...but still sorta funny. In a grim, morbid, unintentionally hilarious kind of way.



Thanks to all you sickos -- and there were many of you -- who submitted this.

Labels: Boston Celtics, Danny Ainge, Kevin Garnett, unintentional hilarity

McFarlane Toys provides some of the best action figures available to people who like to collect tiny, plastic versions of their favorite superheros, movie monsters and/or pro athletes. But I got a pretty hearty chuckle out of this offering from their NBA 2009 (Series 16) line...available in April: Zach Randolph in his New York Knicks uniform.


Sadly, this amazing lacktion figure doesn't come with a prop teammate and/or opponent for Toy-Bo to punch, nor does it come with a three-point arc from behind which your Lacktion Zach could chuck up countless imaginary, buzzer-beating airballs. And while the face isn't nearly round or doughy enough, I will admit that the tiny manikin is virtually indistinguishable from the real Zach on defense: Stiff and unmoving.

Other great lacktion figures in Series 16 include Knee-Mac (apparently diving for a loose ball), Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal (in his Craptors uni), and a LeBron James figure in which King Crab looks like he's squatting in apparent preparation for an emergency bowel evacuation. In fact, the product description says: "LBJ's fifth figure offers a completely unique pose -- with LeBron taking a moment during a timeout, planning out his next move..." Move-MENT, more like.

Speaking of product descriptions, here's the one for The Drain: "An off-season trade brought him to Toronto, where he's partnered with Chris Bosh as the new 'big and bigger' duo in the NBA." ("Big and bigger"? Make that "doomed and over" and we're good.) But even better is this description for Knee-Mac's mini-me: "McGrady remains the [Rocket's] most crucial player -- and sometimes being the leader means more than dunking the ball or shooting out the lights -- sometimes it means you've gotta sacrifice your body just to keep that ball inbounds..."

I love it when the jokes just write themselves. And, once again, these babies won't be out until next month. Pre-order yours today!

Labels: action figures, Jermaine O'Neal, Lebron James, unintentional hilarity, Zach Randolph

As a follow up to yesterday's Ron Artest video blog post, here's a stinging mouthful of Ron-Ron's latest song and video: "In Da Hood." But beware: If you find horrible and poorly performed rap music particularly grueling, you should skip this.

(But not really. It is, as always, completely and unintentionally hilarious, especially when Ron is cluelessly tapping away at the buttons on his mix machine, which itself looks like something off the original Starship Enterprise. A kitten walking across a computer keyboard would have a better idea of what its doing. Thanks to Dunpizzle for the link.)

Labels: crazy people, rapping, Ron Artest, unintentional hilarity, Videos