The Chicago Bulls and Toronto Craptors are currently engaged in one of the saddest "final playoff spot" duels I've ever been unfortunate enough to witness. Both teams are below .500. Toronto has dropped five straight games and 14 of 20 overall. Last week, Chicago suffered embarrassing losses to the Andrew Bogut-less Milwaukee Bucks and the 12-win New Jersey Nyets while barely eking out a win over the LeBron James-less Cleveland Cavaliers.
Do either of these teams actually want to make the playoffs?
Maybe last night's Bulls-Craptors game answered that question. The Dinos -- who recently lost Chris Bosh for the season due to a broken face -- fell behind by 10 at the half (58-48), by 19 after three quarters (84-65), and by as many as 25 in the fourth (94-69). Honestly, I'm not sure they were even trying. I've had more passionate battles against belly lint.
Want some examples? I've got some examples. Near the end of the third quarter, Hedo Turkoglu, who has become persona non grata in Toronto, casually bricked two free throws and the crowd reacted like it was "Free Bag of Poo" night at the Air Canada Center. Late in the fourth, Jannero Pargo forced up an air ball that was hauled in by Reggie "The Nut Burglar" Evans. Evans then threw a lazy pass that was easily interecepted by Pargo, who walked it in for an uncontested layup.
Did I mention that Jose Calderon is signed through 2012-13 (when he will make more than $10 million), Turkododo is signed through 2013-14 (when he will make over $12 million) and that Andrea Bargnani is signed through 2014-15 (when he will make around $12 million)?
Oh yeah. Chris Bosh is totally going to resign with the Craptors this summer. Sure thing. And I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
Of course, if one lovely and talented woman has her way, these magical, singing words just might sway the RuPaul of Big Men into staying. Okay, they won't, but it's still a better effort than any of his teammates is making.
Do either of these teams actually want to make the playoffs?
Maybe last night's Bulls-Craptors game answered that question. The Dinos -- who recently lost Chris Bosh for the season due to a broken face -- fell behind by 10 at the half (58-48), by 19 after three quarters (84-65), and by as many as 25 in the fourth (94-69). Honestly, I'm not sure they were even trying. I've had more passionate battles against belly lint.
Want some examples? I've got some examples. Near the end of the third quarter, Hedo Turkoglu, who has become persona non grata in Toronto, casually bricked two free throws and the crowd reacted like it was "Free Bag of Poo" night at the Air Canada Center. Late in the fourth, Jannero Pargo forced up an air ball that was hauled in by Reggie "The Nut Burglar" Evans. Evans then threw a lazy pass that was easily interecepted by Pargo, who walked it in for an uncontested layup.
Did I mention that Jose Calderon is signed through 2012-13 (when he will make more than $10 million), Turkododo is signed through 2013-14 (when he will make over $12 million) and that Andrea Bargnani is signed through 2014-15 (when he will make around $12 million)?
Oh yeah. Chris Bosh is totally going to resign with the Craptors this summer. Sure thing. And I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
Of course, if one lovely and talented woman has her way, these magical, singing words just might sway the RuPaul of Big Men into staying. Okay, they won't, but it's still a better effort than any of his teammates is making.
Labels: Chris Bosh, Strangely hot girls singing surprisingly catchy songs asking Chris Bosh to stay in Toronto, Toronto Raptors
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Meanwhile, over the same period,
Spurs: 16-6
Blazers: 14-4
Thunder: 14-8
Somehow, I think the Cavs will have an easier time than the Lakers in the first round.
Summer 2010 is going to be one giant trainwreck. Hearts will be broken. I'm quite excited.
word verification: nymone. LeBron will goto the Knicks for the NYmone(y).
Don't know really a way to address that as a top-to-bottom 1-16 setup creates awkward travel in the first round. (the NHL DID do that in the late 70s, I don't think the Association ever did)
CAPTCHA: "amicatio" which almost looks like it could be Italian for "amicable," i.e. "Spree and Carleisimo were never amicatio."
See I understand the argument for baseball, where having a .500 team in the playoffs with only 12 teams would be odd. And the problem with top-to-bottom 1-16 isn't really travel anymore. It messes with the 2-conference, 2-league, 2-whatever system. You'd have to also switch to something like the FA Premiere League or something, where teams rotate out or whatever, to keep from even more horrible tanking and imbalance than we already have. 8th seends have a chance, 16s don't. (And of course only 4 elite teams have won the FA cup, so who knows what the dominating teams in the NBA would do). Some mix of solutions could work best for the NBA, people saying a team should've been in the playoffs simply with a 1-16 system are short-sighted.
The problem only gets worse though IF you subdivide more, i.e. 1980s NHL in which an 80 point team in one division can miss the postseason, but a 62 point team can make it in the same year.
Plus, on the whole, the only team in the past 30 years that I can think of with a seed lower than a #3 that won it all was the '94 Rockets. So who cares about if a #7 or #8 gets in? The only other low-seeded team that should have at least made the Finals was the 2001 Bucks (they were robbed!). That Sixers-Bucks game rivals the 2002 Kings-Lakers Game 7 in terms of horrible, biased foulcalling.
Until we see a #7 or #8 seed make the Finals and compete, it shouldn't be this big of a deal.
And my suggestion had nothing to do with subdividing more. In fact, my suggestion is change nothing until the new CBA comes out and somehow benefits the entire Eastern Conference to tank under .500, which would be the only glaring example of when the 2-conference system fails.
Bulls scared me by losing to the Nets (again). I thought maybe inos would make the play-offs while winning only one game in April.
Fortunately inos were more awfulsome and did not even show up for Sunday's game.
Raps terrible efensive efficiency gets hidden by their slow pace. But I want to highlight that their efense is WORSE than GS, Timberpups, and even the Nyets.
Please fire Triano. And Bulls please make the playoffs and save VDN's coaching job.
wv: equic, inos are not equic to Bulls.
how the fuck can scott skiles have 6 illegitimate children!! holy fuck! i just found this out.
oh and kemp has 11 kids from 10 moms. 11-10 should be a KEMP from now on