20110517-rick-carlisleRick Carlisle demonstrates that Dirk is a robot through interprative dance

Sorry to keep this one short -- I've had some unexpected changes to my schedule the past few days. You know, kind of like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has had a change of schedule. I'm sure he didn't plan on needing to bitch to the media about not getting a statue. Come on! He deserves a statue just for his glorious acting performance as That Big Dude That Got His Ass Whupped By Bruce Lee in Game of Death.

Nice shades. Deal with it


Worst of the Night in Pictures:

20110517-kevin-durant"Come on, Dirk! You're making me waste a totally awesome box score line!"


20110517-mavs-fanWhat is this I don't even...


20110517-mark-cubanWe gotta work on that jumpshot form, Cubes. Get that elbow in line with the target!


Nationally Televised Games:
Heat at Bulls, 8:30pm, TNT (Bulls lead series 1-0): LeBron has a head cold. However, don't expect an historical game -- "Head Cold Game" doesn't quite roll off the tongue like "Flu Game," after all.

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27 Comments:
Anonymous Czernobog said...
A head cold, seriously? LeBron is the antithesis of everything I follow sports for.

Blogger Dan said...
Bosh said, “I was always looking for the answers to the rebounding and all that stuff. A dude just told me just go get the ball one day. It made sense.”

No one ever told him to try to get the ball before? Coaching!

Anonymous Aaron said...
like the elbow from last year...the PR is setting up an excuse for the failure

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I assume this went something like:

*Reporters ask LeBron questions at practice. Notice nasally response.*

"Hey LeBron what's wrong?"

"I've had a head cold the past few days. Nothing serious. Affected my energy but I'll start on Wednesday"


what an evil terrible bastard. Looking for whatever excuse he can come across.

Anonymous Koggz said...
If the Heat win, I can't even begin to imagine what the reaction would be if LeBron collapses into Wade's arms at the end of the game after bowing to the heavens for allowing him to steal a win in Chicago. There will be hell on Earth, and its name shall be Chicago.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
And of course, he'll go for 40 or 50 and this will be called the "Cold Game". There is no God.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Jordan didn't have influenza aka the flu. He had, depending on the source, either a stomach virus or a foodborne illness. The flu is serious business and generally knocks even healthy people out for a week or two and can kill you if you're immune compromised, young, old or just unlucky. For some reason colds and digestive problems are often colloquially called the flu, usually by people who've never had the flu. The "flu game" is just another little bit of market mythologizing. Not that playing that well with food poisoning and vomiting all day and almost collapsing from dehydration isn't awesome either...but it's not the flu.

/needless pedantry

But if LeBron had a cold, what was Wade's excuse? Exhausted from too many beach sex parties?

Blogger Mr. Too Nice Guy said...
The best part is that he hasn't been able to sleep for multiple nights because of it. Give me a break already LBJ.

Blogger Mr. Too Nice Guy said...
Sorry to double post, but the Heat are in the bonus now with 9 minutes left in the second quarter. Pretty ridiculous considering some of the fouls (loose ball scramble for Watson, ticky tack foul on Deng for covering LBJ, etc.)

Anonymous Zoo said...
How do I submit to this guy? I heard an "unintentional dirty quote machine" moment from steve kerr - "Spoelstra's really riding Haslem out there, how much more can Haslem take?"

Anonymous Zoo said...
How do I submit to this guy? I heard an "unintentional dirty quote machine" moment from steve kerr - "Spoelstra's really riding Haslem out there, how much more can Haslem take?"

Blogger Will said...
Taj Gibson- perfecting the lost art of having your shot blocked in.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
So yeah, the Heat still cannot win games decided by 5 points or less

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Udonis Motherfucking Haslem.

Anonymous ChrisLTD said...
Gaaaaawd. That game was incredibly frustrating. The Bulls were so flat and couldn't buy a shot.

Memo to Miami players:
Don't wear your mouth guards if you're gonna leave them hanging halfway out of your mouth the entire game.

Anonymous Blizzard said...
@Anonymous, yeah I know, Tom Haberstroh said that like 5 times while creaming his panties over on ESPN's Twitter feed.

Anonymous Mladen said...
@stephanie g:

I agree. LBJ is not the only one whose exploits are sometimes exaggerated.But, as you said, even a "stomach virus game" is pretty bad-ass.

@everyone:

Something just occurred to me, after reading the comments in the last post: has a team with the 1st pick in the draft ever selected a guy who wasn't projected by the "experts" as the No.1 overall? Seriously, it seems like teams in that position never ever do the scouting, nor do they take a look at what they actually need. I get the impression that for them, the draft is more like the one in the old NBA Live games, where you have no idea who the prospects are, and you just see their projected draft order... Anybody have some insight or opinion on this?

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Ugh, what an absolute stinker by the Bulls. And I had to hear Miami's defence credited with their inability to hit layups, free throws, and open 3s.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Oh, and has Asik scheduled an appointment at a VD clinic yet after exchanging fluids with Wade?

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
@Mladen

I think the Magic took Dwight Howard when he wasn't the consensus #1.. Emeka Okafor was generally considered the #1. And went on to win the rookie of the year.

I think we know who made the best choice in that one, in the end.

Then of course there was the Bargnani draft. Where we took Bargnani. "Yay".

Blogger Wormboy said...
Sure did see a lot of Luol Deng dribbling around the court at times last night.

Anonymous Wouter said...
Is any non-Bull fan out there surprised that the Bulls put up an absolute stinker on the offensive end after playing very well the previous game? I mean, they've been doing this all season long and unfortunately Rose is not going to be able to bail them out every time, especially against the Nazgul (pretty cool name for them, I must admit) and stifling defense. I think it's pretty clear Haslem gave them what they were really sorely lacking: toughness and scrapiness in the paint. Boozer is still a **** (whatever you want to call him), at least he hasn't done that ridiculous shimmy in a while now.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
How sharp are Wade's elbows? Anyone who's ever been elbowed in the neck will attest that it hurts like hell, but rarely does it split.

@stephane - great, great point. If Jordan had actually had the flu, in all likelihood playing a game of basketball would have escalated it to pneumonia. Then he might have died.

Anonymous Karc said...
http://probasketballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/05/19/nike-to-start-selling-kevin-durant-backpacks-of-course-they-are/

At first, those backpacks during the press conferences were cute. But now it's somewhat obvious that money is the only reason Durant looks like a dork out there

I'm marking this the unofficially start of the face heel turn for Kevin Durant. Nike getting their hooks into it is never a good sign, most recently Nike's "What should I do" (i.e. the "FU" ad) with LeBron. But there's already some evidence with the offensive flops and the wiggle before every free throw (again, was cute, but now is annoying).

This is a slow burn, though. Probably won't blow up for a couple of more seasons, unless they win a title. Then it's happening next season.

Anonymous Mladen said...
@The Other Chris:

Yeah, that's the only example that came to my mind as well, although, I do remember that, as the 2004 Draft neared, most of the experts started favoring Howard as No.1. Still, you have a point, as in the beginning nobody was really impressed by him. I remember that on draft night, he was referred to as "the poor man's Kevin Garnett".
Also, yeah, Okafor won ROY and Gordon won 6th man...seems like an alternate reality now, doesn't it?

@Anonymous:

What probably happened is what happened to me when I was playing 2 on 2 one day - his elbow hit Asik on the chin, and since the chin bone is apparently pretty sharp, and the skin is not so thick, it cut open a blood vessel. It looks worse than it is.

Anonymous samsteel said...
Gotta love Blake Griffin...

"Is that a tiger?!"

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DweRWrfH17v8%26feature%3Dplayer_embedded

Blogger Dan said...
Bawful, you let that gambling spam go through? That game must have really affected you!

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