeah, the star was the movie, but he didn't ruin it, at least?

But...I'll have to agree with you, the movie does look like trash from top to bottom.

Blogger Sport said...
EvilTed, I'm sorry. What I wrote was hostile and I regret it. It was indeed pointless and not in the least bit constructive. There is no excuse for simply criticizing while offering nothing of value.

Thank you for filling in for Bawful and no matter what some content is indeed better then no content.

You are obviously a sharp guy and understand the subject which you are writing about. That is the core of what frustrated me about the entry. I don't understand the appeal of a live-blog, I think you could have written a recap much more effectively. Are you happy with the way you described the fourth quarter?

There were plenty of statements which I enjoyed, and that was obviously the most glaring omission from my original comment. At the end I felt as though the game had been overly simplified, which caused me to become frustrated.

I realize it has lost some meaning at this point, but nonetheless, nice job. It takes courage to publish any kind and take feedback about it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I follow this blog very closely but usually don't comment, but I have to say this to balance out the haters:

I enjoy your stuff an awful lot Evil Ted, especially your videos. Keep doing what you're doing. Same goes for Basketbawful, Dan B. and all the other contributers of course. I don't know if I could enjoy the NBA game as much without this blog. All the hypocrisy and the drama would probably piss me off way more.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I thought the live blog was good. Maybe a bit more game detail would be better? I wouldn't say you should copy Simmons (god knows the best thing about this blog is its 6x weekly update!) necessarily though.

Anonymous EL said...

You like you say that the blog is free hence stfu and leave if you don't like it, you have done it a few times.

But people write blogs for two reasons - to make fame/money and to stroke their own ego (some say to communicate with like minded people, but that's really a subset of reason #2). Either motivation makes them fair game you know? Not to mention comments are invited by the blog owner himself.

Unless, he only opens up comments for the circle jerks, but I don't think so.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
EL - Being "fair game" does not excuse, justify, or add value to pointless hostility. Never has. Never will.


Takes balls (or at the very least courtesy) to say that, so thanks.

As for being sharp, I consider myself a sharp comedian, but not a sharp hard-core all-around NBA academic. I would not be an effective daily contributor without lots of work, so I contribute when needed or inspired. I am a Celtics fan, so I generally try to relegate myself to them and the teams that revolve around their universe.

The live blog is a recap of a game from my perspective, noting thoughts that go through my head from moment to moment. That's it. Stretches of it are just placeholder here's-where-we-are-in-the-game material. Skip it / scan it. Long paragraph means "Evil Ted had some thoughts that are amusing (to him, at least), so there might be something worthwhile here." If you're looking for my live blog to cure your cancer or clear up that rash under your right armpit that has been lingering for weeks now, sorry. It won't do that.

As for the 4th quarter, I was watching a late-night DVR of the game, and by that point I was finished (and the game seemed to just fritter down to nothing - coulda been the exhaustion).

Thanks again for the apology. Most people would ferociously stick to their guns to retain some sort of imaginary Internet cool status, but you listened and responded thoughtfully, and I appreciate it.

Maybe next time you can communicate your fiery loathing of my work in a different manner ;)


Blogger Evil Ted said...
You hate the way the players behaved in the Lakers game and you claim to be a 80s Celtics fan? Whaaaaa?

You are right Anon. I was not being intellectually honest with myself. The best 80's Celtic moments were when things got heated and physical. I retract my comments of said incident.


Anonymous Phil said...
I appreciated the live blog very much and found it entertaining, but... 1. I love Kevin McHale and wish that he and CWebb would be permanent fixtures on every NBA broadcast. His dry wit is second to Bird's. 2. I love Pineapple Express (my wife and I saw it at the theaters twice) despite being straight edge and a non-stoner. It was this generation's Midnight Run.

Keep up the entertaining and reliable work.

Anonymous Karc said...
Too much love and forgiveness going on here. NEED MORE HATE!

Ugh, I'm feeling the pre-playoffs lull, too. I can't really come up with anything more than that. I went through April Fools' yesterday and only had one Rebecca Black prank (cause it was on a "Friday, Friday"). I actually let it go.

Blogger Zack said...
I realized this morning that Basketbawful is now the first site I visit when I want to catch up on what happens in the NBA.

Great work all of you, and keep it up!

Also, don't feed the trolls

Blogger Evil Ted said...
I take back my taking back...To try to compare grown man Larry and Kevin punching Laimbeer and clotheslining Rambis to mini-men blake and terry and barnes snipping at each other like Chihuahuas is not a valid comparison...and as for "Friday", this happened. Awesome:


Anonymous reggyray said...
good piece dude, ignore the couple of people who bother to bag a free blog. quite a few amsuing lines, particularly enjoyed Glen Davis' 'patented undersized-but-somehow-can-finish layup' - he really does seem to make a whole lot of those shots, doesn't he?

Anonymous Aaron said...

Blogger Lord Kerrance said...
While it seems the fire is dying out, i want to make sure to thank ET as well. There are enough gems here to make me think this would be awesome if it was done regularly

Anonymous Jon L. said...
This was a good win for the Celtics over a great team in San Antonio even though they have been slumping.

Anonymous Vanilla said...
Evil Ted, yo man sorry to rip you like that, I didnt even read what you wrote.Just wanted to see what everyone thought of the fight since that was the awful thing of the night. My bad

Blogger zyth said...
Eddie Curry to Miami? I mean... just wow if it turned out to be true

Anonymous EL said...

Re: Being "fair game" does not excuse, justify, or add value to pointless hostility. Never has. Never will.

Agreed. I was only referring to the STFU stance, that's all. People say foolish things, you ignore or respond as you like, but telling them to STFU because you didn't pay misunderstand the very nature of blogs completely. It wasn't directed at you, by the way.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Watching the end of this Sixers-Bucks game. So much fail.

Anonymous Barry said...

Blogger Evil Ted said...
EL - I don't tell people to STFU. I just tend to engage them and hold them accountable.

My efforts reveal things like Vanilla didn't even read the post. Holy. Shnykies.

Thanks Barry. And all caps no less.


Anonymous Barry said...
Well, I feel in this part of the internet jungle, you've got to resort to relevant pop culture references and big letters to get a point across.

Eddy Curry to Miami could be pretty awesome, in a Meerkat Manor-observing way.

Blogger Will said...
zyth- are we sure someone didn't pull a fast one on old Adrian the day before.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
If we really bring in Eddy Curry.....I can't even think of a joke. The thought absolutely sickens me.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Basketbawful is a great blog and i liked the live blog as well.

All the negative stuff is good for nothing. its free, fun and (almost daily) and for the 2 years i read this, i've enjoyed reading every time.

So let's just enjoy the ironic and sarcastic writing with a nice stroke of madness. love it!

Blogger Will said...
Mike Tirico just remarked how Wince Carter is getting a lot of garbage minutes this game. By my count that makes it 1939 garbage minutes this season alone for him.

Anonymous Karc said...
Lakers white + ABC = instant loss

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Check out Mozgov getting Mozgov'ed!

Dan B: I expect to see this as the #1 pic on Monday's B.A.D.


Blogger LotharBot said...
Bawful from Lakers-Nuggets:

Kobe missed as many shots as Gasol and Bynum took, combined. I hear ignorant commentators sometimes say JR Smith can shoot you into games or shoot you out of games, but he doesn't ever get enough attempts to shoot his team out of games. Kobe actually does shoot his team both into and out of games; that's what happens when you get 27 attempts and sometimes convert 20 and sometimes convert 10.

The Lakers get great rebounding from their bigs, but almost none from their guards and small forwards (other than Kobe.) The Nuggets get weak rebounding from their bigs, but their guards and small forwards get it done -- their two sub-six-foot pgs (Lawson and Felton) combined for eleven rebounds, which is more than all six of the Lakers' non-bigs combined.

Speaking of rebounding, Odom choked when it counted, failing to box out Kenyon Martin on a free throw miss near the end of the game, which allowed the Nuggets to go up by 5.

Nuggets bane right now is free throw shooting. 12 misses -- including 6 by Danilo Gallinari, who is supposedly near 90% but went 5-11 from the line tonight, and 4 total free throw misses in the final 20 seconds of the game.

Anonymous Chuck said...
Denver could realistically finish their last six games 5-1. If they sweep OKC and the Thunder drop their game against, say, the Lakers, thats a 3-3 finish. Denver would have homecourt advantage. Who saw that coming?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Shaqtus comes back and goes down. Har har har.

And with Eddy Curry looming (at the buffet table) Damp drops a 10-14 and Big Z's corpse had 11, which marks the first time the Heat got production from a Center since the Bush administration. Now if we just threaten Chalmers and Bibby with Jamaal Tinsley, we're set

Blogger LotharBot said...
Chuck: "Who saw that coming?"

Denver fans have been talking about it since the first week of March. On March 4, the Nuggets were 2 games back of the Thunder for the 4 seed, and of course the teams face each other twice here in early April. The one thing we didn't see coming was both teams going on a roll and keeping the margin at a couple games. I thought for sure the Nuggets would have a slight lead by now.

At this point, the Nuggets would need to finish 6-0 (including 2 over the Thunder) and have the Thunder lose one more game (probably @LA) in order to take homecourt. It could happen, but it's unlikely.

Whatever happens, Nuggets-Thunder is going to be a quality first round series that deserves to be a second round series.

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
@LotharBot - Lamar did box out Kenyon...while getting pushed almost completely under the basket. Man's game, Lamar. Of course, Pau should have been in front of Martin and Lamar in front of Gallo, so that brain fart is on both of them.

After Pau came back from tweaking his knee early in the 3rd quarter, he was basically a worthless lump on offense, routinely getting stripped whenever he got the ball in the post. So I understand why Kobe did what he did, especially after Bynum never came back after tweaking HIS knee early in the 4th...smh

Blogger stephanie g said...
It doesn't matter if Shaq goes down, they still have JO! /troll

Blogger tonious35 said...

Especially when you are a scrub team beating a team 20 games over 0.500.


Blogger Preveen said...
Kazam : They better do something. 3-10 combined on the night from the PG position.

PS. Enjoyed the post ET. Ahh, Airplane. Had to find that clip on youtube for some giggles after being reminded. The second language made grin. I have no idea what Pineapple Express is. But I disagree on Davis's layups. I'm sure that he must be the player with the most blocks against in the NBA. I'm a big fan of his play, but really, his offensive game does suffer from getting rejected so much.

Blogger Bing said...
What is the point of Shaq? Celtics should make him pay back his vet's minimum.

Blogger TeamD said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Erick "what am I doing here?" Dampier had 10 and 14. Well eff me if that isn't what the Heatles needed from him all season long. Shame it was only the Nets...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Eh, there's a major problem with Simmons' latest article, I wouldn't put it in the "fucking awesome" category.

He goes into detail about how having the 8.5 man rotation is ideal, and how Amar'e's knees mean they have to win now, but then turns around and tries to defend the Melo to NY trade, saying always trade coins for paper.

Uh, before the trade, NY was, in fact, very close to this 8.5 man rotation, and were set to win now, and they blew it up while simultaneously undercutting their #1 player with The Man issues.

Blogger Dick Sullivan said...
From the AP Recap

"The playoffs are a whole different level. It's a whole different monster," Aldridge explained. "We can't think that just because we beat them that it's going to be easy."

Um, as someone who's been watching the Mavs for several years, Lamarcus, I think maybe you can think it's going to be easy.

On a related note, I am on 24 hr. suicide watch.

Blogger Wormboy said...
I can't express how happy I am to see Denver doing well. As an ex-Seattle homer I grew to respect Karl, even though he's had some tough stints since. Plus, I like to see a guy come back from brutal health problems. Three cheers for you, George Karl. If nothing else, people will appreciate what a good coach you are now that you're not laden with ball hogs. Bully!

"Eddy Curry to Miami could be pretty awesome, in a Meerkat Manor-observing way."

Nice. I LOLed. The Heat's mean body fat % will increase by a couple of points if Curry joins the squad.

Who is surprised by Dampier hustling now that his job is on the line? That's a one sentence description of the man's career. I am still convinced that if he is a starter on that team, he will cost Miami a title, this year or next.

Blogger LotharBot said...
> "I understand why Kobe did what he did"

So you're saying Kobe's large volume of shots was a result of Gasol/Bynum's injuries?

But Kobe took over half of his shots in the first half of the game (6-15), when Gasol and Bynum were healthy. Gasol and Bynum combined for 12 attempts in the first half, and at least 3 of those were putback attempts. So the point still stands -- Kobe shot a huge volume, and his bigs didn't get nearly as many attempts as they maybe should have.

This is coming from a Nuggets fan who watched the same thing happen game in and game out with Carmelo. Nene and Afflalo are top 5 in the league in TS% and efg%, but Melo averaged more fga per game than the two of them combined.