The Leastern Conference playoff battle

It seems like just yesterday that the regular season kicked off and I still was naive enough to think the Celtics might be legitimate contenders. Ah, memories...

And yet, here we are, just days away from the end of another regular season. While we will get to see some hopefully entertaining basketball in the playoffs, we will have to bid adieu to teams such as the Clippers, Timberwolves, Kings, and Bullets for many long months. Oh, darn.

I have good news for Antoine Walker and Latrell Sprewell -- they've got a new buddy to hang out with in the former-NBA-player-poorhouse! Derrick Coleman is $5 million in debt. As noted by the brilliant NotMikeDunleavy, "Derrick Coleman is bankrupt? Unbelievable! He was so responsible in every other aspect of his life." He also wondered: "Who was better at handling money: Derrick Coleman or Derrick Coleman's NBA Jam character?"

I dunno. This is a total shock to me. You can't tell me buying a fur coat five fur coats isn't a great investment!

(You really didn't think I could say that with a straight face, did you? Yeah, you're right. I couldn't. But I tried, so give me credit for that much. That's better than half the NBA teams can say about the past week.)

Now, with that out of the way, let's move on so I can get out of here and go to the golf course. I need to get a head start since nearly half of the league will be doing it in just a couple days. The NHL already ended its regular season, so it's probably getting harder to get a good tee time.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

Free T-Shirt Excitement
Second only to Free Taco Excitement

"Oh my God! That ball is going to fall on my head!!"

Either Kendrick Perkins is being held down, or he is constipated. Or both.

"I can't believe I just let the Clippers beat us..."

Yes, you just lost to the Bullets. Feel shame.

When not getting in epic fights over bad coupons, this guy likes to play with rubber chickens at Pacers games

Nationally Televised Games:
Craptors at Pistons: A riveting battle of Eastern conference powerhouses. (Okay, I apologize. Sarcasm is fun, but that was just too over the top)

Mavericks at Clippers: ...Because of course when the schedule makers decided to throw this one on national TV, they thought "Hey, I bet the Clippers will be battling for a playoff spot!!"

All The Other Games:
Magic at Pacers: The Pacers have averaged almost 109ppg in the past dozen games, and 119ppg over the last four. Someone really should tell the Pacers that the preseason doesn't last all the way into March.

Heat at 76ers: The Sixers are about to play their last home game of the season. This is good considering they've won more games on the road than at home this year.

Bobcats at Nyets: Since I have nothing of interest to say about this game, go laugh at this terrible jersey.

Wizards Generals Bullets at Bricks: The more I look at the Bullets' depth chart, the more I wonder how David Stern hasn't intervened. You know how much he hates for his league (and, by proxy, David Stern) to be embarrassed, and any team that trots out Livingston, Young, Miller, Blatche, and Oberto for a starting five is a damn embarrassment.

Hawks at Bucks: A potential playoff preview and a battle for seeding. This game might actually not suck!

Timberwolves at Spurs: Oh, what the hell. Here's another horrifically bad jersey. (The comments are almost as funny as the picture itself)

Grizzlies at Nuggets: OJ Mayo's hurt, so he may be replaced by Marcus Williams. Yes, I just linked to his old Nets jersey a couple lines ago. And yes, this is the most exposure he has ever had in his career.

Thunder at Frail Blazers: Both teams are playing for 50 wins and for playoff seeding. So, remind me again, why isn't this game on national TV, yet the Clippers are?

Rockets at Kings: Tyreke Evans is just 24 points shy of joining the rookie 20/5/5 club with Oscar, Michael, and LeBron. Too bad his team still can't win.

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Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Kinda sad that the guy trying to invest bettering the shithole that is Detroit has to get lumped together with the frivolous spending activities of the too-rich-too-fast. I guess just the fact that this website has to remind us all to "diversify your portfolio" is pretty basketbawful.

Blogger Will said...
Here's a pretty funny jersey.
WV makin- I can't can't believe a company was makin Adonal Foyle jerseys.

Blogger winnetou said...
Paul Pierce, Dunning-Kruger effect representative, when asked about the Celtics' playoff ambitions and chances:
"'We want to be the champs. That’s the minimum level [of achievement to consider the season a success]. I don’t care what our record is. I don’t care how we’ve played. Our minimum level is winning the championship. That’s been our goal since we brought the team together, and that’s not changed.' But is it realistic? 'Yeah,' Pierce said. 'Without question.' "
(Boston Herald via truehoop)

Anonymous Sorbo said...
For the Perkins pic: That may be one of the only times we see a Bullet putting a hand in the face. Har-har. Is this thing on? Hello? (tapping microphone)

Now I don't regret trading my Derrick Coleman rookie card for all those pogs. Thanks, seventh grade!

Blogger Dan B. said...
AnacondaHL -- It is also reminds us that it is, indeed, so cold in the D.

Sorbo -- Pogs? Good Lord, it really must be 1990s day on this website. I'm just waiting for someone to mention a pager. Now excuse me while I go fire up DOS and play Doom.

Anonymous Hajt said...
There may be more Z-Bo bawfulness to come:

Blogger Ash said...
winnetou: Wow, the denial is strong with Paul "Best Player in the World" Pierce.

Blogger Brian said...
Speaking of bawful jerseys...


Anonymous Anonymous said...
I was going to make a crack about how someone who was mentored by Dave Bing could lose that much money - but I see he lost it investing in Detroit, which is unfortunate, generous and probably doomed to failure.

Blogger Benny Profane said...
I can't tell if this guy is really an idiot and believes this or if he's simply writing something controversial to draw attention: http://nba.fanhouse.com/2010/04/12/lebron-james-owes-fans-a-refund/?ncid=txtlnkusspor00000002

On a side note, RE: bankrupt players. I had an idea after hearing about Antoine Walker, Lenny Dykstra, et al. Can MTV have a show called Cribs: The Aftermath after these guys go bankrupt? Watch them sell off the houses, take a tour of the new 1 bedroom apartment, maybe even showing off the new Subaru they just picked up. Season two can expand to bankrupt Wall Street execs, rappers, and Nicholas Cage

Blogger Dan B. said...
Benny Profane -- I sent the author of that terrible article an e-mail earlier outlining why it's a bad article, and also asked basically the same question at the end. Is he an idiot, or just trying to draw attention to himself?

Anonymous Hajt said...
Profane- Wonder if this means no unanimous vote for MVP, although I don't know if he actually has a vote, or it was just a figure of speech.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...

Completely unrelated, and in the wrong sport, but...

David Wright in "Situational Training" Vitamin Water commercial. Yes, that's "Situation" like Jersey Shore's "The Situation". This is the greatest thing. Basebawful, if you will.

On that note, btw, this weekend I took a pilgrimage to THE Jersey Shore house in Seaside Heights. I've got pictures and custom T-Shirts to prove it =)

Blogger Benny Profane said...
Dan B-it truly is just a terrible thesis and idea. My opinion is that he is simply drawing attention to himself. I couldn't help but wonder-is he furious when watching the last few weeks of a football season? Is he not aware that this isn't a new subject, that people discuss the strategy of sitting their best players in almost every sport? I think the anger seems manufactured. Being contrarian just to be contrarian is alright with me-being a contrarian with poorly formed ideas is annoying.

Hajt-we can only hope that it was simply a figure of speech.

Blogger Dan B. said...
AnacondaHL -- You went to THE Jersey Shore house? Unreal. I think you need to share those pictures. Hopefully just being near that hot tub didn't give you eight different STDs.

Blogger Silva said...
Minnesota is doomed. Sacramento has Tyreke and Landry, Knicks have cap space, Golden State has Curry, Houston looks to get Yao back and they have Brooks and Budinger, Clippers pray for Griffin, even the Nets have Harris and Lopez.

But Minnesota? What do those guys have to look forward to?

Oh and Washington... They should just end that franchise.

Blogger chris said...
Vasco: Why not give Seattle a new team? Well, if the Puget Sound region has finally forgiven the Association (and I wouldn't blame the folks there if they never, ever did)...