- First, I just wanted to say that you Celtic lovers here at Basketbawful are a bunch of pussies. I hate you.
- Second, I want to tell you I'm leaving and never coming back to this site. It's not even remotely close to what it used to be. I'm not sure if you care, but I wanted to say that, because I felt it was important that you and all the other readers know that I'm leaving.
- Third, I know I don't pay anything for this site, and that you don't owe me anything, but fuck you. Seriously, you have the nerve to distribute awesome, hilarious basketball analysis for a number of years, keeping me entertained over the summers even, and then expect me not to bitch, and I mean endlessly bitch, when you decide to move on? Where's my blog reader Bill of Rights? Seriously, you guys suck.
- Finally, I hate you. I know I said that in the first point, but I wanted to say it again because I figured the last thing I say would stick with you to your grave, which I hope you go to soon. Again, because I feel that repetition breeds understanding, fuck you.
Checking into this site somewhere around game 3 or 4 of the NBA finals, it was partly amusing, partly upsetting to me that:
- None of our gracious contributors managed to post anything since my Bawful-ET Skype post (thanks for breaking the silence, Raza)
- Various people still manage to harbor hatred and venom for any post that is submitted, and this a full year after Bawful and I have, for all intents and purposes, abandoned this place.
- My "Traveling" narrative was referred to as a "self indulgent shit fest," a full year after it came out. I mean, I KNOW it was a self indulgent shit fest, but I figured I could get away with it in the off-season. Incidentally, I plan to put "self-indulgent shit fest" on the book jacket. Pure awesomeness. Also, I was amused to learn I went to the Grand Canyon.
I digress...
There is a silent, decent majority of readers for whom I am willing to conduct an important service. To anyone within the sound of my typing, I challenge you to write a synopsis of the 2012 season in Basketbawfulness. Or just recap the Finals. Do what you like. There's plenty to write about: one of the most celebrated / demonized / polarizing teams in decades (perhaps ever) has won the championship. Scads to discuss. Throw pictures and captions in there as well.
Consider your writing seriously (I'll know quite easily who does) and submit it to become a new contributor to Basketbawful. Send it to me at ted.evil@gmail.com. I will post those that stand out. Comment strings will be written, cast as votes if you will, and perhaps the cream will rise and we will get a new contributor, or three, to this site. The job requirements are:
- An ability to write humorous, oft-cynical material about the NBA. Fandom of a particular team is not verboten by any stretch, but an ability to be self-aware and cognizant of said biases makes writing to the masses far more palatable.
- A thick skin. Ain't everyone gonna like what you have to say, my friend.
- A commitment to write next year with relative, committed frequency (if we get multiple talents, of course that frequency could go down - but multiple posts in a given day would, of course, not be a problem).
- A positive, supportive attitude to the other contributors to the blog.
The opportunity presented here is to have your words seen by a lot of eyeballs. This is a popular site. But don't go thinking that being "picked" is a ticket to fame and fortune...Bawful and I did a lot of work here, and very little has come of it. You need to write because you love it, and want to share your unique point of view with other NBA fans.
Now it is up to you, readers, to make the Phoenix rise...good luck, and write well.
50 Comments:
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Previous Posts
Back from the Dead: Worst of NBA Finals Game 4Game 4 ECF: Bawful-ET Skype
I've just seen a face
Wally Szczerbiak is a Douchebag
Worst of the 2012 WCFs: Game 2
Worst of the Night: May 24, 2012
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So, hey, who knew the Boshtrich was so important.
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When we can only get one post up during the finals, clearly it's time for a new approach.
Hope this pans out though. What you should do is recruit the best of the forums you already frequent to write technique-specific posts or editorial-specific posts.
Here is my take of 2012 season.
For many years i and everyone else (seemingly including Lebron himself) thought Lebron had some serious pussy ache problem that causes him to underperform on important minutes. As of this season, he figured out it is not a pussy ache, it is just a boner that comes with blue-balls. Now he knows how to make himself feel better, I am afraid that the teams we support will be f**ed by Lebron in some 2-3 more years to come.
Anyway, thanks to yourself and bawful, for an awesome blog over the years.
Hopefully some new guys can take the baton.
can't understand how you can't get paid to do that stuff! You are the fruit left on the vine to rot. The backyard court, trip to Birdland and the one where you tape a camera to your head are gold.
I will say that the second it appeared the Heat were champions, any fun left in the NBA was gone. So until Derek Rose comes back at full health and attempts to save us from this new hell of an NBA where evil scum like Pat Riley rule (for the time being), I personally will not be paying attention to professional basketball, and certainly don't blame you for any lack of updates to this site.
good luck and looking forward to reading more bawfulness.
greetings from germany
Rico, the anger was satirical. Sometimes, with people reading from all over the globe, certain tones can get lost in translation. I am not angry at anyone.
To all, English should be your first language if you choose to submit, or you should have an enormously well-honed grasp of English. An ability to connect with readers generally requires native knowledge of the language.
LotharBot - Nothing is outside the realm of possibility. If it is entertaining, knowledgeable, and well-crafted, it will join the potential mix. Hell, if we had specialists of specific teams from all over the league, that would be wicked. According to one e-mailer he has season tix to the 76ers and can take his own pics and so on...hopefully he can write. We'll see.
ET
I pray that this last straw will deliver us some much needed new blood.
I will keep checking in to basketbawful regularly even after multiple years of inactivity, that's how deeply i need this stuff. time to stand up, chosen ones!
God i hate mainstream media NBA coverage
If you feel you can legitimately contribute, throw your hat in the ring.
ET
- Chris Bosh entirely disingenuine 'hype up'. Remember that play in game 3 or 4 (cant remember) where he got a pass inside, bobbled it, dove on the floor to recover the ball and got the timeout call? If you had only seen his celebration you would have thought he'd just had a championship winning last second dunk over all 5 thunder players and half the bench. Since when is saving a ball you originally lost the appropriate time to froth at the mouth with excitement? There are others but that play was just too funny.
- The sob story that is Mike Miller. Literally any time Miller does ANYTHING the play by play announcer goes back to how Miller's back is really hurting and he's trying so hard. Defensive rebound?
"wow Millers playing hard". Tried to take a charge but got called for a block? "and Millers back is really hurting". Airballed a three? "Mike Miller is just a warrior out there". After 6 consecutive months of basketball NO ONE is feeling great. Trust me, I've been there. I'd guess that the majority of players on both teams playing real minutes have at least one or two nagging strains and bruises that are holding them back a bit. But the guy averaging 16 minutes a game is the true warrior. Of course, he ends up giving me a big 'F U' in game five, playing absolutely incredibly after only averaging 9 minutes in the series. and Yes, I'm clearly incredibly bitter he ended up contributing so much in the close out game lol.
Here's the play you were talking about Chris Bosh
Sefolosha 3pt Shot: Missed
Bosh Rebound (Off:4 Def:4)
Durant Foul: Personal (2 PF)
Battier 3pt Shot: Missed
Team Rebound
Durant Fadeaway Jump Shot: Made
Bosh Driving Layup Shot: Made
Perkins Foul: Shooting Bosh Free Throw 1 of 1
Get your facts right.
Raza Wade stepped up, but it's not enough to get the ring.
Hey, wait a minute...
I will say this. It's not necessarily a question of people leaving...we're all around, just very busy with life and such.
I am making a bit of a transition into being more professional with my video productions, so I look to have something to contribute from time to time (a proper original video takes longer to produce, ergo...)...I'm giving that the necessary attention, and may, just may, have some utterly wowtastic stuff to post (here and elsewhere) if we can keep this wagon train going. When I have material, I will let y'all know.
ET
I won't lie - I've gone back and searched through old posts during dry stretches during the 2011-12 season. Some hilarious basketball writing for the ages there.
I am glad that this site will live on in some shape or form!
Yep, i was wrong. It was this play.
Bosh Rebound
Ibaka Foul
Bosh Turnaround Jump Shot Made
Durant Foul: Offensive Charge on Chris Bosh
That was a good ride, 7 solid years, but in life after years the time to change comes.
I hope you find some good new blood.
Thanks for your work.
Leoni
I'd love to contribute, but my time is constrained as well. Besides, you guys set the bar so high over the years, it's a daunting task for others to match it. Good luck with getting some new blood.
there should be a bawful review of all these things. Anyone?
And if you came here to be negative about a free website....just get your ass back to the retarded comment section of Ball Don't Lie.
All that being said, I do plan on trying to contribute next season as always. We'll see how it goes, but I do plan on writing again.
And make sure you get over your ex, sometimes ''staying friend'' is just a way to stay close to her because you can't really accept the breakup.
Take care, don't listen to the assholes who write crap about your blog and just remember that no matter how much your life sucks, you're not part of the Bobcats organisation. :D
Don't apologize for livin', Dan B. And don't feel like you have to put your life out there for anyone as an explanation.
I've also been following this site for years, and if there's anything to say, its that your efforts showed big time in here. Never before i have seen a blog like this or this funny, anywhere. And to the idiots that not understand the task that is, fuckoff!!. The basket in my country is as Bawful as it can be. It's non existant. We suck bad. But never thought like putting up with an idea like this. So again Ted, i (and a lot of folks) really appreciate all the effort. And the laughs. From a country in the end of the planet, we salute you!! Best of Luck and Godspeed. Go Celtics!! A Chilean Bawful for life.
Matt: good luck with Scarlett Johansson!
And for what it's worth, I enjoyed your Traveling serial quite a bit. You critics out there are Philistines whose idea of good literature is the plot of the first Halo installment. For them: The Halo is ripped off from Larry Niven's Ringworld, dumbasses!
We're not dead, we just can't post on a regular basis anymore (clearly), prompting my call for people who can fill in the sizable gaps.
I plan to be around to moderate where needed...
...and like I said, I'm moving into film stuff, so expect some vids from me in the future that (I'm hoping will knock people's socks off).
And thanks for your thoughts on Traveling. I greatly enjoyed writing it.
ET
Santa Claus -- First, I feel weird addressing you and not asking for a Super Soaker or a Batman action figure or some other kickass toy. But anyway, I am trying to keep some distance to help me get over her. We haven't seen each other in person since we broke up (even though she has asked me to come over and see her a few times now...). Plus I have been trading messages with a girl on match.com so we will see how that goes.
Anyways, I also just wanted to thank you guys for all the lulz over the years. Really hoping you find some good people to man the fort. Now that the mainstream media tells us that LeBron is not a bad guy anymore (just like Kobe after he one a ring without Shaq), a fully functional Basketbawful is more important that ever!
Good to see Dan B. back in the mix. Also, will Raza continue writing? I enjoyed his stuff alot.
And I dont really understand all the hate you got in the past ET, I like your style of humour and your videos are always gold.
So there, another anonymous person appreciates your work, for all that it's worth.
With the selction of Anthony Davis, the Hornets promise the city two things:
- A bright future
- And a solemn promise to wax the sh*t of out his eyebrow
Roundball Manor will do our best to carry on Basketbawful's torch