Ryan Hollins recoils in fear that he might accidentally make a contributory basketball play

While discussing Byron Scott's head-scratching move to start Ryan Hollins in consecutive games, DocZeus noted "I guess its cool that we now know how a person with no discernible basketball skills would play like if they were suddenly tall." A lightbulb went off! There's the answer. Ryan Hollins is starting for the Cavs because Dan Gilbert has a $1 bet with a mad scientist that he can make some random scrub into a successful basketball player just by making him tall. It's like a sci-fi version of Trading Places with a little Big mixed in for good measure.

Link I absolutely must share: what if Gus Johnson gave us his commentary on great moments in history?

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Tony Allen, huge Monty Python fan

Tony Parker and Danilo Gallinari, huge fans of Ghost

"Why isn't anyone using a picture of me for that 'Come at me, bro!' meme??"

Pops has had just about enough of this shit.

All The Games:
Timberwolves at Mavericks, 8:30pm: The Mavs are looking to win 18 of their last 19 games. The Timberpoops are missing Kevin Love. What's the point in even previewing this game? Oh, that's right, I have a good reason. I need to share this stat: "The Timberwolves have been outscored by 19.5 points during their skid while committing 20.3 turnovers per game, raising their league-leading average to 17.2." Damn, people. You do realize you're supposed to pass it to the guys wearing the same color jerseys as you, right?

Hornets at Jazz, 9pm: Remember just a couple months ago when the Jazz were a playoff caliber team? Man, that seems like it was so long ago... Damn you, Devin Harris! I'm sure it's all your fault somehow.


Anonymous Adam said...
How didn't this video make it on here?


Let's put the Rose vs Rondo debate to an end once and for all.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
The fact that there are still no comments tells you how significant this night is in the NBA

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Who the hell put Minnesota on a Thursday night? Did Kurt Rambis see someone in the league office murder a hooker or something?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Rondo doesn't even sniff my top 5 now. His offense has regressed badly and you cant be a top anything if you can't close out games. Maybe he's banged up, but that does not excuse plays like that.

Rose, Westbrook, Paul, D-Will, Nash. With his shortcomings, Rondo is still amazing at what he CAN do, but again I take major issue with being a liability in the 4th quarter

Blogger Wormboy said...
It's worth reminding folks that George Karl was a good coach in Seattle. You know, before Shawn "The Man Child" Kemp starting drinking the night before playoff games. He coached a team that won two games from the best team ever in the Finals. I can't help but wonder whether the presence of prima donna all stars has tarnished his reputation.

Oh, and stephanie g: Carmelanoma? Good god, woman. You rock.

Blogger Doug H. said...
A slow night, so I'll leave this for commentary:

Lebron James, '10-'11 Miami +/-: +9.3 on-court, -1.6 off
Lebron James, '09-'10 Cleveland +/-: +10.5 on-court, -5.5 off
Lebron James, '08-'09 Cleveland +/-: +13.7 on-court, -7.3 off

Anonymous Aaron said...
the game between jazz and hornets is really strange. i am just watching the last bit of it. In the final minute, David West scored on a dunk but went down hard. he was screaming but the game was not stopped! playing 5 on 4, the jazz somehow managed to look lost and could not capitalize. talk about bawful!

then in overtime, jazz fouled some white guy (hey, i don't watch the new orleans) twice. the announcers kept saying this guy was a 50% FT shooter and yet he made 4 straight FTs. strange strange strange.

Blogger Mr. Satan said...
I hope that wasn't a career ending injury that David West suffered.


Best of luck to that dude.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Can you please re-activate Footbawful? I love your posts in Footbawful! please?

Blogger The Sports Hayes said...
Rondo can't shoot for shit and his defense isn't that great either. How he was ever compared to Rose or even Jason Kidd in his prime I'll never know.

To be fair, he's played the most minutes since injuries (West) and incompetence (Robinson, Bradley) have limited his break time. Maybe this is the result of him breaking down from the wear and tear.

Either way Rose is by far the better point guard and there's nothing anyone from Boston can say to change anyone's mind.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Poor David West. Dunk on somebody like that THEN get hurt

The Jazz have to be cursed though. That Okafor shot....

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm not sure what the fuss is about Rondo, we weren't under any misconception that the guy could shoot the ball before. He's a total liability late in games when he can't be relied on to make free throws (is there a better situation for an opponent trying to give quick fouls to stop the clock and claw back a lead than a point guard who hits less than 3/4 of his free throws?) and can be left open on plays.

If Rondo is serious about his career, he should spend 4 hours a day this summer just shooting jump shots from the free throw line and out. I'm sure Ray Allen can help too!

Still, at least the Celts got Troy Murphy, right?

Anonymous Flud said...
Tony Parker's permastuble makes him look like a coal man. "Le fuels du foss-ill? formidable!!"

WV : rumenes (Tony will sleep with your wife in many rumenes in many hotels)

Blogger Wormboy said...
I thought Hollins was kept to the bench because of spectacularly bad pit odor. Or maybe some heinously ugly tumor or infection he has there.

Blogger Murcy said...
@anon RE: rondo. read celticsblog, the fans there usually proclaim rondo the best PG in the league oftentimes accompanied with the words "by far"

wv: winedles. if shawn kemp winedles, karl might be known as an even better coach

Blogger Bakes said...
51-50 at the half, Heat over Sixers. For Philly, 7 players have scored:

Iguodala - 6
Brand - 4
Hawes - 4
Meeks - 6
Holiday - 7
Williams - 12
Young - 11

For the cHeat?

James - 14
Bosh - 14
Dampier - 4
Wade - 19


Fucking pathetic.

wv: diblaymp as in "Hey Tattoo, do you see 'de plane, de plane'?" "No boss, I'm too busy looking at diblaymp!"

Blogger Bakes said...
Oh and just for a quick comparison:

8:48 left to go in the 2nd quarter between Memphis and Chicago. Memphis already has 7 players who have scored, Chicago has 8.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Pookie's statline tonight gave me wood. Excuse my French

Blogger Caleb Smith said...
@aaron - "some white dude" is Aaron Gray, formerly of the Chicago Bulls.... also known as the "white panther." Seriously.
I love me some white panther.

Anonymous Kashan said...
Perkins trying to show a little manlove to Serge Ibaka.


Anonymous Anonymous said...
Spurs were up 96-90 and had the ball with 38 seconds left. Blazers won 98-96 (ouch).

Anonymous Magnum said...
The Spurs don't usually lose game due to poor 4th quarter execution. The Spurs go up 96-90 after a Manu 3 with 1:21 left in the game, but then just fall apart.

Andre Miller gets an easy layup.

Manu airballs a 3 pointer.

The Spurs get a defensive rebound, but Andre Miller steals the ball from Parker at midcourt then scores.

Manu coughs up the ball trying to dribble out the clock, the Blazers take it the other way and eventually get 2 free throws from Nic Batum.

Spurs call timeout with .9 left to advance the ball. For some reason, Steve Novak, who hadn't played to that point, is the inbound man and he throws the pass out of bounds.

Then, in a lesson how to not defend a sideline out of bounds play, the Spurs allow Batum to run uncontested to the rim for the winning lob.

Anonymous Magnum said...
Another (almost) Spurs fail: On the fateful inbound play the Spurs nearly put 6 guys on the floor and only just got the extra guy off before the ref put the ball in play.

And a quote of the night

Popovich was asked about the [inbound] play’s execution.

“Yeah, we wanted to throw it straight out of bounds without anybody touching it,” he said


Anonymous Wave said...
Did the Cavs win last night?


Blogger winnetou said...
In a game in which the Suns lost Carter "to the stomach flu at halftime" and Gortat broke his nose in a collision with Nash, Robin Lopez managed to play less than four minutes which the nba.com game recap summarised as follows:
"Suns center Robin Lopez might have had the worst stat line of the season. Playing just four minutes, Lopez had no points, four fouls and a technical foul while complaining about an over-the-back call. Even after the Suns lost Gortat to his injury, the Suns stayed with a small lineup to match the Hornets."

Anonymous Nick said...
Wtf is going on with the Celtics? Do I have to be worried?

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Is it time to panic in Boston yet? Losing to Charlotte at home blowing a 13-point lead in the 4th? This version of the Celtics isn't scaring anybody..

And the Craptosaurs give up 138 points to Golden State? Sweet merciful Jesus. Might have to wear a paper bag to the Cleveland game.

Blogger Wormboy said...
Well, it should be said that a great PG doesn't necessarily score that much, just breaks down defenses and makes all of his teammates far better offensively. And, he prevents the opposition PG from doing the same.

But Rondo falls short by that definition. Because while he makes stunning penetrations, can finish at the rim and sets up teammates, etc, he turns the ball over frequently (which a great PG should not do). He's not a great one on one defender. And while he makes lots of steals, I've always been very suspicious of that as a rating of defense, because most steal attempts by definition leave a potential gap in your defense if you fail. Iverson was good at stealing as well, but was he a good defender? No. So some stealers do it without undue risk to their teams' defensive schemes, and others sacrifice their team defense for personal stats, in a Chamberlain-like manner. I can't say which Rondo is. I like the guy. He is a good PG who adds a critical element on a team that suffers defense droughts; they need his creation. But with the poor shot, the poor FTs, average defense and too many turnovers for a PG, he can't even be in the best PG discussion. His rebounding is stellar for a PG, of course, but that's icing. It's the one thing you DON'T need from a PG.

I'll go further. For similar reasons I don't think Jason Kidd should be a hall of famer. He was never great defensively, and his shooting percentage was always a liability. Players simply forget that a miss is like half a turnover. If you shoot with appreciable volume at low percentage, you are harming your time.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Well Wormboy I agree with what you said, except the Jason Kidd part. Despite his lack of a reliable jumper for most of his career, the (shocking) fact is he's 3rd all time in threes. He took some average Nets teams to the finals (admittedly weak East) and his continued play at an advanced age is laudable. He's arguably 1st ballot.

Blogger LotharBot said...
Some guys get their steals by trying to jump into the passing lanes. When they get the steal, it's a breakaway, and when they miss it, they're out of the play and it's usually an easy score for the other team. Iverson was in this category.

Other guys get their steals by playing good fundamental defense, staying on their guy, and getting a hand on the ball when the offensive player gets a little careless with it. They get steals from double teams. They get steals by putting pressure on the offensive player and getting him to make a mistake. The Nuggets' Ty Lawson does this; he's averaging close to 2 steals per game since the Melo trade.

Rondo is kind of in between. Some of his steals are the result of good tight defense, and some are the result of leaving a guy open to play the passing lane. I'd be careful not to overrate him due to the high numbers, nor underrate him due to the fact that steals don't matter. He's an adequate defender, but not a great one. And, of course, the turnovers, poor shot, and poor FTs take him way out of the "best pg" discussion.

Anonymous jj said...
wow as a pistons fan i hate seeing chauncey not helping this knicks team..

Blogger Unknown said...
so robin and brook lopez are supposed to be identical twins, but their games are definitely not. Brook is like arnold schwarzenegger, and we are stuck with the danny devito, skill set one. last night in the game against NOLA he actually at one point had 4 fouls in 3 minutes, oh and old man carter, I think is a terminator from the future sent back in time to keep steve nash from getting assist by jacking up stupid shots

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Why does Phoenix even toy with starting Lopez? Just give Gortat the job already.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Derrick Rose in God Mode right now. Oh my goodness. Sheer, unstoppable, unbelievable dominance. NBA Jam mode. Can't miss. Perfect from the line. 16 assists.

This guy is a freak. If he plays like this in the playoffs, Bulls are a lock for the Finals.

Anonymous Jacob said...
Uh Joseph... Brook looks like nothing but a goddamn eye sore. Watch one of his games sometime. Awful. Just awful. Tonight featured a lovely 6 pts and ZERO: read that: *0* Rebounds (in 31 min of PT).

He is a 7ft "big" that rebounds like a grandmother in a wheelchair. His offensive game is vastly overrated, and don't start me on his 'defense'. Besides, "the Lopez twins" sounds like some porn featuring coked out hookers waiting to happen. Both of those guys are jokes.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I'll give Rose props. No Iversonian ststline today. 30-17 on 50% shooting is nothing to scoff at even if it was against the Deer

Blogger chris said...
with a no-hope arena "plan" rejected by the maloofs...i gotta wonder if anything will stop the assocation's desire to reward bad ownership (like it has rewarded sterling) and job this region for decades to come.

it just blows my mind that right before the stern era, this same league enacted the stepien rule to protect teams from bad management. i am surprised this hasn't been repealed yet, to encourage big markets to get a decade's worth of lottery picks from struggling teams.

Blogger LotharBot said...
If I'd told you before the Melo trade that the Nuggets would win the same number as the Knicks lost over the next five weeks, what number would you have picked? I'm guessing most people would've picked about 5 Knicks losses to go with 5 Nugget wins, especially given how many sub-500 teams the Knicks had on the schedule.

Instead, the Knicks have lost 12 (winning 7) and the Nuggets have won 12 (losing 4). Wow.

Blogger Clifton said...
Marcin Gortat, quote machine.

On having his broken nose reset without medication: "It was my fault. I should take an injection. It was painful. I don't want to use bad words. I had dirty pants almost."

On having his nose broken by running into the back of Steve Nash's noggin: "I was playing with Dwight Howard and I was playing against Shaq and a lot of big guys in the league. None of these guys hurt me that bad. All of a sudden, there's this one guy -- 5-5 tall, maybe 5-5 and a half, 170 or -80 pounds who doesn't eat meat. The guy just broke my nose. It's funny."

Blogger Wormboy said...
@Kazam. I still don't think Kidd is a great as advertised, mainly for poor shooting and poor defense. As a brainy PG running the fast break he was great, but I think he hurt his teams with his poor shooting.

I remember those Nets playoff runs through the Leastern Conference at its absolute low point. I remember a lot of Kidd pull-up threes that didn't fall. You could argue that he carried those Nets teams, and it's true. I'd just point out that the teams didn't suck as much as most thought, and they were running through a terrible Eastern conference with little real competition (they we 49 and 52 win teams those two years). They had Dikembe Mutombo in 03 (which probably explains any success against the Spurs that year). Look, in 02 they went through the Pouty Pierce-Antoine Walker Celtics in the Eastern Finals to get swept by the Lakers. In 03 they went through the Sheed-less Pistons, though I'll grant you that they won two off of the Spurs in the Finals (and it didn't reflect the Spurs' dominance: NJ won those two games by 2 and 1 pts, while 3 of the Spurs wins were double digits). And don't get me started about the sixth player the Spurs fought in that series: the officials.

Meh, I'm torn. I recognize that Kidd was a top PG at his peak of a few years. Was he HOF material? Maybe, maybe not. I think a lot of people are entranced by the Triple Doubles, especially the rebounding. Just because Kidd filled the stat sheet doesn't make him an all-time great. Yes, I have a deep respect for a guy who contributes in categories typically outside of his position's "job description." But he also hoisted a lot of bad shots, and while a big, strong PG who could work the post, could be blown by pretty easily on the perimeter, i.e. a bit of a defensive liability. I certainly don't see him as first ballot. I do think he'll get in, but I'm not convinced that is appropriate. And I don't see him as good as most people think.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Brook Lopez looked really good his first couple of years but has regressed badly this season to the point that he's little more than a backup. Robin Lopez was the crappy brother and so, as with Taylor Griffin, the Suns drafted him in case he somehow got good by association. There is a third Lopez brother, a bit older, who my buddy played against in New Zealand. Apparently he was the worst import player the league has ever seen.

How much of Steve Nash dies inside every single night thanks to trades like the one that gave him Vince Carter?

Did you know that since Vince Carter joined the Suns, there have been massive political upheavals in Sudan, Tunisia, Egypt and currently in Libya. I'm just saying...

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Well you are entitled to your opinion WB. You make good points.

But he's getting in and he will get in as soon as he is eligible. And hey, his legacy isn't done yet. By some chance if Dallas wins it all, it really strengthens his legacy

Blogger Wormboy said...
LOL @ Carter. I think the unrest is due to his beard.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Hey stat nerds out there. When's the last time 3 players on same team each had 30-10 games in regulation?

I must say, Houston is a Yao away from being really really good.

Blogger Paul said...
Boston @ Minny
Celtics doing their best to avoid the Knicks in the playoffs?!

Blogger Jason D said...

When's the last time a team needed three 30-10 games from it's players?

I'm thinking we're gonna see a lotta games like that as the Heat grow over the years.

Anonymous plonden said...
This is why I love Marcin Gortat:

Gortat broke his nose Friday night when he turned to run upcourt in the third quarter and smashed it into the back of Steve Nash's head. He said it bled for 15 minutes in the locker room and he was not cleared to return to the game, which the Suns lost with his absence hurting them.

"I don't see any reason why I shouldn't play," Gortat said. "If I'm going to have a big headache or if I'm going to get dizzy, that's the only case I wouldn't.

"It's better that it's my nose than my knee. In the worst case, I'm going to be out 48 hours, not six months."

He had the nose reset Saturday, opting to have it done without medication.

"It was my fault," he said. "I should take an injection. It was painful. I don't want to use bad words. I had dirty pants almost."

Gortat said he would play with his nose taped because he refuses to wear a mask, knowing another hit could require off-season surgery.

Paul Coro @ Arizona Republic


Blogger Rogue said...
So as I recall, I was blasted by some Spurs lovers when I made a comment about Duncan's decline and how would he perform in the upcoming playoffs.

I was told, he is no longer the focus and Spurs don't need him to win the games and blah blah blah,

Well without him they lost three straight games. I wonder what excuse would be used now. As much as I hate Spurs, I do realize how awesome Duncan is and he is the one representing their Dynasty not Parker of Manu. Sheesh.

Anonymous Karc said...
Lakers sweep Hornets 4-0 in regular season and looks to be 1st round matchup barring weirdness. Like Manu pulling a quad.

Sidenote, Spurs don't deserve this. They didn't scream they were going to win 8 titles in a row after flipping the bird to a 60 win team (Miami), or win 4 with an assistant coach and media-picked MVP (Chicago), or even arrogantly yell that they would have won a title with a healthy starting five, then ship the starting center to the Man who robbed Seattle (Boston).

Anyway, for reference, the 2009 Lakers met the Rockets in the second round after sweeping them 4-0 in the regular season. They needed seven games to beat Houston without Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady because Aaron Brooks burned them at will and Luis Scola and Carl Landry (now with the Hornets) seemed to grow six inches and were better rebounders than Pau Gasol. And let's face it - Trevor Ariza is the stable version of Ron Artest, with just as bad an instinct for taking a shot (not tonight, that was Berlinerri). You'd think that without David West, the Hornets would get crushed on the boards, and Chris Paul is certainly a better PG than Brooks.

The similarities are very eerie, indeed. Just saying...

Anonymous EbbNFlow said...

SportsCenter said the last time a trio all had at least 30-10 was back in 1961 when Big O, Embry, and Twyman on the Cincinnati Royals lost to the Philly Warriors. Wilt Chamberlain had over 50 points and 30 rebounds in that game though haha.

Blogger Paul said...
Dallas giving Phoenix every chance to come-back and the Suns refusing to take them. Plus, Nowitzki 5-18 with 2:00 left in the 4th.

Must be furtstarting for Anaconda.

Anonymous Wouter said...
Gerald Wallace lost weight... and his dreadlocks. http://i822.photobucket.com/albums/zz150/SThal/Gerald_Randolph.jpg

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
@Karc - That Houston team could score, and they did have a healthy Yao for the first two games, plus he played all of Game 3 when his team was trying to come back from a big deficit, despite hurting his foot. They also had the effective post defender Chuck Hayes frustrating Gasol, and two pretty decent wing defenders in Battier and Artest. Not only that, but a hobbled Bynum only averaged about 12 minutes per game in that series, and Odom was playing with a hematoma on his back that was the size of a salad bowl.

NOLA doesn't have any effective wing defenders to slow Kobe, nor do they have any effective post defenders for Bynum, Gasol, or Odom. And one more thing - this Laker team has won two championships since that series. These players know what it takes.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Rondo probably turns the ball over as a result of having in his hands most the time. This season he is 6th in assist/turnover ratio,out of all players, behind Paul, Calderon, Kidd, Fisher and Iguodala. Rose is 39th.

His shooting obviously needs some work but at the end of tight games, that i've seen, on inbound plays when the other team is looking for them to foul, Rondo generally is the one passing it in taking out his free throw liability.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jason Kidd:
# 4× All-Defensive First Team (1999, 2001–2002, 2006)
# 5× All-Defensive Second Team (2000, 2003–2005, 2007)

But I'm sure your assessment of his defense is more valid than that.

Blogger winnetou said...
Generals road watch: After their loss in Gol_en State, the Generals are now at 1-35 outside of Washington DC.
Their next chances to avoid (tying?) a historically bad road record are tonight at Utah (on a 5 game losing streak and in 11th place. "Playoffs, baby"?), Sunday at Charlotte followed by Indiana (both fighting for the 8th seed in the east) and Boston.
Their final game of the season will be at Cleveland, the only team they managed to beat on the road this year.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

please don´t talk about the leagues definition of defense...

they gave DPOY awards to marcus camby and dwight howard

Blogger Wormboy said...
@Anonymous: rebounds anyone? Because he's always been average at staying in front of his man (unless he's playing a big PG similar to himself)

And I never said he wasn't an excellent ballplayer. I just questioned hall of famer. Apparently Reggie Miller isn't good enough to get on the final ballot, just to give you some perspective on that particular issue. So Kidd as first ballot when Miller isn't even on the ballot? I don't think so. Didn't Reggie carry similar teams deep into the playoffs? And what credit do some of the most exciting moments in basketball make? I was watching that game where Miller scored 8 points in the last 13 seconds. I had dirty pants almost.

Meh. 'Tis always the case when a player fails to get a ring. Maybe we should look at their achievements in the absence of another potential hall of famer playing with them in their prime? Then both Reggie and Kidd are first ballot, right? And Ewing.