56 Comments:
Anonymous Astrid said...
I feel dirty.

Anonymous Barry said...
DAMN YOU CLIPPERS! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Anonymous Czernobog said...
One of your best posts ever.

Blogger Dan B. said...

Anonymous LDavis said...
They are and will always be who we thought they were.

Anonymous pion17 said...
Because it's the destiny of the Clippers to be the worst of all time. No team shall take it away. Good save!

Anonymous matthew said...
THEY
ARE
WHO
WE
THOUGHT
THEY
WERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous Marylander said...
ROFL. I was checking the score on my phone waiting for the Bawfulest moment of the season to happen. Good job Clippers.. damn good job!!!!


Anonymous kazam92 said...
http://www.sadtrombone.com/

It's only appropriate

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
I think I speak for all of us when I say FUCK YOU CLIPPERS.

Fuck.

Blogger Brigadier Ketchup said...
I second that sad trombone. Plus the Cavs won on their home court. And they didn't break the all time major male pro-sport losing stream :( That's what tears me up more than the Cavs finally winning a game.

And, of course, I wanted to see the Wizards/Cavs battle for the title of worst team ever.

Anonymous Mookers said...
Hows this for irony. LeBron James telling a fan not to be disrespectful.

http://video.thescore.com/watch/lebron-responds-to-fan-taunt

Anonymous Axe Head said...
Now we know what happens when the unstoppable force of badness (Clippers) meets the immovable object of badness (Cavaliers). Clippers always "win."

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
From the last thread:

"What has Hayward to do with this??"

Uh,

Possible report on Hayward being the cause
Chris Broussard alert but here's what he said:

"...
Williams and Sloan found themselves at odds during the 2010 draft and soon their already tenuous relationship began rapidly deteriorating. Deron lobbied hard for Ed Davis and Paul George. With Davis, Deron saw a big man whose size and toughness in the paint could finally allow Utah to solve the Los Angeles front-court problem. With George, Deron saw a running mate who could help Utah win right now.

Instead, Sloan saw this lobbying as a direct assault on his control over the team and a questioning of his abilities. He saw Deron's actions as an attempt to meddle in Sloan's affairs. Already leaning strongly toward Hayward, these actions pushed him solidly into Gordon's camp. The message was clear, Sloan wanted players who will come in, take orders, and stay out of his business.

As if not enough of an insult on its own, Sloan used the drafting of Hayward as justification for letting Deron's best friend on the team, Kyle Korver, to walk as a free agent. To make matters worse, Korver went to Chicago to play with Derrick Rose, a guy the notoriously jealous Williams was threatened by. Deron felt betrayed and from then on it was open war between the coach and his star PG.

Already not off to a good start, the situation was exacerbated when Deron met Hayward for the first time during the summer. The two bumped into each other in the team weight room. According to a source close to the situation, Deron asked Gordon if he could spot him on the bench-press. Gordon instead rolled his eyes, said "yeah right", and went over to the exercise mat to do jumping jacks. After doing a set of 200, Gordon left the facility and, according to reports, shut the lights out on Deron.

..."

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
cont.

"...

Sources say the first major blow-up came during a heated practice earlier in December. Known for riding his players hard during practice, Sloan was extra venomous over what he thought was a lack of effort and blatant disrespect on Deron's part. When Deron failed to pass the ball to a wide open Milsap who was standing behind the arc, Sloan stormed onto the court and started cursing out Williams.

"Do you want to get me fired? You want to get me fired you fucking piece of shit but I ain't going no where. Just run the fucking plays like you're supposed to you fucking dumb fucking fuck"

"Why the fuck are you always yelling at me so much? Fucking go bitch out Gordon for once, that fucking guy just ran into me when he was trying to set a screen and ended up tripping his own teammate the last play we ran"

"Because he does what I fucking tell him to. Do you ever want to win a championship? Then just fucking listen to what I tell you you big fucking idiot. You would be nothing without me, remember that. Now just do what I fucking tell you and you can maybe be a winner like Gordon"

From then on, Sloan's favoritism toward Hayward became such a sore spot among the players that they would often storm out of practice early. All except Hayward, who would often stick around to receive special one-on-one coaching. The players saw this as a blatant attempt at sucking up to the teacher. According to a team official who wished to remain anonymous, the two even went so far as to draw up special plays together just for Gordon.

...

The final straw happened this week against the Bulls. Not wanting to be shown up by his biggest rival on his own court, Deron yelled at Sloan during the final minute to get him the ball. But Sloan had a different idea. He drew up one of his special plays to get Hayward the ball. Williams was livid.

"If that fucking cracker gets the ball, then I am out of here"

"That kid has already hit more clutch shots then you ever will. Now pass him the fucking ball"

But Deron didn't pass him the ball, instead opting to modify the play on the fly.

Afterward, Gordon and Sloan were both livid. Sloan was pissed that Deron would ignore direct orders. After the game, Sloan stormed off to O'Connor's office with Hayward in tow to explain what happened and demand Williams be traded. This is where things take a twisted turn. According to a source in Hayward's camp, Gordon agreed to back Sloan up until the moment he realized that O'Connor wasn't going to side with the coach. He then did a 180 and told O'Connor that the team was sick of Sloan and that he needed to go. Betrayed, Sloan scribbled his resignation on a box-score print-out and stormed off."

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
One more time, it is Chris Broussard, but the point is there's more to it than just Deron.

Blogger Rogue said...
wow, If it is all true then I don't know what to say.

Anonymous TJ said...
Drama? In Utah? Whodathunkit.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Holy shit....that was one hell of a read


"the point is there's more to it than just Deron."


I've been preaching this although I had no idea about THIS exchange.


So....fuck hayward?

Anonymous Stockton said...
As I said before, Williams wanted to "take over" management, and Sloan praises that players play, coaches coach and make moves with GM.
He was pi$$ed for loosing Brewer, Mathews, Korver (and probably Maynor, which was a sign that money surpassed will to win)... but I was unaware of the gordon situation...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Did you just make all that up? If so, bravo.

Anonymous Wave said...
YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

LET'S GO CAVS

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The final straw happened this week against the Bulls. Not wanting to be shown up by his biggest rival on his own court, Deron yelled at Sloan during the final minute to get him the ball. But Sloan had a different idea. He drew up one of his special plays to get Hayward the ball. Williams was livid.

"If that fucking cracker gets the ball, then I am out of here"

"That kid has already hit more clutch shots then you ever will. Now pass him the fucking ball"

But Deron didn't pass him the ball, instead opting to modify the play on the fly.
......

I watched most of this game and I do not remember Gordon being in the game much at all. Checking the game log on ESPN shows that Gordon only played 5 minutes during the game, all of which came in the middle of the second quarter. Gordon was not in the game during the final plays of any quarter so how the hell was any “special” play going to be run for him? From the bench, off the rafters, nothing but net?

As for special treatment from Sloan, Gordon is averaging 12 minutes a game and less then three attempts per game, not what I would call special treatment.

Anonymous Gabe said...
FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

Blogger Clifton said...
Anaconda: I'm confused. I'm looking at the play-by-play of the Utah-Chicago game, and it doesn't look like Hayward was even in the game at the end. I show D-Will, Kirilenko, Raja Bell, Paul Millsap, and Al Jefferson (replaced at the 0:07 mark by C.J. Miles).

Unless, of course, that what you posted is satire, and I'm just completely missing it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Mustafa Shakur leads the Wizards in +/- against SA. Clearly a good sign.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
That is just too good to be satire....and he posted the Broussard link.


If you were bullshitting, then by all means write a book because you captivated me

Blogger Drake said...
Of course that was satire. The part that should have tipped everyone was the part when Hayward refused to spot Williams at the bench press, and did 200 jumping jacks instead (afterwards, shutting off the lights in the facility on his way out, with Williams still inside).

So anyway, here is tonight's illustrative depiction of a coach - Avery Johnson:

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/542807/IMG-20110212-00031.jpg

Blogger Clifton said...
And, by the way, re: the Clippers. You know, when a girl has broken your heart a few times, but then leads you on for a while, making you think things are different this time? Then, one day, she breaks your heart all over again, and it stings even more because you fooled yourself into thinking things could somehow end differently?

In short... she are who you thought she were.

Blogger Hisham said...
Sloan quit because he realized he would never win a championship and had already wasted too much of his life coaching the Jazz. He couldn't get past Jordan teams, has had trouble with the Lakers and just witnessing the beast that Rose is was enough to force him out of the business. It was the existence of a player or force that is ultimately unstoppable (in the same lineage as Jordan and Kobe except, this is just the beginning for Rose, he is going to be around for a while...) and again that force was on a team other than Sloan's. He was humbled and finally realized that he is too old for this shit. The fact that his owner is a cheap ass, the team has no bench and his star player is too disgruntled was not helping either.

Anonymous OneZero said...
free Blake Griffin!!

Blogger TeamD said...
Melo ''I take my hat off to myself for dealing with all this stuff that’s going on and still be able to go out and play at the high level.''

Jesus Christ almighty these nba players are just RETARDED

Anonymous Aaron said...
awesome story - however untrue it is!!!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Did Chris Broussard just make all that up? If so, not bravo at all.

FTFY.

awesome story - however untrue it is!!!

This is pretty much is. The number of crazy stories coming out right now has basically created this alternate entertainment. Basically since the truth is so absurd, a shotgun of absurd stories carry with it, which simply cannot believed, but you know one of them is the truth.

Also, if the part about Hayward's pendent in Akron didn't tip you off on that first link, I don't know what to tell you.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Over the last 30 years has there been a team with this many talented players with such a fugly offense? Almost unwatchable. At least Big Baby's missed dunk is a one time event. This is a perpetual trainwreck.

Anonymous Karc said...
Lakers should play on ABC more often. 0-3 this year, all against East teams, all of them blowouts.

Magic needed that "marijuana" win, especially Dwight Howard, who killed Andrew Bynum at least three times.

Still kind of surprised that they looked that good when Gilbert Arenas is on the team.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
What, no more "who me? I don't hate the Lakers" trolling posts, Karc? What a coward. Won't say who he roots for and only shows up to talk when the Lakers lose. Pathetic.

Anonymous EuroGuy said...
Was it a full moon Friday night? There must be a reason the Cadavers came alive. Oh wait, the Clippers were in town, that explains everything. The voodoo curse, that sucked the life out of the Cadavers team is, off course, not strong enough to beat the 1st Law of Bawfulness, i.e. "The Clippers are who we thought they were.

Blogger Jason D said...
And there's the Lakers I know and love! Usually I'd be upset about a loss like this but if LA can win the next two games ('Cats and Cavs) then I'll consider it a solid road trip. Definitely the kind of road trip they needed.

It's games like this that make me wonder how good the Lakers would be if we swapped Howard and Bynum...

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
Howard did most of his damage against Pau. Bynum got a lot of offensive boards over Howard, converting a few into FGs and missing a few others. The game was actually lost at the end of the 2nd quarter, when Howard went to the bench with three fouls and the score tied. Instead of feeding Pau or Drew in the post against Bass and Anderson, Fish called his own number twice in order to shoot contested jumpers (no excuse for that) and Kobe called his own number once. The result was Orlando taking a four-point lead into halftime, with Howard given a chance to get untracked in the second half.

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
Anaconda, I wonder if there's any truth to the story that Sloan wanted Hayward because he liked his headiness for calling a foul on Wesley Johnson with that game of one-on-one nerf basketball on the line. I can't decide which is funnier, that part or the part where Gordon wears a pendant that says "OL' DIRTY GORDON."

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"I know I can score 20 or 30 points anytime I want, but I'm not that kind of a guy. I want to win. I want to play the right way. Some games I'm going to get 10 shots, some games 15 shots. Sometimes, especially coming off the bench, you're going to feel cold, and you need time to get in the rhythm. But right now, what I care the most is for us to become a better team. And we are really capable of doing that." - Sasha E. Vujacic, Super Genius

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
MR BAWFUL
Between the clippers losing to both the cadavers AND craptors and demarcus cousins not being allowed on the team flight....is this the most bawful weekend ever?

Blogger Adam said...
Yams: How much you want to bet Kobe refused to sign Karc's jersey or something? His persistence in trolling Laker losses is as dedicated as it is sad.

Anonymous Karc said...
@Yams - Never said I wouldn't stop posting, I did say I was going to try to be less venomous and that the Lakers were done as contenders.

I mean, I could have mentioned Shannon Brown's spectacular bricked dunk (which is why no one else wanted him during the offseason), but it's just repetition at this point.

But, since you want some non-Lakers suckitude - Update to @Anon - DeMarcus Cousins suspended by his own team.

http://probasketballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/02/13/demarcus-cousins-suspended-by-kings/

Sorry, chris. I think the Laker apologists want me to get off LA's back for a while, and your team is an easy target...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
joel anthony one rebound 'shy' of the trip-zip! man those things really are hard to come by.

still secured the voskuhl though

Anonymous allison said...
And then the Cavs turn right around and end the Wiz' road losing streak... F*CK YOU so much, Cavs

Anonymous Franz said...
On the Contrary Anonymous, its a normal weekend for the Clippers.

Blogger gregsgourmet said...
A 26 game losing streak is nothing against 30 years of compulsive failure.

Blogger winnetou said...
Paul Pierce, defending 3pt shootout champion, best player in the world and now WoTN nominee went 0-10, including 0-5 from 3-point range in a Boston home win against Miami.

And in Cleveland, a the bawful streak of 26 Generals road losses ends as the Cadavers fail to win a "surging" headline.
(Btw, whoever linked the "Cavs practice" Onion article, thank you!)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Unintentional dirty quote: “In the third quarter we were coming,” Memphis coach Lionel Hollins said. “In the fourth, we just exploded"

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This was the Derrick Coleman of weekends. So much raw potential for bawful. Sure, there was some bawful, but the thoughts of what could've been will always linger on in my mind

Blogger draftaraujo said...
I was reading our NBA reporters daily blog this morning and I think I will be depressed for a good while, and I will say he is pretty creditable..


"Here’s one for you:

How would have liked Blake Griffin in a Raptors uniform?

You have to trust me on this but it comes from a guy I trust without doubt and it works like this.

Way back after the Clips on the lottery, there was a call made to determine if there was any interest in a deal that would have sent Chris Bosh to the Clippers for the No. 1 overall pick with Toronto willing to take back the then-monstrous contract of Baron Davis in the deal.

Didn’t happen, too bad."

http://thestar.blogs.com/raptors/

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
For historical posterity, and I know most of you know this already, but I think this is fitting for the post: After all these years, the Clippers still haven't fixed their fail logo, as the lines on the basketball don't make sense. Worst of the Ever.

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