denver fans
I understand Nuggets fans have suffered...but why take a pot shot at poor Cleveland?

The Washington Wizards Generals: 39 percent shooting. 20 turnovers. A 26-point deficit. A 113-96 home loss. A 15-40 season.

This shit wasn't supposed to be happening, right? I mean, Washington drafted John "Freak of Nature" Wall and suckered the Magic into taking the shot to the nuts that is otherwise known as The Contract of Gilbert Arenas. Now, the Associated Press is describing the Generals as "lifeless" and stating that their "games are becoming so joyless that even the players can hardly stand them."

And, believe it or not, that's actually a totally objective observation.

Said Andray Blatche: "Guys didn't bring no effort. They outworked us on every possession. For a minute out there, it seems like guys didn't care after a while -- like we just gave in to a team that we're definitely much better than them if we compete. But nobody brought heart with them."

In related news, Blatche, Washington's starting center, finished with the same number of rebounds (5) as Darren Collison, Indiana's starting point guard. And Collison did that in about seven fewer minutes.

Added John Wall: "This game we didn't fight at all. It's getting old."

In related news, Wall went 5-for-15 and had a game-high 6 turnovers.

Did I mention that the Pacers had 26 fast break points and a 45-26 advantage in free throw attempts? Or that Indy's bench outscored their counterparts 48-25? Or that they outrebounded the Generals by 10 (46-36) through three quarters (that is, before garbage time ensued).

I guess 'Dray was right. Guys really didn't bring no effort.

The Toronto Craptors: You knew this was coming:


What can I say about this loss -- in which the Craptosaurs trailed by as many as 22 and never really threatened in the second half -- that Toronto coach Jay Triano didn't?

Said Triano: "Really, it was men against boys."

Or the living versus the dead. But not in the totally awesome way you're thinking.

The Dinos hacked and slashed their way to giving up 42 free throw attempts. And when they weren't clubbing the Bobcraps, the Craptors were watching them run downcourt for an easy score, as Charlotte finished with 26 fast break points.

This was Toronto's 11th consecutive road loss...which ties the franchise record set during the 2004-05 season. Their next road game is in New Jersey on March 4. Bawful History could be made. Again.

The Sacramento Kings: Those Paupers had to be feeling fresh last night. After all, they didn't have anybody in the All-Star Game. In fact, they didn't really have anybody who qualified to wash the jock straps of the guys who did play in the All-Star Game. But that freshness turned sour pretty quickly as the Sactowners fell behind 35-16 after 12 minutes. They would go on to trail by as many as 29 points before eventually losing 117-97.

Said Kings coach Paul Westfail: "They pretty much came out in the first quarter and took care of business. And it was finishing up the game after that."

Zydrunas Ilgauskas: From starter to benched in favor of Ericka Dampier. And, despite the magnitude of the blowout, Big Z was the only one of Miami's 12 active players who didn't log a single second. Not even a Super Mario.

Said Heat coach Erik Spoelstra: "Erick will be our starter for now. But you can believe Zydrunas will have a role."

A role known as "Big, goofy-looking white guy at the end of the bench."

The Los Angeles Clippers: Blake Superior finished two dimes short of a triple-double (28 points, 11 boards, 8 assists), but he got into foul trouble and had to sit for long stretches of the second and fourth quarters, during which the Clips were outscored 72-43. In fact, The Other L.A. Team immediately gave up a 15-0 run when Griffin sat down in quarter two.

Said Clippers coach Vinny Del Negro: "It was kind of turnover after turnover, and we were chasing them again. Too many turnovers and too many missed free throws."

The numbers: The "Blakers" bumbled the ball away 17 times which led (in part) to 20 fast break points for the Thunder. The Other L.A. Team also bricked 12 free throws.

Of course, Vinny failed to mention a team defense that let OKC finish with an Offensive Rating of 123.1. Just felt I should throw that in there.

The Detroit Pistons: Houston's rookie forward Patrick Patterson scored 11 of his career-high 20 points in the fourth quarter. And he made three clutch plays down the stretch -- a tip in, a three-point play and nailing a couple free throws -- as the Rocketeers beat the Pissed-ons 108-100 in the Palace.

Said Will Bynum: "I thought we did a good job defensively. I thought they just made shots and Patterson kind of killed us on the boards."

For the record, Patterson had 5 rebounds.

Tayshaun Prince, worst player of the night: 1 point on 0-for-9 shooting. It was the second-worst shooting game of Tayshaun's career. He scored zero points on 0-for-10 shooting back on January 13, 2008.

Said Detroit coach John Kuester: "This is one of those rare games that he didn't have it going as much."

Talk about having flair for the understatement.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: Dig this totally unironic (one assumes) line from the AP: "[Brandon] Jennings had his best game in the last six, shooting 7 of 17 from the field -- including 2 of 8 from 3-point range." You know a guy's shooting has been flushed down the crapper when "best game in the last [whatever" is followed by 7-for-17 and 2-for-8.

Anyway, the Timberwolves now feature Darko Milicic AND Eddy Curry. And they say contraction is a bad idea. The only reason to watch this depressing team is to see whether Kevin Love can bust Moses Malone's double-double streak. Which is kind of like watching a train wreck to see if any survivors will pull their broken, bloody bodies out of the wreckage.

Oh, and hey, while we're mentioning the busts on this team, don't forget Sebastian Telfair is still comin' off the bench. He went 0-for-7 last night, by the way.

Brandon Jennings, quote machine: "Second half of the season so, you know, you have to get a little more serious. We have to come more mentally focused and ready to play."

Maybe if Brandon and company had, you know, gotten a little more serious during the first half of the season they wouldn't be 22-34.

The Memphis Grizzlies: Who would have have bet on going into this one? A Memphis team that had won 12 of its last 13 games or a Nuggets squad that just lost 50+ PPG and dressed only eight players?

You would have bet on the Grizzlies. Of course you would have.

Ff you follow this site, you know that teams should beware of the Wounded Tiger. Remember how the Cadavers won their season opener against the Celtics? Or, more appropriately, how the Nyets surged after owner Mikhail Prokhorov "walked away" from the 'Melo trade (only to crawl back a few weeks later)?

Well, the Nuggets were wounded, man, and it showed in the way they devoured the Grizzlies. Denver scored 102 points in the first three quarters, led by as many as 27 and coasted to a 120-107 win.

Said Al Harrington: "I'm just happy it's over with. Period. We won't have to answer these questions no more. I hope this is the last time I'm going to have to answer any trade questions for a long time."

Associated Press writer, quote machine: Nominated by our own Dan B: "The mood was Melo-choly at the Pepsi Center." Seriously.

All I konw is that this "Melo-choly" is killing poor George Karl.

george karl
Jesus Christ. All the 'MeloDrama did to Goerge Karl
what toxic waste did to that dude in Robocop.

The Golden State Warriors: You know when I knew the Warriors were gonna lose this game? When I read in the game preview that the Celtics had lost six straight road games to the Warriors and hadn't won in Gol_en State since December 29, 2003. On that date, Boston's starting lineup was Paul Pierce, Mike James, Jiri Welsch, Walter McCarty and Vin Baker while Gol_en State went with a starting five of Nick Van Exel, Jason Richardson, Cliff Robinson, Mike Dunleavy Jr. and Ericka Dampier.

Oh, what a titanic battle that must of been.

Anyway, stat curse for the win. The Celtics shot 55.6 percent and won by 22 points despite committing 18 turnovers (to only 11 for the Warriors) and having a 28-11 disadvantage in free throw attempts. It helped that they held Gol_en State to 39 percent shooting and an Offensive Rating of 97.1.

Said Stephen Curry: "When they made their run, we kind of sunk our heads a bit. We didn't have the composure down the stretch to make plays.

The Atlanta Hawks: Have you ever seen a bird fly beak-first into an oncoming car? Because that's what happened to the Hawks last night: 36 percent shooting, 1-for-15 from three-point range, outrebounded 54-32, and down by as many as 29 points before finally losing 104-80 to the Lakers in L.A.

Said Atlanta coach Larry Drew: "I thought our guys took the path of least resistance the whole game. On offense, we settled, and defensively, we didn't play with physicality. I just thought we settled, which is starting to be a pattern with us."

In related news, the Hawks have lost four of their last five games.

Added Al Horford: "I'm trying to figure it out. We had a great practice yesterday, so it was frustrating being out there. But you have to give them credit. They came out and did their thing. They took over, man. They really dominated at both ends. We really have some soul-searching to do as a team, and it's discouraging."

I just love it when teams that aren't as good as they think they are try to figure out why they aren't as good as they think they are.

Chris's Lacktion Report:

Craptors-Bobcats: Joey Dorsey polished his blades of steel in just 49 seconds by skating briefly on the court for a Mario!

Pacers-Generals: Despite checking a board into his tab, Hilton Armstrong also only lasted 54 seconds on the hardwood for a Mario.

Purple Paupers-Heat: Jamaal Magloire made a board irrelevant in 3:57 with a brick and three fouls to give Miami a 3:1 Voskuhl.

Wolves-Bucks: Tiny Earl Boykins barged into 8-bit gaming with a 22 second celebratory Mario.

Clippers-Thunder: Rasual Butler clearly took his Null-Star snub to heart, gathering up a 4.8 trillion (4:49) that will no doubt earn him access to Donald Sterling's janitorial closet.

For Oklahoma City, Nick Collison combined a board, two made free throws, and two steals in 22:33 with three fouls and a turnover for a 4:3 Voskuhl.

Celtics-Warriors: Semih Erden erased four assists and a board in 17:10 with four fouls and a turnover for a 5:1 Voskuhl.

East Oakland's Charlie Bell rang up a foul in 2:16 for a +1.

Labels:

44 Comments:
Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Guys didn't bring no effort. They outworked us on every possession. For a minute out there, it seems like guys didn't care after a while -- like we just gave in to a team that we're definitely much better than them if we compete. But nobody brought heart with them.

Holy good God. The hubris, the irony.. it make my brain hurt! Andray, pot, kettle, black. Glass houses, stones. Etcetera, etcetera. Since when are the Wizards "definitely much better" than anyone other than a few of their fellow bottom feeders?

Blogger Will said...
The sign on the left reminds me of this. God I love Sam Wyche.

Anonymous Barry said...
The Blakers?

I can dig it.

Blogger winnetou said...
Even worse: While today's playoff picture is only a snapshot, it's remarkable to see that Indiana is currently not their fellow bottom feeder, but actually the 8th playoff seed in the Eastern Conference.

Blogger chris said...
And...

This video BETTER make it to BAD tonight.

Blogger chris said...
And an amazing photomontage of a former Duke "star."

Blogger LotharBot said...
Goerge Karl?

I nominate Marc Gasol for a WotN: he didn't quite have a Voskuhl, but 10 points and 2 boards vs 4 turnovers and 6 fouls is pretty damn sad for a guy who's supposed to be good.

Blogger chris said...
BREAKING NEWS:

Deron Williams exiled to Newark, New Jersey, with Devin "I knew we were going to be a playoff team" Harris heading to Salt Lake City!

I think we can safely say that the Devin Harris Record Since His Stat Cursing needs to be updated with the final number.

Anonymous Aaron said...
well...at least this means jerry sloan was not pushed out by Deron Williams

Blogger Basketbawful said...
BREAKING NEWS:

Deron Williams exiled to Newark, New Jersey, with Devin "I knew we were going to be a playoff team" Harris heading to Salt Lake City!


Just peeked over my cube to tell Evil Ted. His response: "Wow. Is Jerry Sloan coming back?"

Anonymous Karc said...
Deron Williams got what was coming to him when he pushed Sloan out of Utah. Have fun with the Nyets.

I wonder if the Nets told Anthony that if he went to New Jersey, he would play with Deron Williams. In an age where players can talk about joining together on a super team two years ahead of time, this cannot possibly be perceived as tampering, right?

@chris - Jazz are currently 8th in the West. Stat curse still applies. They won't make the playoffs with Devin Harris. It'll just be funnier now because the Jazz were looking really good two weeks ago.

Blogger chris said...
And, if I'm not mistaken, the final post-Harris Stat Curse Nyets record stands at...

53-150 since he opened up his big mouth in late 2008.

That's nearly two full seasons worth of losses!!!!

Blogger Basketbawful said...
By the way, the final tally on Devin Harris's stat curse -- he said "We knew we were going to be a playoff team" on December 9, 2008, when the Nyets were 11-8 -- stands at 52-150 and included one of the worst seasons (12-70 in 2009-10) in NBA history.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Ha! Chris and I were tallying at the same time.

Blogger chris said...
The Nyets are already two wins better this year than last though!!11!!

...which still puts them 26 games under 500.

Blogger Will said...
chris, Bawful, Karc et al.- How funny would it be if Devin Harris leads the Jazz out of the playoffs?

Blogger chris said...
Aw, how adorable: when the stat curse was in its earliest stages, someone was already tracking our efforts to follow the Nyets' resultant downward spiral. Good times.

Anonymous Karc said...
From Bill Simmons twitter:

"I love that the Carmelo saga lasted 7 excruciating months and Deron Williams got traded in 3 seconds."

Really sums up the difference between an organization that knows what it's doing (Utah) and an organization that fumbles things on every level and bitches about it until it gets a lockout (Denver).

Blogger chris said...
Fun fact:

Devin Harris has not made the postseason since the Mavs' infamous meltdown to Golden State in 2007.

Blogger Dooj said...
Ok, who won the bet for Sloan and Deron leaving Utah within 2 weeks of each other?

Blogger Wild Yams said...
So now with Melo and D-Will gone, does this mean the Suns can actually sneak back into the playoffs this year? It would be interesting to see yet another Spurs-Suns playoff battle if Phoenix can capture that 8th seed.

Man, the West is getting weaker and weaker with each passing day while the East is getting stronger and stronger. Definitely a switch from a few years ago.

Anonymous Nick said...
Great!
Now bring Sloan back!

Anonymous Karc said...
The thing that really makes me smile about this whole deal is that I think Prokhorov totally outsmarted the Knicks. Did anyone really think that Carmelo Anthony really wanted to go to the Nets? By constantly courting the Nuggets, Prokhorov may have baited the Knicks into giving up a lot more than was necessary, while the Nets basically gave up draft picks and a living stat curse to get one of the better players in the league.

Once they move to Brooklyn, the Nets will have the home base to try to get some of the other free agents-to-be, most notably Dwight Howard.

If I'm the Lakers, and I'm not saying this to be snarky, I keep Gasol, Odom, Bynum (or any two of the 3), and Kobe, and throw everything else I've got to try to get Chris Paul. With this huge exodus of stars running from the West to the East (even I'll admit, the most prevalent theme here is that Amar'e, Boozer, Williams, Anthony were all curb-stomped by the Lakers in the playoffs), this is a good a chance as any to wrangle the West for the next 3 years. Only team to fear is Oklahoma City because they are still very young. But everyone else is certainly beatable.

I'm not saying they have to do this (and this is just trade imagery running through my head, so it's completely dismissible), but if they did, whoa.

Anonymous Phil said...
The D-Will saga of destruction is complete. To think just three months ago I was stoked on this guy.

Personally, I think he mentally snapped somewhere along the way this season. He's been carrying and plugging a bunch of Christian living books at his post-game interviews. Probably said some offensive shit to Okur and ruined the team chemistry before getting the boot.

Such a shame, but he's always been kind of a negative guy and I think he never figured out how to channel that anger into a true winning attitude.

Blogger KHayes666 said...
Karc...you really think the Hornets would be stupid enough to give up Chris Paul when all they need is another star to put themselves over the top?

They're not the Grizzlies.

(BTW I still love how all the Laker fans bitched that Kevin McHale colluded with Danny Ainge to bring KG to Boston when Jerry West gave Pau Gasol to the Lakers)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
....Chris Wallace?

Blogger chris said...
Karc...you really think the Hornets would be stupid enough to give up Chris Paul when all they need is another star to put themselves over the top?

Interesting you mention CP3, because here's his thoughts on the Deron deal, from twitter:

Oneandonlycp3 CP3
Utah traded DWill?? #EpicFail #notagoodlook #trippin #cmonson

---

Really?

Anonymous Karc said...
@Khayes666 - If and when Chris Paul goes to the Knicks, the Hornets will only have Okafur and West. Not really terrified of that team. And they are barely a playoff team as it is right now.

I actually think more teams are like the Grizzlies. Utah and Denver just dumped their franchise players, just like Memphis moved Pau Gasol and Minnesota moved Kevin Garnett. If Paul really wants out of New Orleans, Hornets would be foolish not to move him next season. LeBron got crushed for walking (moreso for the pompous nature in which he did it), but fail on Cleveland for not getting something better for him.

And yeah, Chris Paul should think the Williams move is a fail. I was just letting my imagination run, but there is no way that the Hornets are going to move him to a contender. He'll be lucky if he doesn't end up in Detroit.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Dear Williams:

You should know by now players DO NOT run the Utah Jazz organization. Too bad the time the IMORTAL John Stockton spent tutoring you. Go F yourself in NJ. Hope you get DST from some russian bride, you find later is some dude called Pavliuchenko who works at the docks. Enjoy.

Blogger Will said...
Karc- You can't really blame the Cavs for not trading LeBron. What team in NBA history has traded their far-and-away best player when they had the best record on the eve of the playoffs? The lambasting they would have taken wouldn't end until the rapture.

Blogger chris said...
Karc: Considering that King Crab had already decided exactly which team he wanted to go to, how could the Cavs have gotten anything better beyond basically anything Miami offered?

Anonymous Karc said...
@chris and Yams - I was more referring to the undisclosed sign-and-trade that happened after the season, since as Yams mentioned, a mid-season move with the best record in the league would have been insane. By the time Cleveland decided to dump him, yeah, they were pretty screwed. But if they had any sense of how their star player really felt (and not this delusion that he was going stay being coached by Mike Brown and paid less than Shaq), they would have at least made a better attempt to get rid of him before things imploded. Miami wants him so bad, Cleveland could have suckered them into giving them everyone but Wade, which is what they were prepared to do anyway.

Utah and Denver made their cases pretty clear. Anthony wanted out from the start and Williams had to go after he got Sloan to resign. When something clearly is not going to work, change it.

Too many changes, though, and you turn into the Orlando Magic.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Dear Deron,

Please don't crap the bed in NJ, subsequently sinking my fantasy team.

Sincerely,

AnacondaHL

Blogger uqkobi said...
Dude, your blog rocks, I only read this and espn. Here's a cool idea, the Lacktion power ratings - the top 10 craptastic players published once a week, complete with crap stat columns. That way we could monitor who's clawing their way in and out of the suckville.

That would make it easier for me to follow my favourite players. Mbenga rocks!

Anonymous Karc said...
Looks like Gerald Wallace to Portland and Joel Pryzbilla to Charlotte is official. Bobcats get some cash too, is it too early to make a Jordan gambling joke?

Blogger chris said...
But if they had any sense of how their star player really felt

I'm not entirely sure that the Cavs had any sense of how King Crab really felt - they fired Mike Brown to appease him, after all.

Blogger KHayes666 said...
Wasn't Gerald Wallace the last guy from the inaugeral Charlotte Bobcats 04 team?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
KHayes666 - Technically, Matt Carroll is back on the team :D

Blogger LotharBot said...
I think the Nuggets taking their time and the Jazz rushing a trade shows exactly the opposite of what Karc said.

Over the course of the season, the Nuggets went from being offered Anthony Randolph, Eddy Curry, a pick, and a bag of basketballs for their one-dimensional superstar to being given 3 legit NBA players, 2 7-foot prospects, a first, an early second, and about $25 million in savings for their one-dimensional superstar and an aging (but still above average) player. Their brand new management team worked NY and NJ against each other (possibly with Proky being in on it) in order to get a deal that took them from being one of the oldest, smallest, and highest-payroll teams in the NBA to being one of the youngest, biggest, and with an average payroll (and cap space when KMart/JR come off the books.)

The Jazz traded a better superstar for one prospect, two picks, Devin "stat curse" Harris, and zero monetary savings and they're still quite a ways into the lux tax. I think they could've gotten a lot more if they'd taken longer than 3 seconds to develop the trade. They pretty much just took the price that had been set for Melo and settled for less for a better player. Granted, Favors and the 2 picks have the potential to be very, very good, and if they all pan out the Jazz will look like geniuses... but I think they could've worked a better deal if they'd taken a bit of time to do it.


WV: palincip. When Alaska's former governor speaks with a lisp?

Anonymous AdriĆ  said...
And I said loyalty is for sale... Gimme a prize or something

Blogger Wild Yams said...
KHayes666 - I still love how all the Laker fans bitched that Kevin McHale colluded with Danny Ainge to bring KG to Boston when Jerry West gave Pau Gasol to the Lakers

Check your facts, Jerry West was not working for the Grizzlies when the Gasol trade happened (West wasn't even working for the Grizzlies when Garnett was traded to Boston). That was all Chris Wallace with no "Laker help" whatsoever. Supposedly Mitch Kupchak initially offered Lamar Odom for Gasol, but Wallace rejected it because he was more interested in an expiring contract (Kwame Brown) than an established player. Jerry West, in fact, has since ripped Memphis for not getting more for Gasol in 2008.

So Laker fans are still totally justified and non-hypocritical for ripping McHale for gift-wrapping Boston's lone championship in the last 25 years with that Garnett swindle.

Blogger KHayes666 said...
I stand corrected. My bad

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Karc - I'm almost positive the Lakers will wait till the summer before making any serious trades, but come summer time, I'd be all in favor of them trading Odom for Chris Paul, or maybe Bynum instead. Then I'd like them to trade Gasol to the Magic for Dwight Howard. It's too bad Kobe has a no-trade clause in his contract, otherwise I'd be interested in the Lakers looking to move him too. But since that can't happen, a lineup of Howard, Odom, Kobe, CP3 and I guess Artest sounds good to me. I think that team could take Miami, OKC or Chicago (since Boston, San Antonio and Dallas are gonna be less of a threat as they get older).

Blogger Basketbawful said...
I brought this comment from Wild Yams forward from yesterday's comments:

So Laker fans are still totally justified and non-hypocritical for ripping McHale for gift-wrapping Boston's lone championship in the last 25 years with that Garnett swindle.

I call bullshit. Big time.

In return for Garnett, the Wolves got Al Jefferson (who became a 20-10 guy), Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff's expiring contract (worth $12 million off the books), two first-round draft picks and cash considerations.

So, to recap, a 20-10 guy, a $12 million dollar expiring contract, two double-figure scorers (Gomes and Green averaged 12.1 and 10.4 PPG, respectively, and Gomes shot nearly 40 percent on threes the previous season), a "potential guy" in Telfair (who's still on the team by the way) and two first round draft picks.

That's a swindle? Really, Yams?

If you really believe that, then go ahead and tell me what better package the T-Wolves could have possibly gotten? They got foundation piece (even if they traded him), they got major salary relief (remember, Kwame's expiring deal, which was the key to the Gasol heist, was worth $4 million less than Ratliff's), what at the time appeared to be a handful of decent role players and two first rounders (even if Minnesota wasted 'em).

The Garnett trade set the Timberwolves up to have FOUR first round draft picks in the 2009 Draft. They fucked that up...but they could have really built something with some wiser drafting. But that doesn't change the fact that they got serious value back from the Garnett trade. So, seriously, don't give me this "Garnett swindle" crap.

[/rant]

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