See?! Steve Nash does so play D!!
Joseph White, AP Sports Writer: A reader who calls himself spiderbeef23 -- I love it, by the way -- emailed me a link to White's recap of the Bulls-Generals game, saying: "For a moment there I thought I was reading a Bawful blog entry at By The Horns. Are we sure his middle name isn't 'Troll'?" And here's what spiderbeef23 was talking about:

Onward goes the Chicago Bulls' mediocre march toward the playoffs. After all, nothing says postseason like nearly blowing a double-digit fourth-quarter lead against the worst team in the East.

Uhm, Mr. White, you DO know that's MY shtick, right? Can you please return to the soulless, mind-numbing style of writing that is the AP's hallmark? Thanks.

The Chicago Bulls: The Bullies are fighting to hold onto the eighth and final playoff spot in the East. And get this: They're only a few games behind the Pistons -- whom they play tonight at the United Center -- and Detroit is struggling with injuries (to Rip, 'Sheed and the Not Answer) and losses (six in their last nine games). So, given the circumstances, taking on the woeful, worst-in-the-conference Wizards Generals, who were missing their second-best player (Caron Butler) should have been a lead-pipe cinch. But not for this Bulls team, who can beat almost anybody at home while losing to pretty much anybody on the road. Seriously, Vinny Del Negro needs to pray to Lord Baby Jesus so that He can use His Baby Jesus powers to do something about their "road game." It smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it...

Anyway, Chicago fell behind by 12 points early, then fought back to take an 11-point with just over six minutes to play. Then Antawn Jamison -- who lit them up for 32 points and 12 rebounds (but zero assists) --
scored 8 straight and turned the game into a dogfight that came down to the final buzzer. Oh, and I should probably mention that Javaris Crittenton, who averages 4 PPG, also scored eight straight Wizards points during the second half and finished with a season-high 18 on 8-for-12 shooting. So put him on the "Zaza List" of players who have notched a season-high against the Bulls this season. Oh, and file this one under "Wins That Aren't As Good As Others."

Tyrus Thomas: So, he shot 4-for-10. He was 3-for-4 in the paint and 1-for-6 from outside, which included misses from 19 feet, 18 feet (twice) and 17 feet (twice). Tyrus, for the love of all that's good and holy in this world and the next, STOP SHOOTING JUMP SHOTS. That is all.

Gilbert Arenas drama: Imagine my surprise: Drama surrounding the possible return of Hibatchi.

Agent Zero's comeback day is Saturday. Definitely. Perhaps. Maybe. Depending on whom you ask.

Gilbert Arenas used a variety of means Monday to indicate that he could make his season debut for the Washington Wizards this weekend against the Detroit Pistons.

"I'm playing Saturday against Detroit," he said in a text message sent to Comcast SportsNet.

Asked if it was really so, the three-time All-Star told a Washington Post reporter at the Verizon Center: "It's only true if I play on Saturday."

Arenas then told The Washington Times by phone that playing Saturday is "the plan" -- but isn't set in stone.

Arenas took a fourth approaching -- playing coy -- when approached by The Associated Press before Monday night's game against the Chicago Bulls: "Everybody's talking about Saturday, man. I don't know how you can talk about Saturday when it ain't here."

Somewhere in the middle was interim coach Ed Tapscott, who could only say that it's a "possibility" that Arenas will play Saturday. Scooped by his own player, Tapscott said he's only had a brief conversion with the mercurial star about the latest developments.

"It's wonderful that he wants to come back and play," Tapscott said. "And what we all have to do now is get together and coordinate plans and make sure that all the responsible parties weigh in so that we can do this in a way that is beneficial to everybody. That's the process we're going through now. We're hopeful that we'll have all our ducks in a line so that that will be a reality. We're not yet 100 percent sure."

Now, seriously, is all this cloak-and-dagger stuff really necessary? The Wizards Generals are a 16-win team, so unless David Stern decides to extend the season by 40 or 50 games, they're pretty solidly out of the playoffs. Hey, I like Gil and everything, but he hasn't been relevant for the last two seasons...unless you count the catastrophic damage he's done to the Wizards' Generals' salary cap, not to mention their team psyche. So he plays the last eight or nine games, during which he'll probably average around 15 PPG on 40 percent (or less) shooting, and Washington maybe scrapes out two or three more victories. So what? It's non-news.

Update! Wild Yams had this to add on the Agent Zero brouhaha: "Wouldn't it be great if Gilbert Arenas comes back and the Generals go undefeated with him and that severely hurts their lottery seeding? That way Agent Zero's destruction of Washington's season would be complete." There would be a certain poetic resonance...

The Minnesota Timberwolves: The update: Now 3-18 since Al Jefferson was lost for the season. Dear Lord Baby Jesus, lying there in your...your little ghost manger, lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental...videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors...please help the Timberwolves.

Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal: From the AP recap: "Playing without starting forward Jermaine O'Neal, who sat out as a precaution with a bruised right hip but is expected to be available Wednesday when the Heat visit Indiana, Miami blah, blah, blah...." One day I hope to track down the glass factory where The Drain was made and ask them why they don't make a better, stronger brand of glass.

The Memphis Grizzlies: They fell behind 11-0 at the start and then 30-16 after one quarter and it might as well have been "Game Over" at that point. As Hakim Warrick said: "They really jumped on us from the start. When you're playing against a team that's fighting for playoff position and playing as hard as they play, it's tough to come back from behind." Also, when you're the Grizzlies and you commit 21 turnovers, it's hard to come back from behind, or hold onto a lead, or do anything resembling winning against any team at all. But hey, they might be only 17-53, but at least they got Pau Gasol's contract off the books last season!

The New York Knicks: Okay, seriously, the AP is really trying to replace me. Here's an excerpt from their recap of the Magic-Knicks game: "Nate Robinson scored 19 on just 6-of-23 shooting for New York, which dropped its fifth straight in a late-season collapse after entertaining hopes of a playoff spot a week ago. The Knicks honored seven players from their past at halftime, then extended their dismal present by clinching an eighth straight losing season, tying a franchise worst."

Okay, that's it. I'm officially obsolete. But I'll try to offer up at least a little more semi-useful data. According to nearly 10 seconds of research, I discovered that the 2008-09 Knicks currently have 164 blocked shots on the season. That would rank as an All-Time Worst by five blocks if the season ended today. But even if they manage to surpass the 169 blocks compiled by the 1998-99 Chicago Bulls, they will still, technically, acheive an All-Time Worst since that Bulls team played during the lockout-shortened 50-game season. Next up on the list is the 1998-99 Washington Wizards, who blocked 193 shots during the lockout season. And there's no way the Knicks are catching those guys.

Wow, huh? And check out the Top Ten Fewest Block Seasons. Eight out of 10 happened in 1998-99, and the other two are this year's Knicks team and...last year's Knicks team.

Mike D'Antoni, worried about today machine: After his team suffered a fourth-quarter collapse at MSG against the Magic -- who outscored the home team 36-23 in the fourth quarter to win by 4 points -- D'Antoni said: "I'm not worried about what happened the last seven years, I'm worried about this year. I'm not very happy the way things are going right now, but we're playing pretty well, we're playing hard, and as long as we can do that, keep trying to get a little bit better." So far, a "little bit better" is all that's happened: This year's squad is currenlty up only five games over last year's Isiah Thomas-coached team. But in all fairness, they didn't have Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph this sea...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, I thought I was gonna make it through that without busting up.

The Los Angeles Clippers: Look, they are who we thought they were, okay? I have no idea what to even say about this team anymore. So here's a fun fact: 98 percent of us will die at some point in our lives.

Stephon Marbury: Last night he contributed 3 points (1-for-6), 3 assists, a steal, 2 fouls and one blocked shot against in almost 20 minutes of PT. And sadly, that might be his third or fourth-best game as a Celtic. Now, I'm not a stat geek or anything, but I will allow that PER is basically a way to compress a player's stats -- which do need to be viewed and analyzed independently -- into one tidy little number. Well, Steph's PER is currently 0.9. Now, according to Hollinger's PER reference guide, a score of 11.0 suggests "Scrounging for minutes," a 9.0 means "Definitely renting," and 5.0 equates to "On next plane to Yakima." And that's it. The guide doesn't go any lower.

Now, this spurred me to do a little extra research and, believe it or not, Starbury only has the 15th lowest PER in the league. Seriously. The bottom 11 actually have a negative PER, with Courtney Sims notching a -26.2 (in only one game). Our buddy Jake Voshuhl has easily appeared in the most games (32) of any player in the bottom 15, and he has a PER of 0.4.

For one last bit of perspective, Mario "The Mario" West currently has a PER or 13.9, which would make him a significant upgrade over Marbury. Think about THAT.

Glen Davis / Me: Basketbawful reader Ruben astutely observed that: "By saying you would choose Big Baby over Darko, you stat-cursed Glen Davis into a 1-for-11 shooting night, while Darko went 4-8 in a good impression of a decent back-up center." Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that, Glen.

Me again: An anonymous commenter corrected an omission from yesterday's Worst of the Weekend post: "How can you post that 'He was a good horse' line from George Karl without the (un?)intentionally dirty next line -- 'He was a guy you could ride and feel really good about.'" Wow. What a boner on my part. Now, Ruben followed up this comment by saying: "Will 'Good Horse' become J.R's new nickname?" Yes. Officially. From this day forward.

Update! The Denver Nuggets: Wild Yams provided some Nuggety tidbits from today's Daily Dime: "Winning in Phoenix has not been a strength of the Nuggets franchise. Denver has lost eight straight, 17 of 21 and, going even further back in the annals, 37 of 44 in the Valley of the Sun. ... The Nuggets have not defeated a team with a record over .500 since March 4, when they beat the Trail Blazers in Denver. Their last road victory against a winning team was Feb. 18. Right now when I look at the Denver Nuggets I do not see a team capable of making a run to the Western Conference finals, as was once thought to be the case. I see a team that will once again be one-and-done, and that is a tough pill for Nuggets fans to swallow." I guess all that strong play after the Billups-for-Iverson trade was, what, a dead player bounce?

The Phoenix tease: Oh sure. After dropping five in a row -- thereby dooming any realistic playoff hopes -- the Suns win five in a row to make us all think, "Hey, maybe...." Well, I call shenanigans. It ain't happening. That fact kills me, but it's the truth. At this point, the Suns and the playoffs go together like Chinese food and chocolate pudding.

Shaq, delusions of grandeur machine: He hit four of five free throws in the final 5:04 -- and seven out of eight in the game -- and then quipped: "That's what I do, baby. I'm Shaq-ovich. We needed them. I'm known that when you really need them, I'm going to make them." When you really need them...like last year in the playoffs against the Spurs, when Gregg Popovich was employing Hack-a-Shaq? Like then? Because I seem to remember The Big Forgetful going 6-for-13, 5-for-11, and 2-for-8 in three of the Suns' losses in that series. I'm just sayin'.

Lost opportunities: Bad news for Kevin Arnold as well as any "Wonder Years" fanatics out there: Winnie Cooper is off the market. Good to know there's life after 80, or however old she is now.

Lacktion report:

Wolves-Hawks: Shelden Williams came off the shelf for Kevin McHale and accrued suck differential markers at an efficient rate, going one-per-minute with a +4 in 3:54 via two bricks, one rejection, and one foul.

In the midst of yet another record-padding home stand, the Hawks opted to give Mario West more playing time than he probably has ever seen in his life, a full SIXTEEN MINUTES! Such a drastic shift in lacktator strategery required a reallocation of bench resources like none other, as the rest of Atlanta's non-contributors were needed to fill the void. Thomas Gardner cultivated a two-brick +2 in 2:07 from downtown, while Othello Hunter acted ot a +1 of his own in that same time period through a foul. And Randolph Morris had +1 via brick in 1:21!

Grizzlies-Heat: Chris Quinn mightily made 2.1 trillion for Miami.

Suns-Nuggets: Stromile Swift quickly established himself as an effective lacktator tonight, giving up the rock once in 4:47 and fouling three times for a +4.

Kobe Bryant: Mamba called up Danica McKellar's new husband to congratulate him, then added, "But you know I had her first, right?" Then he called up Fred Savage and said the same thing.

Labels: Associated Press, Chicago Bulls, fan submissions, Washington Wizards, Worst of the Night

The wussification of the league: Chris Bosh is apparently trying to inspire his team to make a (don't laugh) playoff run (okay go ahead and laugh) by getting all rough and tumble. Said Bosh: "We have to realize nice guys sit at home and watch the playoffs. That's just how I feel. Maybe I'm wrong, but if you play with more intensity you're more likely to win and you're more likely to play better basketball." To further enhance his new tough guy persona, Bosh got all up in the face of...Brian Cardinal. Oooooo.

Explained Bosh: "I don't accept people yelling in my face. I don't do that to other people so I expect the same thing in return. I'm going to turn it up and, if guys do that, I hope they're ready to handle where it's going to go." And where's it going to go, Chris? I mean, really. You're going to, what, throw down with Brian Cardinal for yelling at you? I kinda doubt it.

While Chris was hyping a potential "Bosh versus Cardinal" fight Muhammad Ali-style, Brian was all, like, whatever. "I don't think I poked the bear. It's just two guys trying to get their teams a win, trying to survive. Little old me out there, he's much taller than me (6-foot-10 to Cardinal's 6-foot-8). That's the only way I can survive is be out there scrapping and playing hard. That's all that was. And then he (started) making his shots. God love him, he played well."

T-Wolves coach Kevin McHale, who I'm compelled to mention once clotheslined Kurt Rambis during the NBA Finals and was only called for a regular personal foul, sounded semi-disgusted that Bosh's panties getting a little bunched up was even noteworthy. Said McHale: In our league if two guys aren't kissing it's an altercation. There's no altercations anymore. Go back 30 years and you'll see some altercations."

The Associated Press: Check out what the AP had to say about the Grizzlies-Crabs game: "Playing short-handed is nothing new for the Cleveland Cavaliers. With starting shooting guard Delonte West inactive two days after returning from the right wrist fracture that sidelined him for 16 games, the Cavaliers relied on a team effort to beat the Memphis Grizzlies, 94-79 on Tuesday night." Were they being serious? Did they honestly think that the loss of Delonte West was going to make a difference in this one? The Griz are 15-41 overall have the second-worst road record in the league (3-22). Meanwhile, the Craboliers are 26-1 at home and have this guy named LeBron James. Maybe you've heard of him? I understand they need to find a storyline for every game, but some on. That's a real stretch.

The Detroit Pistons: Their 12-point defeat in Miami was their seventh straight not-win. And in case you're not an amateur NBA historian, this is the first time they've dropped seven in a row since December 28, 2001. And if they don't beat the Hornets in New Orleans tonight, they'll match their longest fail-streak since 1995.

The whole mess has left the Not-Answer talkin' 'bout DEFENSE, man. "Our whole thing is not on the offensive end. We can't stop anybody. The way we're playing we have to shoot 60 percent to win a basketball game. Everybody's always going to look at the offensive end and scoring points. We scored enough points to win the basketball game. But we just can't get stops consistently. We can't get stops when we need them." For the record, A.I. is currently giving up 108 points per 100 possessions. That's three points worse than his career average. I'm just sayin'.

Random note: Did anybody else find it interesting that one game after scoring a career-high 50 points, D-Wade had a career-best 16 assists?

The Orlando Magic: When you're trying to catch the Kevin Garnett-less Celtics in the race for the second seed in the Eastern Conference, you probably shouldn't get thwacked by 18 points against teams hovering outside of the playoff bubble. But that's what happened to the Magic last night against the Bulls. And their rather defenseless loss -- Chicago shot over 56 percent for the game -- is best summed up by the following play:


Raged Magic coach Stan Van Gundy: "Our starting lineup brought nothing to the game. I'm embarrassed and disgusted by what I saw. I don't know if our players are, but they should be. Our guys want to talk about being a contending team. We're still not tough enough and we don't play hard enough" Van Gundy then ate a live kitten, despite its frantic and persistent mewing.

The Dallas Mavericks: Normally, the Mavs getting kicked around by the Spurs in San Antonio wouldn't be that big of a deal. But the "Spurs" were playing without Tim Duncan (sore right knee) and Manu Ginobili (flop practice). Dallas should have won this one, or at least been competitive. But they were not. Tony Parker (37 points, 12 assists) absolutely destroyed Jason Kidd (2 points, 4 assists) -- remember when the Spurs almost traded Parker to get Kidd? -- and Kurt Thomas (10 points, 15 boards) almost outrebounded the Mavs' starting frontcourt (Erick Dampier, Dirk Nowitzki and Josh Howard) by himself. Dallas shot 34 percent and had only 10 assists (compared to 12 turnovers). Truly bawful. Said Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle: "I can only shudder to think what would happen had (Duncan and Ginobili) played."

Tracy McGrady: The Rockets have won eight straight at home and five straight overall. Both streaks are season-highs. It's...it's like they don't even miss him.

Bobcats-Suns: From Basketbawful reader DKH:

A few revenge games: Diaw: 10 of 12 for 27 points to go with 10 rebounds and 6 assists. Bell: 9 of 14 for 23 points, 3 rebounds, 3 assists. J-Rich: started slow but had 20 points on 10 FGA to go with 3 rebounds and 3 assists. But, he fouled out. Still pretty efficient. Doesn't really quality as a "revenge game", but Dudley had 2 point, 4 boards, an assist, and 2 steals.

WoTN nomination to Emeka Okafor. I'm not sure he ever passed the ball back out (0 assists); he spent the whole game in foul trouble and was pretty much schooled by Shaq.

I also wanted to nominate Terry Porter for a developing "worst of" situation: Goran Dragic has improved rapidly since Gentry took over. He is playing with much more confidence, shoots the ball more, doesn't dribble into as many worthless situations. Gentry is treating him differently than Porter did, and it seems to be helping him develop.

On the other hand, SSOL is to the NBA what the spread offense is to college football. It lets mediocre players put up stellar numbers. However, Dragic is a rookie, and now we'll get to see how he develops.

Additionally, the broadcasters commented early on that Bell and Diaw were happier in Charlotte. Which shouldn't be true, considering Charlotte is 10 games worse than Phoenix. So, I'm not sure what Porter was doing, but the amount of player discontent would be incredibly disturbing to me, and if I were a general manager looking for a head coach, I would steer clear of Porter.

Lacktion report: Take it away, Chris...

Grizzlies-Cavs: With this game pretty much decided at the opening tipoff, Adonal Foyle - who the Warriors chose 8th overall in the 1997 draft - walked on the court for Memphis and delivered a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl via foul-and-nothing-else in 2:59, also good enough for a +1. The crustacean clique has seen a major personnel shift as of late, with Tarence Kinsey having to say goodbye to his life as a lacktator these days, coming out of his shell to be a starter tonight. Confused by his All-Lacktion teammate's transition, Darnell Jackson also provided contributory basketball, forcing King Crab and Mike Brown to crown Trey Johnson as the royal landfill crawler. Johnson skillfully managed garbage time by clenching out a +1 in 1:33 via foul.

Pistons-Heat: In 1:41, Detroit's Amir Johnson merely milled two fouls for a +2. Joel Anthony for Miami continues his consistency in creating lacktivity with a one-foul +1 in 3:22, which also counted for a Madsen-level Voskul of 1:0.

Lakers-Thunder: Clay Bennett believes that greed is good. So he must be relieved that the Tyson Chandler trade didn't go through, as the focal point of the deal - an aging Joe Smith, another mid-90s Warriors first-rounder -- pilfered a freshly shrinkwrapped copy of WiiFit off the shelves tonight with a 14-second Mario! (Interestingly, like Dikembe Mutombo's Mario from a few weeks ago, ESPN disagrees and claims on its box score that this never happened! Bias against elderly lacktators from the Worldwide Leader?!)

Mavs-Spurs: Devean George and Matt Carroll have kept Dallas in the lacktion reports the same way Mark Cuban keeps his big ego in front of the cameras over the years, and this game at AT&T Center was no exception. George probably has a good view of the Alamo by now, due to two bricks coming from downtown; couple that with two fouls and that produces +4 in 10:08. Carroll's statline made him look like a Mini-Me compared to Devean, with half-sized numbers -- 5:12 on the floor, with one foul and one missed shot each for +2. Teammate Erick Dampier downright delivered as well by managing a slight 4:3 Voskuhl in 8:59 (one foul and three turnovers against one rebound and made field goal each), more impressive considering Dampier's role as a starter!

Kobe Bryant: Mamba handed Adam Morrison a huge laundry bag full of dirty jock straps along with instructions to wash them by hand. Adam dutifully complied, but when he tried to return them, Kobe said: "Huh? You can do whatever with 'em. I don't even know who they belong to."

Labels: Associated Press, Brian Cardinal, Chris Bosh, the wussification of the league

"Forever's gonna start tonight, baby."
Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Emeka Okafor: See above. Get a room, ladies.

The Associated Press: From last night's game recap: "Branded a one-man team in the past, the Cavaliers showed they can survive without their superstar." Uhm, yeah...against the Bobcats. The Charlotte Bobcats.

In all fairness, it wasn't just the AP. Zydrunas Ilgauskas was also really excited the Cavs could handle the Bobcats while LeBron was getting a long breather in the fourth quarter. "It was kind of weird seeing LeBron on the bench. We got away with it, and if we can do that it will only help us and help his career." Wait. Did I fall into a coma and wake up at a time when the Bobcats are actually good? That didn't happen, did it?

More from LeBron. "We had a lot of guys contribute and I got a lot of rest. Coach believes in our roster and I believe in our roster. I don’t have to average 42 minutes like I have in the past because of our depth." IT WAS THE BOBCATS, PEOPLE! They didn't even win a game during the exhibition season. Calm down. Seriously.

The Charlotte Bobcats: Ugh. Just...ugh.

Raymond Felton: Going 1-for-10 will always earn you a place in WotN. Congratulations!

Sean May: His long awaited return was...kinda sad, actually: 2 points on 0-for-6 shooting in 15 minutes. Three of his shots were blocked. Speaking of which...


Thanks to Basketbawful reader Garron for the video.

Linton Johnson: Brett from Queen City Hoops brought Johnson's line to my attention: 10 minutes, 1 foul, and zero-for-everything-else. Regarding this, Brett said: " I know he is not supposed to be scoring much, he was signed to bring some defensive intensity to a Bobcats squad lacking in it. Yeah, when he was on the court the Cavs scored 166.7 points per 100 possessions, as compared to 110.3 overall. Tough defense. I love supporting the Bobcats." If this keeps up, Basketbawful might have a new mascot.


Mike Fratello: Near the beginning of last night's Rockets-Mavericks game, the Czar of the Telestrator chuckled smugly and assured us that Josh Howard was probably in for a rough night, what with Ron Artest guarding him and all. Well, Josh struggled so badly that he scored 28 points (on 11-for-19 shooting), grabbed 11 rebounds and dished out 4 assists without committing a single turnover. So, you know, good call, Mike.

(By the way, I remember thinking last season: "When was the last time Ron Artest really shut out an uber-talented offensive player?" I mean, he still plays aggressive defense, but is he still a lock-down defender? I'd have to go back and check the box scores, but it always seemed like the scorers usually got their numbers against him, and Kobe flat-out lit him up a couple times. I'm going to keep my eye on this as the season goes on...)

Yao Ming: He was great last night -- 30 points (11-for-15), 13 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 blocked shots -- but two things bothered me. First, he didn't win the opening tip. I was like, "Whaaaaa...?!" How in the name of Lincoln's wart does a nine-foot man lose the tip to Erick Dampier? I mean, Damp was never one of the great leapers, and I'm not sure I've seen him actually leave the ground since '06. Shouldn't Yao be able to just stand there with his arms raised and win the tip against pretty much anybody? Then...there was this...


Stuffed by the rim, Yao? Really?! That would be like me getting my shot sent back by the Jordan Jammer. Again, a man who is nine feet tall should not have these problems. It makes no sense.

DeSagana Diop: I openly scoffed at all the people who said that Dallas had made a critical error by including Diop in the Jason Kidd trade. He was too valuable, they said, for defense and rebounding. Some even said he was the Mavs' Center of the Futures (TM). Am I the only person who sees Diop for the awkward stiff he is? Well, me and the Nets, because they sure didn't want anything to do with him when his contract expired over the summer. But the Mavericks tried to redress their "mistake" by re-signing Diop in the offseason. There reward for such amazing forward thinking will be many nights like last night, when he contributed zero points and one foul committed for each rebound grabbed (3 of each) in 11 lackluster minutes. Oh, and his defense was so great that Yao was shooting over him like he wasn't even there. And, really, he might as well not have been.

Jerry Stackhouse: Stack (2 points, 1-for-6, 1 rebound, 1 assist, 1 turnover, 1 foul in almost 18 minutes) is D-U-N.

Reputation calls: In the fourth quarter, Josh Howard elbowed Yao Ming. Naturally, they got in each others' faces and Ron Artest rushed in to play peacemaker. Of couse, Ron-Ron got T'd up. Not cool. But on the upside, that proved to be a relationship building moment for Yao and Artest. The big guy defended Artest to the officials, and after the game he said: "Ron's a very good teammate. That happened once in the preseason and he did the same thing. He's trying to help a teammate, sacrificing himself." Has Artest finally grown up? I'll be keeping my eye on that this season as well...


The Phoenix Suns' handles: I once participated in a basketball drill where we had to work on ball handling and precision passing while wearing big, thick mittens. As you can probably guess, it's nearly impossible. Anyway, I'd like to pretend that's what the Suns were doing last night. They committed 24 turnovers that were converted into 21 points for the Hornets. Steve Nash was the primary culprit with 7 turnovers.

The Suns in the first seven minutes of the second quarter: Let's see...1-of-7 shooting and seven turnovers. No wonder they fell so far behind. Did somebody spike their Gatorade during the first quarter break or something?

Leandro Barbosa: The line: 2 points, 1-for-6 from the field, 0-for-5 from downtown, 2 rebounds, zero assists, 3 turnovers and 3 fouls in 21 minutes. It makes me sad that somebody so young, quick and talented can be so ineffective. It's the same kind of disappoint I feel when my pet monkey just sits there eating bananas instead of picking his nose or comically scratching his butt.

Robin Lopez: It was a rough night for Bozo the Rookie. He played one minute and 35 seconds, contributing zero points, zero rebounds, 1 turnover and 3 fouls. That's impact! The way accidentally setting your own pants on fire is "impact." By the way, that happened to my friend Dave D. once. He was goofing around with a pack of wooden matches when one he had just lit popped out of his hand and dropped under the table. We all just assumed it went out, but maybe half a minute later we smelled smoke: The match had lit the frayed edges of his pant cuffs. Fortunately, the fire was quickly extinguished and nobody was hurt. That kind of stuff always happens to Double D. Once, I swear, a wasp flew down the the neck of his shirt, then, when he yanked it open so the wasp could fly out the bottom, it went down his pants. Some people just have bad luck. He's one of them.

Mike James: The Hornets are good, there's no question about that. But they are not deep. That's their "Walton's foot." (By the way, I've decided that "Walton's foot" is going to replace "Achilles’ heel" in all future posts.) Yeah, they beat the Suns last night. But Terry Porter is clearly working hard on establishing a 10-man rotation. Trust me, that's going to make Phoenix better in the long run. The Hornets? They could very well run out of gas by the time the playoffs roll around. Chris Paul played 38 minutes last night while his backup, Mike James, put in about nine and a half minutes of -- you guessed it! -- lack-tion: Zero points, 0-for-2, 2 rebounds, and zero assists. Yeah. You'll might also notice that while CP3 had 10 assists, the rest of the buzzing bugs produced only 6...and 4 of those belonged to David West.

The New Orleans defense: Before you get all excited about those 24 forced turnovers -- most of which were the result of poor and misguided "passes" by the Suns -- keep in mind that Phoenix shot 54 percent from the field.

Update! Kobe Bryant: Oops. Almost forgot. Thanks for the reminder, Yams. Last night, Kobe spent the night collecting a huge pile of rocks to hand out to Trick-Or-Treaters tonight. He also took a few hours to complete his costume, which is make of real, living human flesh.

Update! Rec League losers: From Basketbawful reader Trev: "I got a Worst for the Night for you, even though it doesn't involve the NBA. Last night in our Rec League game, 3 of our 4 top guys for whatever reasons decided not to show up, leaving us with 4 guys. Me (29 and about 65 pounds over my high school, read prime, playing weight) 2 guys in their mid-30's and our 2nd best player overall, an actual real-life baller. Up against a team with not only the 5 starters that are usually a given but also 2 bench players (all of which where younger than me by the way). Anyway it's decided by the powers that be that we will play 4 on 5 and all was going as you would expect with team cinco going up by 15 at one point, but the old guys cut it to 8 by the half and then open the second half on something like a 16 to 2 run to not only improbably catch team cinco but actually take a 6 point lead. We held onto win by 4. How humiliated would you be to let a team with only 4 players hang around let alone beat you? Pretty bad right? Wrong!! Team cinco was talking trash THE ENTIRE GAME even though they had one extra guy on the court and where losing!! They even complained about an injury time out when one of our four got a bloody nose taking a charge. If that doesn't get a Worst of the Night I don't know what does."

Labels: Associated Press, Charlotte Bobcats, DeSagana Diop, Jerry Stackhouse, Leandro Barbosa, Linton Johnson, Mike Fratello, Mike James, reputation calls, Worst of the Night, Yao Ming

I had initially not paid much attention to the pulled Nike Hyperdunk advertisements on which Basketbawful gave his opinion last week, but I noticed a lot of people were commenting, so I reread his post to refresh my memory.

I agree with everything Basketbawful said. It’s not difficult to find a lot of people who agree, because we are the vast majority. Most of us believe it’s a shame how easily people are offended, but an even bigger shame that those few – very few – thin-skinned individuals can actually effect the world at large.

I decided to perform an online search to see if I could view the entire ad campaign. I wanted to have a better sense of its full scope, and perhaps write a post about how “offended” I am at the racial make-up of the dunkERs vs. the dunkEEs (the only picture I’d seen was of a black player dunking over a white player – excuse me, an African-American player over a Caucasian player). The intent of my post, of course, would be to illustrate by way of satire the foolishness of those who were so offended.

Anyway, when I googled “Nike Hyperdunk ads,” I couldn’t find the ad campaign. I imagine most evidence of it has been burned, buried, or shot into space to ensure nobody else is offended by it. What I did find however, was a July 29th, 2008 item on Advocate.com (a national gay and lesbian online publication) entitled “Nike to Drop Offensive Hyperdunk Ads.”


After a quick glance, I was about to exit this page when I noticed the “(AP)” at the end of the text followed by the Associated Press copyright notice: “© 2008 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.”

From everything I’ve ever known about AP releases, news distributors (when given permission to use these items) are meant not only to attribute the items to the Associated Press, but also report said items without altering even one word of it, which is covered in the copyright notice: “may not be…rewritten...”

So the Advocate properly footnoted the source of the piece – the respected, unbiased Associated Press. But I’m looking at the title of this article, and I’m thinking it looks curiously biased to me. “Nike to Drop Offensive Hyperdunk Ads”? Wouldn’t the Associated Press – the true standard-bearer of “fair and balanced” reporting - realize that these ads were only offensive to a very few, and that calling them “offensive” in the title implies that everyone on the planet regards them as offensive just as certainly as we regard the White House as white?

Well, the writer of the Associated Press did know this, it appears. I looked further, checking with the Associated Press site itself, which has a search mechanism allowing visitors to view random local news websites that reprint AP material. In article after article, I found the original title of the Nike news piece:
“Nike to drop Hyperdunk ads some see as homophobic.”
Big difference.

Here are screenshots from the many publications I found that reprinted this news the correct way:

Indianapolis Star
York Dispatch
Mississippi's Clarion Ledger
Astoria, Oregon
Detroit News
Bennington Banner, Bennington, VT
East Valley Tribune, Phoenix
Hawaii
Ventura County, California
The Daily Journal, NJ
St. Petersburg Times, Tampa Bay, FL.
Ft. Myers, Florida
San Diego, California

Some of you may be asking yourselves if there were there even slight variations on this title. Well, I did my research, and yes, I found one variation:

“After earlier defense, Nike says it will drop Hyperdunk ads some see as homophobic.”

I found this alternate wording in three locations. It was exactly the same in all of them, indicating to me this is some authorized AP variant of the title. More importantly, the variant does not alter the bias, meaning, or context of the original title:

FW Daily News, Indiana / Ohio
Los Angeles KFWB News
West Texas News

Now, the Associated Press has a very strict code of values and principles. Their press release on this subject includes phrases such as “we abhor inaccuracies, carelessness, bias or distortions” and “Quotations must be accurate, and precise.” One assumes, then, that they demand the same from those agencies that reprint their material.

The AP also requires written permission for use of its material. One must also assume, then, that the AP would never have authorized the Advocate’s modified title, since it so clearly changes the title’s context and meaning. If they did, shame on them. If they didn’t, shame on Advocate.com.

I consider this a significant breach of journalistic integrity. The Advocate is supposedly the preeminent publication, both in print and online, for homosexual men and women, and it appears on the surface to be altering pieces of Associated Press news to fit in line with its own agendas. This is an AP news piece, not an editorial piece – and yet someone at the Advocate appears to have decided to editorialize, essentially informing readers that the Nike ads are offensive. That, friends, would be more offensive than the Nike ads themselves ever were.

The Advocate was at least wise enough not to alter the body text of the piece, which appears to remain in tact. There is, however, one thing at the end of the second paragraph (and this is hilarious because it shows that the editors of the Advocate are fully aware of journalistic guidelines) where they write “the [Portland] Oregonian reported.” For those who don’t know, square brackets signify missing material; in other words, the original AP article didn’t have the word “Portland” in it, but the Advocate folks wanted to make sure you knew the town from which the Oregonian originates. That’s nice of them, isn’t it? And yet they aren’t at all concerned that you know they altered the title of the article to suit their political views.

Allegedly.

There's one bright spot here. A majority of the comments by readers of the Advocate (which I have saved in a lengthy screen shot for posterity) state that they don’t find the ads offensive either. What does this suggest? It suggests the Advocate is not in sync with the gay and lesbian community and shouldn’t bother to claim it speaks for anyone but its own collective editorial staff.

To those who would complain to Advocate.com, don’t bother. If the Advocate catches wind of this, they’ll fix that online title faster than the Nike ads disappeared. All I want you to do, loyal Basketbawful readers, is follow this link, see that I speak the truth, and add a comment to this post that you saw the Advocate title is exactly as I’ve said. Your comments are far better proof even than my screenshot, since we all know that nowadays it’s as easy to alter a picture as it is to alter an Associated Press news piece.

I don't know if AP news titles are altered by news outlets with regularity. I have made an inquiry about this issue to the AP, and have received no response as of the time of this post, but I'll update you with anything I learn. Regardless of who is the responsible party here – the AP for authorizing such a blatant bastardization of their material, or the Advocate for bastardizing it – somebody in this food chain has spit in the face of proper journalism.

I can just see this item as reported by the Associated Press on Advocate.com:
“Mean Jerky Sports Website picks on Pure Innocent Gay Advocacy Publication.”

It’s all about the spin.

Labels: Advocate, Associated Press, Hyperdunk ads, Nike