20110524-keith-bogans"I'M OPEN! LET ME SHOOT IT!"
"Yeah, you're open for a reason!"
"...I'M OPEN! LET ME SHOOT IT!"

So it sounds like Mike Brown is your new Los Angeles Lakers head coach. Mike Freaking Brown. Get ready to go from the Triangle Offense to the What The Hell Am I Doing Offense!

Here's a fantastic what is this I don't even moment from the Basketball Jones.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:
20110524-chris-boshCaption This!
Eh, what's up, Bosh?


20110524-lebron-james-keith-bogansLeBron's new nickname: Spoonman


20110524-lil-wayneYou know you want to rock a pair of checkered flag socks the next time you're out in public


Nationally Televised Games:
Thunder at Mavericks, ESPN, 9pm (Mavs lead series 3-1): I saw this stat from the ESPN Stats and Info crew: "Kevin Durant was 0-6 with James Harden on the bench during the fourth quarter and overtime in Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals. Durant is now 1-9 from the floor this postseason with Harden on the bench during the fourth quarter and overtime, including 0-7 from the 3-pt line." So I guess the proper move here would be to play James Harden all 48 minute? Instant success! (Stretches back in chair, kicks feet up on desk) Damn, no wonder Mike Brown can be the Lakers coach. This job is easy! Where's my $4 million per year?

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22 Comments:
Blogger Mr. Satan said...
Was Lil' Wayne donning Lakers apparel on purpose because of that minor fiasco involving him being shunned by Wade and LeBron?

Blogger Wormboy said...
Nice Soundgarden allusion, surrounding a juicy filling of Seattle. A 90s memories burrito!

Blogger iambnot said...
BTW, that is the Bostrich Mating Pose

Blogger Dan B. said...
Wormboy - I watched an old Beavis & Butt-head episode the other night from back when the Seattle grunge scene was still a big deal. They saw an old Black Sabbath video. Beavis asked "Are these guys from Seattle?" Butt-head responded "No, assmunch, they're American!" I miss the 90s so much.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Do we mockingly call them Chokelahoma again? Or do we laud a great season for a young team that should contend for years?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
They're not contending. Westbrook is nationally exposed now. Perkins didn't help.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
So Westbrook is a lost cause then?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Oh and the guy named David who responded to my post in the previous post, Sun Sentinel ftw!

Blogger TeamD said...
Westbrook is horrible, every game he lost the ball in key possessions.

I am ecstatic about Mike Brown on the fakers, they can finally fail Hollywood style.

Anonymous Business Time said...
Dirk definitely deserves this. Hope he doesn't get post traumatic stress disorder facing Miami. Also, anyone else think that defense-only coaches like Brooks and Thibodeau are getting exposed? Their complete lack of offense down the stretch in key games is costing both of them their series. Which ties in deliciously with the fact that Mike "Iso" Brown is now coach of the Lakers.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Bosh caption: Purple Rain...Purple Rain...

Anonymous Karc said...
This is looking golden for Miami. When the door closes on the Mavs in 2 years, they really have no one in their way. Lakers, Spurs, and Celtics are done. Thunder reached their peak as Westbrook is out the door, no chance Chicago gets this lucky again without moving someone, namely Boozer (and they overpaid for him).

I was one of many that was hoping the Heat wouldn't win it all this year, because there is no way that with that talent and some more help every year down the line, they weren't going to crush everyone. I didn't feel the same way about Boston, not because they didn't suffer as much (LeBron and Bosh were going nowhere, so I get why they left), but because that move was their last stand.

And by the way Thunder, maybe if you stopped acting like a bunch of prissy-prep boys with your press conference accessories and focused on winning the 4th quarter (Durant's backpack, Westbrook's Urkel glasses, and now Harden) maybe you'd still be in this series.

I was slowly going to tolerate the Mavs winning a title, until Cuban pulled a Kanye on Doris Burke. Shame. Dude had behaved himself to that point. Act like you've been there before, because you have.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Business Time - "Hope he doesn't get post traumatic stress disorder facing Miami."

More like, hope Dirk doesn't regress to the mean, just enough to let Miami win and to give him the soft choker label again.

Anonymous Karc said...
BTW, the Kevin Durant villain watch continues.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO2eXPOHbGo&feature=player_embedded

Granted, when you get to the conference finals and lose the way the Thunder did, a little bitterness is fine. And the reporter (probably works for the Mavs or ESPN) was clearly leading him on. I mean, "how do you feel for Dirk to get over the hump of losing all those times in the first round and getting back to the Finals at your expense?" Really? I wonder what would happen if Kobe said that (which he would) or LeBron said that (which he might). They'd get crushed, mostly by us.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Karc - I saw that live, and in writing up tomorrow's post I couldn't even joke about that moment ironically. As I wrote (or will write):

And did someone actually ask him how he felt about Dirk getting back to the Finals? I can't even joke about this ironically, because I know someone will twist this sound clip negatively against KD.

Anonymous Vaanhalen said...
Please tell me someone read up on this Bosh/Noah exchange.

First it has Bosh commenting on his aversion to taking an aggressive stance. I'd say that's universally accurate. Second it has Noah calling Bosh out as a follower. Third, Bosh's words: "I don't put my heart into the business too much."

Perfect. I only wish the Heat weren't ahead. Maybe Boshtevich will get shut down in the next round by Chandler's physical play.

Anonymous Wouter said...
And again with the obvious homerism for the Bulls. Yes, Lebron traveled. But do you have any idea how the Bulls even got to their "Rose vs. Lebron" fluke at the end of regulation? Because the refs bailed the Bulls out by calling an offensive foul on Lebron that clearly wasn't one. Brewer was flopping and didn't even have his feet set. But of course we can't mention that, no. Obviously the Bulls only lost because their coach can't run an offense, because they were gassed at the end of the game and because Rose doesn't have any help. Waa-waa-WAAAAA!

Blogger TransINSANO said...
More like, hope Dirk doesn't regress to the mean, just enough to let Miami win and to give him the soft choker label again.

Even more like, hope Dirk doesn't go soft and choke in the Finals again. That boy is our last hope.

Also, you're being a little hard on Westbrook and the Thunder. By all rights these kids should have been preparing for spring quarter finals, not the freakin' NBA Finals. They're like 22, they can get better.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@Business Time
I'm disgusted that you would call Brooks a defense-only coach. He's not even that. He is mediocre at everything, last season's defensive success was possible only thanks to assistant Ron Adams, who joined the Bulls during the summer to create the ultimate defense alongside Thibs.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Altough I HATE the triunvirate, I'm sooooo glad so see Loozer exposed!!
First of all, dear jazz fans and NBA analysts, the main loss of the jazz this season was NOT Boozer or Korver, it was Mathews. Period!!!
Boozer will NEVER, EVER lead a team to victory in key games. He will not step up when your key man is in trouble (DWill or Rose). Of course, he will put above-average numbers, 20-10 maybe, but when things get tough, he hides (far, far away from the basket, behind a deep fallaway shot). Not to mention his defense, which is like Santa Claus: an imaginary entity which we stop believing at 9 or 10...

Anonymous Batmanu said...
This job is easy! Where's my $4 million per year? - Dan B.

Make that $2.5 million when they don't pick up your option. xD

Anonymous AK Dave said...
@TransINSANO:

No. There is another.

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