Thunder Bobcats Basketball
Larry Brown attempts to gouge out his eyes after watching his Bobcraps play. Good thing he no longer has that problem!

Is anyone actually surprised by Larry Brown getting the hell out of Charlotte? I look forward to Michael Jordan doing what Bawful reader JJ suggested and becoming an owner/coach. The comedy would be endless!

Since the sun rose in the east this morning, that means we have yet another example of Ron Artest doing what Ron Artest does best. Here is a post from Trey Kirby at The Basketball Jones where Ron Artest tells us what stats Jesus Christ put up when he played in the NBA. Unfortunately, these numbers do not match up with those The Onion gives us. All I know is that this story made me immediately fire up Youtube to rewatch this video.

Via The Other Chris, check out this insane high school dunk contest.

Thanks for reminding me that I can barely reach the bottom of the net, guys

And some brief footbawful: oh for the love of God, they want to make a movie about the Madden Curse. So, is whomever they put on the poster doomed to break his ankle filming a scene for the movie? (h/t chris)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Noah making a goofy face and Scalabrine doing Scalabrine-like things. This is what this website is all about.

Bucks Lakers Basketball
If I lost to the Bucks, I'd want to hide too

Warriors Kings Basketball
"Maybe I shouldn't have flashed that 'choke' sign..."

Mavericks Magic Basketball
What's with the pouty faces? Nobody's forcing you to hug each other

Nationally Televised Games:
Bulls at Wizards Generals, 7pm: The story of the night for Washington is they will finally get to play their newest acquisition, Rashard Lewis. Because I'm sure that's the difference-maker that will vault them to the top of the standings.

All The Other Games:
Cavaliers at Hawks, 7pm: I know they don't have LeBron and all, but damn, when did Cleveland become something resembling an unholy Eastern Conference version of the Purple Paupers or Clippers? Something needs to light a fire under their asses. You know, other than their river.

Pistons at Craptors, 7pm: Well, at least a couple people will be enjoying this game. Per The Other Chris: "Bawful field trip tonight: Craptors vs. Pissed-Ons. I'm taking a friend with whom I have a bet about which team will have a worse record this year. Much drinking and yelling will ensue. 'Tis the season to be jolly!"

76ers at Celtics, 7:30pm: I still can't get over the fact that the Sixers have quietly been amazingly mediocre lately. I mean, 6-4 in their past 10 games? That's playing like a #4 seed in the Leastern Conference! (Good to know there's no way they can keep this up. Right? Right...?)

Thunder at Knicks, 7:30pm: Nice to see the schedule balancing out for New York. After a stretch of games softer than Charles Barkley's fat rolls, they're now getting their share of tough games, and the results haven't been pretty.

Nyets at Hornets, 8pm: Let's be honest, folks. Does anyone really see the Nyets landing Carmelo Anthony? How much longer do we have to entertain this storyline?

Jazz at Timberwolves, 8pm: Look out. This is the first time Al Jefferson will be facing his former team. I mean, you already don't want to lose to the Timberpups anyway just because that's humiliating, but especially when you've got some history with them.

Nuggets at Spurs, 8:30pm: Sad news: Carmelo won't be playing tonight due to a death in the family.

Rockets at Clippers, 10:30pm: What astronomical odds! Both of these teams are riding three game winning streaks! The only thing I expected them to be riding was an express train to the NBA draft lottery.

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Blogger The Sports Hayes said...
Since Sam Vincent was coach last year, any chance Jordan hires Greg Kite to coach with Brown gone?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Anyone look at ESPNs Riley-Jackson timeline? What fail the 60's and 70's were

Anonymous Stockton said...
Hell, even mascot, announcer and cheerleader!!!!!!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
GeekTechAwful crossover: The Bynum Jesus Glitch made the Top 57 lamest tech moments of 2010 list!

Anonymous Matt said...
Its rough reading this blog sometimes being a Heat fan. But I still love this shit

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Matt - They made this commercial sspecifically to troll you. Come to Phoenix! It's a dry heat!

Blogger chris said...
And...Westphal says that DMC is gonna get benched until he learns to be "professional."


Maybe you need to learn to be a professional basketball coach, seeing that you have successfully unlearned how to do it since that pivotal Bulls-Kings game a year ago.

Anonymous Bryan said...
a few observations for that HS dunk contest.

1. Wow what a bad day to be used as a prop to be jumped over. I think all of them took a groin in the head or face

2. Was it me or did the 2 white guys take every dunk Nash and Amare did in 05?

3. That was sick.

Blogger LotharBot said...

Matt Bonner got "fouled" on a 3 (in typical Spurs fashion, most of the contact was caused by his kicking his leg out.) He bricked all 3 fts.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Easy WotN material tonight. I don't even want to change the name of the YouTube video.

Andray Blatche does something Andray Blatche-y

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Well, Basketbawful fans, I have returned home from tonight's field trip, suitably soused, and disgusted with my team. The Craptors, not content to be down at halftime 18 points to the Pistons, managed to extend their deficit to between 25 and 31 points for most of the fourth quarter, before settling for whatever the meaningless final margin of victory was - 20? 25?

The Craptors only dressed nine dudes, and by dudes I mean zombies. This was as listless a performance as I have seen out of an NBA team this year. Perhaps they were trying to imitate the 76ers from last night. Well, they succeeded. Richard Hamilton lit them up for 32; Charlie Villeuneva, Rodney Stuckey, Tayshuan Prince and hell the whole roster dumped in a bunch more. Tracy Fucking McGrady lit them up for a bunch of points.

I'm tired. And angry. I will have more coherent thoughts in the morning. Maybe.

Raptors + motivated opposition - minus players that give a shit = FAIL.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blogger chris said...
The Other Chris:

And of course, based on your description, you know which clip is gonna get reposted.. ;)

Anonymous kazam92 said...
basketbatragic. Melo missed tonights game because his sister died. She had 4 kids!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I have no idea what to do with this clip of Shaq conducting the Boston Pops orchestra, but I trust you guys at Basketbawful will put it to good use:

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Did the Bobcraps, through their coaching shenanigans...just get worse?! I now downgrade them to the Bobshats!

Of course, <a href="> I expect a 5-game win streak.</a>

Anonymous Geert said...
So I guess we can add "The Big Orchestrator" to his list of nicknames. I kinda like it.

Blogger Unknown said...
As much as the Clippers are who we thought they were, I'm pretty sure there's a bug in ESPN's Gamecast. This was, sadly, a real screen capture.

Anonymous JJ said...
Although this is pretty funny, I wasn't going to post it. But then, it mentioned Greg Ostertag.,2920/


Anonymous No Ring King said...
Spurs are currently 25 and 3, good for .893.

The 96 Bulls after 28? 25 and 3. They finished the season at .878, best of all time of course.

Now I'd bet against the Spurs breaking the record, but they're better than a third of the way through their season and are on pace for 73.

I wouldn't mind hearing Adande and co. spit out LeBron's tiny balls and gargle on the Red Rocket's red rocket for a while.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
There were tons of reporting bugs last night, Yahoo and included.

The Silas/Charles Oakley coaching duo is rumored complete, bringing "toughness to the Charlotte frontcourt." Well no kidding.

Blogger DC said...
It seems like everybody's NBA score updates was messed up one way or another.

Yahoo's score updates were just atrocious yesterday. I was following what seemed like the slowest game ever between NY-OKC. It took literally 20 minutes for Yahoo to update between 10:00 to 9:15 in the 3rd quarter. So after being stuck at 9:15 in the 3rd for at least 10 minutes, I decided to switch to ESPN's score updates instead and saw that about 3 minutes had already passed in the 4th quarter.

Then, of course, we have the Houston-Clippers debacle. In the first half, Yahoo listed only the Houston players' box score, and not the Clippers players' box score. Then they showed the Clippers not scoring at all in the first quarter but going on a rampage to notch 43 in the second quarter. And the Clippers' players' box scores were still missing at the half. ESPN, on the other hand, had the Clippers putting up a big fat zero for the whole first half. The only reliable score I found for this game was on CBS sports.

Naturally, it only makes sense that it took hilariously error-riddled box scores from 2 different media companies for me to even care about finding the actual score for a Rockets-Clippers game.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
gargle on the Red Rocket's red rocket for a while.

Sandwiches and '06 Pontiacs for everyone!!!

Matt Bonner married a Canadian citizen in 2008 and wanted to play for the national team in 2010. Fuck yeah.

Blogger Evan Sather said...
So who is Tom Thibodeau shouting at while telling somebody behind him to "rock on?"

Anonymous Arlen said...
there is a lot of curious man love going on between the 2 white guys in that HS dunk content vid. I mean, 1 chest bump after a dunk is fine - but after each one and then staring into eachothers face? And considering the height difference it wasn't really a chest bump but more 'groin to chest' bump

Anonymous greg said...
I just wanted to nominate Jodie Meeks' line on 12/22 as one of the most bawful of the year. In 31 minutes of PT, Meeks scored 3 points(0-2 FG, 3-4 line), turned the ball over 3 times...and absolutely nothing else. No boards, no steals, no nothing...not even any fouls! What was this guy doing in the half hour he was on the floor?!?!