64918819Say goodbye to the Conference Finals

First, a little business: I will be out of town on vacation the rest of this week, so I won't be writing BAD posts for Games 2 or 3. Thankfully technology will allow me to post comments or tweet so I can share my smart-ass musings if I feel like tapping something out on my phone.

In today's absurdly ridiculous NBA legal news update, JR Smith got busted for illegal scootering. I can't shake my head discouragingly enough.

And finally, I hope you appreciate these last few games. It's probably the last NBA action you'll see for over a year.

Worst of the Eastern Conference Finals Press Conference in Pictures:

64919797"I'm going to the NBA Finals? Golly gee willickers!"


64919384"I am the most boring man on the face of the Earth"


64919365"I wonder how much I can get my for my MVP trophy on eBay..."


Game 1 of the 2011 NBA Finals:
Mavericks at Heat, ABC, 9pm (Series tied 0-0): Here's a cool but probably meaningless stat from the Elias Sports Bureau: "Dallas has won its last 14 regular-season games against Miami, the 2nd-longest winning streak teams to meet in the NBA Finals. The other 4 teams to enter the Finals with at least a 5-game winning streak against their opponent have gone on to win the title."

Why do I say this stat may be useless? How often do you see a team in the Finals that looks as completely transformed as this year's Heat? Right now they're hotter than Tabasco Family Reserve. But during the regular season, they were at times more dysfunctional than a sitcom family. And of course this stat is also useless because it goes deep back into previous seasons, with different players and coaches. Remember Miami's 2007-2008 team? Dwyane Wade played in only 51 games. Shaq gave them a mere 33 games. Ricky Davis was the only player to play in all 82 games for that team. (For the love of God, Smush Parker was on their roster!) Amazing how much the times change, eh? How did they turn it around so much? I need to think about this one for a few minutes -- if you need me, I'll be in the Chamber of Understanding


Okay, I figured it out: Dwyane Wade is really good at basketball. So while we talk about LeBron this and LeBron that, don't forget the other guy he's going to have going to the foul line approximately 1,847 times during this series.

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23 Comments:
Anonymous cam said...
I feel like you've really dropped the ball this year.

I understand that there are no "endless riches" in blogging, but your standard just isn't what it used to be. I used to rely on you for info & a bit of humour, but you've strangely come down with some pretty serious cases of the cant-be-f#cked's this year, and it's made me a bit sad.

Now this? No posts on games two and three? I've been waiting all year for the finals, the most important stretch of the year, and you're not going to be blogging for more than one-quarter of it? Once again, I know it cant be easy, but you've got thousands of people who depend on you. I've been reading you for four years.

This blog just seems to be missing the heart it once had.

Blogger Dan B. said...
you're not going to be blogging for more than one-quarter of it?

Buy me a laptop so I can type with more than my cell phone while I'm out of town and then I can write up my posts on the road. :)

(FYI, Bawful will still have WOTN posts while I'm gone, don't worry.)

Blogger stephanie g said...
God speed My Little Ponies. We're all citizens of Dallas on this day. A ring must find its way to Brian Cardinal's finger.

I hope Deshawn does some neck cutting and can't feel my face gestures.

Blogger Wormboy said...
@cam: this is Dan. It is reasonable to expect that Matt and maybe Evil Ted will be posting.


And I don't get the "chamber of understanding" video! I watched it for 10 minutes and nothing happened!













j/k

Blogger Dan B. said...
How should one describe this first half so far? Crack open a thesaurus and look up words like "sloppy," "ugly," and "terrible."

(Damn it, I forgot. Nobody actually owns a thesaurus anymore. Fine, go Google it.)

Blogger Drake said...
I do believe that you are in demand, Dan B.

And awesome picture! I like the fact that Kurt Thomas is giving it from behind to Lebron, while having the courtesy to go for the reacharound.

Blogger Will said...
So ESPN thinks Juwan Howard is the first member of the "Fab Five" to play in the NBA finals. Apparently they forgot about Jalen Rose.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Apparently at the start of the season Terry got a tattoo of the Larry O'Brien trophy on his arm. Way to go Jetard, now the Heat are gonna win for sure.

On the plus side, there's been a lot of Wade and LeBron man love.

Anonymous Axel F said...
If the Heat win this thing it's going to make me sick. I will be physically ill. Possibly violently ill.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@Axel F

I'm glad the ipecac is working, no go away, hater...

Anonymous Wouter said...
Anybody see that flop Eugene Terry tried to pull on Lebron midway through the 4th? Shot goes up, misses, Terry falls down like he's just been struck by lightning. Looked especially impressive on the replay, where you can clearly see him jump up & fall down after he realised the shot had missed. Needless to say if that were any of the Heat players, it would've been an outrage again.

Sad to see Nowitzki get that injury though, and I'm sure someone will twist Lebron's words on it to make him look like an ass again.

Anonymous JJ said...
The only thing game 1 showed was that Heat knows how to close out games. Otherwise, both teams played ugly and out of sync. At least, officiating was decent. Wade seems like he's either hiding an injury or he lost a step. Dallas needs to go to Dirk way more. I don't care if Marion literally is on fire. You still go to Dirk.

Blogger Ragib said...
Wouter - do you mean Jason Terry right? The 3pter on the left (from an offensive players perspective) corner? That was hilarious. Initially it did seem like LeBrons feet where under Terrys feet so he fell when he came down, but the replays showed he landed solidly on his own two feet, fully flat on the ground, then jumped up again to fall down.... lol.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Well said Wouter. And nowwwww, the Heat cheat again because poor whittle Dirk hurt his whittle fingie. I'm so sick of all the haters. Give credit where credit is due. Easier said than done to stop both Wade and LeBron. Chicago got to Wade and he did not have a great series but he is a great player and Dallas' D will not contain either player this series. The Heat even had bench players chip in last night. More so than the Dallas bench. Nice dunk Haywood.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
I hate to say it about such a genuinely nice guy, but it's time to take Peja out behind the shed and put him out of his misery.

And Jason Terry is a massively overrated tool.

Captcha: Entonio. The Joke writes itself.

Anonymous JJ said...
Forgot to mention, last night reminded me how ugly Marion's jumper is. Through his entire career, no one ever made him fix it? Seriously? It even has a low release point so Wade could make the crucial block without even jumping too high. Serves him right for having the fugliest jumper ever. It hurts my eyes every time I watch him shoot. I find it ironic that he now plays with Dirk who has one of the best releases.

Anonymous Vanilla Thunder said...
Haywood wasn't the only one to get blocked my the rim. His Highness felt the sting of basketballs best defender a couple plays later ( A sinking feeling every pick-up play over 6 ft with a decent vertical has felt.)

And that was a clean strip on the boshmellow that Dirk got hurt on.

Anonymous Wouter said...
Ragid: Yes, Jason Terry. His middle name is Eugene believe it or not. I prefer that though, fits him better for some reason.

The Heat just proved in the first three rounds that they can overcome youth and experience! By beating the the Bulls, they showed that the 3-0 sweep didn't mean anything in the Playoffs.heat have overcome this whole season. they took so much pressure and still they made this far. from there, i personally think Heat deserves this championship as much as Mavs, since both team has worked so hard and made to the final.thanks for sharing this.

Anonymous Raising Your Child said...
I haven't enjoyed watching the playoffs this much for a long time. We had upsets, legendary games, rising superstars, veterans taking over.
I think most people outside of Miami want to see the Heat lose, rightly so. I just hope that Dirk and Kidd can finally win a ring because they really deserve it.

Anonymous Raising Your Child said...
The Heat played a .500 76ers team, a Boston team with a one-armed point guard and a Bulls team that struggled to score 80 points. The Mavs can defend James and Wade better than the Heat can defend Dirk.
Yes, i'm a HUGE homer and I feel like it's time for the Mavs. No more heart breaks.
Mavs in 6. Dirk for Finals MVP.

I can’t wait to see who’s gonna take the championship. It’s hard to predict since both teams are doing good in this series. This is gonna be an exciting game.

James really has stepped it up lately.

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