For those who are not yet following the amazing Hardwood Paroxysm on Twitter, here's a recap of the breaking insanity in Orlando:

12:45 PM EST - CBS Sports reports via the New York Times's Howard Beck that Stan Van Gundy tells press Pumaman Dwight Howard has asked for the outspoken coach to be fired.  Seconds later, Dwight walks up to him and puts his arm around the bench boss in a vote of "confidence."

Since then, HP has retweeted quite a few gems on the developing situation, while...THE OFFICIAL ORLANDO MAGIC WEBSITE HAS JUST ACTUALLY POSTED A VIDEO OF THIS.  And CBS has graciously provided full quotes for those who need more evidence that even Bill Russell never was this sullen.

To quote Timothy B. Schmit of the Eagles, "Nothing's wrong as far as I can see!!!!!!!"


And now on to the retweets:

- HP himself compares this central Florida workplace to Office Space, leading to quite a few comedic lines!!!!

- Marc Stein points out that this is basically a point-of-no-return for Stan.

- Someone comments they really DO want to hear The Big Voskuhl, er, Shaq Fu's input on this.

- With Mr. Howard's obvious choking history, and locker room toxicity, one wonders why he is not disliked as much as King Crab.  In similar vein is this wry analysis by Ken Berger of CBS.

- A comparison between this and Magic Johnson getting Paul Westhead fired in LA - oh, except Magic had a title AND Finals MVP already.  Again, watch the Youtube at top to see what Pumaman has so far for "signature Finals performances."

- The Orlando Pinstriped Post blog provides comprehensive coverage of the unfolding mess.

- Maybe Magic management regrets this whole, "let's tell Stan" thing.

- Stan knows where he stands: "It’s 12:02 right now. If they want to fire me at 12:05, I’ll go home and find something to do. I’ll have a good day."




- Not forgotten: Stan's past coaching travails in the Sunshine State.

- A silver lining to all of this - BETTER TV COMMENTARY.

- HP himself not exactly impressed with those Magic fans who think Mr. Howard has handled the situation with class, decorum, and tact.

- Some guy from the Wall Street Journal found today's press junket...awkward.

- From Holly MacKenzie - Tony Allen defends his coach!  And Holly appreciates Stan's Pepsi swag.

Yeah.  What an hour this has been.  The National Basketball Association: It's FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5:49 PM EST - Latest HP retweet - now both Van Gundy and his team are NOT making themselves available for the media in the usual pre-game slot.  Locker room closed.  Interesting that they all were rather willing to open their mouths just 5 hours ago...

7:46 PM EST - HP now retweets this rather obvious note, that Stan has felt the demands and pressure from Pumaman ALL season long.

8:43 PM EST - Just saw this quote from lacktion artist Ishmael Smith:

“My mom loves soap operas, so for me to be a part of one is pretty special,” Smith joked. 

Labels: coaches who are dead inside, double standards, Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic, pumaman, Stan Van Gundy