Marcus Williams: He played only seven seconds against the Raptors on Friday night, earning the season's very first Mario! You know your coach doesn't like you when...

Jermaine O'Neal: Well, O'Neal's presence has certainly done wonders for Chris Bosh, who's on fire now that he doesn't have to play center. As for the Drain? Not so much. On Friday night, he scored only 5 points on 2-for-10 shooting and almost fouled out. He was also soundly outplayed by Andris Biedrins (17 points, 13 rebounds). But despite all that, he managed to come off like an arrogant ass in the second quarter: After blocking a shot by Brandon Wright, he fell to the floor, wagged his finger while still on his back, then got up and said "No way" to the Golden State bench as he ran up the court.

The New York Knicks: That 120 they dropped on opening night already feels like ages ago, doesn't it? The Knicks scored 87 and 86 points during a winless weekend that saw them get blown out in Philly on Friday and lose at home to the Bucks last night. D'Antoni Ball was in full effect when they played the Sixers: The Knicks hit only 32 percent of their 98 shots while surrendering 59 percent shooting on the other end. In that game, Chris "I'm no Steve Nash" Duhon shot 1-for-8 and Zach Randolph finished with 12 points on 19 field goal attempts and had three of his shots fed back to him. On Sunday, the Knicks shot only 37 percent against Milwaukee...and they attempted 36 three-pointes (they hit only 12 of them). Duhon was 2-for-6, Jamal Crawford was 0-for-6, Randolph was 6-for-17, etc. And Stephon Marbury is still a huge distraction that's being poorly handled. The more things change, the more they stay sadly the same.

The NBA: Where "Defense" is just waiting to get back on offense.

The Sacramento Kings: Let's see. They helped the Heat match a franchise record for margin of victory in a home opener (26 points) by scoring only 77 on 38 percent shooting and committing 25 turnovers (compared to only 10 assists). Kevin "The Future of the Franchise" Martin scored 9 points on 2-for-8 shooting, grabbed 1 rebounds, dished zero assists and had 5 turnovers. Beho Udrih shot 1-for-7 and also committed 5 turnovers. According to Sacramento coach Reggie Theus: "There is no explanation for it." Really? How about: Your team sucks? Their situation did not improve on Saturday, when they lost 121-103 to the Magic despite shooting almost 53 percent from the floor. But that's what happens when let the other team shoot 55 percent and pound you on the boards 40-28 (including 15-6 on the offensive glass).

J.J. Redick: How has J.J. responded to his promotion to Orlando's sixth man? By going 0-for-8 from the field in 39 minutes of action over the team's first three games. He also has more fouls (4) than points (2). He is shooting 100 percent from the line though! See? There's always a bright side.

The Chicago Bulls: At 2-1, the Bullies are off to a "fast start"...thanks to wins against the Bucks and Grizzlies. But their game against Boston showed all their warts: 29 percent shooting (25-for-84), 20 turnovers and only 11 assists.

Derrick Rose: Look, the kid has been better than expected out of the gate. He can score, no question about it. But his floor game has not been good. In two weekend games, he attempted 34 shots while dishing out only 4 assists. That's a bad ratio for a team's starting point guard. He also had more turnovers (5) than dimes, which is another bad ratio. If the Bulls are going to seriously improve on last year's disappointing season, Rose is going to need to start shooting less and getting his teammates involved more.

Oh, he also needs to work on his grammar. Regarding the play of the Celtics, Rose said: "There ain't no time to wait. When you get the opportunity, you've got to take it. They don't waste no time when they come out. They mean business." Just leave the double negatives to LeBron, okay, Derrick?

Los Angeles Clippers: They faced the Nuggets without Carmelo Anthony and the Jazz without Deron Williams. And they still went 0-for-the-weekend. And Baron Davis is hurt already. Yup. The Clippers: They are who we thought they were.

Ricky Davis: His line for the weekend: 1-for-11, 2 points, 3 rebounds, 2 assists, a turnover and 4 fouls. It's a good thing the signed him over the summer, because he's the perfect Clipper.

The San Antonio Spurs: They shot 56 percent from the field and downtown on Friday...and lost anyway. Man, they really miss Manu Ginobili. They also miss their defense: They managed only 1 steal and blocked zero shots. The Blazers only committed 6 turnovers on the night.

Bruce Bowen: He's 37 and rapidly decomposing before our eyes. His totals over the first two games of the season are: zero points, 4 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal and 3 fouls in 42 minutes of PT. Also, it looks like his days of being a lockdown defender are D-U-N. It might be time to get him out of the rotation, Pop.

The Miami Heat: They received a sound thumping at the hands of the Charlotte Bobcats, dropping them to 1-2 on the season...with the other loss coming against the Knicks. And D-Wade isn't playing that "One of the five best players in the world" ball everybody thought he would be after his performance in the Olympics. On the bright side, Michael Beasley recovered from his awful first game to score 17 and 25 points over the weekend.

Shawn Marion: Hm...12 PPG on 43 percent shooting so far. Not what you'd expect from the guy who felt underappreciated as the highest-paid player on the Suns' roster last season. He is rebounding and blocking shots, though.

Joel Anthony: This undrafted center out of UNLV notched the season's first official one trillion. Congrats, Joel! Your prize -- a paper bag filled with poo -- is on it's way.

The Boston Celtics: A 16-point loss -- during which they were down by as many as 25 in the fourth quarter -- to the Indiana Pacers? Ouchies. Can you say championship hangover? The C's shot 34 percent and committed 24 turnovers while forcing only 12. They also missed 14 freethrows. Oh, and Paul Pierce knocked out Danny Granger's two front teeth during a battle for a loose ball. Said Kevin Garnett: "I don't even know what to call it." How about "Mucho Sucko"? "Maximum Suckage" maybe? Anybody?

Eddie House: Dude has no conscience. Saturday's line: 1-for-10 shooting, including 1-for-7 from Threeland. Update! As Kevin, who corrected my spelling of "conscience" put it: "But the way he played you could argue he wasn't conscious at all of what he was doing; it's like his arms and hands just need to get rid of the ball as soon as they touch it." But wait, there's more! Assists? Zero. Turnovers? 2. And he's the Celtics safety net at point guard, which should raise some serious red flags among the Boston faithful.

Jeff Foster, quote machine: Regarding Danny Granger's late-game dental procedure: "Losing his teeth when we're up by 16 just shows the commitment he has, and the commitment everybody else has to have, to make this climb back up the mountain." So I guess we should expect many more lost teeth by the Pacers this season. Can't wait!

The Philadelphia 76ers: Their 1-2 record is an early sign that the Sixers aren't quite ready to challenge Boston and Detroit for Eastern Conference supremacy. So is the fact that they couldn't hold a 23-point lead against the Hawks. But they do have access to all the cheese steak sandwiches they could ever want, so it all evens out I guess.

The Washington Wizards: Good God, people. It's called defense. You should really try it some time. It's not just that they let the Pistons shoot 53 percent, it's also that they let Walter Herrmann have a career day: 16 points (6-for-9), 7 rebounds, 4 assists and a steal in 23 minutes. And even that isn't as bad as letting Kwame "Stone Hands" Brown go 4-for-4 and score 8 points in less than 8 minutes. FAIL.

LeBron's O: Hey, didn't this guy lead the league in scoring last season? He's currently averaging 19.7 PPG on 43 percent shooting. He hasn't hit a three yet (0-for-9) and hasn't scored more than 22 in three games. He boarding (7.7 RPG) and dishing (9.3 APG), but his shot -- which has always been a little suspect -- actually regressed over the summer.

"Hey! Anybody seen my jump shot?

Mo Williams: I know, I know. It's way early. But still...13.3 PPG on 41 percent from the field and 31 from beyond the arc? I'm telling you, it's Larry Hughes: Part II.

Mike James: CP3's backup scored zero points on 0-for-5 shooting and had 2 assists in 12 minutes. I'm telling you, Paul is going to play himself to death this season. Hey, Chris. Steve Nash feels your pain, bro.

Mavs versus Wolves: Check out the brevity of this game recap. It just screams "Nobody cares."

Rodney Carney: It's the season's second Mario! Rodney logged four seconds against the Mavericks. And while Allen Iverson probably could have gotten off three or four shots in that amount of time, Carney could not.

Chuck Hayes: Whoa, Chucky! Dude had an eight trillion...against the Oklahoma City Thunder! Holy wowsers. How can you accomplish exactly nothing in that much PT against such a lousy team? It doesn't seem possible.

Tracy McGrady's defense: He let Kevin Durant score 22 points through the first three quarters. Then Ron Artest switched onto Durant and the kid scored 4 points the rest of the way. Speaking of which...

Ron Artest, quote machine: "Sometimes you've got to treat Kevin Durant like he's Michael Jordan. You've got to treat every player like they're Jordan, play them hard." Well, he's on your team so it doesn't matter, but I'm pretty sure you won't ever have to treat Chuck Hayes like he's Michael Jordan. I'm just sayin'. Update! Basketbawful reader Brian S. reminded me of this: "When he said guard everyone like they're Michael Jordan, did he mean break their ribs like Artest did when Jordan was coming back?" Well...with Ron...you never know...

Tyrus Thomas: His first game of the season -- a 15-point, 10-rebound, 3-assist, 2-steal effort -- caused a ripple of "Maybe Tyrus Thomas has arrived!" speculation around the Chicagoland area. How easily people can be fooled. He followed the season-opener by shooting 2-for-17 against the Celtics. Why on Earth Ty Thomas would ever take that many shots in a game is beyond me. Then, against the Grizzlies, he scored 3 points on 0-for-5 shooting and committed 3 turnovers. So, you know, same old, same old.

Andrea Bargnani: In true Bargnani fashion, he followed up a hope-lifting 19-point, 8-for-10 shooting game against the Warriors by scoring zero points (0-for-3) in 17 minutes against the Bucks. Which probably proves, once again, that you can never trust a stat line that was produced against Golden State.

Andrew Bynum: He celebrated his newfound wealth by racking up more fouls (5) than points (4) against the Nuggets. He shot 0-for-1 and had 3 turnovers, too.

Luke Walton: Oh me oh my: Luke notched a Mario against Denver by playing only 29 seconds. He did, however, manage to miss a shot and grab a rebound in his half-minute of action. But still.

Carmelo Anthony: He returned of his suspension only to turn in the following craptastic line against the Lakers: 13 points, 5-for-15, 0-for-4 from the line and 5 turnovers. But he did offer the following insight: "I'm not going to worry about the offensive game for myself. I can do that with my eyes closed." Really, 'Melo? Looks to me like you really did play the game with your eyes closed.

Carmelo Anthony, quote machine: More 'Melo, regarding his awful O: "I haven't had that feeling for a long time. I tell you what, I won't have it again. I'll tell you that." Oh yeah? You know I'll be watching...

Ike Diogu: A silent one trillion against the Suns. You know, Ike is one of those "project" players that everybody likes to discuss by saying "If he ever lives up to his potential...." Well, guess what? He's never living up to his potential. Ever.


The Minnesota Timberwolves: The Wolves gave the Oklahoma City Thunder their first-ever victory. Which means they must know how the Harlem Globetrotters felt the first time they lost to the Washington Generals. And the main reason this happened was...

Randy Foye: Way to kill your team, Randy: 0-for-10 shooting and 5 turnovers. Oh, and two of those shots were blocked. A real ego-ectomy special.

The Allen Iverson trade: AI to Detroit for Chauncey Billups and 'Tony McDyess? Because the Pistons need a ME-ME-ME-FIRST!! scorer handling the rock? Bad trade. Baaaaaaaaad trade.

Update! Kobe Bryant: The Dark Lord created a giant underground drill for the purpose of sending it to the Earth's core to deliver a nuclear warhead that would cause the simultaneous eruption of all the world's volcanoes. Fortunately for us all, he was narrowly thwarted by Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. Initially, it looked as though the Doberman of Death was planning to hold the planet hostage, but when Powers asked if Mamba expected the world leaders to pay, he replied, "No, Mr. Powers. I expect them...to die."

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Blogger XForce23 said...
Btw, it's 'conscience' not 'conscious', I would assume you meant when describing Eddie House. But the way he played you could argue he wasn't conscious at all of what he was doing; it's like his arms and hands just need to get rid of the ball as soon as they touch it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
While O'Neal hasn't lit the league on fire with his stat lines so far, I think you underestimate the effect his presence has on the defensive side of the Raps' play. Defensively, they are miles ahead of last year - in fact, last season they would have lost all 3 games they have played so far (they were Charmin' soft last year, whenever they got behind or slowed on offense, their defense couldn't keep them in the game). Plus, as you mentioned, his effect on Bosh has been huge!

Blogger Cortez said...
What in holy hell was Dumars thinking about?

Is there an angle we are missing?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
There was a play in the Bulls/Celtics game that stood out to me. Boston was up by 20, with only a few minutes left in the game. Someone on Chicago, I think Derrick Rose, set up Ty Thomas for an easy alley-oop slam. He was already 2 for 17 at this point, so he needed a confidence booster. Instead, he got fouled by Glen Davis.

What made it seem so odd to me is that Davis was a teammate of Thomas at LSU. He had to have known that Ty was rotten that night, I can't imagine anybody playing in that game could have missed the fact that he clunked fifteen shots. Davis's team was up by 20, with little time left. Why the Hell didn't he just let his former teammate have the friggin' dunk so he's at least 3 for 18 rather than 2 for 17?

I dunno, it just seemed almost like a dickish move to "make him earn it at the line" rather than just allowing two points in garbage minutes.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
kevin -- Fixed.

anonymous -- He's definitely had a defensive impact. No question. But his offense is dreadful. Of course, Bosh is pickin' up that slack...

cortez -- Dude, honestly, I have no idea. I mean, Billups is your team leader and only real playmaker. Iverson is only effective when he gets 20 shots and dribbles the living hell out of the ball. This is stunning to me. He does not fit in with the Pistons way of doing things: Spread the wealth, get everybody involved. The only thing I can think is that his contract is up and that clears serious space off the payroll for next season. And Stucky seems like their PG of the future anyway. But man, I feel sorry for Pistonsgirl4life, wherever she is...

your favourite sun -- I'd rather be a dick to a former teammate than piss of KG for letting somebody get a dunk on me. I mean would you want to face Garnett in the locker room and explain why you gave up an easy one?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
There was an amusing sequence in the Knicks/Bucks game. First, Milwaukee does a screen and roll and the Knick defense switches so that it leaves Nate Robinson alone guarding Andrew Bogut in the low post. Bogut gets the ball and a layup, of course, but in the process Nate actually shoves him to get a foul. I was amused that he thought he could shove Bogut hard enough to actually cause him to miss a layup from one foot out. Maybe he's been guarding Jerome James a lot in practice.

The next possession, the Knicks turn the ball over and Bogut picks up the loose ball. Robinson, rather than getting back on defense, decides to try to rip the ball away from the center instead. You know how back on the playground, what it looked like when a little kid tried getting a ball or whatever away from a big kid who was amusing himself by playing keepaway? That's basically what it was here, with Robinson practically trying to climb Bogut to get to the ball. He gets whistled for his second foul in thirty seconds.

Robinson does realize he's like 5'9" and Bogut's a legit seven-footer, right? And that this height difference puts him at a disadvantage when trying to do things like prevent a layup or get a clean steal?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
bawful - That's not something I'd look forward to, for sure, but I could live with it. At least if I considered the former teammate a friend. If not then fuck it, I'd much rather stay on KG's good side.

Blogger Slick said...
The AI move isn't just about this year, think about the expiring contract and who all the Pistons can now make a play for next year. Read this from ESPN's True Hoop.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
you should do a special trillion post listing up all of them (or say the 10 highest trillion) so we could actually see how bad chuck hayes was. then update it, when someone else comes close

Blogger KNEE JERK NBA said...
Dumars wants to make a run at Lebron, Wade or Bosh once AI's salary comes off.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think the big loss for Detroit is that AD went as well. McDyess brings a lot more to his team than his backups can (although Walter Hermann is a total badass, I have to admit), and really, AI for Billups is a wash in my opinion. Advantage: Denver big time.

Then again, maybe Detroit knows something we don't injury-wise.

Also, the Detroit offense runs a lot of iso plays for Rasheed and screens for Rip and does not really *need* a pass-first PG to play effectively. Put Steve Nash into that style and they don't score any more points than they already do with Chauncy "walk it up the court" Billups.

The only thing they will miss, IMHO is Chauncy's ability to bully other guards with his strength and size

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Mr. Bawful, you need to add yourself to this list for forgetting all the evil Kobe partook in over the weekend. This is the second Worst Of in a row in which you've omitted the Dark Lord :(

Here's a couple quick comments to all of that worstiness:

The Spurs look to be in real trouble till Manu gets back. Bowen is totally done and Pop seems to be keeping him out of the ends of games now since he brings nothing to the table on offense and not nearly what he used to on defense.

I was amazed at how many people proclaimed that "Wade is back!!!" after the Olympics. It's easy to go full bore at both ends of the court when you're not counted on to be the primary scorer and you only have to play 20 minutes a night.

I was also amazed to see a couple people say Kevin Martin would lead the league in scoring. Then again, if LeBron's offense remains MIA and Kobe doesn't play his usual minutes this year, who is gonna win the scoring title?

I was even more amazed at how everyone said that Mo Williams was a great pickup by the Cavs. At last season's end I thought Mo Williams would be a pretty unmovable player since he proved to be an insufferable ball hog in Milwaukee and he has a bad contract. I failed to see where an overpaid shoot-first point guard was gonna help LeBron win a title.

Luke Walton's lucky that Odom picked up his 3rd foul in the 1st quarter against Denver, otherwise he wouldn't have ever entered the game at all.

What the hell is Joe Dumars thinking? Is AI even going to start in Detroit? He isn't a PG and I don't see Rip Hamilton coming off the bench.

Mr. Bawful, I've been curious for a while: who do you root for when it's Pacers vs. Celtics?

Blogger Slick said...
Agree AK Dave, especially about the Pistons missing McDyess. From the article I referenced earlier, Henry Abbott thinks Nuggets will buy out McDyess. Wouldn't be surprised for him to land back in Detroit like the Stackhouse thing from last year. As a Piston's fan I hope we are able to bring him back.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Holy F*&K.......

So this is what it's like to have a season end after TWO games....

I guess I'll just get my gangsta ho costume ready and try to pretend that watching Allen Iverson jack up 37 shots in a "Close loss" to nearly everyone is "Enertainment"....

Jesus Joe, I TRUSTED YOU....

I'm seriously going drinking tonight...... F&*K!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blogger Basketbawful said...
your favourite sun -- Regarding Nate versus Bogut...remember, Robinson blocked Yao ming last year, so he obviously likes to mix it up with the bigs.

slick -- Yeah, I actually mentioned the salary dump aspect in my response to Cortez above. However, this is a catastrophic blow to team chemistry THIS year. And honestly, this is a win now league. There's no telling whether the rest of the team will be as good next season, nor whether they'll actually be able to land any of the name players who are going to be available. Honestly, I think this move is potentially as disasterous as "Darko over 'Melo/Wade"...

baal -- You're absolutely right. I'm going to start keeping a running list.

kneejerknba -- Great idea! The only problem is, he's not getting any of those players. Mark my words, he won't get them. Then he's going to find himself in the position the Bulls did a few years back when they blew their wad on an over-the-hill Ben Wallace.

ak dave -- You made a big point there. Detroit is a defense-first team...and AI hasn't played defense since, well, has he ever? Other than gambling and ball-hawking, that is.

Yams -- UGH! Thanks for the reminder. I keep forgetting about the Dark Lord. I'm glad you said what you did about Mo, and that I wasn't the only person who saw that as a flawed trade. Dude padded his stats last season by ball-hogging on a bad team. Why are people always fooled by that?! Sherman Douglas did it back in '91, Mike James did it a few years ago, and I could give several other examples of guards controlling the ball to enhance their numbers. Gah. As for AI, yeah, this is probably a salary dump move, but it's poorly thought out. Because, frankly, I don't think they're going to land the players they want.

Oh, and right now I'm rooting for the Celtics, if only because they're the only team that might have what it takes to keep the Lakers from winning it all this year. :)

Blogger Detroit Murder Dog said...
About Derrick Rose, the assist stats only tell part of the story. It's tough to rack dimes when your teammates suck. In Saturday's game, Mr. Softee aka the $72 Million Man shot 4 for 13 and Tyrus Thomas shot 0 for 5. The 4 non-Rose starters shot 29% against the Grizzlies. What's the point of passing if the other guys are just going to miss?!

Blogger Barry said...
I was going to ask "when did that trade happen" but then I thought "hey, it must be one of those awkward different-dimension dreams".

But now I'm still here and I'm slowly realizing that I might not wake up....

Is there an election coming up by any chance?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
pistonsgirl4life, as a fellow Dumars worshipper, I am with you. Not sure at all what Dumars was thinking, but with the signing of Kwame Brown, this has been his worst year yet, and we're only two games in.

Blogger Barry said...
By the way...what about Brian Scalabrine? Played for 6 minutes, missed his only shot, no rebounds, no assists, not even a foul...like he wasn't even there.


Anonymous Anonymous said...
i bet you didn't see the bulls games. that's what you get when you write a post without actually watching the games, cause derrick rose set up his team-mates over and over and over and over and ... (well, you get the picture). only the bulls couldn't hit an open shot if their life depended on it.

i like tyrus and i am not ripping on him, but he just couldn't throw a rock in the ocean. the shots he took were wide open, the jumpshots looked good, but they were just a little off. just not his day.

and while tyrus is not paid to score in bunches, a guy who is paid bunches of money to make jumpers and who will remain nameless sucked like the most performant vacuum cleaner ever invented. when he was wide open and got the ball, he pump faked giving the defender a chance to close in and then either took a contested jump shot or tried a weak ass penetration move that looked pathetic at best and failed more often than not.

as a testament to how good rose is is the fact that the other bulls are already deferring to him. and when they couldn't hit their open shots, shots that were mostly created by him, he took over offensively. and he didn't settle for jump shots, either. he went hard to the basket. and he's such a nice fresh thing to watch when going to the hoop. after years of pathetic half drives followed by going back behind the 3p line and some more overdribbling by hinrich, rose goes hard, uses his body very well to protect the ball and is a great finisher around the rim.

now you put a couple of people that can hit open shots (including the 3 ball) at the 2 and 3 and have him run the pick&roll with tyrus (as opposed to the pick&pop which exposes tyrus' still weak J) or the pick&pop with gooden and you got yourself an offense. simple but effective.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
pistonsgirl4life -- Yeah. Between the Kwame deal and the AI trade, I'm about ready to go check Joe's house for Body Snatcher pods. Seriously. By the way, dropped you an email but it got bounced back.

detroit murder dog -- I agree that the Bulls missed a lot of shots, but Rose wasn't getting his teammates the kind of shots that, say, Chris Paul gets his boys.

barry -- Yeah. I think we all got sucked into some kind of warped alternate reality. And I don't like it here.

cw -- Yup.

barry -- Wow. Scal was so invisible I didn't even see his line! He must have gotten his hands on Harry Potter's cloak.

caseta -- Yeah, I watched both games, thanks. But first off, regarding Ty Thomas, you don't dish to that guy for jumpers. You just don't. Part of being a good floor leader is setting your guys up for shots you know they can hit. It's also about getting them high percentage shots close to the basket. I haven't seen Rose do a lot of that yet. He seems to think shoot-first. And he's got a good offensive game, as you pointed out, but that should be his secondary role.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I dont see how the pistons feel good about this. Are there enough shots for iverson, wallace, prince, & hamilton? oh and I dont think stuckey AND maxiell develop with iverson

but the nuggets! That actually look good

smith (finally!)

6th man klezia.

they'll be fun to watch

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Firstly, Kwame Brown was signed up to be the last big man off the bench, so signing Brown isn't THAT much of a bungle. If he was signed to start, then yeah, that's pretty bad, but he wasn't so it isn't. Now, along with Billups, McDyess was thrown in for cap reasons so that changes our frontcourt lineup considerably. It has been reported that the Nuggets plan to buy out McDyess and release him into free agency where he could retire or re-sign with the Pistons (Dice is really broken up about the trade and says he will NOT play for Denver, never ever forever-ever). Now, I liked Billups as much as the next Detroiter but aside from late game free throws, his clutchability has suffered as of late and his lateral slowness has made him a liability against fast guards defensively. Now WTF is the starting lineup going to look like? We have two starting shooting guards and a half-n-half in Rodney Stuckey so...will Iverson take Billups' spot? Will Stuckey start with Iverson with Hamilton coming off the bench? Will Stuckey and Hamilton start with Iverson coming off the bench (bwah hahahaha, sorry I could barely even type that)? Anyways, Iverson's contract expires after this year so not only will we get the benefit of the "contract year phenomenon" but we will have like a bajillion dollars to revamp the roster for the next season if this gamble doesn't pay off.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
I realized that Dumars is apparently doing his John Paxon impersonation. Like Paxon the previous couple years, Dumars sat on all these guys supposedly waiting for "the big trade" that was gonna turn everything around, only to shit the bed instead. This only makes sense if Dumars now turns around and trades AI and/or Sheed this year for some really great pieces, but I don't know if he can pull that off. What else can they do? Hope for cap space this summer? The Pistons are screwed.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The reported trade that would send superstar guard Allen Iverson to the Detroit Pistons in exchange for two former Nuggets: guard Chauncey Billups and forward-center Antonio McDyess, as well as center Cheikh Samb.

I would highlight some of the names in that trade that were a bad idea for Joe D, but he's only getting one guy out of the deal. Billups and McDizzle (Roll Tide) for AI (I won't even mention Samb the Lamb).

That's like trading sex with 2 beautiful women and getting cheap help cleaning up the bedroom (Samb) for a marriage to an experienced hooker. And also, the sex with the hooker is only good if she takes up hours of your time talking previously.

You have to turn off logic, but that was a damn good analogy.

P.S. The Clippers and I (I feel their pain almost directly) might as well be the official team/mascot of basketbawful. All those damned off-season moves only to underachieve, draft a gunner to match up with Ricky "Got No" D. Did I mention that Camby and Boom Dizzle are already missing games.

I would kill myself if I didn't know that the Clippers will even suck in the afterlife. I hope I'm wrong.

Blogger DDC said...
The isn't any maybe about it. The Spurs are in trouble, even when Manu comes back they're in trouble. They were out to lunch the entire offseason and they're about to pay for it.

Blogger lordhenry said...
Woah, way to be non-biased and rag on the C's for losing to the (snicker) Pacers....I was hoping you wouldnt let em slide even though you love em. And as a Kobe fan, I love the completely biased meglomaniacal hate delivered through the fiction you write about Darth Mamba. However, I'm worried that if Kobe doesn't give you material soon you will spontaneously combust.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I guess I'm in the minority that thinks this deal is just fine for Detroit. Iverson is in a contract year and is hungry for the title he's never won. Anyone who has witnessed three years of uninspired playoff basketball is going to see a difference in intensity from a team captained by someone who knows this is likely his last legitimate shot.

Do any Pistons fans here think that Iverson-Hamilton-Wallace-Prince-Amir Johnson WON'T make the conference finals again? If they do, Detroit is no worse than before and can sign the likes of Boozer, Bosh, etc. in the coming years with Maxiell, Stuckey, Hamilton, Prince already in place. Think about that; in two years, Detroit could very well be starting Stuckey-Hamilton-Prince-Boozer-Bosh. Not bad.

Mark me; the Pistons won't stop contending so long as Dumars runs the show; you Dumars doubters may have forgotten the long, cold seasons of Lindsay Hunter, Grant Hill, Otis Thorpe, Jerry Stackhouse, etc. These years are all gravy, and Detroit'll be fine.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
My first reaction to the AI trade was "NOOOOOOO!" I've loved the Detroit style of play this whole run.

That said, it's pretty obvious that the Pistons aren't getting another title with this crew. And I think there's a lot to the free agent gambit. Dumars has stainless steel testicles, and he's willing to go after a couple of big free agents. Think about it. If Sheed is still fairly effective, plus a relatively young Prince and Rip, and Stuckey becomes half as good as I think he will, you have a potential contender. It all depends on whom they sign. In fact, I think Stuckey's performance in the playoffs sealed this deal. The man could be great, and he's got the Detroit work ethic.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge McDyess fan (breaks my heart he didn't get his ring), and I have a lot of respect for Billups. But, frankly, Billups hasn't impressed me in recent playoffs. He is most definitely not "Mr. Big Shot" anymore. So as somebody pointed out, the biggest thing missed will be his big PG body and defense.

Denver, however, really wins with this. I thought their AI trade was idiocy back when they got him from Philly. You have an impressionable young star like Melo, and you pair him with a selfish prick like AI? Really? Really?!?

Now you bring the lunch pail guys with the work ethic in. They'll play defense, and they'll bring the culture of winning to Denver (or at least it's a good bet, if Melo hasn't been fatally poisoned by Iverson). Not so sure about losing Camby, but THIS trade works.

And, I suspect Dumars is taking the long view. His team will win 45-50 games and fill the Palace this year, and maybe next year they can actually contend. No sissies in the Detroit management, fer sure.

So cheer up, Pistonsgirl4life! I think this was a good call over the long haul. This is probably a winner for both teams.

Now the big question is: which dysfunctional franchise signs Iverson next summer just to boost ticket sales? Dude's championship hopes are gone. I predict he becomes Marbury II after leaving Detroit. (OK, not THAT bad.)

Oh, and Kwame. Yeah, can't explain that one, except that the guy is practically free, and there aren't many bodies that size. Um, OK, I got nothing there. More fouls to throw at Shaq? ;) No, that one's way out of date.... >_<

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"But first off, regarding Ty Thomas, you don't dish to that guy for jumpers. You just don't. Part of being a good floor leader is setting your guys up for shots you know they can hit. It's also about getting them high percentage shots close to the basket."

don't know if that's rose to blame or the coach. on the other hand i read that tyrus has been practicing that J. since he's undersized at PF the J would open things up for him offensively. the form seemed fine to me. perhaps later in the season he'll be hitting those with some consistence. at least that's what vdn might expect.

as for high % shots close to the basket, if no one is hitting their open J's the defense will sag off them crowding the paint and making that (getting people open close to the basket) gets a lot harder.

all i'm saying is that you can't make a judgment after 2 games. i know this isn't to be taken too serious and somebody needs to be listed in the WoTW, but c'mon ... you can't use the same standards for rookies as you do for veterans paid 15-20 mil a game. give the rookies some room to breathe.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
There's no love/hate for the warriors?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
When the Blazers got Ike Diogu along with Jerryd Bayless in that draft day trade, it was like getting a free accessory you'll never use with that vacuum cleaner you ordered off of an infomercial. I'll be surprised if he's still on the team next season.

The Blazers almost let the Spurs get away with a victory in the last seconds of Friday's game, when they missed a basket that would have put them ahead by 3, and then left Michael Finley open for a possible game-winning shot. Fortunately (unless you're a Spurs fan), it missed.

Also, J.J. Redick has shown that he didn't deserve a promotion as Orlando's sixth man, but a promotion to Pat Garrity's old seat on the bench.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Regarding the Bulls:

Did Andres Nocioni turn 45 while I was on vacation? He looks like a pile of poop these days. I remember when he was catching alley-oops and cramming on Shaq in the '07 playoffs. He can't even hit a J these days. Bummer for the Bulls.

Oh, yeah, and Tyrus Thomas has been "working on his jumpshot" for 3 years now. Guess what? It still sucks horse cock. Good thing he's got all that potential still! That's worked out well for Kwame Brown his whole career- so I think TT is in good shape.

And Kirk? Dude. I've tried so hard to like you the last few years, but you're on my last nerve. YOU ARE NOT A SHOOTING GUARD. JUST PLAY THE GODDAMNED POINT!

One last thing: hey Pax? Um, yeah, where is that "low post presence" we've been told we need by every analyst, coach, talk show host, waterboy, and janitor in Chicago, including yourself? I mean, Aaron Gray is a super badass and all, but he isn't exactly what you would call a "starter" in the NBA. So, if you could take care of that as soon as possible, that would be greeeaaaaat.

Bulls will win exactly 33 games this year. Mark it down. The Circus trip will be hilarious this year.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I don't think Dumars is done dealing. I seriosuly hopes he trades Rip and Kwame for Shawn Marion. Then each team's starting lineups would look like this:


C Kwame Brown
PF Udonis Haslem
SF Michael Beasley
SG Rip Hamilton
PG Dwyane Wade

You'd then get a 1st overall pick center in Kwame, Haslem back at PF, legitimate scorer with Rip and D-Wade controlling the ball like he did his rookie year. Sure, Kwame sucks but Brown > Blount and / or undersized Haslem. And I know Wade doesn't like playing point but he'll still be a better option than Chalmers / Quinn.


C Rasheed Wallace
PF Shawn Marion
SF Tayshaun Prince
SG Allen Iverson
PG Rodney Stuckey

Stuckey can finally start at point PLUS you get three (3) expiring contracts in Sheed, Matrix and AI. Say hello to the 2010 Free Agent Super-Class!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Probably been said already, but you're a little too harsh on Rose's lack of assists. When teammates (Tyrus Thomas) shoot nothing but bricked jumpers (TT was 2-17 in one game) of course Rose's assists will be low.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I have to disagree with you putting Derrick Rose in the worst. If you watch the games you see that he's doing a great job driving to the lane and kicking it out to (insert any other Bulls players name) for them to miss it. Nobody has been shooting well for the Bulls.

He's taking on a scoring role late in the game when he is needed to try and salvage the game, he's showing great leadership that the stats don't tell.

As for tonights game vs the Magic, for some reason Kirk "trade me for a big" Hinrich ended up handling most of the game rather than Rose, trying to use him as a scorer (which doesn't bode well for his development)

Apart from that, love the Blogs, keep up the good work.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
As far as I can tell, the teammates Rose has are the same ones that Hinrich has for the past several years (except they should be better than before due to more experience). I recall reading many articles and comments by the Chicago media and fans bashed Hinrich for his inability of getting double-digit assists consistently (unlike Nash, CP3 or D-Will), although it’s obvious that there are no one like A Stoudemire, Marion, D West, Peja, Boozer, Okur, etc. on the Bulls roster, not to mention Hinrich had to work extra hard to guard the opposing best offensive guards including many tall SGs (no starting-caliber PGs in the entire L have to do what Hinrich was forced to do. On the other hard, no starting caliber PG in this L would be dumb enough to let the coach force him to guard for the team defenseless SG). Additionally, whenever the Bulls had a poor shooting night, they said it’s because Hinrich didn’t pass the ball to his teammates at the right places. They also consistently bashed Hinrich for his TO. Now, when Rose had low assists and/or the Bulls had a poor shooting night, they said it’s because Rose’s teammates cannot make the shots. When Rose had high TO, they said it’s because Rose’s teammates didn’t handle the ball well.

I’m not saying that the Bulls have great shooters (I have always said they have streaky shooters, NOT great scorers when so many Chicago fans hyped about BG, etc.). I am just wondering why these fans and media have such double standard in judging or treating people. If I were a Bulls player, I would want to get out Chicago ASAP, because you cannot blame Hinrich for not knowing how to pass the ball anymore (in the past whenever they lost the game, it’s all Hinrich’s fault). Now, it’s all Rose’s teammates’ fault.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It’s not Hinrich’s fault to play SG. It’s the fault of Paxson and coach (particularly Pax). Paxson drafted Rose as the Bulls PG of future, then he should have traded Hinrich by now. But instead Pax holds Hinrich as a hostage and tries to embarrass him to make him a backup PG (although he can start on many other teams) or forces him to play out of position. Since Hinrich is still on the roster, coach has to play him somewhere; otherwise he will have no trade value.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
With this trade the pistons "will have serious room in 09 and 10 offseasons to make a play for free agents like LeBron, Wade, Bosh, etc..."

You mean like the Wade and Bosh they didn't draft because of Milicic?
What should it be called when your team is gutted in order to have a chance at something you already spucksh'd up? (spucksh was the 'word verification'... sounded good..)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeah Hinrich has had a rough time. You can't blame chicago fans for letting rose off easy though, because a) he is a rookie and b) he is possibly the star they've been waiting for since you know who.

Btw basketbawful, I have had danny granger in fantasy the last two years, obviously he was a lot more expensive this year but it looks like he'll be well worth it. Your thoughts on the kid? Star or sidekick?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeah I agree with arlen, Detroit completely nologne'd (not as good as spucksh'd, but it has a certain quality) their chance to have Wade, Bosh or even Melo on the roster back on draft day 04.

They're not seriously going to send Rip Hamilton to the bench... are they?

I think Iverson will be the starting, ahem, point guard, alongside Hamilton, Prince, Maxiell (or Johnson, who started yesterday against Charlotte) and Sheed. Then Iverson going to the 2 with Stuckey at the point while Rip sits for a more offensive minded look?

I think some of the bigger PGs in the east, like say an Andre Miller, LOVE this trade.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"What should it be called when your team is gutted in order to have a chance at something you already spucksh'd up? (spucksh was the 'word verification'... sounded good..)"

What about make up management? Like make up calls but by the front office of a team.

(wordverification is Coman. That sounds like a non-licensed Conan the Barbarian spin off.)

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Perhaps the Pistons trade is an indirect way of admitting to the fans "Yeah, we screwed up in 2003, sorry. We want to make it up to you in 2010."

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Word verification rocks...I'll have more to say on Rose and the Bulls in today's WotN post. But to answer jr's question: Granger is a talented kid, but definitely a sidekick. The Pacers want him to be a star, and they're gonna give him star minutes and star touches. But, honestly, he's pretty much hitting his max potential right now.

Blogger Lord Kerrance said...
Check out http://www.tsn.ca/nba/story/?id=254676&lid=sublink02&lpos=headlines_main

Not sure how long the gaffe will stay up, but right now it says the AI trade gives Iverson a chance to win a championship, something he wouldn't have been able to do wit hthe Pistons.

Inadvertantly truer words have never been spoken.

Word verification is "shamp"...would that work?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ arlen In hindsight, drafting Darko was bitter sweet. Yes Joe passed on MUCH better players, but it was kind of a bad year to have the 2nd overall pick. We didn't need it (see: 2004 NBA Champions), so Joe drafted a project, an athletic 7'0 center who was scouted at having unlimited potential and only 18 years old. Turns out Darko is a moron. That's really his problem, he has the physical gifts but his basketball I.Q. is so low he is legally basketball retarded. So what did Joe do with him? Trade him to Orlando for some lame players (who even remembers?) and Orlando's 2007 first round draft pick. What did we do with that draft pick? Drafted Rodney Stuckey. So IF we do sign Wade, Bosh, and so forth, it will look like drafting Darko, in some strange way, has assured Pistons future success. I just blew your mind.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ Al
Yeah I'm not one to dump on Dumars/Pistons for that pick, but if attempting to grab 2010 free agents by doing some bad moves is not going to work out, then its like a double punch.
Back in the draft, all the 'experts' said to draft Milicic, which many casual fans probably thought 'wtf?' so its not like it was Dumars touting him on his own.
So its easy for everyone now to blame it on him, but the blame is on YOU (points finger at ESPN webiste or whatnot). And ppl think they should have taken melo? I think melo would have been really bad for that team chemistry. Also I hate melo and I would have hated seeing him go on a winning team. I was so glad they didn't take him. And wade was a great pick at #5 for heat, I dont think many experts thought he'd go that early (which again, is stupid, did they watch his college games?). But Bosh would have made sense, but Bosh ended up at Toronto which helps make the NBA more interesting, so all in all it worked out for everyone